Niomi Smart #54 I always blame the universe for my stupidity

[sydneybarrett]

Niomi's love life reminds me of the horse drawing meme people use for tv shows which declined in quality through seasons, in her case:

 

[sydneybarrett]

Okay I was curious so I googled it & found a bunch of his OF posts. I don't even know if I'm allowed to post them but if people were able to post Forky's ugly ass from Mauritius I guess it should be fine? Idk lol maybe I'll get suspended or something but tbh I'm more concerned about government monitoring my online activity who'll think I'm into marky butt butt's nudes..

Spoiler: when youtube money runs out

 

[coriander]

 

[cookiemunchmunch]

To add to the list of why Lordon is so shitty; he uses Comic Sans on his stories lol.

 

[LolitaBlah]

Hello my fellow tattlers Thread title by Mr.Mistoffelees

So the mess continues with our favorite non influenca, non diet restricted, girlfriend of some guy, nimbobs not so smart:

• She allegedly is not friends anymore with her long time bestie Charlotte : her recent comment about a toxic friend + not following each other on insta anymore
• She was interviewed by Lordon about her contraception experience and opinions, as a video in her channel. Yep, this really happened.
• She's pawfectly happy with her love.
• Nobody here is buying their bullshit.

This thread has been a whirlwind this year. We laughed together, been silly together, vomited together Forky has been a gift to this thread, never had more fun here then when she was with him. Lordon has been a nightmare and we need group therapy after every photo posted of him.

We've also been here for each other, for the ups and downs, we supported each other, we shed some tears for each other, babies, wedding, proposals, break ups, heart ache, loss of loved ones... we went through it all together. I love you all and wish you a happy ending of 2022

 

[Clover123]

I just find it a bit distasteful that they've gone there so they can live a holiday lifestyle and essentially do sweet f all for months off the back of cheap cost of living and low wages for workers, so they can afford a very carefree lifestyle while those who serve them are struggling to get by. Niomi has commented before on how positive and kind workers are out there (read deferential) and let's not forget when she and Forky left their restaurant table in an absolute state and joked about it. Does she not feel like she's exploiting a culture and becoming part of the problem? Rich foreigners are clearly treated very well out there while the government enacts invasive laws on their own citizens. That would make me feel very uneasy about going there.

 

[lookout]

I also can't believe that Nims has ended up here - her family and friends must be wondering what the hell is going on!
[/QUOTE]

Niomi with Joe - writes a cookbook, starts a skincare company, invited to speak at Buckingham Palace
Niomi with Forky - buys a tiny shed, spreads Covid, gets dropped by her management
Niomi with Lordon - dumps Charlotte, promotes sex toy, joins a Bali cult

The downward spiral continues

 

[aefterglow]

All this life coach talk only makes me think of that one Peep Show episode where Jeremy goes to a 1 week life coaching academy.

Had to make this.

 

[RunningAvocado]

The more I think about the iv the more annoyed I’m getting lol.
- Didn’t she criticise modern medicine like a few weeks ago?! Now she’s injecting vitamins?
- is it nurses who insert the needles? Are there rules and regulations about that in Bali like in the us and uk?
- how do you know that everything is sterile? Where are the vitamin cocktails mixed? What if you have an allergic reaction?
- vitamins we can’t store will just get peed out and injecting too much of fat soluble vitamins can be very dangerous and toxic. How do you know you’re getting a safe amount? Why are you paying so much just to pee it all out?

I do not understand people who don’t ask questions, be at least a little critical. You are letting someone INJECT something into your VEINS

 

[judgejohndeed]

Omg I just can’t believe that they’ve really fallen out. Like that’s her oldest, and quite possibly her ONLY true friend, that’s sad for Nims. Her life now resolves around Jamie with the weak chin.

Jamie reading this like ‘oh man, it’s not just my teeth, they don’t like my chin either’

 

[sydneybarrett]

I randomly saw that Caspar Lee (one of the Brit vlog squad members - or whatever they were called) got engaged.

I open the comments and guess who's the first one there:

I'd bet she hasn't spoken with Caspar for atleast 5 years but yeahh omG sUcH loVely neWsss!

So from that group: Zoe & Alfie have a child, Joe Sugg has been with that dancer Dianne for years, Tanya has a child, Jim has a child, Marcus has onlyfans & Niomi has lost her mind. Paahfect!

 

[sydneybarrett]

From what I've heard people can earn INSANE amounts of money on OF which is why more & more people are doing it (it's a new trend for a lot of youtubers, twitch streamers, instagram influencers & other kinds of 'online personalities'). But it seems they often get called out for charging people for basically posting slightly 'racier' instagram photos (no actual nudity like with Marcus).
It seems his main audience are gay men, I guess that's why he's suddenly 10% bisexual (?) & why he said he had sex with men.
And also it looks like he does send some personalized 'extra content' in dms

And I would like to clarify I am NOT 'subscribed' to his OF lol I got all this from simple googling.

 

[malino_]

God, this post made me cringe. Are you 12? “Omg look at me going shopping with my girlfriend teehee ”

Also, the feet 🫣 Maybe they’re trying to be all spiritual by “grounding” themselves and have stopped wearing shoes while out and about

 

[janedowe]

Ewww, Lordon confirms she’s trying on clothes, imagine - those disgusting black dirty, sandy feet going in and out of leggings? That go back on the rack?

And also ‘I brought my girlfriend shopping’ is just triggering for me. Not ‘we went shopping’ it’s like he’s giving her fucking permission to shop. Absolute creep.

 

[sydneybarrett]

Also, the person who wrote the book Niomi carried around last year "Manifest" is coming out with another book called "Manifest: Dive Deeper".

Manifest III: The Dive & the Deep
Manifest IV: 2 Deep to Dive
Manifest V: The Deepest Dive:Bali Drift

Anyways, I think the reason they're going back to Bali is 'cause Scamzilla can't earn money in London, the whole life coach life coaching other life coaches through his life coaching academy bullshit probably doesn't fly in London so he's going back to earn some rent money by organizing Shibari&Shrooms events with that friend who has three wives.
Who knows tho, maybe they do get engaged there but since they're going back to Bali my biggest question is: Will we see the return of the shanklet?!!

 

[iz10101]

That sober dance party Lordon posted… the absolute state of the DJ

Whole thing just looks like a load of privileged kids who forgot to come back after their gap year

 

[malino_]

I truly did not think this guy could look any worse…. Yet here we are!!!! #coolguyalert

 

[lcd77]

Slighlty out of topic and kinda personal, but I'm currently looking for an apartment and couldn't help but think of you guys and Nims when I came across this one (I hope I'm not breaking and privacy rules or anything)

 

[londongirl2001]

I just find it a bit distasteful that they've gone there so they can live a holiday lifestyle and essentially do sweet f all for months off the back of cheap cost of living and low wages for workers, so they can afford a very carefree lifestyle while those who serve them are struggling to get by. Niomi has commented before on how positive and kind workers are out there (read deferential) and let's not forget when she and Forky left their restaurant table in an absolute state and joked about it. Does she not feel like she's exploiting a culture and becoming part of the problem? Rich foreigners are clearly treated very well out there while the government enacts invasive laws on their own citizens. That would make me feel very uneasy about going there.

The whole Bali influencer scene makes me so mad. They use the low cost of living and food on the island to live this care free, rich kids without any responsibilities lifestyle and take awesome pics for Insta. They don't care about Indonesia or Indonesians at all, or have you seen Niomi and Lordon link any aid organizations after the earthquake in November? Or make any public comment about the new laws that restrict people's lives even more? If you claim Bali is your happy place and tell people you moved there, then yes, I kind of expect something like that, especially from a social media person like Niomi, with considerable reach. (Just to clarify, I don't think anyone who goes to a country for a two week holiday should be super knowledgeable about said country's politics or economy, I'm specifically talking about people like Niomi and Lordon)

 

[prive0505]

Body-weighted exercises? Truly revolutionary and never heard of. My God they are the definition of TWATS

‘training here is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before’ … It’s called calisthenics and it’s been around for decades you TWAT.

Notice how Jamie is so active on Instagram stories now that he’s back in his culty environment? He clearly felt so out of place in Kensington which explains why he constantly looked and dressed like a hobo. You can take the man out of the cult but you can’t take the cult out of the man…

If anything, this has put me off ever wanting to visit Bali. I genuinely get creeped out by seeing the type of friends and places Jamie associates himself with it’s like a place solely for people suffering from existential crises.