New baby and post birth advice #66

[lilykestrel]

Why is husband being on annual leave harder work than when he's not? Left Kestrelbaby with him for max 45 mins, probably actually 30 mins, while I packed Vinted sales, usually I do it in the living room with KB grooving on his playmat and he's happy enough, maybe a bit tetchy towards the end. Return to a husband doing the thousand yard stare into the middle distance and complaining he feels ill because of the noise (someone's honing their Pterodactyl Squawk atm)
It's just so frustrating and I'm half joking and also feel like a rotter but also at the same time it's like ... suck it up? It feels like 80% of the time when I hand the baby over for an hour it ends with him getting the hump because he's overstimulated and I get it's hard work but also the reason I get it is because I'm doing it too?

 

[anything at all]

The days are weirdly harder when the other half is around isn’t it !!

I actually told my husband to not take the day off last week when I was ill because I knew it would actually make the day harder not easier

 

[ahtisyourself]

The house is somehow messier too when my partner is here, even though there’s two of us to manage the load.

 

[opintionatedperson]

The days are weirdly harder when the other half is around isn’t it !!

I actually told my husband to not take the day off last week when I was ill because I knew it would actually make the day harder not easier

They are worse than the children I was nearly jumping for joy when he went back to work after taking two weeks when baby was born. He's off again for two weeks at the end of the month, so I'm just thinking of jobs he can be doing around the house

 

[amarantine]

My mum has always said she doesn’t see the point of men being involved with babies (even though she and my dad have a perfectly normal relationship!) and that they are a waste of space unless they do what they are told my friend is forever annoyed with her other half trying to “help” because he either sulks, doesn’t do it right, tries to suggest what they should be doing but doesn’t do it, or overstimulates the baby…I feel like this is a universal thing

 

[Thatsnotmyname123]

Same!

My husband was off for 5 weeks after the birth. Then he was in the office full time for 2 months, it was hard at first but once I was in the swing of things it was good. Just had to put baby in a carrier, chair or on the floor while I got stuff done.

Now he is home again, I think it’s because I expect him to help and when he doesn’t or does a crap job (baby or just general house bits), it drives me nuts!

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

We’ve had a bit of a crappy time long story short but mr muff was made redundant about 2 weeks before I gave birth with no payout. He just started a new role today (I didn’t want to jinx anything as it’s just been an awful time our savings are now gone and all of our plans up in the air). I so don’t mean this as showing off or bragging but he’s brilliant when he’s home. He looked after lunch and dinners and the planning of food shops so I could concentrate on baby muff. When he wasn’t on calls or in interviews he would do the school run and take baby muff so I could sit in silence for a bit. Every night he cleans down the kitchen ready for the morning and he makes us all breakfast and did so today before he trotted off to work. I hope young muff is that and more as a partner. But for balance - he bloody loves leaving cupboards/drawers open and that drives me MAD

 

[anything at all]

We’ve had a bit of a crappy time long story short but mr muff was made redundant about 2 weeks before I gave birth with no payout. He just started a new role today (I didn’t want to jinx anything as it’s just been an awful time our savings are now gone and all of our plans up in the air). I so don’t mean this as showing off or bragging but he’s brilliant when he’s home. He looked after lunch and dinners and the planning of food shops so I could concentrate on baby muff. When he wasn’t on calls or in interviews he would do the school run and take baby muff so I could sit in silence for a bit. Every night he cleans down the kitchen ready for the morning and he makes us all breakfast and did so today before he trotted off to work. I hope young muff is that and more as a partner. But for balance - he bloody loves leaving cupboards/drawers open and that drives me MAD

The way mine leaves rubbish on the side at night instead of putting it in the bin!!
I asked him about it once and he said he was worried the cupboard door would wake the kids up
Doesn’t stop you going through the cupboards for snacks though??

 

[opintionatedperson]

Im a devil for leaving cupboard doors open so I'm on the hubby's side..

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

We’ve had a bit of a crappy time long story short but mr muff was made redundant about 2 weeks before I gave birth with no payout. He just started a new role today (I didn’t want to jinx anything as it’s just been an awful time our savings are now gone and all of our plans up in the air). I so don’t mean this as showing off or bragging but he’s brilliant when he’s home. He looked after lunch and dinners and the planning of food shops so I could concentrate on baby muff. When he wasn’t on calls or in interviews he would do the school run and take baby muff so I could sit in silence for a bit. Every night he cleans down the kitchen ready for the morning and he makes us all breakfast and did so today before he trotted off to work. I hope young muff is that and more as a partner. But for balance - he bloody loves leaving cupboards/drawers open and that drives me MAD

Congrats to MrMuff on the new job! I’ve been wondering but haven’t wanted to ask. He sounds like a real gem MrDN is similar. He doesn’t leave cupboards or drawers open but will randomly do something weird and annoying just to balance everything out!

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Im a devil for leaving cupboard doors open so I'm on the hubby's side..

 

[amarantine]

MrA honestly varies in helpfulness I’ll be back home properly soon so will report back, but before it all kicked off he would do the cooking, take BabyA in the carrier for a couple of hours in the evening and clean the kitchen whilst doing so, if I wanted help in the night I would wake him, but also never does the laundry or cleans the bathrooms and his office is horrendous because he never puts clothes away. But who knows what he will be like when I’m home later this month. His job takes him away a lot too, which it didn’t before when I was at home because he’d only just started it. Looking forward to moving back but worried how it will impact BabyA as he seems really settled and happy at the moment!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

MrA honestly varies in helpfulness I’ll be back home properly soon so will report back, but before it all kicked off he would do the cooking, take BabyA in the carrier for a couple of hours in the evening and clean the kitchen whilst doing so, if I wanted help in the night I would wake him, but also never does the laundry or cleans the bathrooms and his office is horrendous because he never puts clothes away. But who knows what he will be like when I’m home later this month. His job takes him away a lot too, which it didn’t before when I was at home because he’d only just started it. Looking forward to moving back but worried how it will impact BabyA as he seems really settled and happy at the moment!

I really hope the move back goes well for all of you hopefully BabyA will be really adaptable to a change

 

[Folkevermore]

Mr Folky is very helpful luckily. The problem is, he’s too helpful. I went back to work three months ago and he took shared parental leave for three months and now baby folky is a total daddies girl 🫠

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Mr Folky is very helpful luckily. The problem is, he’s too helpful. I went back to work three months ago and he took shared parental leave for three months and now baby folky is a total daddies girl 🫠

Traitorous!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

Built BabyDrag’s cot today. Much later than I expected to (and he’s not quite outgrown his crib yet) but wow, -I’m- not ready. Time is flying and dragging simultaneously.

 

[Bec3007]

I love when I witch and moan to hubby that the baby is being difficult and then he gets home and baby is an angel who just sleeps Why do they do this

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Built BabyDrag’s cot today. Much later than I expected to (and he’s not quite outgrown his crib yet) but wow, -I’m- not ready. Time is flying and dragging simultaneously.

It’s going horrifically fast this time. Baby muff is a slice of pure joy (when she sleeps well…) but is now very mobile and just lifts herself to standing so we’re having to constantly move stuff from the coffee table, side tables, bedside tables. She has the most wonderful face and I just want to smoosh her

 

[amarantine]

I really hope the move back goes well for all of you hopefully BabyA will be really adaptable to a change

I really hope so, his sleep has settled (for now, I know it won’t always be like this) at least a bit, he’s so chatty and confident now. He loves his daddy as we’ve still been seeing him lots but he’s so used to MotherA and FatherA being around I’m not sure how he’ll cope. We do only live 5 mins away though so hopefully it won’t feel much different! I think I’ll miss being able to just hand BabyA over if he’s being a handful as at least one of them is usually around! Mum still works and Dad decided in his wisdom at age 71 that he’d do a PhD but between them I can usually find time to wash my hair or go to the loo!

 

[opintionatedperson]

life can be so incredibly cruel. I'm awake near my sleepy baby who's 3 months who is a dream, they are a dream after a rough start he's honestly slotted right in.
I unfortunately lost my mother unexpectedly a few weeks ago, everything feels heavy and I'm trying my best to enjoy my baby but by God it's hard.. it's these moments, quiet moments are the hardest when I've time to think.
I'm not looking for advice I just needed to get it off my chest that life can be so tit