Niomi Smart #68 When you start following a dick, you become one too...

[lookout]

Some people take a gap year. Niomi is taking a gap life.

 

[ItsMeMartha]

I just vomited in my mouth

 

[chausette]

I don't want to make this any worse than it already is, but I think there's a strong possibility they are both naked in those stories. Naked Lordon. *Shudders*

Ouch doesn't that pencil poke, ouch

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[Rosie34567-2]

If she had "pride and respect for women's bodies" she would not be engaged to the Knickers-for-Liquor guy.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Children of the moon.

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FUCK, and I can cannot stress this strongly enough, OFF.

 

[Jelly Bean]

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I just vomited in my mouth

What is wrong with him
Shrooms?

But I guess this answers an earlier question

It's Lordon. It's always Lordon.

 

[curiouscat106]

I knew he reminded me of someone creepy!! Sideshow Bob!!!

 

[CallItAsItIs]

Basically what I think when Nimbobs has a new Story And that manicure…why? Just take all of it off!

Under Lordon’s last grid post

 

[Jelly Bean]

if she's really fantasizing about living in the farm surrounded by animals, she doesn't need to travel all the way to Ibiza. Doesn't Will the farmer from Love Island works in his farm somewhere in the UK? She could have just approached him but well it's all hard manual work from his social media which I don't think Niomi will get to appreciate

Ah no I thinking farming to Niomi means floating around in a white dress with Hunter wellies plucking a lavender sprig or two. And then cuddling a lamb. Certainly not dealing with a cow's afterbirth at 3am or hammering frozen water drinkers in the depths of winter.

 

[Lovely_rita]

It looks like a field full of boring, pretentious, braindead trust fund kids. Partying disguised as getting in touch with nature and hard graft.

What a load of wank.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I honestly think Niomi is absolutely mental. Seriously. How can someone be so detached from reality? Her 'busy London life' was the odd meeting, endless free beauty/pamper appointments, going running or to the gym for an hour a day, and filming herself having a total breakdown over having to do an hour of work. I so wish she would go and shadow a normal workplace for just a few HOURS and realise how bloody lucky she is and has been. I find it scary how lacking in resilience a person can be, that she feels the need to 'slow down' from an already snail pace life. If she slows down anymore she'd have one foot in the grave. I think it's extremely unhealthy for someone her age to live like this as well tbh. It's almost like she's living the life of someone who has retired but I know pensioners who have more get up and go than her, it's surreal

 

[ElenaK]

She went through a lot during the pandemic? Well, let's see. She did get dumped and that's very sad and all, but we've commented on that a million times already. Other than that, she had it pretty easy, actually. She and Joe were in his parents' guest house during the first lockdown and the house was small, but luxurious, with a nice garden, not to mention they had access to nature at all times. Then she was in her parents' mansion in Sussex, with great outdoor space, then in her own shed. And the most important thing, she and everyone she loved made it out just fine, which is obviously great!
Meanwhile, people were dying all around the world, losing loved ones and many were living in tiny apartments with not even a balcony, let alone whole forests and parks at their disposal.
Poor Niomi had it the roughest, though!

Edit: @Jackie Daytona, we got the same thing on our mind, it's maddening how her fans think she's some sort of martyr!

 

[Rosie34567-2]

It's hilarious how she keeps trying to push this whole "nature girl" thing. She likes the idea and marketing aspects of nature. But she doesn't actually enjoy it:

-Hates weather and seasonal changes on a deep, pathological, level. It needs to be sunny at all times, regardless of location.
-Had to be rescued by authorities in a jungle because she was arrogant and ill-educated.
-Complained about the presence of dust at an outdoor festival.
-Went hiking in Ireland in a skirt/dress.
-Thrives in large cities and is happiest at London PR events
-Constant travel and consumerism.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

It just fucks me off so much that her life is so nice and easy and she does absolutely NOTHING of value

 

[Calabria]

To me it’s giving Mills and Boon!
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Edit- omg this is a complete fluke but look at the strap line at the bottom!

I think the strap line should be a thread title!

“He walked into her life, and took over”

 

[kale-supremacist]

Every two weeks, she gains clarity and guidance. How lost can one be...

 

[melfish]

That post makes me want to strangle her with my fallopian tubes

 

[Lovely_rita]

The moon was looking very beautiful on my walk to work this morning. I remembered Dimbobs' post, so I gave the moon a nod and a wink for her.

Naturally, I felt like an utter prat, and I hope nobody saw me.

 

[queenamber]

God I absolutely love when influencers talk about "living abroad" and it's for 3-6 weeks.

As someone who has been jumping through immigration hoops for the last 10 years, Niomi couldn't manage one piece of paperwork and would probably tell the immigration officer he was dimming her light

She's delusional.

 

[Cold_in_July]

They sure like to sing each other’s praises considering they are doing nothing of note…