Niomi Smart #57 Niomi Shart: Get the shts, practice the splits - in Bali

[forthescreenshots]

Niomi Smart #58: as lost as her luggage

I had to

 

[Shutterbug99]

I don’t know, I’m just trying to make sense of the situation even though I sadly wasn’t paying close enough attention. What I gather is no one needed to pay, nothing is set in stone for the event, and he wants brands to get in touch. Oh and he has less than a month to sort everything out including the venue. This just doesn’t sound like it’s on the up and up.

Oh, it's a scam for sure. I think he ran out of money and needs some quick cash. He said one person donated €100. Crazy, if true. I didn't know he was looking for sponsors for the event. I don't think he even has a venue. I think he's planning on hosting it outside/on a beach. Well, good luck with that in Ireland in March when it'll probably be raining and everyone will freeze.

Dude is a total con artist. Really bad news.
---

Oh my God is this his way to marry her without actually marrying her? like he convinced her that it is better to be spiritually married in Bali, that now they are joined in love and spirit or whatever.. and that way she will never nag him about getting really engaged and get legally married?

Oh he's gooooooooood!

I think this is exactly what's happened. She considers herself married to him and that's what all this 'choosing to experience life with you' bs is about. They are not like other couples, you know. This also means he doesn't have to fork out for a ring!

Niomi Smart #58 She wanted a ring, instead all she got was a piece of string.

 

[malino_]

Two whole pages without any reason to throw up we can do it!

Spoke too soon
Here’s a screenshot from the video on his latest Instagram story.

Ive said it once & I’ll say it again. They’re both mental

 

[LolitaBlah]

Dear desperate housewives of the shadows,

Last week was the week of love and roses and gifts and cards. I hope you all had a beautiful Valentines day with your significant others, your loved friends, your family or just by yourself feeling gorgeous and loved by the most important person in the world: YOU!

Guess who had none of that? Oh you bet you weather smoothie bowl that it's the Shart's! I mean the Smart's! (Jamie might as well change his name legally to Smart already!). According to Nimbobs, what other couples do isn't their thing so our least conventional couple ever celebrated their love privately and stayed off social media because they don't have to convince the world that they are in love.. OF COURSE NOT! Of course famewhore Jamie and Niomi spent the day sharing stories and posts on IG showing Joe the world their love and passion and Jamies thirst for social exposure. The cringe continued with their morning routines of naked gym sessions, ED meals, constent diarrhea and maniac dances on the beaches.. like litcherally.

On a more serious note, it seems like all Niomi's life is evolving around one person and one person only: Lordon. No more friends, family, solo activities.. they are inseparable and it seems like he is controlling every single word that is coming from her mouth. People in this thread with past toxic relationships are recognising all the signs.. I personally am triggered by so many red flags.. She needs an intervention.
In other news, Forky doesn't think that he will be marrying any time soon, and when he does it's gonna be with a much much younger female because that's the way of nature.. I don't even think that she is born yet according to my calculations

Thread title idea by @Lionsden, edited by @londongirl2001, thank you lovelies And thank you @sydneybarrett, our OF spy on Marcus's Butt The poll is back!

Long live the shadowzzz. Littcherally!

 

[Ciri]

I did my detective work. I think i will open an agency. Donations are welcome. Keep it strictly for you, whatever happens.

 

[CallItAsItIs]

What Bali friends? Far as I can tell, they only hung out with each other.

Also, you left because you don’t actually live in Bali, and you didn’t have the proper visas to allow you to stay longer. This is not rocket science.

 

[buffyjayne]

No, it's not normal in yoga. She is doing performative white skinny girl yoga. She is making it seem like you can only practice yoga if you weigh 7 stone and can do headstands and dangerous variations of poses. Sorry if I offend anyone but this yoga stuff triggers me. Almost no respect to the tradition behind it.

 

[LolitaBlah]

Well.. that audio made me think of something else...

 

[mg95]

I do not understand what’s remotely funny or notable about an OBGYN having baby photos in their clinic. Especially in a country where premarital sex is frowned upon and many women seeking care likely do so after marriage and when expecting. She’s lost the plot. No brain cells found.

She’s been hinting at this baby thing for a while so something tells me this will be happening soon enough anyway. She also seems crazy enough to baby trap

 

[lbmlt]

Can’t wait for her next video in Ireland, explaining how the London flat actually didn’t feel right and how she realised that she doesn’t like stability as much as she thought. The conclusion will probably be that now everything is clear and she’s on the right path

 

[Rosie34567-2]

What's that song she's shared? Is she going born again Christian now?

Lmao you weren't kidding
I can't keep up with all of her identity crises! If anything, I would've expected something related to Hinduism or Buddhism. But Christian Gospel music??? Niomi is straight up ridiculous.

 

[cocochino]

If the person who wrote this reads here (which obviously they do because this info is straight from a previous thread)… Please stop. We’re all concerned but this is overstepping. It’s no wonder Charlotte and Emily and Val and all her old normie friends that she dropped have gone private. I am surprised that Verity hasn’t blocked and deleted but perhaps it’s just poor ‘tech’ skills. Would also think Niomi would ask her to delete it but maybe they aren’t speaking.

View attachment 1971188

Agreed. Can we not send messages to her family and friends? It’s fucking weird guys.

 

[phutton44]

Who voted for Lordon in the poll? He finally has ONE vote!!!

I bet it was Lordon.

 

[Popkorn]

Niomi, shut up. Everybody knows if Joe Woodward called you to resume your relationship and life in London, you'd run back to him in a heartbeat.

 

[irvinelane]

This view? No thanks.

 

[Shutterbug99]

Her last post: is she seriously COMPLAINING?!?
"Kinda frustrating after the most heavenly period to then be hit with more stress in 48 hours than I'd felt in 2 months"
Now I've heard everything

She doesn't live in the real world!

Which one of you did it?

 

[Callan]

Greetings from Forky...

Bradley Simmonds Get It Done

dumbass is living in the 40's or something Yeah patriarcal poster for women's day. I didn't know that he could do worse but here he is. Congrats on your retardness Not only does he make a day that's meant to be celebrating women about men and reduces them to reproductive vessels, but he...

tattle.life

Fellow Tattlers pointed out his spelling, which is per usual total shit.

 

[Lionsden]

Sorry but who is voting for Forky? Are you okay? I just want to talk

I think Forky was the best match for Niomi. They are both stupid, shallow, uneducated, unsympathetic, entitled, conservative. I relished every minute these two idiots spent together. Joe and Marcus were too good for her, but no one deserves a Lordon.

 

[CallItAsItIs]

WHY?!?

Can’t she date anyone who knows how to keep their fucken clothes on?

Spoiler: A Barfy Comparison 🤮

 

[earlgrey]

View attachment 1974782

Hundreds of you, she said. We all know she must have received 10 messages tops, but she keeps pretending she interacts with her audience. Yeah, sure.

I wish we were warned more about these side effects. Are you not supposed to do your own research before making any decision? If only you could show some of common sense every once in a while.

I genuinely thought it was the safest non-hormonal option. Whether something might work for most people or not, there is always, always a risk percentage. But I wouldn’t be surprised if her thought was based on seeing 11:11 everyday or another f*cking sign from the Universe.

She didn't know the side effects and risks, yet thought she could post a video promoting it over all other contraception to her viewers?