blurstoftimes
VIP Member
Maybe Joey has finally admitted the devastating truth - he doesn’t like smoothie bowls, not even in smoothie bowl weather
- Notice
This girl was so horrible to me at school, to the point where I had to go to counseling. Don't let her pathetic vegan facade fool you, not even the robot disguise. She's mean, controlling, petty and a total gaslighter.
It's taken me a few years to reconcile the witch I experienced with the influencer so many others see. She's always been very self obsessed and self important, even though there were richer kids than her at school. A lot of us are scared of speaking because we're in the minority but I'm speaking with a newspaper right now, hopefully her true face will be out for all to see soon. I have the receipts, the tea, the signed shirts, the physical and digital proof of harassment.
It's taken me a few years to reconcile the witch I experienced with the influencer so many others see. She's always been very self obsessed and self important, even though there were richer kids than her at school. A lot of us are scared of speaking because we're in the minority but I'm speaking with a newspaper right now, hopefully her true face will be out for all to see soon. I have the receipts, the tea, the signed shirts, the physical and digital proof of harassment.
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getawaywithit
VIP Member
There is always an obsession with infertility and pregnancy on these types of boards lol. Idk why. The idea that Niomi randomly went to get ”tested” for “fertility” in the middle of a pandemic and then was told she was 100% infertile lol and then fled to the countryside to do yoga and read British Vogue is really funny but the typical suggestion that always get floated and weirdly sticks around in these kind of situations. Always. Even if it comes out they broke up, trust me, people will be speculating it was because of the infertility.
Also if rich people are involved there is always speculation it had to do with a rich parent intervening or a prenup. But as you can see speculation has already managed to combine the infertility AND prenup stories together into one.
Also if rich people are involved there is always speculation it had to do with a rich parent intervening or a prenup. But as you can see speculation has already managed to combine the infertility AND prenup stories together into one.
OppositeFeature
Chatty Member
Joe probably had a sausage roll behind her back and she found out.
palmer
Chatty Member
Here's my theory:
I think the only reason Joe proposed in December was because of India. In all honesty, from what I could tell he never seemed that excited or ready to propose. I think he felt pressured, because Niomi very clearly had been wanting this for a while and she had now just agreed to move with him to to a foreign country. It also was going to make things easier for them in India. Being abroad as a non-married, non-engaged couple can be tricky if even just for legal purposes. The whole vibe of the engagement felt weird and rushed to me. It was like a last minute thing just a couple of weeks before moving. Plus he had been away on several weeks-long trips a couple of times and I think he also felt guilty for that to some extent. Without India, I don't believe for a second that he would have proposed at that time.
Anyway, come March 2020 and it turns out their 'big India move' has gone down the drain. In total, they were only there for a few weeks, which frankly seemed a little chaotic and messy with Niomi's refusing to settle on an apartment. The fact that she insisted they stayed in a hotel the whole time, and was being so difficult about committing to an apartment and furnishing it -- to me, that was her way of drawing things out because, at the end of the day, she didn't really want to accept this new reality of living permanently in India. She was trying to push the moment that this all became too 'real'.
So then they found themselves back in England, with no plans to go back to India. Joe apparently lost (or gave up?) the job. They both went into the lockdown together, stuck in that little cottage for a while, just the two of them. Niomi started going ham on the wedding planning, probably pressuring him to start making concrete plans and making decisions. I believe this is when Joe realized that he didn't really want this. The only reason he had proposed was because of India, and now there was no India. I think it really started to hit him what he had committed himself to, and he just didn't feel ready for this.
To me, one of the biggest giveaways is this whole 'moving in with Freddie' thing. As others have mentioned, it's pretty weird for an engaged couple, who has lived together for a while, to suddenly move in with a third person. If that was going to be a short term arrangement while they found a new place, maybe. But she mentioned they would be there for at least a year. By that time, they would likely be married already! So what were they going to do, get married one day and then go home to their shared apartment with Freddie as a newly wed couple? Weird as hell. But I think this move was calculated on Joe's part. I think he didn't want to commit to a new lease with Niomi because at this point he had realized he might not want to go through with things. He was slowly preparing the ground for his escape, so to speak.
At first I was skeptical, because these two are so fucking bland and dull I honestly didn't think either of them would have the guts to break things off, no matter how obvious it became that they might not be the best fit. I didn't think Joe would have it in him to pull the plug. BUT at this point I don't think there's any denying possible. Normally, Niomi is attached to the hip with Joe. Whenever he's not around, she will go on and on about how much she misses him and show us all the gifts he's sending her to make up for his absence (complete overcompensation btw). And when he IS around she will not give him a second to himself. She is completely obsessed with the guy. The fact that she was at home with her mom for a while, then came to London for one day to see her friends, and is now back in Brighton. With NO mention of Joe the whole time, despite her 'going through something'?? There's NO way he's still in the picture. She would've 100% made sure to show us how thoughtful Joe is to her, otherwise.
Plus, she is pulling all the classic post-breakup moves. She seems to be hanging out with anyone she can, every day. "Catching up" with all her girlfriends that she hasn't seen in a while, one by one. It really looks like she's trying hard to keep herself busy to get over the breakup...
In sum, while I did not expect this to happen now, I am actually not shocked and it really all makes sense when you think about it. If we are right, then I'm glad they've ended things before it was too late.
I think the only reason Joe proposed in December was because of India. In all honesty, from what I could tell he never seemed that excited or ready to propose. I think he felt pressured, because Niomi very clearly had been wanting this for a while and she had now just agreed to move with him to to a foreign country. It also was going to make things easier for them in India. Being abroad as a non-married, non-engaged couple can be tricky if even just for legal purposes. The whole vibe of the engagement felt weird and rushed to me. It was like a last minute thing just a couple of weeks before moving. Plus he had been away on several weeks-long trips a couple of times and I think he also felt guilty for that to some extent. Without India, I don't believe for a second that he would have proposed at that time.
Anyway, come March 2020 and it turns out their 'big India move' has gone down the drain. In total, they were only there for a few weeks, which frankly seemed a little chaotic and messy with Niomi's refusing to settle on an apartment. The fact that she insisted they stayed in a hotel the whole time, and was being so difficult about committing to an apartment and furnishing it -- to me, that was her way of drawing things out because, at the end of the day, she didn't really want to accept this new reality of living permanently in India. She was trying to push the moment that this all became too 'real'.
So then they found themselves back in England, with no plans to go back to India. Joe apparently lost (or gave up?) the job. They both went into the lockdown together, stuck in that little cottage for a while, just the two of them. Niomi started going ham on the wedding planning, probably pressuring him to start making concrete plans and making decisions. I believe this is when Joe realized that he didn't really want this. The only reason he had proposed was because of India, and now there was no India. I think it really started to hit him what he had committed himself to, and he just didn't feel ready for this.
To me, one of the biggest giveaways is this whole 'moving in with Freddie' thing. As others have mentioned, it's pretty weird for an engaged couple, who has lived together for a while, to suddenly move in with a third person. If that was going to be a short term arrangement while they found a new place, maybe. But she mentioned they would be there for at least a year. By that time, they would likely be married already! So what were they going to do, get married one day and then go home to their shared apartment with Freddie as a newly wed couple? Weird as hell. But I think this move was calculated on Joe's part. I think he didn't want to commit to a new lease with Niomi because at this point he had realized he might not want to go through with things. He was slowly preparing the ground for his escape, so to speak.
At first I was skeptical, because these two are so fucking bland and dull I honestly didn't think either of them would have the guts to break things off, no matter how obvious it became that they might not be the best fit. I didn't think Joe would have it in him to pull the plug. BUT at this point I don't think there's any denying possible. Normally, Niomi is attached to the hip with Joe. Whenever he's not around, she will go on and on about how much she misses him and show us all the gifts he's sending her to make up for his absence (complete overcompensation btw). And when he IS around she will not give him a second to himself. She is completely obsessed with the guy. The fact that she was at home with her mom for a while, then came to London for one day to see her friends, and is now back in Brighton. With NO mention of Joe the whole time, despite her 'going through something'?? There's NO way he's still in the picture. She would've 100% made sure to show us how thoughtful Joe is to her, otherwise.
Plus, she is pulling all the classic post-breakup moves. She seems to be hanging out with anyone she can, every day. "Catching up" with all her girlfriends that she hasn't seen in a while, one by one. It really looks like she's trying hard to keep herself busy to get over the breakup...
In sum, while I did not expect this to happen now, I am actually not shocked and it really all makes sense when you think about it. If we are right, then I'm glad they've ended things before it was too late.
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lilamay
VIP Member
Aha ok, how about this:
Niomi Smart #3 Trouble in paradise - did Joey flee?! We don't know yet but await the fennel tea!
getawaywithit
VIP Member
Welcome! Respectfully— I don’t mean this as an attack— I don’t agree it was too much to handle. Maybe if you’d just started dating someone and a bunch of shit happened it’d seem like your relationship never really got a chance. But they apparently considered themselves ready to take those vows and get married, for better or for worse. Marriage isn’t some cutesy thing meant for Pinterest that might take it easier on young, hot couples who ~seem besotted~, as everyone here says lol. It’s about vowing to face the storms of life together. It means you see the other person fully and are ready to accept them as your partner. You have NO IDEA what the next day of your life brings and that’s why marriage is so serious.
Something like moving to India is an adjustment, yes. If anything it probably cause Niomi to try to control her food and exercise more, maybe. But it’s important to remember that on all these ‘challenges’, both of them were given every privilege. They spent their ENTIRE STAY in India in a luxury hotel. As for COVID, literally everyone around the world... single, couples, married, family with babies or children, etc.... is or was in the same boat in terms of self isolating. And all couples just had to get through. But yet again Joe and Niomi were handed the best possible experience on a gold platter... a fully stocked little cabin of their own on private land and their family nearby. No financial worries at all. No children or even pets to care for. All the space to run around and be outside and others to shop for you and everything.
Also while it’s different now for different people, they got back to living their lives (dining out, socializing, moving back to London), a hell of a lot quicker than a lot of the world.
So if they couldn‘t handle that as a couple, it’s better to realize that now than try to take on life together.
Swipeupyouguys
VIP Member
Who doesn't enjoy being woken up at 6 am, ushered into the kitchen to be filmed and critiqued making smoothies.
Then a 10k run!
An ideal Saturday by anyones standards.
Did he fake that injury to sneek off for a fry up? Place your bets.
Then a 10k run!
An ideal Saturday by anyones standards.
Did he fake that injury to sneek off for a fry up? Place your bets.
New member here, hello 
I think I must be bored from the monotony of lockdown/working from home, but I have been just so intrigued by this whole thing given how sunny Niomi usually is and how vague she is being. She posted pics on instastories of some (strategically placed) books she had bought in Papersmiths this afternoon and looks like one of them is a 'Heartbreak' one - seems like it really is a breakup...??
I think I must be bored from the monotony of lockdown/working from home, but I have been just so intrigued by this whole thing given how sunny Niomi usually is and how vague she is being. She posted pics on instastories of some (strategically placed) books she had bought in Papersmiths this afternoon and looks like one of them is a 'Heartbreak' one - seems like it really is a breakup...??
QueenBW
VIP Member
Whenever I see this stuff about their families I feel the need to remind people that Joe's family's got money and status because of his dad's rugby career. They're not lords or earls or landed gentry. His dad has an OBE for his rugby career... Like David Beckham. You'd hardly called the Beckhams super refined and they've also gone to the royal weddings. His mom and dad had normal jobs. Joe went to Exeter, but Exeter is only a Russell Group uni since 2012; it's no Oxbridge. Can we stop acting like the Woodwards are royalty and the Smarts/Craigs are peasants, please? Niomi's influencer career is not all that different to Joe's dad charging exorbitant amounts for lame AF speeches.
(Edited to add the disclaimer that this is not to defend Niomi. It's just annoying to me to see this warped version of reality in which Joe is a Prince and Niomi is the lowest ring of the socioeconomic ladder).
Elle
VIP Member
TLDR / Recap
Niomi is as boring as ever.
The most 'exciting' thing to happen was a weird editing glitch in a video where she started talking and messed up her words so stopped and her face went completely emotionless but she forgot to cut it out.
Her diet is worryingly restrictive and it seems like she is dragging Joe down the same road.
She got weirdly passive aggressive about him eating some toast while she was preparing their SMOOTHIE BOWLS.
She got waaaaay too excited about the upcoming smoothie bowls and did a weird dance and song.
She also seemed annoyed at Joe when he didn't want a cup of herbal tea. "Wow. I'll just put the teabag back in the box then shall I."
She made herself a birthday cake...out of beetroot.
Her hairline seems to be receeding.
Her skin isn't as glowy as it normally is. Proves that the #gifted facials and treatments do a lot for her.
Boring.
It felt like it was time. Thanks @CheshireLove for the title suggestion, this seemed like a popular one!
Old thread: https://tattle.life/threads/niomi-smart-fake-vegan-selling-harmful-toxic-petrochemical-products.57/
Niomi is as boring as ever.
The most 'exciting' thing to happen was a weird editing glitch in a video where she started talking and messed up her words so stopped and her face went completely emotionless but she forgot to cut it out.
Her diet is worryingly restrictive and it seems like she is dragging Joe down the same road.
She got weirdly passive aggressive about him eating some toast while she was preparing their SMOOTHIE BOWLS.
She got waaaaay too excited about the upcoming smoothie bowls and did a weird dance and song.
She also seemed annoyed at Joe when he didn't want a cup of herbal tea. "Wow. I'll just put the teabag back in the box then shall I."
She made herself a birthday cake...out of beetroot.
Her hairline seems to be receeding.
Her skin isn't as glowy as it normally is. Proves that the #gifted facials and treatments do a lot for her.
Boring.
It felt like it was time. Thanks @CheshireLove for the title suggestion, this seemed like a popular one!
Old thread: https://tattle.life/threads/niomi-smart-fake-vegan-selling-harmful-toxic-petrochemical-products.57/
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Louise123
VIP Member
It’s probably her local health food shop ran out of pea milk or joey was caught eating a mars bar!
getawaywithit
VIP Member
Damn maybe Joe really did take a second serving of dinner.
CheshireLove
VIP Member
I’m just remembering watching the proposal vlog and seeing the tears in her eyes at how happy she was, that wasn’t so long ago.
For all her faults, I do feel for her and don’t think she is a bad person.bottie1000
Active member
I do really feel for the girl. Despite her control issues around food, and boring lifestyle she was harmless, if a bit deluded. But to go from being proposed to, moving to India, moving back after a few weeks, and then having to deal with an embarrassing public breakup when you're 28 years old is hard for anyone. She seemed to really love him, and if the case is he has broken up with her, its incredibly cruel regardless, as either he's been thinking about it for a while (how can you watch someone redecorate your flat and ask people to be bridesmaids for your wedding knowing you were going to end it) OR he's seemingly decided in the space of 2 weeks its over, which to me is a very rash quick decision to make about someone who only a few weeks ago you were willing to spend the rest of your life with.
MadeYouACar
Member
Something fishy is going on for sure.
*I mean vegan fish alternative.
*I mean vegan fish alternative.
barrowsarah
New member
Fennel tea gate was the beginning of the end
Totally agree with the above! I’ve seen this before with another girl I went to uni with who was really beautiful and seemingly perfect, but living a perfect life isn’t a sustainable reality. Life is messy and relationships aren’t perfect (I feel like the fact everything appeared perfect is such an alarm bell). It always felt like she was trying soo hard to make him seem like Prince Charming, the gifts etc.. it was all just too much! And of course he would have played into it because she is gorgeous and worships him and no doubt he was really in love with her/the idea of her.
But after a couple of years you just want to be with someone who makes you laugh and who you can lie on the sofa eating a gross takeaway with. Not someone who forcefeeds you perfectly proportioned quinoa with a cacao nib surprise.
But after a couple of years you just want to be with someone who makes you laugh and who you can lie on the sofa eating a gross takeaway with. Not someone who forcefeeds you perfectly proportioned quinoa with a cacao nib surprise.
QueenBW
VIP Member
If I were Freddy, I'd hunker down and make Niomi's life impossible. I'd bring giant cuts of meat and cook them every night in her vegan-only pots and pans, drink and eat all of her food and leave only animal products. Rearrange every piece of furniture she moves. Bring home all my mates to drink and lounge around eating Meat Lovers pizza...
Because, come on. I doubt the apartment is only Joe's. I don't know what Freddy does for a living, but it's not like Joe was in the pinnacle of a super high paying career. Sure, he modeled when he was young but I doubt it was enough to buy an apartment. So his parents must have helped with the down payment or something. Why they didn't do the same for Freddy, that I don't understand. Maybe they thought the brothers could be brotherly and share. They didn't count on Princess Niomi and her overinflated ego saying that Freddy should be "very grateful" to his brother, as if he were some sort of pauper receiving scraps from Magnanimous King Joe.
Because, come on. I doubt the apartment is only Joe's. I don't know what Freddy does for a living, but it's not like Joe was in the pinnacle of a super high paying career. Sure, he modeled when he was young but I doubt it was enough to buy an apartment. So his parents must have helped with the down payment or something. Why they didn't do the same for Freddy, that I don't understand. Maybe they thought the brothers could be brotherly and share. They didn't count on Princess Niomi and her overinflated ego saying that Freddy should be "very grateful" to his brother, as if he were some sort of pauper receiving scraps from Magnanimous King Joe.