New baby and post birth advice #20 I didn’t choose the pouch life, the pouch life chose me

[Trombolese]

Feel like such a downer at the moment, but most of my friends all have their own stuff going on in life so I don’t want to bother them and typing on here helps. I feel like I haven’t been myself since I had baby T, he’s the only thing that’s been bringing me any happiness but most of the time I just feel a bit hollow. I don’t think it’s depression, I don’t feel really down, I just don’t feel much emotion at all if that makes sense? I’m on the pill so I wonder if that’s affecting my mood, but I’m breastfeeding so I’m limited to what contraception I can take. I’ve had a lot of stress though with the house stuff, family drama, my mum has had a load of health issues lately and my dads being a top tier knobwaffle so I worry about her a lot, and basically we have found out today that she has breast cancer. She’s going to hospital on Thursday to meet with the specialists and discuss treatment. Hate wallowing in my self pity, but it seems to be one thing after another all the time and I’m just trying to enjoy my maternity leave and I’m conscious I won’t get this time back. Sorry for the moan and depressing post

 

[Borntorun]

Why do grown adults feel they’re able to comment on my baby’s face?!? “What happened to her?!” “Can’t they do something about that?!”
She has a tiny strawberry birth mark, about the size of a 5p, on her chin. I think it’s adorable and I would never change it. It’s what makes her her. And it’s so cute and it suits her. Just wish random people in public would stop acting like it’s ugly because I love it

 

[Dipdab]

We had such a lovely wedding party yesterday! Thought you’d all like to see the Krispy Kreme tower which was a huuuuge hit!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Having a bit of a rough day, had to get the union involved with my work and I'm worried its going to cause issues for me further down the line (though I got a 3 week extension on my mat leave!) Hannah is still not well and I'm going to view another horse on Sunday (some of you will remember I lost my horse in nov) and I feel like I'm replacing him but something is missing from my life and it's defo a horse shaped hole. But I feel guilty about feeling like i need something other than Hannah which i know is silly.

Anyway I had a little cry and the threads favourite parrot has cuddled up to my eye, licking away my tears and saying "awww babe" and "you ok" he's the best

 

[Definitelyme]

 

[dollydog]

Ladies, I haven’t been on here for ages but I’ve just had to come to the bed in baby’s room fighting back tears because my husband has wound me up so much. I need to vent and don’t know where else to do it!

Tonight is the first night baby is sleeping in his own room. He’s 6 months on Tuesday but husband has been wanting to put him on his own since 4 monthss and I said no cause of SIDS guidance and I’m breastfeeding. Anyway, I’m fine with him being on his own now and there’s a bed in here, but as we were going to bed husband announced that we must now start sleep training. I said why I feed to sleep and he’s generally fine, wakes a few times for more boob but recognise that’s normal. Husband however thinks instead of doing this week need to let him cry it out. I said absolutely not, I’ll never stop responding to his needs and why do we need to do anything if what we’re doing is working. Husband then tells me that he needs to be independent (not even 6 months!)and his friends did it and their kids were fine. He said i always overrule decisions on what to do and won’t even talk about it, although he couldn’t give me examples. Interestingly, he hasn’t done one single night feed or wake up in 6 months so It would be me doing all the suggested training, and I tried to explain why sleep training wasn’t necessary, the basics of attachment and why CIO goes against that. He absolutely refuses to take on board any research, theory or evidence (because his friends are apparently the oracle of parenting instead) and just dismisses me. I’m just so fucked off, I’m a psychologist in a personality disorder service so I feel v strongly about this knowing the impact of not meeting a child’s needs, yet my line of work is just based on nothing according to him and is bullshit. He’s fucking bullshit.I put so much effort and thought into everything I do for this child and he’s just so dismissive and invalidating.Makes me just want to fuck off to the South of France with the baby and do it all myself.

 

[Borntorun]

Ah thank you for all your lovely birth mark comments - there’s too many to tag / quote you all. I feel better for having a rant about it today this random Karen in Argos referred to it as a ‘cigarette burn’ and I was just feeling a bit triggered. I don’t smoke and I definitely wouldn’t let my child get a burn on her face either my three year old just looked at her and said “it’s her tummy mark, she came out of mummy’s tummy like that” in a real ‘well duh’ tone of voice. If my toddler thinks it’s a dumb question, then yes, it’s a really dumb question.

A photo of my gorgeous little kiss mark just because I love it

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Being put on a ward with mums and their other babies mentally f**ked me up. 24 empty side rooms (yep we counted) and couldn't spare me 1 for 3 nights because they were all ring-fenced for covid paitents.
24 empty rooms when I arrived, 24 empty rooms when I left.. I'll never not forget the cries of another woman's baby whilst I was waiting to go and see my babies fighting for their lives.

 

[Lulu Goss]

I don’t know if I’m completely overreacting here but Mr Goss has just really pissed me off.

Baby is staying at my parents for the first time this Saturday night, as a trial run for when we have to leave her to go to a wedding next month. Mr Goss found out that he got a new job he went for () so we planned to go out for a meal and drinks in London. We’ve not been out just the two of us since she was born 7 months ago, so I was really looking forward to it. We were then going for a bbq at my mums the next day.

Today his mate text him to say that someone has pulled out of his stag do abroad this weekend and so does he want to go. Originally he wasn’t going because of the cost but now he’ll just need to pay the admin fee to change the flight plus spending money, so immediately he’s all excited saying how he could go.

As soon as I mentioned our plans he was like “we can just do that another time”. This is the only free weekend we have for over a month and we were supposed to be celebrating his new job. Plus if he’s not here baby will stay with me, so that’s changing my parents plans too. It’s not even like I can make plans and have a night out with friends because I literally have no money at the moment.

I get why he wants to go but I feel really upset that he’s so dismissive of doing anything with me. In the last month he’s had two weekends with mates where I’ve been at home with the baby. I just feel like I never get a fucking break or do anything exciting!

 

[MrsLucas]

Hey everyone I just had my third baby girl yesterday . We’ve just got home from hospital after being discharged. I had a planned section, my third one. I’m experiencing quite a bit of pain worse than earlier this morning. The midwife did warn me earlier I would most probably feel worse later. I’m absolutely exhausted but beyond besotted and obsessed with my baby girl .

 

[sodit]

Well, we’re in hospital. And I stink after being drenched in a big milky vomit. And didn’t have a shower this morning as Mr SI let me have a slight lie in and then went to throw a trolley round Aldi and I was waiting for him so I could go and have a right good scrub and hair wash.
Predictably when he got back the baby was nursing. Then we tried him with a bit of nut butter (less than a teaspoon, a baby spoon’s worth but thinned down with breast milk to make like 4 spoons worth) and all hell broke loose horrendous rash, swollen mouth/face/neck and rivers of sick over his papa and the whole kitchen.
He’s had allergic reactions to a couple of other things, but nothing like today. Called 999 for the first time in my life and they’ve ended up bringing us up here. Where his rash has got worse and he’s been sick all over both of us, but the swelling is under control at least.
Been 4 hours now, poor bub.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I wish someone would kindly wipe Putin off the face of the earth already. I need Mr TY home. I refuse to do another possible 2-3 months of this.

 

[jackolantern]

Omg guys I have an update in the Polish axe saga.

So it arrived today and it turns out… it’s not fucking Polish it’s Portuguese and in my half asleep drunken stupor I mixed up me Ps. In another twist it’s been shipped from Pakistan. It’s like they are out to fuck with my poor postpartum brain

None of this makes shite all difference ofcourse but it did tickle me that after all this time it wasn’t even fucking Polish

Will take a photo with small child later but he’s chilling in his moses basket for 5 and I dare not breathe in his direction never mind look at the bastard

 

[bottombanana]

The Polish axe got its own tick box

baby has woken up with 5(!!!!) teeth and I got an email from work about returning in 12 weeks, I’m not going back but it’s like signalling that I won’t have a baby soon and he’ll be one

ETA: he had 0 teeth yesterday

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Didn’t get the job, waaaa. Head said she loved me & would be an insult to offer me a teacher role so offered to coach and support me to find an assistant or deputy head role. I can bring baby tango into her office to write my next application. She’s going to speak to her head friends to see if there’s any jobs going. Happy & sad!

 

[Rxt156]

thought this would cheer us all up

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Who is this big girl with her first shoes! 🥹

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Spent the day looking for jobs because with the cost of living needing to move, Mr TYs wage just about stretches.
But by the time I've paid nursery fees, we're still back at square one, and basically relying on his income for everything else.
I refuse to do the 80% childcare bullshit because it messed me around with the boy and we ended up owing a fortune.
My therapist has cancelled my sessions because apparently I need trauma counselling.
I'm so over today, every single child I have birthed has gotten on my last nerve I wish I could just have 5 minutes to myself sick of all the responsibility and stress falling on me.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Twin life is cute....

Till you can move. That would be twin 1 climbing atop her sister

 

[Jellybean093]

Well I had a complete meltdown this morning due to the eldest being a lazy bint, so I bit her head off and then Mr Bs
Apparently he does a lot. He came home yesterday done the dinner (beans on toast) tidied, emptied the dishwasher, washed bottles and have them a bath.
His explanation of getting 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep was because he physically can’t be awake. Oh, but I can on 5 hours, if that.
He thinks this is all because he didn’t rinse the bottles, but it’s a lot more than that
But whatever. I just work from home and have 4 kids to sort. Because my job isn’t physical, I can’t be tired. I have again spent the morning in tears and am messing up simple jobs
My toddler is also out to get me as he got hold of the spray AGAIN and sprayed his older brother.
I’m so done.