Niomi Smart #66 Engagement Era 2.0 Niomi Smug and her Slug

[Foxylady]

Hey everyone. I never posted here but I read sorry about my English, I’m from Portugal.
Just wanted to say Im pretty sure I saw Niomi and Lordon on the street. Niomi was looking at her phone the whole time, and her hair looks so dry in real life. Lordon was looking around with his mouth open (looked like he was confused the whole time, as if he was seeing the world for the first time). This was only some minutes on the street, just thought it was interesting to share!

 

[ItsMeMartha]

Suffer!!!
View attachment 2332578

My eyes!!! They Burn!!
Also is that a peen shadow….

 

[ElenaK]

Suffer!!!

 

[Shutterbug99]

Niomi Smart #67 Lordon's skinny pencil peen is the very worst thing I've ever seen

 

[CallItAsItIs]

I am forever VOMMING in my mouth after Nimbobs’ new reel.

You also gotta love the lululemon tag, in the hopes that she might get some free shit.

 

[Shutterbug99]

She is truly insufferable now. Writing down self-help book recommendations for the dude on the desk. I know I would have told her to fuck right off, lol!

She definitely sees herself as an enlightened being who exists on a higher plane above all others now just because she got naked and did psychedelics at a festival. Ugh. She's the worst!

Note how she said she had to go and pay for their luggage. I just know Lordon doesn't pay for a single thing. He's totally using her and she's too stupid to see it. Also, she totally deserves him at this point!

 

[Shutterbug99]

No words just I did not need to see that!

I knew the comments on this would be good. Haha!

 

[Jelly Bean]

'Sex yoga and the peen shadow' have to appear in a thread title

They've both lost the fucking plot haven't they?

 

[MuthaCuppa]

The 3 things I’m grateful for today from my partner;

Thanks for having the grace to lift the duvet to fart out of the side of it this morning.
Thanks for taking the bin out after only 2 reminders.
Thanks for not taking too much persuading to get a takeaway tonight.

 

[Jelly Bean]

My eyes!!! They Burn!!
Also is that a peen shadow….

Eeuuwww it's so thin and pointy

 

[earlgrey]

Agree who would actually want relationship advice from someone who is still not over being dumped 3 years ago, was completely delusional about her last relationship, thinks being single is a major handicap, and got engaged to her ugly, walking red flag holiday fling after less than a year?
---
You could probably get great relationship advice by following the exact opposite of what she does.

dont cut out all your friends and family for your new boyfriend

dont get engaged to a holiday fling you’ve known less than a year

DON’T let a man call you batshit crazy for having emotions

don’t let a man invalidate your feelings and emotions by grabbing you and saying shhhh I love you

If you regularly feel like you need to jump on a plane and run away, maybe take note of that?

don’t settle for a lifestyle that makes you depressed if you don’t need to

do have some time apart from your “love”

dont make out in cafes

Do decorate your flat for Christmas even if you are - gasp - single

don’t dictate what your partner eats

don’t hide food from your partner

don’t make snide comments about every literal crumb your partner eats without your permission

never having a cross word is not a good thing

Don’t shit talk your ex on podcasts

do acknowledge your female friends even when you are in a relationship

 

[curiouscat106]

Niomi Smart #67 - dancing naked high off her tits, bathing in a lake where people take shits

 

[Dlslcenj]

Omg her new story. I literally have no words. SHE WROTE DOWN SELF DISCOVERY BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND GAVE IT TO THE MEMBER OF STAFF?? The absolute arrogance.

I’d also be more than willing to bet money that Jamie had originally said or done something to cause that reaction from the guy in the first place.

 

[Shutterbug99]

And here I was thinking that nothing could be worse than sex yoga with Kevin...

Awaits 'Naked mud bath with Lordon' reel.

 

[AshMay]

Time to find airport dude and hand him a slip of paper with this tattle url on it

 

[kittenseer]

That whole airport story. Wtf is wrong with her?? Just be like any other normal person and if someone is rude to you just move on?? How did she expect him to react after making his job unnecessarily difficult by taking everyone’s time by writing down self-help books and acting like freaking Jesus? She is beyond insufferable now, actually don’t think I can even hate follow her anymore.

 

[formerly_sitkx]

“Surrender surrender surrender to this relationship. I’ve never been happier, I’ve never been happier, I’ve never been happier…”

 

[ILikeToWatch]

Actually she reminds me of this bit in Mean Girls lol

 

[Jelly Bean]

'Surrender surrender surrender' doesn't sound that inspirational to me. It's like she's gritting her teeth and constantly doing things her instincts tell her she shouldn't do
Like trying to run away from pointy peen but him restraining her and telling her he loves her.

 

[formerly_sitkx]

It’s giving “failed cult leader & his one desperate disciple”