peanutbuttercupp11
Chatty Member
When I tell you I RAN here
- Notice
Oh god here we go.
What an odd engagement. At his parents house which looks like the inside of a National trust property with your family awkwardly standing around. Is it just me or does the whole thing look really awkward?
And they’ve only been together a year. What a rushed decision considering she’s had a broken engagement 2 and a half years ago.
What an odd engagement. At his parents house which looks like the inside of a National trust property with your family awkwardly standing around. Is it just me or does the whole thing look really awkward?
And they’ve only been together a year. What a rushed decision considering she’s had a broken engagement 2 and a half years ago.
Hannabeth_
Member
Would love to make fun of Niomi but I’m a 30 year old woman with a grown up job, literally rescheduling meetings so I can finish reading this thread and updating my own fiancé on Nimbob’s latest one 
The word I would use is “resigned” - she has resigned herself to her toothy lot in life. She thinks it’s better than being alone, and that at least his family’s house is fancy (and she’s lost all her friends anyway so might as well cling on to Lordon)
Grandpa Ian looks like he hopes he dies before the wedding
The word I would use is “resigned” - she has resigned herself to her toothy lot in life. She thinks it’s better than being alone, and that at least his family’s house is fancy (and she’s lost all her friends anyway so might as well cling on to Lordon)
Grandpa Ian looks like he hopes he dies before the wedding
sydneybarrett
Well-known member
idk why but this might be the funniest niomi photo i've ever seen lol the forced smile reminded me of the burning house "this is fine" meme
Shutterbug99
VIP Member
He proposed on their one year anniversary. One year. That's how long she's known this guy. And she's still not over her previous broken engagement.
Honestly. What a shit show!
Honestly. What a shit show!
sydneybarrett
Well-known member
sorry it had to be done..
thanks for the inspo jamie xx
thanks for the inspo jamie xx
I preferred the one Joe got her. She seemed to love it way more she was gushing that he had it sourced, designed and made for her in India and was an emerald, her birth stone. Plus same style as Kate Middletons.
I’m pretty sure the one Joe got her would have cost a lot more, emeralds are much more expensive and it was huge. Not that it matters.
Joes proposal seemed so intimate and romantic. Took her to a secluded beach she used to go to with her grandparents just before Christmas. Was in Sussex so they could see her family after. And they’d been together 4 years and Joe was really close with her family.
This seems rushed and so impersonal? she barely knows his family and he barely knows hers - they’ve been abroad for 6 months of this relationship. so they are standing around clapping like strangers.
I’m pretty sure the one Joe got her would have cost a lot more, emeralds are much more expensive and it was huge. Not that it matters.
Joes proposal seemed so intimate and romantic. Took her to a secluded beach she used to go to with her grandparents just before Christmas. Was in Sussex so they could see her family after. And they’d been together 4 years and Joe was really close with her family.
This seems rushed and so impersonal? she barely knows his family and he barely knows hers - they’ve been abroad for 6 months of this relationship. so they are standing around clapping like strangers.
Critchley
Active member
We also need to update the wiki at some point.
The Nimbobs equivalent of an atom bomb was dropped today, with us tattlers scrambling for shelter, trying to scavenge for crumbs of rationality within a tremendous mosaic of DJ-related trauma.
Their story so far:
[PART 1: THE MEET CUTE]
After getting lost in the jungle, she breaks up with Forky and goes to Bali
She posts a video saying she's not open to dating (but the men are apparently "persistent")
Her grandfather dies, but she licherally doesn't care haha.
She brings a man she's known for TWO WEEKS to London (it is here where Lordon earns his namesake)
Her family surprises her like she's been off on a military deployment. Lordon hangs in the back like a spirit from the Conjuring.
[INTERLUDE]
They do a weird photoshoot where she photographs his silhouette from behind as a way to become insta-official. Very creepy.
Someone DMs Lordon about his relationship status, and he replies saying that they're actually married, giving tattlers everywhere a heart attack
Lordon goes briefly missing, and we pray for a break up (alas, fate is cruel)
[PART 2: BALI REVISITED]
As the lovely @QueenBW put, McDonkey boarded the "Queen T of the Seas" on a sustainable (not) vacation with Niomi's family - he is subsequently cropped out of every photo
They go back to Bali, and Niomi posts a romantic beach picture of the Bali Swindler gripping her ass. How cute.
She rents out her Donkey shed
They take several weird pictures of him suspending her mid-air. (Don't zoom in, or you'll see his mouth gaping open like an extra moist cave of wonders.)
[PART 3: LONDON ERA]
They move into a London home together, much to the bafflement of many. She decorates it with several pseudo-erotic photos of herself???
Somewhere around this time she visits Berlin, where she makes the interesting choice to take a photoshoot in combat boots (hmm... wonder why)
She starts putting out dildo advertisements on Youtube
This, followed by an incredibly jarring "interview" on contraception
[PART 4: BALI REVISITED... AGAIN]
They move back to Baaaahhhli, where they immediately get IV drips to "fight jet lag" (questioning this behavior will cause you to lose 50k braincells)
It appears she lost her luggage, which still doesn't explain why she keeps parading around in skimpy underwear in a primarily Muslim country.
We are blessed with a flurry of content: daily walk, daily coffee, daily motorbike, daily thong bikini, daily workout. She's a productivity queen.
She releases a schizophrenic rant about "bright tribes" and "women of the shadows" that leaves us questioning her sanity
We are once again assaulted with unprompted pictures of her and her boyfriend's A$$ in front of a waterfall.
Somewhere around here, she completely cuts off Charlotte. By now, her world revolves around Lordon and Lordon alone.
[PART 5: BALI, ESCALATED. THEN IRELAND.]
They buy a place in Bali, where she spends several hours watching grass grow... (No, I am not making this up.)
She replaces solid food with liquid food and wonders why she's getting bad diarrhea... (No, I am not making this up.)
Her life goal is now about getting the splits down. Round of applause, everyone.
Sometime around here, they literally tie the knot in this Balinese ceremony where they get "spiritually married."
They move out of their London home from Bali, and fly straight to Ireland. (again, questioning this behavior will cause you to lose braincells)
She loses her luggage again and shops for an entire new wardrobe. Talk about bleeding $$$
They stay in Jamie's parents' home, like a pair of degenerate basement-dwellers.
Jamie mansplains Ireland to her and films her eating 1 (one) bite of a croissant with a murderous look on her face.
[PART 6: A BRIEF STINT IN NOTTING HILL]
She visits London "from a tourist's perspective," and we see the sparkle in her eye return for a brief second.
She's reunited with Daisy May for a day. It apparently doesn't bother her that she's missing several crucial moments in DM's life.
They return to Ireland. Joy.
Lordon releases a podcast episode that's 30% Niomi mooning over the Joe breakup and 70% Lordon interrupting, calling her crazy, and love-bombing.
What a healthy relationship guys, are you envious yet?
[PART 7: INSANITY IN IRELAND]
Niomi posts a "cry for help" video on Youtube where she basically confesses to being massively depressed and crying for hours on end.
This is apparently due to an eclipse, and not the male chauvunist she's living with.
Lordon starts searching for someone who can create content for Niomi... who is...a content creator.
In an inexplicable turn of events, Niomi goes FULLY TOPLESS on the beach (!!!?????)
We are bombarded with topless pic after topless pic, with no reprieve. It leaves many questioning whether they are on Instagram or OnlyFans.
In an even more inexplicable turn of events, we witness her hanging out with 5 men in the woods. Who are they?? What was the point of that??
She attends a wedding, gushes about how she "loves love," and then BAM!
Proposal.
Mic drop. (Or should I say bomb blast.)
The Nimbobs equivalent of an atom bomb was dropped today, with us tattlers scrambling for shelter, trying to scavenge for crumbs of rationality within a tremendous mosaic of DJ-related trauma.
Their story so far:
[PART 1: THE MEET CUTE]
After getting lost in the jungle, she breaks up with Forky and goes to Bali
She posts a video saying she's not open to dating (but the men are apparently "persistent")
Her grandfather dies, but she licherally doesn't care haha.
She brings a man she's known for TWO WEEKS to London (it is here where Lordon earns his namesake)
Her family surprises her like she's been off on a military deployment. Lordon hangs in the back like a spirit from the Conjuring.
[INTERLUDE]
They do a weird photoshoot where she photographs his silhouette from behind as a way to become insta-official. Very creepy.
Someone DMs Lordon about his relationship status, and he replies saying that they're actually married, giving tattlers everywhere a heart attack
Lordon goes briefly missing, and we pray for a break up (alas, fate is cruel)
[PART 2: BALI REVISITED]
As the lovely @QueenBW put, McDonkey boarded the "Queen T of the Seas" on a sustainable (not) vacation with Niomi's family - he is subsequently cropped out of every photo
They go back to Bali, and Niomi posts a romantic beach picture of the Bali Swindler gripping her ass. How cute.
She rents out her Donkey shed
They take several weird pictures of him suspending her mid-air. (Don't zoom in, or you'll see his mouth gaping open like an extra moist cave of wonders.)
[PART 3: LONDON ERA]
They move into a London home together, much to the bafflement of many. She decorates it with several pseudo-erotic photos of herself???
Somewhere around this time she visits Berlin, where she makes the interesting choice to take a photoshoot in combat boots (hmm... wonder why)
She starts putting out dildo advertisements on Youtube
This, followed by an incredibly jarring "interview" on contraception
[PART 4: BALI REVISITED... AGAIN]
They move back to Baaaahhhli, where they immediately get IV drips to "fight jet lag" (questioning this behavior will cause you to lose 50k braincells)
It appears she lost her luggage, which still doesn't explain why she keeps parading around in skimpy underwear in a primarily Muslim country.
We are blessed with a flurry of content: daily walk, daily coffee, daily motorbike, daily thong bikini, daily workout. She's a productivity queen.
She releases a schizophrenic rant about "bright tribes" and "women of the shadows" that leaves us questioning her sanity
We are once again assaulted with unprompted pictures of her and her boyfriend's A$$ in front of a waterfall.
Somewhere around here, she completely cuts off Charlotte. By now, her world revolves around Lordon and Lordon alone.
[PART 5: BALI, ESCALATED. THEN IRELAND.]
They buy a place in Bali, where she spends several hours watching grass grow... (No, I am not making this up.)
She replaces solid food with liquid food and wonders why she's getting bad diarrhea... (No, I am not making this up.)
Her life goal is now about getting the splits down. Round of applause, everyone.
Sometime around here, they literally tie the knot in this Balinese ceremony where they get "spiritually married."
They move out of their London home from Bali, and fly straight to Ireland. (again, questioning this behavior will cause you to lose braincells)
She loses her luggage again and shops for an entire new wardrobe. Talk about bleeding $$$
They stay in Jamie's parents' home, like a pair of degenerate basement-dwellers.
Jamie mansplains Ireland to her and films her eating 1 (one) bite of a croissant with a murderous look on her face.
[PART 6: A BRIEF STINT IN NOTTING HILL]
She visits London "from a tourist's perspective," and we see the sparkle in her eye return for a brief second.
She's reunited with Daisy May for a day. It apparently doesn't bother her that she's missing several crucial moments in DM's life.
They return to Ireland. Joy.
Lordon releases a podcast episode that's 30% Niomi mooning over the Joe breakup and 70% Lordon interrupting, calling her crazy, and love-bombing.
What a healthy relationship guys, are you envious yet?
[PART 7: INSANITY IN IRELAND]
Niomi posts a "cry for help" video on Youtube where she basically confesses to being massively depressed and crying for hours on end.
This is apparently due to an eclipse, and not the male chauvunist she's living with.
Lordon starts searching for someone who can create content for Niomi... who is...a content creator.
In an inexplicable turn of events, Niomi goes FULLY TOPLESS on the beach (!!!?????)
We are bombarded with topless pic after topless pic, with no reprieve. It leaves many questioning whether they are on Instagram or OnlyFans.
In an even more inexplicable turn of events, we witness her hanging out with 5 men in the woods. Who are they?? What was the point of that??
She attends a wedding, gushes about how she "loves love," and then BAM!
Proposal.
Mic drop. (Or should I say bomb blast.)
Last edited:
sonnenschein8
Active member
And in front of family, all on camera, so she couldn’t say no…. And you still don’t think he’s coercing you, Nimbobs? 
and he doesnt even let her go and say hello to them after they've travelled all that way. she's already in shock and he doesnt give her parents a moment with their daughter before making it all about the proposal!!
Joey’s private and romantic proposal on the beach with the gorgeous unique green ring is looking pretty perfect by comparison….
and he doesnt even let her go and say hello to them after they've travelled all that way. she's already in shock and he doesnt give her parents a moment with their daughter before making it all about the proposal!!
Joey’s private and romantic proposal on the beach with the gorgeous unique green ring is looking pretty perfect by comparison….
Lilac Wine
Well-known member
So bizarre that his Dad is wearing a three piece suit for Sunday lunch. Who are these people? Big Tezza must be ecstatic.
Anneliese2199
VIP Member
Niomi Smart #63 JW is that you? Let’s do it again, I do, round 2
irvinelane
VIP Member
triesherbest
Chatty Member
who takes a selfie with a stranger upon meeting them for the first time? god it's so weird
FireBurns21
Member
God the way he kept picking her up and her feet dangling like a child made me 
happydogmum
New member
weird to post this
