New baby and post birth advice #39 Soupless Soul Sistas

[jackolantern]

Finally had our dietitian appointment and she was so lovely and said how well we have done and Tommy is absolutely thriving thanks to that, despite pretty much everyone in the system failing us and giving us no support God it makes the world of difference when you have someone who actually listens to you and is in your corner instead of against you. She's pushing to get us the bloods, is keeping an open referral in case we need her for anything at all and is starting to help us through the milk ladder. All that in 10 minutes versus nothing in the past 10 months. It's true what they say about only taking that one person, just bloody awful it's so hard to find them for most

I realised something really important that I hadn't before, she told me how well I'd done with pumping for 6 months and then managing to switch to breastfeeding, acknowledged that it's very rare you can make that switch and I did it all alone. I felt so fucking seen that even though I already knew how worth it it was for me and Tommy, someone else was proud of me too. And it got me to thinking, how rare it is that anyone actually tells us we are doing a good job and how much you really need to hear it.

So mamas, you are ALL fucking boss women, I love our Tattle family and I am so proud of you all. The love and kindness you give your babies, no matter how fucking hard it gets and how much we all think we can't do it, we always show up and we always do the absolute best we can for our babes. I hear you and I see you, you are AMAZING. And my god, your little ones know it.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I've just told Mr TY he needs to leave.
I can't do this anymore. Every night I'm up with either 1 or both twins for 4 plus hours. I get an hours sleep if I'm lucky. Then I need to be up to do the school run. He does absolutely nothing around the house anymore when he can be arsed to be at home.
I'm sick of it. I'm so exhausted he brings absolutely no support. There's absolutely no point in being in a relationship with him.

 

[oh.carolina]

Hi all, I’ve been lurking on this thread and the pregnancy one for a while now but didn’t think I’d be introducing myself so soon.
My waters broke last week at 33+3. I stayed a couple of nights in hospital but was given the all clear and was hoping I could last until 37 wks . However, baby girl decided to make her appearance on Sunday at 34+1. Her Uncle’s birthday. Everything happened pretty fast (so no time for anything but gas and air for a forceps delivery and episiotomy ).
I was amazed that despite being so early and tiny she was able to stay with me and we’d both just need treatment for an infection. So sad seeing a canula in her little arm though.
However since then we’ve had to deal with jaundice and phototherapy treatment, weight loss over 10% and the struggles of trying to follow a feeding plan with a pre term who just wants to sleep. It seemed like we were out of the woods today and she’d be coming home but they want to monitor her jaundice levels again.
Sorry for such a negative first post. I love her so much and she’s so perfect but I’m just so upset and worried for her. Part of me is aching to go home with but the other part of me is scared of having to monitor her myself, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and could miss signs of her getting poorly again.
It’s been such a surreal week. I’ve cried about 50 times a day with happiness and sadness.
the husband has made the situation even more traumatic but that’s probably a story for another post.

 

[Belle Amie]

Just had a phone call the job I was supposed to start in January now isn’t taking me on due to the economy and lack of leads. What the fuck do I do I was supposed to start in 2 weeks, we have nursery to pay for and I can’t get any benefit help cause of my OHs pay.
So much fun days before Christmas

 

[I’mThankyou_]

@I’mThankyou_ I am actually raging that he did leave the house. I know you told him to, but he shouldn’t have bloody done it. That’s what sofas are for.

He didn't want too. I made him
I was so angry I was getting myself into a state and I was bubbling over and I don't want the kids in that environment. Plus I may of stabbed him if he hadn't of gotten out of my sight


I have just got home from work, and despite the fact A&E is falling to pieces everywhere, I forgot how much I missed it. I ended up with my old mentor. I've had the time off my life. I'm exhausted and of course Mr TY is asleep and fuck all has been done, but I am full of life & I truly enjoyed myself today

 

[jackolantern]

Had our summary letter of our appointment through with the dietitian today and she has single handedly SASSED THE FUCK OUT of SCBU (not during his care, most of the nurses were wonderful but mainly after with discharge issues), the HV, his GP and the Paediatrician for how much they've fucked us around and let Tommy down this past 10 months. I was reading it like

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I was the worst mum this morning twin 1 woke at 6 and was crying and I slept through it, the 10yo heard her came into our room and settled her and she went back down for another hour till twin 2 woke up.
I don’t deserve this boy at all he was heaven sent

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

OK so tonight I snapped. Baby refused all food and milk from lunchtime onwards and just grizzled constantly. KW woken up 20 mins before he needed to leave for work this afternoon so I got no break and we barely saw him, then after he left baby o had an absolute meltdown and we both spent an hour sobbing.

My MH has been on a downward spiral since September time but I’ve kept pushing through and pushing through and I just can’t. The last 6 weeks I’ve not even showered or brushed me teeth except for the once a week I go to the office. I haven’t eaten dinner in 2 weeks and this week I’ve been asleep by 9pm. I have nothing left to give.

So I’ve written down everything and left it for KW to read when he gets in. I physically cannot sit in front of someone and talk about my feelings - I either shut down or just get overwhelmed and cry and then I don’t explain anything properly. But we do have a rule about not arguing or having difficult conversations via text when one person is at work. So I’ve written 2 sides of A4 and I guess I’ll have to see if it makes any difference.

 

[Author123]

Finally had our dietitian appointment and she was so lovely and said how well we have done and Tommy is absolutely thriving thanks to that, despite pretty much everyone in the system failing us and giving us no support God it makes the world of difference when you have someone who actually listens to you and is in your corner instead of against you. She's pushing to get us the bloods, is keeping an open referral in case we need her for anything at all and is starting to help us through the milk ladder. All that in 10 minutes versus nothing in the past 10 months. It's true what they say about only taking that one person, just bloody awful it's so hard to find them for most

I realised something really important that I hadn't before, she told me how well I'd done with pumping for 6 months and then managing to switch to breastfeeding, acknowledged that it's very rare you can make that switch and I did it all alone. I felt so fucking seen that even though I already knew how worth it it was for me and Tommy, someone else was proud of me too. And it got me to thinking, how rare it is that anyone actually tells us we are doing a good job and how much you really need to hear it.

So mamas, you are ALL fucking boss women, I love our Tattle family and I am so proud of you all. The love and kindness you give your babies, no matter how fucking hard it gets and how much we all think we can't do it, we always show up and we always do the absolute best we can for our babes. I hear you and I see you, you are AMAZING. And my god, your little ones know it.

I’ve never met any of you lovely ladies and never knowingly will, but I feel so invested in hearing how your little ones are doing so it’s absolutely lovely to hear good news like this! It’s really given me a feel good feeling hearing about Tommys progress, just like T2s efforts the other day to stand

I never used to understand how people got catfished online in relationships on the internet but if you lot are a bunch of truckers with beer bellies living in North America then you got me hook line and sinker, like the fish on the cake yesterday

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

Going off the standards on this thread, I think that's the safest bet tbh hun x

I once joined ‘bake club’ at work and made a batch of biscuits on my first week - our CEO tried one and spent the day bleating on about how they were the best ginger snaps he’d had. I hadn’t the heart to tell him there was 0 ginger in them as they were meant to be choc chip cookies.

 

[Chrisxo]

Baby slept 12:30-6:30!! Is this probably a one off fluke? Yes do I feel like a new woman? Yes

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Oh ladies, honestly thank you. I just needed to vent. I was mid tears when I wrote it. Last night was truly the straw that broke the camels back. I've been so tired recently and I've been fighting this bug that's been going round since October and it's just not letting up because I'm so run down. I was so anxious last night as I have my bank shift this afternoon & he knew it.
His only response was he works hard for his family, which I don't dispute, but so do I. He needs his sleep for work .

He was so amazing when they were first born, lately he just doesn't give a shit & he's become so selfish.

Normally I just crack on, I chose to stay home, I chose to give up work, I know the bulk is on me. But I'm trying to find me again, I'd lost myself for a while and it got to a point I was becoming scared to leave the house so to just be an utterly lazy pig the night before I was working, knowing I don't particularly like being away from the twins as it intensifies my intrusive thoughts & being back working in a medical setting for the first time since they were born, I just needed him to leave and never come back.

He left & went and stayed in my dads spare room as my dad's away, I hope when he comes back later so I can leave for work, he comes back with a better attitude.

 

[jackolantern]

Bloods were absolutely horrific. He screamed his little heart out and I’m a fucking mess. He ofcourse was totally fine the second we were out but that’s me ruined for the next week It was completely blood curdling, never heard anything like it. It wasn’t even the bloods either, it was me holding him the stupid way they needed and he hates being restrained. Nerves shot to fucking shit

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

When you realise it’s not homemade…

 

[calmyourritas]

I’m laughing so much cos this morning I posted like “oh me and the KW don’t argue at all really!” and then tonight we have had the mother of all arguments because he’s a complete and utter arsehole

 

[miss_americana]

It’s infinitely better than Finch’s fondant work!

This is the ‘golf course’ cake I made for Mr A’s 30th

 

[jackolantern]

The proof of the pudding cake will have to wait till Tommy's birthday but I will give you a related laugh, these were supposed to be rock buns, forgot to put the fucking flour in didn't I

 

[Motherofpugs]

Hiya ladies, I’m a bit late in moving over to this thread from the pregnancy one. Baby boy number 2 was born on the 22nd November - lovely home birth couldn’t have gone smoother. He was a big baby - 9lb8oz and absolutely gorgeous. He’s been a dream baby so far honestly.

My almost 3 year old on the other hand DEAR LORD it’s like he’s transformed into Tasmanian devil. I know big feelings and all that but fuck me I was not prepared for the extent of it.

 

[Belle Amie]

Finally had our dietitian appointment and she was so lovely and said how well we have done and Tommy is absolutely thriving thanks to that, despite pretty much everyone in the system failing us and giving us no support God it makes the world of difference when you have someone who actually listens to you and is in your corner instead of against you. She's pushing to get us the bloods, is keeping an open referral in case we need her for anything at all and is starting to help us through the milk ladder. All that in 10 minutes versus nothing in the past 10 months. It's true what they say about only taking that one person, just bloody awful it's so hard to find them for most

I realised something really important that I hadn't before, she told me how well I'd done with pumping for 6 months and then managing to switch to breastfeeding, acknowledged that it's very rare you can make that switch and I did it all alone. I felt so fucking seen that even though I already knew how worth it it was for me and Tommy, someone else was proud of me too. And it got me to thinking, how rare it is that anyone actually tells us we are doing a good job and how much you really need to hear it.

So mamas, you are ALL fucking boss women, I love our Tattle family and I am so proud of you all. The love and kindness you give your babies, no matter how fucking hard it gets and how much we all think we can't do it, we always show up and we always do the absolute best we can for our babes. I hear you and I see you, you are AMAZING. And my god, your little ones know it.

This has made me SO happy! I’m so proud of you and Tommy even though that probably means nothing from a random on the internet. You’ve worked so hard even with our shit services and it’s really paid off for you.

I hope you know now how amazing you are! Any need for your last bits almost sobbing in Tesco cafe here!

Ps came for food before baby Bs first dentist appointment and I’m breastfeeding him in public on my own for the first time ever. I’m hid in the corner but proud of me

 

[stardust1]

This was my attempt at a bear..