New baby and post birth advice #23 Too hot to parent

[calmyourritas]

We are home I’ve been crying for about 3 hours I just can’t believe this is real

Now I’m staring at her in the Moses basket thinking… wtf do I do now?!

 

[Midgettree]

Ok, so I’ve decided I’m becoming a bit weird. I have been lurking on this thread, and pregnancy thread before that since I got my positive test. My baby is now 6 months, so safe to say it’s been a while I’m so invested in all of your lives, particularly those of you who have been having a tough time recently and then realised that is a bit odd when you don’t even know I exist, so… Hello! Mum of a 3 year old girl and the aforementioned 6 month old boy. Have had a bit of tough time this time around with a CMPA very clingy baby and reading these threads has really helped me so thank you all!
@calmyourritas so glad to hear you are home!

 

[a.pain]

Same

I have a four year old girl and i don’t think it’s quite as bad as boys but they still touch themselves she sticks her hand in her pants and scratches and pokes about all the time. When she’s naked she sometimes spreads herself out for a good look between her legs I know they need to explore but man it’s uncomfortable.
Once I thought I saw her put a small paw patrol pup up her vagina and was like ohhh my bloody god I’m going to have to go digging. She’s going to say something at nursery and I’m going to be arrested for child molesting. Luckily she’d just popped it between the labia and it fell out that poor pup went in the bin

 

[bottombanana]

So I did the really mature thing and went to bed then messaged him angrily from bed telling him what an arsehole he is etc. I also added in that his dinner wouldn’t be cooked when he gets in tomorrow and the washing not done because I wouldn’t have time. I then added that I would be going straight to bed when the kids do so I wouldn’t be cooking at all, effectively a hunger strike, and suddenly he’s taken the afternoon off to “spend more time with us”
Thanks for all the advice - I hate men but I love you guys.

ETA: imagine your husband talking about how difficult his day was going to be and your contribution and problem solving idea was for them to cook everyone’s dinner before they walk 6 miles. Men. Seriously. The audacity

 

[I’mThankyou_]

It's discharge meeting day today!

 

[bottombanana]

I’m so angry. My blood is boiling. I’ve got the baby’s 9-12 month review tomorrow afternoon, I know I don’t have to go but he’s not meeting all his milestones so I’d rather go in case he needs some extra support and they can pick it up sooner or whatever. My husband has our only car all week for work and because of the time of the appointment I can’t get the bus in so I have to walk an hour to get to the appointment then the same back. 2 hours pushing the baby who is always crying and lugging a toddler on a buggy board through fucking rocky paths because my partner won’t leave work a couple of hours early to get us there. So what could be a 5 minute drive is over a fucking hour and his response was “you should be better prepared, maybe cook their dinner before you go so it’ll be ready when you get back”. Wow thanks for that pal. Absolute fucking dickhead. Why is it that because I’m the mum I have to juggle 1000 things just to make everyone else’s life easier while simultaneously making my own harder

 

[PrincessShark]

I think my knobwaffle wins.
Although I’m sure it’s bordering/is abuse now.

he’s been saying I need some time for me, to get back to the gym or de stress a few times a week.
3 times I’ve been to the gym for less than an hour, and the whole time he bombards me with messages, telling me BabyShark is screaming (she takes a bottle fine!), every few minutes he’s trying to ring me. Wanting me to come home etc. I’m annoyed as I don’t ring him every time the baby cries, he’s got 4 kids his not new to this!
Ive told him to leave and I don’t want him in the house.

I don’t even feel sad about asking him to leave, because I stood by him through his addictions and job losses, I financially supported us for years. I think I emotionally checked out a while ago.
I don’t know how I should be feeling but right now I’ve got BabyShark and 7 year old in bed with me.

 

[miaaaa]

@I'mThankyou_ thinking of you and your lovely family I feel like I say this all the time but my lorddddd I was so unprepared for how chaotic life with 3 is. Had my little girls sports day yesterday, she's 7 and I had the toddler and baby with me solo as he couldn't get the time off of work.I'm faffing with the baby trying to get him to feed and settle while trying to watch the 7 year old, I look up from feeding as all I can hear is laughing from the crowd and people going "awww look at the baby!!" and low and behold it's my bloody toddler who's decided he wants to do the race and he's halfway up the field before I'd even noticed . Luckily another lovely mum offered to watch Arnie while I pelted after him, but honestly, it's mad and right now the idea of returning to work gives me great joy

 

[calmyourritas]

Happy birthday @LongishCat !

The hospital just said if baby Rita continues as she has the past few days, we will be able to come home either tomorrow or Monday! I am trying not to get too excited but I’m just so happy I could cry

 

[miss_americana]

Today has been such a rough day- I need to unload.
Went in for my last KIT day before going back next Wednesday (weird day to go back but literally HAVE to go back then because of Mat leave starting early- premature baby problems) and I wasn’t missing her first birthday. Had a shitty stressful day and got to go back this Wednesday for a welcome evening for parents. Baby L did her morning nap with my MIL fine but would not sleep this afternoon at all . So I was trying to work whilst getting frantic texts about what to do. She didn’t go to sleep until we did early bedtime at 6pm and she’d been up since 10:30. I get all the blame put on me for her not napping because we contact nap and I obviously should have stopped this and had it sorted before I was going back to work. She wasn’t even bothered when I got home but for daddy it’s all smiles and excitement when he’s been out at work. Whilst at work all my friends were saying to my mat cover how much they’ll miss her and planning their night out for her leaving next week which I’ve not been invited to and I felt so rubbish about that I had to go and have a little cry in the loo. Today has just made me so much more anxious and upset about going back than I already was.
Sorry for the rant- knobwaffle doesn’t understand and is on team- you’ve spoilt the baby and everyone goes back to work- you’ll be fine

 

[Chickenandgravy]

So knobwaffle said to me last night that we are basically just housemates (which is true to be fair) but basically if nothing changes its time to call it quits. The main reason is because I now work Friday nights and Sunday (12 hours both days) so my weekend is a write off and he has his 2 other kids and hannah that full time so doesn't get a break and we don't see each other because he works during the week.
I had to beg for this shift so hannah didn't need to go to nursery and at the time he agreed and now he's thrown this spanner in the works. Genuinely don't know if my work will help me out,or not but I'm an absolute mess today my manager is off for 2 weeks then I'm off for 2 weeks so I'm going to have this hanging over me for the next month.
A lot of the time because hannah doesn't sleep I just feel like I'm in survival mode

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

Happy Day of the knobwaffles everyone

 

[Trombolese]

I had one of these women the other day. Apparently her baby was talking sentences at 6 months old. 🥱

i went to a few baby massage classes when baby T was about 2 months old, all the babies in there were around the same age and one woman told the whole class that her baby had said their first word, the teacher looked shocked and asked her what word the baby said and the mum genuinely said “agoo”

 

[I’mThankyou_]

It's the random errections for me....
First time mum to boys, have fun.
The boy, aged 5 told me top of his voice in the middle of Asda, "MUM MY WLLIES GONE REALLY HARD BECAUSE THE TROLLY IS BUMPY"
I didn't know it was a thing, I was mortified, I thought he was broken I rang my mum panicking and she told me my brother used to be the same, only his was if he got hold of something really silky.

Boys are really fucking weird

 

[jackolantern]

Just to say she’s over it now, it was when she was a toddler. My friend said she’d look in the mirror and the wee girl would be bright red in the face having a jolly old time with herself

I mean fair play to the lass, learning to provide for herself from day one saves her from a lifetime of disappointment with knobwaffles who can’t find the spot

 

[Definitelyme]

Just for a bit of balance my friend's daughter used to fiddle with herself in the car seat until (and these are my friend's words, not mine) “she was panting” which is wholly more horrific than a wee tug on the wee man I think!

 

[WhatABore]

My son is 7 and the random erections are still a thing. He can be sat doing nothing and I hear ‘muuuum my willys gone big again’. Despite me telling him he doesn’t NEED to tell me, he insists. And those middle of the night nappy changes when he was little, take his nappy off and boom there it is. Stiffy.

I tried reassuring my son when he panicked about it a few years ago by saying it happens to all boys.
He went to school the next day and his teacher asked if she could have a word.
She said that he'd gone up to several teachers and told them that his Dad's willy gets hard and big like his

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Would like to nominate my partner for knobwaffle of the week. Promised me I would get a long lie today (first in ageeeees) and won't get one tomorrow because I'm working 12 hours from 8-8. But who ended up so smashed last night that he didn't come to bed till 3am (hannah gets up at 6am on the dot), so guess who, yet again, is being the only parent

 

[Thecolourrainbow]

Hi everyone! Recently graduated from the pregnancy thread. I had my little girl this week via c section. She's now a few days old and we're recovering well at home. Surviving on little sleep but she makes it all worth it! Looking forward to watching and joining this thread as I have so much to learn about motherhood!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

So glad you are all able to be together now And I hope you guys have had the time you need to talk through all those things you’ve been shouldering alone. How long can he stay?

As it stands he's got 4 weeks, we're trying to fight for longer and see if he can be home based again!
We were a bit selfish on Saturday I picked him up we went and saw T2 then the boy & T1 at my parents and then he just spent Saturday with me so I could cry and sleep! But it was desperately needed