OCD

[jewelkitty]

I'm just curious to see if there are many others on here with OCD. Obviously it's a bit of a funny time at the moment with OCD, germophobia and contamination!
If you have it or have had it, what kind(s)? Contamination, checking, etc? What have you used to try and fight it? Medication? CBT? Hypnotherapy? Other kinds of therapy?

Personally, the main types of OCD I experience are checking and contamination, but I can experience obsessions that will last for weeks or months that don't really fall into either category. I've done CBT which helped a lot but not completely. I'm currently on clomipramine and doing some research into hypnotherapy (controversial, I know!).
What has or hasn't worked for you?

 

[shadowcat5]

Reviving this thread because my therapist and I had an epiphany that my eating disorder stems from a type of OCD so I’m hoping people will see this and chime in with their experiences and advice.

 

[LaBlonde]

i didn’t know there was an ocd thread!

mine started with very bad hit and run ocd, but has moved more into contamination ocd and intrusive thoughts. both of those also lead to obsessions and convincing myself that events are going to occur (or have occurred) with no evidence. fun times!

medication has never really worked for me. i’ve had to develop my own coping mechanisms and exercises which (*touch wood*) seem to be helping. i was just on holiday and hotel rooms usually trigger me massively (along with bringing my luggage home) but i found i got through it without my usual intrusions, which was good!

 

[shadowcat5]

i didn’t know there was an ocd thread!

mine started with very bad hit and run ocd, but has moved more into contamination ocd and intrusive thoughts. both of those also lead to obsessions and convincing myself that events are going to occur (or have occurred) with no evidence. fun times!

medication has never really worked for me. i’ve had to develop my own coping mechanisms and exercises which (*touch wood*) seem to be helping. i was just on holiday and hotel rooms usually trigger me massively (along with bringing my luggage home) but i found i got through it without my usual intrusions, which was good!

do you mind sharing the coping mechanisms?

 

[LaBlonde]

do you mind sharing the coping mechanisms?

sure! i don’t know how helpful they’ll be, as they’re focussed very much on my contamination ocd (primarily based around bed bugs, which is silly) but i do a number of things:

- i write a itemised list of what i’m feeling, and then what the actual confirmed facts/evidence for any of this is. i don’t write anything that is my opinion or assumption, just what i know for definite is the truth. this list is normally very small. i keep it and refer back to it when i need to have a little reminder.

- this is niche, but i pretend that what i’m feeling is a forum post (ie on tattle) and what i would advise someone if they wrote out what i think it has happening. i do this as a complete stream of consciousness of my feelings and then draft a “reply”. my reply is normally very to the point and realistic, so again i use this as advice to myself.

- i do a lot of lists. so when i had hit and run ocd it would be “so you think you hit a pedestrian, list exactly why you think this”. again the list would be very small.

ocd is, a lot of the time, your mind playing tricks and working against you. i’ve always found that taking a step back and breaking my feelings down in a very factual blunt way helps me make sense of them. happy to try and suggest others if you’re comfortable though

 

[shadowcat5]

thank you! I can’t reply properly now but will quote you when I can write it down properly

 

[Snippysnips]

Mine is having to check plugs are off an doors locked, have to check numerous times, people just laugh it off an I haven't had anything for it because it's not "strong enough" for treatment but unless I've checked I'd not be able to sleep an would be stressed out my mind

I also find myself getting irritated an angry if things aren't in their place, I just can't handle mess either

 

[shadowcat5]

sure! i don’t know how helpful they’ll be, as they’re focussed very much on my contamination ocd (primarily based around bed bugs, which is silly) but i do a number of things:

- i write a itemised list of what i’m feeling, and then what the actual confirmed facts/evidence for any of this is. i don’t write anything that is my opinion or assumption, just what i know for definite is the truth. this list is normally very small. i keep it and refer back to it when i need to have a little reminder.

- this is niche, but i pretend that what i’m feeling is a forum post (ie on tattle) and what i would advise someone if they wrote out what i think it has happening. i do this as a complete stream of consciousness of my feelings and then draft a “reply”. my reply is normally very to the point and realistic, so again i use this as advice to myself.

- i do a lot of lists. so when i had hit and run ocd it would be “so you think you hit a pedestrian, list exactly why you think this”. again the list would be very small.

ocd is, a lot of the time, your mind playing tricks and working against you. i’ve always found that taking a step back and breaking my feelings down in a very factual blunt way helps me make sense of them. happy to try and suggest others if you’re comfortable though

thank you for replying with such detail! I wanted to make sure I give it a proper response.

so mine is twofold (thus far, this is an ongoing journey!)

1 is related to food behaviours so I can only eat certain foods from/with certain utensils. So I have a bowl for cereal, a bowl for my dinner, a bowl for ice cream etc and I can’t eat anything that isn’t that specific food item out of that bowl. Same with plates and cutlery. I can’t cross contaminate.

2 is related to what foods I’m “allowed” to eat on certain days. So I’m not allowed to eat my work food on the weekend. I’ve got weekday food and weekend food and I can’t cross over.

i also have a tendency to pin bad things on me not doing certain things. So like if I skip a gym day for whatever reason, anything bad that happens that day is attributed to not going to the gym that day.

ETA: it’s worth noting that I am a recovering anorexic and have a fear of vomiting.
---
There a bunch of other stuff as well now that I’m thinking about it but I’ll get to that in time

 

[malibu skies]

I’ve had OCD for as long as I can remember. Mine is mainly in the form of intrusive thoughts, counting/tapping, touching things, checking things are off/locked etc. Sometimes it verges on superstitions because I worry that if I do/don’t do something, something bad will happen. I.e. if I don’t use a certain pen at work, something bad will happen and I’ll make a mistake or if I don’t have my pillows facing a certain way then something bad will happen to my family. It sounds ridiculous and is probably the reason people humourise ocd but for me it’s a living hell everyday.

I have previously sought treatment with the nhs but have given up because treatment is so limited and hard to access (not a slam on the nhs, just my experience) so now I try and manage it myself. Like most things, it’s worse when I’m stressed/tired and so sometimes I just need a day at home by myself to get my things back under control.

I like things to be clean but I don’t think that’s related to my ocd, I just happen to have ocd and like things to be clean. But because of both of those things, friends assume my ocd is cleaning related and they make the usual jokes about how I’m “so ocd” because I like cleaning.

 

[WhatABore]

I’ve had OCD for as long as I can remember. Mine is mainly in the form of intrusive thoughts, counting/tapping, touching things, checking things are off/locked etc. Sometimes it verges on superstitions because I worry that if I do/don’t do something, something bad will happen. I.e. if I don’t use a certain pen at work, something bad will happen and I’ll make a mistake or if I don’t have my pillows facing a certain way then something bad will happen to my family. It sounds ridiculous and is probably the reason people humourise ocd but for me it’s a living hell everyday.

I have previously sought treatment with the nhs but have given up because treatment is so limited and hard to access (not a slam on the nhs, just my experience) so now I try and manage it myself. Like most things, it’s worse when I’m stressed/tired and so sometimes I just need a day at home by myself to get my things back under control.

I like things to be clean but I don’t think that’s related to my ocd, I just happen to have ocd and like things to be clean. But because of both of those things, friends assume my ocd is cleaning related and they make the usual jokes about how I’m “so ocd” because I like cleaning.

This is very similar to mine. Mine is all mainly counting/tapping/touching things.
Last night for example, i turned the taps off after washing my hands. Thought to myself "Do it again or a family member will be harmed"
So i did it again.. and then repeat. I did it around 9 or 10 times and I was getting increasingly frustrated because I just couldn't let it go.

I'm a lot better than I used to be but if i get even the slightest thought in my head, I have to do it or I feel something bad will happen. I can walk away but I will be thinking about it for hours and hours until I do it!

Getting frustrated with myself only seems to make it worse though. But also can't help getting frustrated when I feel stuck in a loop.

 

[malibu skies]

This is very similar to mine. Mine is all mainly counting/tapping/touching things.
Last night for example, i turned the taps off after washing my hands. Thought to myself "Do it again or a family member will be harmed"
So i did it again.. and then repeat. I did it around 9 or 10 times and I was getting increasingly frustrated because I just couldn't let it go.

Exactly this. I don’t know if you get the same thing but it feels like the urge is never satisfied. I start off touching something 3 times, then it becomes 4, and before I know it it’s been 10 minutes and I’m still tapping waiting to feel ‘right’

 

[WhatABore]

Exactly this. I don’t know if you get the same thing but it feels like the urge is never satisfied. I start off touching something 3 times, then it becomes 4, and before I know it it’s been 10 minutes and I’m still tapping waiting to feel ‘right’

Yes! It makes complete sense!
It's so hard to describe the feeling I get sometimes too. Almost like uneasy/nervous/dread. I really don't know how to explain it

 

[comment on life]

I have had ocd since I was 4. That's my earliest memory of it anyway. It started with tapping and counting. I was convinced that if I didn't do things in a certain order or a certain amount of times then my mother would die.

Around 11 it changed dramatically. I stopped the majority of the counting and tapping type behaviours and the ocd began to manifest as health anxiety (although not true health anxiety). I became obsessed with checking my body for new marks, bruises, freckles etc. Obsession over health worries became my reality.

I'm 34 now. Have been on countless antidepressants, anti anxiety pills, seen over 10 different therapists, tried CBD, prayer, begging, pleading .... Still can't defeat it. Still somehow convinced that these obsessions will keep my Mam (who is now in a hospice) alive.

People who say things like "I'm so ocd" because they like their wardrobe colour coded or whatever bulls*!t thing they come out with have no idea of the reality of the condition. So many wonderful experiences have been ruined because of ocd.

I have no memory of ever existing prior to ocd. Love to all who have to face this absolute cockwomble of a condition on the daily

 

[WhatABore]

I have had ocd since I was 4. That's my earliest memory of it anyway. It started with tapping and counting. I was convinced that if I didn't do things in a certain order or a certain amount of times then my mother would die.

Around 11 it changed dramatically. I stopped the majority of the counting and tapping type behaviours and the ocd began to manifest as health anxiety (although not true health anxiety). I became obsessed with checking my body for new marks, bruises, freckles etc. Obsession over health worries became my reality.

I'm 34 now. Have been on countless antidepressants, anti anxiety pills, seen over 10 different therapists, tried CBD, prayer, begging, pleading .... Still can't defeat it. Still somehow convinced that these obsessions will keep my Mam (who is now in a hospice) alive.

People who say things like "I'm so ocd" because they like their wardrobe colour coded or whatever bulls*!t thing they come out with have no idea of the reality of the condition. So many wonderful experiences have been ruined because of ocd.

I have no memory of ever existing prior to ocd. Love to all who have to face this absolute cockwomble of a condition on the daily

It's so difficult isn't it?
I hate that it is thrown around so easy by people who have zero clue how serious and frustrating it actually is!