formerly_sitkx
Chatty Member
Some Titktok news, also hi to our readers
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formerly_sitkx
Chatty Member
Lionsden
VIP Member
Shall we call her Niyoni?Yoni, ya'll! Oh, Niomi, good luck, my dear! It's whatever for me so long as there are no more Lordons in the picture. I don't want a Forky reunion either, as he's a complete tool, but someone fun and dumb would be nice for a couple of months. But nobody even remotely fun would go anywhere near Nims, so...
simplithebEST
Active member
Niomi standing still and hanging her head in shame having flashbacks of this master masterpiece piece of shit and how she said YES to marrying this guy.
(I’m sorry I understand it is so juvenile of me but I can never ever fathom how Niomi Smart was fucking someone so repulsive)
(I’m sorry I understand it is so juvenile of me but I can never ever fathom how Niomi Smart was fucking someone so repulsive)
laplusheureuse96
Well-known member
I’m sorry but this is such a classic rich white woman activity. Upper-class women with no hobbies and no real jobs who like to pretend to be spiritual. God knows how much they are paying per lesson.Yeah, it's total shade. He's not wrong either.
---
She's worshipping the vag now (in between worshipping Mammon; she's a polytheist). Honestly, these people ... I can't
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MaddyP
Member
Sometimes I forget that we are the same age. Is it so hard for her to be just a little bit professional and not as childish? “It’s fun to wear a name tag”, seriously?
If I would run away from one of my business events because it’s “overwhelming” I wouldn’t wanna know what the consequences for me would be…
If I would run away from one of my business events because it’s “overwhelming” I wouldn’t wanna know what the consequences for me would be…
formerly_sitkx
Chatty Member
LONG POST AHEAD 
This is going to sound so stupid, but I think she is nothing without Gleam. They MADE her, she owes her success to them. She is the type of person who constantly needs some company overlords managing all her affairs because she just does NOT have the organizational skills / discipline / ambition / work ethic to be "self-employed". Marcus and Gleam are the only reasons she had success in social media. Hear me out: she cannot stay on top of her Bali visa, cannot pack her shit in time for a move, cannot even order boxes more than one day before the MOVERS come, cannot stay at a networking event more than 10 mins (more on that later).
Here's her video from 2017 on New Year's Resolutions, where she talks about wanting to be "more proactive" at work instead of "sitting back and letting things come" to her...You guys should watch the segment I linked, it really shows how easy Gleam made it for her and it's honestly hard to watch her be SO SMUG. She says "it's made me very complacent, I kind of just sit back, relax, like "okay cool, I love this brand, or I love this event I wanna go to."
At the time, they did EVERYTHING, she just ran around attending posh events and flying on luxury sponsored trips. Everything was set up / scheduled for her by Gleam. Her image was the product. The recipe book is a perfect example, you can find her videos where she "works" on it by going to meetings to pick cutesy fonts and pictures for the book...
Here's a Rolling Stone article about Britcrew, where Marcus is quoted saying: "I remember the first brand deal, hearing the amount of money that someone wanted to offer you [to promote a product], and it was, like, ‘This is insane'".
I don't think we can even comprehend how much money these people were raking in thanks to Gleam. They were very lucky that they caught the first wave of influencing, because today's influencers have to be much more creative and produce better content to even be noticed. The market is so so so saturated, and that's part of the reason Britcrew is having such a hard time staying even microscopically relevant -- they never had to be genuinely creative or manage their own social media. Back in the 2010s, Gleam basically monopolized Youtube influencer space, they had no one to compete with.
Nowadays, Niomi gets these odd short-lived manic bursts of inspiration, where she gets all these "amazing' ideas that never come to fruition because they require actual work and yield no immediate success (that she's used to from her Gleam days). She just burns out on everything within a few days. Think: newsletter, yoga retreats, podcast, menstruation/spirituality influencer (lol), those Pinterest boards she hid with the "soul"-something business idea, the crystals business idea (also hidden by her on pinterest), what am I forgetting???
So in short, it's absolutely no wonder that she was only able to spend 10 (!!!) minutes at the networking event before freaking the fuck out and running away. You heard that right, that's 10 minutes between her "lets get mingling" and "don't think I'm cut out for that, went to super-secret exclusive-to-me coffee shop" (screenshot credits to @Bonjour92). She had to advertise her non-existent talents without Gleam holding her hand, and that must be a real shock to the system.
This is going to sound so stupid, but I think she is nothing without Gleam. They MADE her, she owes her success to them. She is the type of person who constantly needs some company overlords managing all her affairs because she just does NOT have the organizational skills / discipline / ambition / work ethic to be "self-employed". Marcus and Gleam are the only reasons she had success in social media. Hear me out: she cannot stay on top of her Bali visa, cannot pack her shit in time for a move, cannot even order boxes more than one day before the MOVERS come, cannot stay at a networking event more than 10 mins (more on that later).
Here's her video from 2017 on New Year's Resolutions, where she talks about wanting to be "more proactive" at work instead of "sitting back and letting things come" to her...You guys should watch the segment I linked, it really shows how easy Gleam made it for her and it's honestly hard to watch her be SO SMUG. She says "it's made me very complacent, I kind of just sit back, relax, like "okay cool, I love this brand, or I love this event I wanna go to."
At the time, they did EVERYTHING, she just ran around attending posh events and flying on luxury sponsored trips. Everything was set up / scheduled for her by Gleam. Her image was the product. The recipe book is a perfect example, you can find her videos where she "works" on it by going to meetings to pick cutesy fonts and pictures for the book...
Here's a Rolling Stone article about Britcrew, where Marcus is quoted saying: "I remember the first brand deal, hearing the amount of money that someone wanted to offer you [to promote a product], and it was, like, ‘This is insane'".
I don't think we can even comprehend how much money these people were raking in thanks to Gleam. They were very lucky that they caught the first wave of influencing, because today's influencers have to be much more creative and produce better content to even be noticed. The market is so so so saturated, and that's part of the reason Britcrew is having such a hard time staying even microscopically relevant -- they never had to be genuinely creative or manage their own social media. Back in the 2010s, Gleam basically monopolized Youtube influencer space, they had no one to compete with.
Nowadays, Niomi gets these odd short-lived manic bursts of inspiration, where she gets all these "amazing' ideas that never come to fruition because they require actual work and yield no immediate success (that she's used to from her Gleam days). She just burns out on everything within a few days. Think: newsletter, yoga retreats, podcast, menstruation/spirituality influencer (lol), those Pinterest boards she hid with the "soul"-something business idea, the crystals business idea (also hidden by her on pinterest), what am I forgetting???
So in short, it's absolutely no wonder that she was only able to spend 10 (!!!) minutes at the networking event before freaking the fuck out and running away. You heard that right, that's 10 minutes between her "lets get mingling" and "don't think I'm cut out for that, went to super-secret exclusive-to-me coffee shop" (screenshot credits to @Bonjour92). She had to advertise her non-existent talents without Gleam holding her hand, and that must be a real shock to the system.
LolitaBlah
VIP Member
Shutterbug99
VIP Member
I wonder if she'll spill the beans on the Lordon split to anyone who signs up for this tier? Who would be crazy enough to pay £222 (of course it is 222!) to listen to her BS?!
curiouscat106
Chatty Member
“Legit hobby journalists” 
love it!!!
love it!!!
LolitaBlah
VIP Member
When she said she's gonna travel to Paris in the month of love I thought that she will spend a month here.. it's just a day and a half 
Honestly these influencers would make everything seem bigger and more important then it is.. an empty life.
As for mee I'm gonna be a little offline in the coming days as I'm off to my honeymoon
Sorry because I won't be able to do the next thread, I nominate @Shutterbug99 as she always does such a great job!
And Niomi... don't you dare and get a new man before I come back! well... she would be engaged again maybe! Oh moooooon
Honestly these influencers would make everything seem bigger and more important then it is.. an empty life.As for mee I'm gonna be a little offline in the coming days as I'm off to my honeymoon
Sorry because I won't be able to do the next thread, I nominate @Shutterbug99 as she always does such a great job! And Niomi... don't you dare and get a new man before I come back! well... she would be engaged again maybe! Oh moooooon
Mrs.Scamander
Active member
I'm always benefiting from y'alls vlog recaps so I'll take one for the team today.
0:30-- ok this started normal but she's drinking juice on then train and manages to make it look so smug. Like how? can drinking juice look THIS smug. Also she opens a container of fruit, sniffs it, and puts it away. Must have had too many blueberries for her.
1:00-- Weather report. I maintain this is Niomi's true calling.
2:39-- "I'm actually wearing quite a lot of colour today!" in head-to-toe beige. She is wearing a colourful scarf and clutching what must be the ugliest handbag I have ever seen.
3:00-9:30-- She spends this whole time monologuing in front of the camera. She mentions like 5 times that she's stayed at this hotel before. States repeatedly that she loves doing things alone. Talks about taking a journal with her to a restaurant so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable eating solo.
10:31-- Niomi takes three miniature bites from a croissant. She gestures wildly. "I am just living my best life! Very happy!" The clock behind her reads 1:20 pm; she has been vlogging since 6 am. IF she ate the train-fruit (rather than just sniffing it) and finished the smug train-juice, she is maybe up to 200 calories in 7.5 hours. A reminder to anyone reading that THIS IS NOT HEALTHY.
11:50-- She recaps her newly-published article: Paris is the city of love. Niomi is dating herself. She is in love with herself. Funny, we hadn't noticed. Then she eats lunch! She's been travelling for probably 8 hours at this point. She starts with wine (bold choice on a stomach that empty) and has the sweet potato gnocchi of her Instagram post. I'm praying that she actually finished it because watching her tiny bites stresses me out.
13:40-- she's talking about art. Niomi the bookworm is, it turns out, also an art fanatic. She's a bit of an artist herself! She draws mandalas at home. This is all very inspiring. Paris is one big art gallery.
16:45-- Weather update! It's raining, in Paris, in February. Niomi does not have an umbrella. Maybe I was wrong about meteorology being her true calling :-( But don't worry guys she's SO HAPPY.
17:15-27:40 oh god we're monologuing again. About solo travel. Again. Really, she loves being on her own. Really. She's very lucky not to have children just at the moment. So, so happy. She talks about travelling safely as a solo woman. Her advice: "Trust content creators like myself." Links are in the description box below. Amazing. This monologue lasts over 10 minutes. Again, amazing
28:30-- An important update: it is raining again. Also dinner alone last night was fine. We all should not worry about eating alone, it's nothing to be nervous about. She really, really likes it. Really.
31:30-- She just realised her scarf is like a Rothko. She didn't plan that
I am tired of hearing her say Rothko and Rothkos. "I GET the Mark Rothkos" she says, and "I'll explain later" but I do not want her to explain.
31:50-40:46-- She explains. Monologuing at a restaurant. "I've had quite the experience, experiencing Mark Rothkos." Niomi explains to us the concept of an art exhibition and her very own, totally original idea that art is not meant to be liked but to be felt. More radical ideas: Art is transcendent. It might even be political. Nothing is as it seems. Art is about the process just as much as it's about the final product. Most people don't know these things. It is impossible to count how many times Niomi says "transcendence". She has a massive glass of wine, bread (which she shows to the camera) and a piece of salmon (not shown). I suspect this is her first meal today. She calls it lunch. It is 4:30 pm.
(Side note I'm actually genuinely kind of happy for our simple-minded girl that she's discovering the beauty of art. It's a shame she has to be insufferable about it, but really! It's like watching a child see snow for the first time.)
41:30-- the faun painting which is like a remembrance of her ancestors. Imagine having that on your living room wall, she says. She's imagining having a living room. Girl, you threw your life away for a donkey. It's sad.
42:00-- Home in London for one final monologue about how much she loves travelling alone. She nearly has a massive epiphany about how doing something for content is not the same as doing it for yourself, but (thank goodness) that idea narrowly misses her and she goes on to remind us how very, very, truly happy she is. Yay.
She says "beautiful" only 16 times in this video, and noticeably mixes in synonyms like "lovely", "gou-geous" and "cute". I suppose we'll have to settle for that as character development
0:30-- ok this started normal but she's drinking juice on then train and manages to make it look so smug. Like how? can drinking juice look THIS smug. Also she opens a container of fruit, sniffs it, and puts it away. Must have had too many blueberries for her.
1:00-- Weather report. I maintain this is Niomi's true calling.
2:39-- "I'm actually wearing quite a lot of colour today!" in head-to-toe beige. She is wearing a colourful scarf and clutching what must be the ugliest handbag I have ever seen.
3:00-9:30-- She spends this whole time monologuing in front of the camera. She mentions like 5 times that she's stayed at this hotel before. States repeatedly that she loves doing things alone. Talks about taking a journal with her to a restaurant so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable eating solo.
10:31-- Niomi takes three miniature bites from a croissant. She gestures wildly. "I am just living my best life! Very happy!" The clock behind her reads 1:20 pm; she has been vlogging since 6 am. IF she ate the train-fruit (rather than just sniffing it) and finished the smug train-juice, she is maybe up to 200 calories in 7.5 hours. A reminder to anyone reading that THIS IS NOT HEALTHY.
11:50-- She recaps her newly-published article: Paris is the city of love. Niomi is dating herself. She is in love with herself. Funny, we hadn't noticed. Then she eats lunch! She's been travelling for probably 8 hours at this point. She starts with wine (bold choice on a stomach that empty) and has the sweet potato gnocchi of her Instagram post. I'm praying that she actually finished it because watching her tiny bites stresses me out.
13:40-- she's talking about art. Niomi the bookworm is, it turns out, also an art fanatic. She's a bit of an artist herself! She draws mandalas at home. This is all very inspiring. Paris is one big art gallery.
16:45-- Weather update! It's raining, in Paris, in February. Niomi does not have an umbrella. Maybe I was wrong about meteorology being her true calling :-( But don't worry guys she's SO HAPPY.
17:15-27:40 oh god we're monologuing again. About solo travel. Again. Really, she loves being on her own. Really. She's very lucky not to have children just at the moment. So, so happy. She talks about travelling safely as a solo woman. Her advice: "Trust content creators like myself." Links are in the description box below. Amazing. This monologue lasts over 10 minutes. Again, amazing
28:30-- An important update: it is raining again. Also dinner alone last night was fine. We all should not worry about eating alone, it's nothing to be nervous about. She really, really likes it. Really.
31:30-- She just realised her scarf is like a Rothko. She didn't plan that
I am tired of hearing her say Rothko and Rothkos. "I GET the Mark Rothkos" she says, and "I'll explain later" but I do not want her to explain.31:50-40:46-- She explains. Monologuing at a restaurant. "I've had quite the experience, experiencing Mark Rothkos." Niomi explains to us the concept of an art exhibition and her very own, totally original idea that art is not meant to be liked but to be felt. More radical ideas: Art is transcendent. It might even be political. Nothing is as it seems. Art is about the process just as much as it's about the final product. Most people don't know these things. It is impossible to count how many times Niomi says "transcendence". She has a massive glass of wine, bread (which she shows to the camera) and a piece of salmon (not shown). I suspect this is her first meal today. She calls it lunch. It is 4:30 pm.
(Side note I'm actually genuinely kind of happy for our simple-minded girl that she's discovering the beauty of art. It's a shame she has to be insufferable about it, but really! It's like watching a child see snow for the first time.)
41:30-- the faun painting which is like a remembrance of her ancestors. Imagine having that on your living room wall, she says. She's imagining having a living room. Girl, you threw your life away for a donkey. It's sad.
42:00-- Home in London for one final monologue about how much she loves travelling alone. She nearly has a massive epiphany about how doing something for content is not the same as doing it for yourself, but (thank goodness) that idea narrowly misses her and she goes on to remind us how very, very, truly happy she is. Yay.
She says "beautiful" only 16 times in this video, and noticeably mixes in synonyms like "lovely", "gou-geous" and "cute". I suppose we'll have to settle for that as character development
