WhatABore
VIP Member
It's so difficult isn't it?I have had ocd since I was 4. That's my earliest memory of it anyway. It started with tapping and counting. I was convinced that if I didn't do things in a certain order or a certain amount of times then my mother would die.
Around 11 it changed dramatically. I stopped the majority of the counting and tapping type behaviours and the ocd began to manifest as health anxiety (although not true health anxiety). I became obsessed with checking my body for new marks, bruises, freckles etc. Obsession over health worries became my reality.
I'm 34 now. Have been on countless antidepressants, anti anxiety pills, seen over 10 different therapists, tried CBD, prayer, begging, pleading .... Still can't defeat it. Still somehow convinced that these obsessions will keep my Mam (who is now in a hospice) alive.
People who say things like "I'm so ocd" because they like their wardrobe colour coded or whatever bulls*!t thing they come out with have no idea of the reality of the condition. So many wonderful experiences have been ruined because of ocd.
I have no memory of ever existing prior to ocd. Love to all who have to face this absolute cockwomble of a condition on the daily
I hate that it is thrown around so easy by people who have zero clue how serious and frustrating it actually is!