New baby and post birth advice #18 Raise a glass (of Cola) to the future Nipple Biting World Champions

[Sailorontheseasea]

Just wanted to say this morning ladies (without getting too over emotional about it) that if you ever ever ever feel like something is not quite right with your babies then push push and push again. GPs, doctors, consultants, medical professionals sometimes no matter high up in their profession they all get it wrong sometimes. You know your baby, even if you think your gut instinct isn’t there, it is.

I don’t know if anyone remembers my posts about my middle one not eating, sleeping badly (understatement), losing weight - all things (bar the weight) that have happened his whole life, alongside loads of other health problems. We’ve been fobbed off by SO many doctors and consultants until a couple of nights ago he started retracting his breathing in his sleep and was in respiratory distress (he has obstructive apnea anyway so this was double as terrifying), even THEN after seeing videos and physical evidence of this happening his consultant said it’s fine, he’ll be fine, I’ll see him in a few weeks. I just wasn’t having it, it literally couldn’t wait, I got a second opinion (or at this point in his life, a 2649293rd opinion) and our worries were FINALLY validated. He’s having his tonsils + adenoids out in a couple of weeks as his obstructive apnea was so severe that his quality of life is/has been totally minimal. I could have (and did) cry with relief. The consultant said it will actually be life changing for him and I couldn’t agree. Something so fucking simple and quick for them to sort and it’ll make the absolute world of difference. My baby is going to feel normal again and be able to do normal things like eat and sleep properly

Just had to get this out somewhere as I know I’ve mentioned it on a couple of threads. I’m just so relieved. Mama bear instinct is strong you guys, I never feel like I have it but after fighting tooth and nail for 18 months to get to this point maybe I do have it!

 

[Trombolese]

I think my MIL has one upped herself today, she has just kicked us and the baby out of the house all because my partner went to watch football today with his dad, and she’s fallen out with him. Luckily my mum lives locally, but we are currently trying to set up in my old bedroom which has just been used to store stuff for ages, I don’t even think the next to me is going to fit in there but we shall see. We are still waiting to hear on a completion date, but the earliest we can move into our house is Friday. Fuck my life. I’m so mad, the fact she would kick out her 2 month old grandson this time of night just makes me not want to bother with her again, but knowing her she will just apologise tomorrow and expect it to all be ok.

 

[miamae]

Hi ladies, parking myself over on this thread if that's ok as my baby boy Arnie was born yesterday, still in shock he's here! Also can't quite believe how bad the after pains are with your 3rd

 

[Definitelyme]

Just in case anyone is wondering what I do in my spare time… making party hats for toy animals is apparently the answer this is for the birthday cake this week, my husband looked at me like I’m mental

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I have just purchased a circle of neglect (jumperoo) I've never had one, I didn't need one with the eldest he got my undivided attention and we lived with my mum at the time, I felt bad taking over her space. But I need something for T1 to do whilst T2 & I do her physio. Safe to say I've never seen her happier. Circle of neglect? Circle of joy more like!

 

[Belle Amie]

Small win for me I breastfed in public for the first time! It was at baby sensory and about 3 out of 8 others did it but yay I was so nervous that he’d chose that moment to not latch/cry or pull himself off but he behaved. I just needed to put this somewhere and I’m not about to update my Facebook status with it

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Nothing better than discovering your bestie

Just here to make you all broody again

 

[Babyyoda88]

Went to the MIL for dinner today and whilst I was feeding baby in the next room, partner was bitching about me to his family about how I “refuse” to put her on a bottle (baby won’t take a bottle) as if I did then he would help feed her of a night- would he fu@k help! She was on a small bottle for a while for her vitamins till she refused them and he fed her a couple of times and that was it. It would be left to me expressing and making up bottles and washing bottles- no thanks mate! And all his family sitting round sympathising with him, poor deprived father just wants to feed his daughter, but mean mummy will only breast feed her. He could help in other ways like bath her, feed her the weaning food, change her nappy, dress her, read her a bed time story, sing nursery rhythms to her, clean the house, take her whilst I had a little sleep on the weekend- oh no that’s all me too.

 

[wakametango 2.0]

It’s done. Told my school I won’t be back. I’ve been there 13 years. Visited another school this week (went really well, this head used
To work with my old head) and I’ll submitting my application tonight.
I’d have a glass of wine if baby tango wasn’t waking up to 9 times a night still

 

[Babyyoda88]

Well I’m considering loaning my mum out to any mum who is tired or needs a break or has a knobwaffle. (She doesn’t know I’m planning on doing this like). I’m currently lying in the bath she’s ran for me with scented candles and lavender whilst she looks over the baby monitor.
Since being here she’s also heard the baby and me awake at 6:30am and came in and taken her off me whilst I went back to sleep til 9:30!! I mean I haven’t had this sort of luxury since trying to think. But if MIL tries to have a pop at me for leaving partner “sad and lonely” (as she called it) for a few days then I’ll gladly inform her that may be he should help out with baby like my mum does and I won’t jump at the chance of having a few days away (I would probably still have a few days away ).

 

[Lulu Goss]

So fed up this morning. I’m still really annoyed with Mr Goss because of his behaviour last night - he claimed he didn’t know what I was talking about and then gave a half arsed apology and expected everything to be fine, which it’s not. We’ve had another long talk about our relationship and how we’re arguing all the time, he keeps saying he’s going to make more effort but nothing ever changes. And today I have to go and spend the day at his parents house with all his brothers and sisters playing happily families, having a lovely day with them after he spoilt my day with my family yesterday.

I really wish I could just not go but I don’t want him driving with the baby after how much he drank last night and it’s too far on public transport so I’ll be worrying about him getting her home at a reasonable time. At the moment I really feel like if we didn’t have the baby we’d be splitting up.

 

[jackolantern]

Tommy’s nearly 10 weeks now and our routine? He’s the fucking boss and we all march to whatever tune the little shit fancies that day

 

[Dipdab]

T1 has always napped on her side, her new favourite position is using her twin as a comfy foot rest …

 

[Trombolese]

It’s my birthday today but started off the day by having a difficult conversation with my partner about how he’s not doing enough, I don’t really know how it’s gone down but I’m guessing it’s not gone well. He’s downstairs with the baby now whilst I’m getting ready. He seemed suprised, but yesterday he was home all day and we only saw him for a couple of hours as he was either napping, playing fifa or watching football. The day before was pretty much the same too. The baby has been crying a lot since his jabs the other day and I’m just left all day every day to look after him, and if he does have a nap then I have to do housework so I don’t get any break. I think I might have just ruined my own birthday, but hopefully he starts to help out more

 

[Definitelyme]

The wee sod had a fabulous day with my parents, drank TWO CUPS of water, SLEPT IN THE BUGGY and allowed them to spoon feed him. I think they had the wrong kid, because those aren’t things that happen at our house!

 

[LongishCat]

Hi all! Sorry it's been so long! Missed you all
Everything is fine, but I feel like time is going so incredibly fast, I can't keep up.

Kitten is on solids! She's actually starting to like them! But you all weren't lying when you said weaning poos are vile

I read a few days (or longer?) ago that so many of you are struggling with your partners. Same here. He can annoy me so incredibly much at times. It sometimes feels like I have two kids at home and Kitten is the easiest one Sometimes I just want to kick him out, but he's great with Kitten and he's trying (he's also a great cook).
I think sleep deprivation makes you feel very on edge and the small things that annoyed you before, now feel like very big deals. I know we'll get through this and in a way it's normal. It just sucks.

Our dads are still going relatively strong though, so there's that.

I'm also loving my job, which is great

Hope you all are doing well, I'll try to get up to speed again!

Edit: I also saw this online, which made me think of the amazing twin mommas here

 

[PrincessShark]

I’m coming to join you over here from the pregnancy thread!

My little shark was born on Tuesday, she’s just wonderful. However my post partum care has been SHOCKING. I didn’t get a 38 week midwife appointment due to staff shortages (she was born just over 38 weeks… ), she had lost 5% birth weight by day 3 and we’re having a terrible time breastfeeding, possible tongue tie but we’ve had no day 5 check yesterday, they can’t fit us in again today. I know it can’t be helped but because we’re struggling so much breastfeeding it’s really stressing me out. Baby hasn’t had her heel prick done or anything, good job we had an easy birth and I didn’t have tears or stitches that needed checking.

 

[bottombanana]

I’m going to sound so fucking obscene and I feel so bad for even being upset about it.
We paid a deposit for a holiday abroad for this year and now we’ve just agreed to cancel it because of money. I’ve come to the realisation that we won’t be able to afford to go on holiday for a long time because I’m not working (like a lot of mums childcare just isn’t worth it bc of wages). I feel awful for my boys, like they’re missing out, I know rationally they’re too young to know that they’re missing out but I just feel like I’m letting them down. I feel even worse because my brother and his family just got back from over 2 weeks in Florida (they went every year before covid and do all the parks) and they’ve got at least 2 more summer holidays booked and my boys will be stuck at home doing the same thing they always do. We don’t have the money to do a staycation or the means to do anything “special” with them. I’m actually crying which is so pathetic. I’m embarrassed at myself.
I know this is such a pity party post and you’re all probably rolling your eyes at the middle class twat.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Mr TY has suggested going to Haven for my 30th. Now don't get me wrong I'm happy that we'll be having a little family break, but it's my 30th. I've been away from the twins for a total of 3 hours since they came home from NICU and I never get a break, when hes home i find myself asking if its OK that i wash my hair, in his world the hour it takes me to do my hair is a break - despite him and all 3 kids ending up in the bathroom with me. I was hoping that somewhere inside of him he'd arrange for my mum to watch the kids and we'd do something together. I always go all out for his birthday & I thought given this is a big birthday he might have something up his sleeve, turns out nope my mums asked him does he want her to have the kids and he's said no.

 

[fryingbrian]

Hi all, long time lurker on this thread! Had my little one five weeks ago and just need to vent a bit. I’ve really been struggling physically after birth, I’ve been having terrible migraines (so shit with a newborn) and have been getting heavy bleeding this past week - had the absolute joy of a doctors visit this afty where I got poked with a speculum for 45 minutes AND I have to go back and potentially do it all again tomorrow because the doctor couldn’t find my cervix, then the nurse could and then she lost it I’m just so tired and drained and tbh don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to who gets it sometimes. None of my friends have kids yet and my mum lives far away and only ever responds oh no xx to my whinging texts. Partner seems more interested in his work than me and baby . Anyway love reading along with this thread and just needed to get that off my chest