Niomi Smart #33 Vaccine expired, almost YouTube retired, we tattlers are just tired

[LolitaBlah]

Well isn't this the most active thread for the most boring person ever on Tattle?
Welcome to the 33rd hunger games, I mean Nimbicile's worst nightmare, I mean Niomi Smart's Tattle thread!

Thread title by your faithful servant, LE me, by 71 votes, very grateful to you all.
Extra special mention to the one and only @laplusheureuse96 Vaccine expired, questionably attired, always looking dull and tired, very close second with 55 votes
And with 42 votes, third place goes to @M@rkth3shark Niomi Smart #33: Vaccine's expired, "delete" button's tired, perhaps more magic crystals are required

So.. The dreaded moment.. The recap.. I prepared this as we’re going, and every time I added a new point I thought that it couldn’t get worse… But oh it did!

Oh man.. here we go:

• We discussed in the first 8 pages the one and only problem in the world, the tragic event that lasted the last 2 years.. nope not Covid. It's NioME's fu$$ing break up. Some comments were actually very nice and informative. Much appreciated
  
  
• Forky and Niomy went to a church event for Christmas and held a candle together. And posted it to their instagram stories because otherwise it never happened. And that's true love in 2021 between two very single friends who are forking and getting it done. You haters!!!
  
  
• She got sick. And took one day off. And felt angry about it. And made a whole insta post about it to inspire us to listen to our bodies. Terrina asked her in the comments if it was Covid. Her grandma.. And she kept posting sad posts about how sad it is to not run 35k because she's sick. And Brad disappeared during the whole thing. And my last brain cell just killed itself while I was writing this whole drama episode.
  
  
• The AMAHHHZING @sitkx is doing recaps of previous Nimdumb's vlogmas videos.. and it's litcheraly the funniest thing on tattle!! it makes this recap blush in comparison! The master of this thread title goes to you dear. Thank you for the sacrifice!
  
  
• She watched Lalaland and it gets her. every. single. time. I have absolutely litcherally no idea why? Do you Joey?
  
  
• Speaking of good old DJ.. Oh man.. it's seems like not only he is still a free man who can eat peanut butter whenever he wants, but it seems like he's still with Anna Banana. Can you imagine the drama in Nimsad's shed? I mean house? Sad songs, sad lyrics, drama drama... As Rachel Green once said "Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic!"
  
  
• Remember I said that she took one day off because she was sick? Well it turned to 2 days, then 3 and you guessed it.. she has fucking covid! the sweet @mg95 did the math and we think that, while sick, she's been in close contact with Forky, Charlotte, Big Tezza and Grandpa Ian, her cousin, her parents, younger sister, Charlotte and her party attendees, her tarot reader, the people at the retreat in Devon, her new friend with the dog.. But hey she's so grateful because it happened now and not during Christmas.. and ow she can't wait to go back to her normal social life, aka the 6am strolls in Joey's neighborhood and the weekend forking with you know who.
  
  
• Her comments gets worse guys because, as people started questioning her covid timing and lack of awareness, it seems that she got only one dose of the vaccine and she actually thinks that her « vaccine expired » that’s why she got COVID… No comment. I mean. I can't. Like.. NO.
  
  
• And because she has nothing else to do (her own words, not mine!), she has uploaded a video that nobody saw.. In a thread like this, that is SO on fire, the youtuber in question posts a video that we don't even discuss! I swear I don't even know what the title of the video is but hey... @sitkx will do us a recap next December!!
  
  
• It seems like the new symptoms of covid are blocking people on IG or replying with: I tested negative and followed the government guidelines.
  
  
  
  
  
• Covid or not covid, she always goes back to the one and only issue in her life. BEING HEARTBROKEN! So, Nimbicile keeps on insinuating that Joe cheated on her.. by eating peanut butter I guess? because that's cheating too for Niomi no? But seriously... What a dilemma. Please vote on the poll and give us you opinion about this matter that nobody cares about.

Well guys, I'm gonna follow Nimdim's own life advice and make this all about myself: I had my 3rd dose this afternoon and I can’t type anymore with the pain in my arm So I'm gonna stop here sorry guys!

Oh shit I almost forgot the best part:

Oh moon!

 

[DeviantMuch]

Before i forget, next thread title suggestion:

Niomi Smart #34 No mask in sight, can't quarantine right, fake dating forky out of spite

 

[Lionsden]

Out of curiosity - why do some of you think Anna isn't marriage material?

Yeah, I've been wondering about that too. I'm not an Anna fan at all, I often find her super showy and obnoxious. But to put women into categories like that is a very strange thing (I thought only men did that - this is the whore, this is the saint). Anna will be the right partner for someone. We don't know anything about her plans and dreams, or how she is in a relationship. Joey seems to be allowed to just want "something casual" right now, but is still considered a great catch (marriage material, great future dad) who will find his proper wife after sowing his wild oats with unworthy women. I thought we were over these double standards.

 

[Mable912]

I find it bizarre they are flouncing around, forking all over Europe and documenting it all, but not addressing if they are actually together or not? Are they happy with people speculating that they are fuck buddies? Nothing wrong with a fuck buddy of course, but that doesn’t exactly fit in with Niomi’s vibe, does it?

Maybe Bradley is the biggest fuckboy going, he knows Niomi wants a relationship but he doesn’t, hence why he/they haven’t “defined” it. Meanwhile he’s spinning her some nonsense behind the scenes;

Niomi: Brad, it would licherally be perfect if we could be an actual couple now? Maybe we could announce it in a vlog? It would licherally get so many views dahling
Brad: 🤌 Ye awight Niomi um see the fing is, we don’t need labels n shit cos we are doing great wivout ‘em innit Let’s not complicate it darlin’. Now fork me silly in our overpriced tin shed

 

[TheGlossy]

I'm not saying she should carry the world's burdens on her shoulders, but I find this display of wealth completely nauseating. The picture of those designer shopping bags inside the Jaguar is really distasteful when you think about the fact that the pandemic really impacted a lot of people out there. In the current circumstances, she should keep a low profile and be more sensible instead of plastering her wealth all over IG. It is both embarrassing and tone deaf.

I don't know how much charity work she actually does because I don't follow her religiously, but she should perhaps think of working with charities around this time of year, instead of playing material girl on IG. It's actually quite shocking she's turned into such a materialistic vapid individual shortly after retuning from India where I'm sure, she was confronted to real poverty in one capacity or another.

 

[mg95]

The pasta thing to me is just a more recent version of the 2010s pizza and burgers obsession. Thin women going on about how they love carby foods to be like "look at me - I'm relatable but don't need to try hard to look thin". See Jennifer Lawrence's entire career for example. And the Hadid sisters. Gigi has gone on Jimmy Fallon and literally eaten a burger with him as a whole segment. We've come a long way from Kate Moss' "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". As someone said above, it's part of the "cool" girl mystique. It's to contrast themselves against the stereotypes of women that are too shy to eat at parties and order salads on first dates. Anna's one of those "cool" girls. You can see it all over her instagram and the few videos we've seen of her. Loud party girl that can hang with the guys. Niomi thinks she's nailed it by just saying generically "I love food!" all the time but she gives herself away when she makes comments about "rolling out of quarantine" on a box of donuts. She's more scared of bread than she is of Covid.

And when Niomi posts about pasta, this is the portion size:

 

[slamvs27]

She looks full of filler.

She looks full of shit

 

[whatsever you]

This talk about cheating being okay, if it leads to romance shouldn't be applauded. IMO there's no reason to cheat, end the relationship you're in first. Not sure people would be as understanding if it happened to them.

 

[laplusheureuse96]

finally I know who he reminds me of:

 

[judgejohndeed]

Forky is so ugly to me. Sorry but I dont think he’s even conventionally attractive. He is the personification of fuck boy energy. Wtf is Dimbo thinking

 

[AnnaMel]

 

[judgejohndeed]

someone please smack me HARD, because I think Marcus is lowkey cute as shit I’ll see myself out

Not anymore he’s not this terrible taste in eyewear like Niomi is a real ‘chicken or the egg’ scenario isn’t it

 

[ECH]

Well there's the answer, they're off to the 'Cotwolds' straight away because god forbid she spend another second in London

 

[laplusheureuse96]

I’ve just begun listening to Dimbob’s latest podcast with Sisterhood Works.

So far:

• she referred to that comment she received a while back: “someone commented on my photo this morning saying 'you need to be more transparent with your diet because I only follow you because of the foods you used to have and if that’s changed I don’t want to follow you anymore.'“
• She then goes on to say that it’s such a “weird world” and that it makes her feel incredibly uneasy - “We’ve put people in a box and label people and label diets and almost define people based on the way they eat”
• Complains that the second she wants to “slightly relax it” or that when she’s on holiday and she’s not going to be a “100% strict vegan” people don’t want to follow her anymore.

I’m actually furious. She built a whole career on labeling herself as plant-based, defining herself based on the way she eats and writing a whole ass cook book that was strictly vegan. Now she’s seriously whining about why her followers want to know what’s up? And what did she expect? That every single person follows her because of her wonderful, fun personality? Not sure if I can get through the whole podcast.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I don’t blame Niomi for Joe losing his job or whatever the hell else went down with that but I’m actually sick of ‘Joe could’ve just said no, Joe could’ve just said he wants to eat something else’. This is how coercive and controlling behaviour is always excused, and while it is a gendered crime in the sense that generally men are more domestically abusive than women, telling men they should ‘just say no’ denies the reality that men are abused too. We would never say that a woman ‘should’ve just left’ or ‘should’ve just said no’ if a man behaved to her the way Niomi did to Joe. I’m sorry but her behaviour towards this guy - who is obviously laidback and so more easily to manipulate which I’m 1000% sure she picked up on - absolutely sickens me, and people excusing her for it because he ‘could’ve said no’ sickens me too.

 

[cookiemunchmunch]

Christmas present for Forky and Niomi - sorted. Paaahfect.

 

[Tea&Toast]

Nimbecile & Imbecile

 

[judgejohndeed]

You do, but Niomi is a law of her own.

You guyssss we can’t expect Niomi to wear a mask? Didn’t you know she literally just had a break up 18 months ago? Everyone has to #putthemselvesfirst and #justbeselfish be kind xx you don’t know what she’s going through! She is the first person to ever be dumped in the history of mankind

 

[lemonlime]

He may not be the sharpest tool in the box but he sure is a tool.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I find it quite weird she’s gone to see her grandma the second she’s ‘free’. Idk maybe just me but even if it’s 10 days I would still be cautious for a bit longer especially around older people who are more vulnerable. Obviously it’s Terrina’s risk to take but…not for me.