New baby and post birth advice #21: The knobwaffles are always wrong

[Borntorun]

This is karma for you
Knobwaffle is playing that silly baby aeroplane type thing that blokes love doing
Me: Dont do that, I’ve just fed her, she’ll be sick
Knobwaffle: nah don’t be daft, she’ll be fine
Baby: promptly vomits, all of which lands in knobwaffles mouth

 

[WhatABore]

He’s tried to get me into some games, there is one I liked called unravelled which was cute and fun but I’m not into the ‘proper’ games. But I always give them a go when he asks! He plays mostly with his friends who also all have kids so I can’t be the only raging wife out there


My oldest daughter touches her arsehole and genitals an alarming amount for a girl, I honestly thought it was only boys so I was horrified initially but now used to it. She doesn’t have worms thankfully or an infection but these kids just don’t care what they touch and when and where their hands go

My 4yo the other day asked if she could wash her hands. I asked why and she said "Because my finger smells because I stuck it up my bum"

Lovely.

 

[jackolantern]

Having a moment so coming to vent. I love Tommy more than words can explain but I'm feeling so done with it all today. Got up at 5 for my turn to watch him and I always have to pump straight away. OH used to stay up but now he's started escaping if he manages to get Tommy down for even 1 minute. I know he's exhausted but so am I and I can't manage Tommy while pumping and he will wake up and be hysterical because he always does. About 2 minutes after he goes, Tommy starts and loses his damn mind and I can't manage both so have to stop pumping. Now I've spilled milk trying to manage it all, Tommy has lost his shit so it takes me ages to settle him again and I'm walking around the house crying my eyes out, having lost pumping time. My milk supply has been swiftly dropping the past few weeks and I have no idea why, it's been making me really upset so this doesn't help at all. Pumping is fucking bad enough as is without this extra stress. My OH has chronic health problems and can't cope without sleep and we are already on so little as is, I totally understand why he is desperate, but I am exhausted too and we both want Tommy to have breastmilk so badly, I just wish he'd keep that in mind and be a bit more clued in about how impossible it is for me to pump with Tommy at the same time. OH is wonderful in most other ways but he really seems to have no appreciation for how fucking awful pumping is and how much I'm going through and sacrificing to do this. It's not even like I can just struggle to hold him at the same time, he's not that kind of baby, we literally have to walk around constantly rocking him when he's in his states and I just can't do that while pumping. Often when I get up after OH's shift, he goes back to bed too, which again I understand because he does desperately need the sleep, but I end up having around 8 hours overnight on my own and I cannot get a single thing done and I don't think he really gets how awful that is because I don't go to bed a second time so he doesn't have as long to cope (plus he doesn't have to pump!). When he gets up he will see to himself straight away without really considering me whereas I always check if he needs anything or wants to do something before I do the same. I know he means no harm and just doesn't think but it's really difficult.

I love Tommy so much but 3 months of 3-4 hours sleep a day and the constant inability to do anything other than walk endlessly rocking and sshing and struggling with him wriggling everywhere and spitting the dummy out, or watching constant mindless shit on the tv while not daring breath unless you wake him, it's just pushing me over the edge today. We are absolutely fucked for money too and most of my income is WFH and I'm not managing to get it done at all. It's all really scary. Everyday I think today's the day I'll manage to get something done and then it's 5am again and I've just existed and stressed all day again. I have no life and I feel like I've totally lost myself. I'm not the type of person who can sit for hours on end in PJs (not judging anyone who does, it's just not me that's all) and how long I go stinking and uncomfortable as hell without even being able to wash, or pee, god forbid eat, is just destroying me. I have hyperhydrosis and sweat basically 24/7, so to be going 12+ hours not washing is really distressing for me. I get really bad eczema on my hands too and it's come back with a vengeance from the stress which has tipped me over the edge. I really didn't know it was all this hard.

It's not even colic anymore, he just hates being put down and I can't even leave him for 10 minutes because the screaming will wake OH up, plus tbh I can't mentally handle the noise or him being sad. I really thought it would be better by now and I guess it is in the colic sense, but now I just have an insanely clingy baby instead. I don't resent him at all, I'm just really struggling and I can't get help from anyone because we aren't close to our families and I don't trust them with him. Plus the stress of them being around would be worse than this tbh. OH really is wonderful and I'm not bashing at all. He really does struggle so badly with his health and I know he needs the sleep so I don't resent him, I guess I just wish that didn't mean my life was even harder I suppose

Sorry for the massive rant, I'm just trying to avoid having a complete breakdown.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Twin 1 hasn't had a single nap all day. Put them to bed at half 6. She's still awake now. Lay her down on my chest and she falls straight to sleep, put her down anywhere shes awake.. Along with the 4am parties I can't do this anymore, I'm running on empty, I've not eaten since yesterday & even that was a slice of toast because I simply didn't have the time or energy.
I've got absolutely no one to ask for help, I'm completely done.

 

[Crazycatlady18]

My child ate an egg! Ok it was a mushed up boiled egg but omg she ate it. Well some got spat out but she was opening her mouth & chewing. She has never done that before.
It feels like such an achievement, though I have an eggy baby now

 

[Dipdab]

So at our wedding do on Saturday one of my husbands friends partner (I’ve only met her a few times) told us she was 7 weeks pregnant. Now I’m not shocked at her announcing early (each to their own), I’m a bit put out she thought a wedding would be the best time to do so. To add context - when we were going around to each table after the meal, she said to us “you may have noticed I’m not drinking”. (No hun there’s 110 people here I can’t see everyone’s drinks). Then proceeded to tell the whole table of friends she was pregnant. Also to add they haven’t been together very long and have broken up twice already.
I was a bit pissed off that evening but hubby thinks I’m overreacting.
Eta - I’m over it now and happy for them was just interested to know everyone’s thoughts …

 

[WhatABore]

I'm not sure if my partner is trying to drop hints or I just look a mess but 2nd day in a row now.
Yesterday, he said "I'll take Everleigh upstairs with my so you can do your hair before we go out"
My hair was already done.
And today,
"Ahh ill pop Everleigh in the pushchair and nip over the shop so you can do your hair"
My hair is already done.

Is he dropping hints or something?
Do I look that bad

 

[Borntorun]

Gosh, I’m doing it again. Spend all day complaining I’m tired, yet both kids are asleep and I’m here still awake. I’m not even doing anything productive; literally I’ve just googled if dogs know they’ve gone deaf or do they just think everyone’s stopped talking to them. I need better self control

 

[Definitelyme]

knobwaffle rant

So as you know I’ve been feeling pretty rubbish this week. Knobwaffle has been such a knobwaffle throughout. He is SO unsympathetic about me being unwell, and he seems to view this as not even being unwell. I asked him could he walk the bigs to school today as I feel like I’m wading through treacle trying to move without hurting the boob, and he tutted and rolled his eyes He has generally huffed and puffed about everything he’s had to do (that I normally do) and has been so unsupportive, doesn’t even ask how I’m feeling or anything. He deserves knobwaffle jail today.

 

[LilyRose1234]

The breastfeeding update everyone* has been waiting for: after my dramatic post, I have not in fact stopped, I just give her a bottle of expressed milk before bed, and try to give her a bottle overnight if I’ve expressed enough, but only after 4 hours have passed. If it’s less than 4 hours we just rock her. This was the third night and she’s gone 5-6 hours until her first wake and has only woken twice (and is still asleep!!!). I feel like an actual functioning human and Mr Rose has been able to settle her back down in the night rather than it all being me. It probably is coincidence and won’t last, but for now I’m happy!
*literally nobody

@Crazycatlady18 hope the first night went well!

 

[Definitelyme]

oh no this sounds horrible…Have you tried gently massaging it with an electric toothbrush (or any other vibrating instrument ) I heard that’s good? The only other thing I’ve heard that really helps clear it is dangle feeding and apparently it works even better if you dangle feed your partner as they’re more efficient at getting the blockage out than a baby!

I don’t think Mr Daisy would be having any of that though

Oh no
Have you got anything that vibrates?

I vote for MR Me removing the blockage!

I can categorically say I will die of boob rot before MrMe and I are dangle feeding together!

Tbh since I got home I haven’t done anything except wallow in self pity but my painkillers have kicked in so I’m ready to go with all the big tricks, like going in to booby battle….

 

[I’mThankyou_]

So at our wedding do on Saturday one of my husbands friends partner (I’ve only met her a few times) told us she was 7 weeks pregnant. Now I’m not shocked at her announcing early (each to their own), I’m a bit put out she thought a wedding would be the best time to do so. To add context - when we were going around to each table after the meal, she said to us “you may have noticed I’m not drinking”. (No hun there’s 110 people here I can’t see everyone’s drinks). Then proceeded to tell the whole table of friends she was pregnant. Also to add they haven’t been together very long and have broken up twice already.
I was a bit pissed off that evening but hubby thinks I’m overreacting.
Eta - I’m over it now and happy for them was just interested to know everyone’s thoughts …

You're not overreacting, it's rude. The day was about you & Mr Dipdab & the girls. By announcing she took the focus off you & your celebration. I'd of accidentally on purpose fell over with a red wine right into her lap tbh. There's an unspoken rule at weddings, you don't overshadow the bride and groom with a proposal or a baby announcement or anything else for that matter
Silly fool

 

[sodit]

My little madam is the same, not so bad now but god help us if it was too cold

ETA my eldest would drink it at any temperature anywhere, but this one oh no it hasn’t to be just right, little sod

Okay my husband will die if I tell anyone in real life this, but our son’s nickname is little goose (well that part is fine to share)
But, because:
The first weeks of his life all his feeds were pumped milk from bottles and he would only take them room temperature. So if we were planned ahead we’d leave one out on the side to come to temp for his next feed.
But if we weren’t….
He would say “I’ll grab a bottle from the fridge and Mother Goose it” aka sit with it between the top of his thighs for 5 mins and yes this has happened many times it’s a legit phrase in our house now - will you goose this for a bit please etc.
Little lad is the spit of his dad, so ‘little goose’ was born

 

[I’mThankyou_]

We actually slept 7pm to 6:30am FINALLY. No one woke up wanting to rave!!!!

 

[wakametango 2.0]

@wakametango 2.0 did you hear today about the job you went for?

Thank you for asking x
Just had a big cry to mr tango. No, I didn’t get it. The head was oddly dismissive over the phone, was a bit of a chaotic conversation. He said ‘awww you didn’t get it’, no ‘thank you’ for my time or mention of anything he liked about me, my lesson, skill set or interview. He started rambling on and on about giving my cv to a school in his trust, I had to ask where this school was (presumptuous of him) and found out I can’t even get there in time then when I asked for feedback he said he didn’t have any (what?) then got flustered and asked me to call back Friday. Confidence been knocked a bit

 

[Definitelyme]

My health visitor just came. We always have someone different and today’s health visitor…

HAS EIGHT CHILDREN.

8.

That is lots. Imagine

 

[Definitelyme]

@I’mThankyou_ @bottombanana thanks for asking . Not good is the answer. Luckily I got some antibiotics so I’ve started those, as the chills, flaming hot, red, boob and general feeling of death are here in full force. Have been in bed since 4.30 (listening to MrMe making a cock up of tea time downstairs… so restful )

Hoping that the 3 doses of antibiotics by tomorrow morning will have me perked up a bit I cannot get the blockage to clear at all, I can’t even find the damn thing, the whole boob is now swollen because of so much massaging and general manhandling.

 

[Dipdab]

Knobwaffle rant - I am really struggling with mine. He has zero patience for the babies and it’s really getting to me. If they don’t go down for a nap within 10 mins he gives up and gets frustrated (which doesn’t help as they’re crap nappers). Today he’s said the day is ruined because the babies both woke up at 530 and now that’s messed up their sleep . He doesn’t get they’re babies and don’t stick to a set schedule. he’s said he can’t deal with the crying and Has now gone off in a huff to the gym because that really helps the situation doesn’t it . No point to this point really just needed somewhere to let off steam

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Is it rude that I’ve just taped a post it note next to the sink detailing what each sponge is used for (us, pets and baby tangos bottles) as when MIL or my mum looks after baby T they always say ‘i would have washed up but I wasn’t sure what sponge to use’? Well, now they’ll know

 

[Definitelyme]

Anyone else spend their entire time feeling exhausted yet go to bed and I just lie here and I can’t sleep?!

Me every night "I’ll go to sleep early tonight"
Also me every night: knee deep in someone’s Victorian house renovation project on Instagram at 11.30pm