Thank you so much
I’m not sure how to message had a look but not sure!! Please can you message me if you know how? I’ve no idea how to look for the therapies you mentioned and would love more info thanks so much xx
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I’m not sure how to message had a look but not sure!! Please can you message me if you know how? I’ve no idea how to look for the therapies you mentioned and would love more info thanks so much xxIt’s not allowing me to send a messageThank you so much
I’ll see what I can do xx
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I know the pain of being cheated on, it’s gut-wrenching. The best thing you can do is rise above it; easier said than done at first, I know, but through time you will move on from this. For now, lean on your friends and loved ones for support, they will help you through it. The best revenge is happiness. Work on yourself, do whatever it is you like doing, know that life is full of dickheads like those two and it was just a case of the garbage taking itself out. One day he’ll realise the mistake he’s made in leaving you (probably when she’s cheated on him and moved on to someone else) and by then you’ll have moved on to better things.
My local authority offers free counselling but the wait is over a year, they also have a subsidised counselling service that they give you the details of if you ring them and don't want to wait for free help. Search for your local IAPT (for instance 'Newcastle IAPT' in Google) that should bring up their number and they will talk you through what is accessible in your area. The subsidised therapy in my area runs in wage brackets 0-12,000 a year is £5 a session, 12-16k is £10 a session etc. It's a lot less expensive than private but still might be a little wait.It’s not allowing me to send a message
Hi OP
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. How utterly gut wrenching and what a pair of horrible people.
This will fall apart as soon as the "novelty" of the affair wears off and real life kicks in. Most affairs are doomed for that very reason. When the thrill of the forbidden nature is gone, there won't be much left.
They are deserving of your pity and contempt for being so despicable and horrible.
I love the advice that was given earlier of "get better, not bitter". While the two little sacks of tit are left dealing with the consequences of their sordid actions, you'll be getting stronger and better.
All the best xx
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. How utterly gut wrenching and what a pair of horrible people.
This will fall apart as soon as the "novelty" of the affair wears off and real life kicks in. Most affairs are doomed for that very reason. When the thrill of the forbidden nature is gone, there won't be much left.
They are deserving of your pity and contempt for being so despicable and horrible.
I love the advice that was given earlier of "get better, not bitter". While the two little sacks of tit are left dealing with the consequences of their sordid actions, you'll be getting stronger and better.
All the best xx
Gosh that’s awful I’m so sorry you’re going through this!
My sister went through something kind of similar when she was pregnant with her first child. Her husband had an affair and during that time her best friend was always her support, then when my sister split with her husband, her best friend got together with him and had 2 children.
To top it off my sister was left penniless and her husbands parents built a large fancy house on their land for his new family and girlfriend.
However my sister has been so strong and met a lovely man who has been there for her for the past 18 years raising her daughter as his own. They may not have loads of money but her ex and her ex best friend are in a miserable relationship and he’s cheated on her several times.
Karma will get them and as cliche as it sounds, all bad things happen for a good reason I promise xxxx
My sister went through something kind of similar when she was pregnant with her first child. Her husband had an affair and during that time her best friend was always her support, then when my sister split with her husband, her best friend got together with him and had 2 children.
To top it off my sister was left penniless and her husbands parents built a large fancy house on their land for his new family and girlfriend.
However my sister has been so strong and met a lovely man who has been there for her for the past 18 years raising her daughter as his own. They may not have loads of money but her ex and her ex best friend are in a miserable relationship and he’s cheated on her several times.
Karma will get them and as cliche as it sounds, all bad things happen for a good reason I promise xxxx
It’s not just counselling services, my LA offers CBT based therapies and the wait list is 6-8 weeks at present!
I tried to get couples therapy (previously had it on the nhs), but it was £79 a session. So it didnt happen!
@Illnevertellxoxo how are you getting on lovely? I really hope that things are starting to look up for you!
Hey! Thanks so much.
I took one of your gals suggestions and contacted a few councillors and had phone consultations which was good. Still doing my research.
I’ve been busy with work and friends and haven’t spoken to him now in 2 weeks. Which is very weird still but I know it’s for the best trying to rise above and not send any angry messages.
Mira coming up 2 months this weekend which is blind blowing but everyone’s saying how great I’m doing and shown I’m the better person which is making me feel great tbh.
A few down days of course, had a wobble earlier but I’m blaming it partly on an episode of this is us
thanks everyone I do keep coming back here to read the comments and advice when I have those wobbles
Hey, I’ve just found out my husband slept with his colleague while I was 9 months pregnant. It happened twice, then tried to sleep with her again 2 weeks ago, I saw phone calls before to her but he denied everything, so when I saw calls 2 weeks ago again I messaged her and she was honest with me. It was at a Christmas do we were both at. That night she was rubbing my pregnant belly happy for us and then when I went home early he went back to hers and in his words “one thing lead to another”. It happened again a few weeks later when he was drunk and she was sober? I won’t even sleep with him when he’s drunk?
I’m just not sure how I feel? He’s now seeing a councillor as a few months ago I found he was on those only fans websites and paying for pictures of women. I don’t believe it’s the first time he’s cheated on me but he is saying it is?
Has anyone on here stayed with their cheating husband? Have they done it again? I’ve been reading up and I find once they do it once they will tend to do it again?
I’m just not sure how I feel? He’s now seeing a councillor as a few months ago I found he was on those only fans websites and paying for pictures of women. I don’t believe it’s the first time he’s cheated on me but he is saying it is?
Has anyone on here stayed with their cheating husband? Have they done it again? I’ve been reading up and I find once they do it once they will tend to do it again?
I don’t know what to say, it was awful just reading what you have been through. To lose the trust and respect from two people you loved us beyond my comprehension. But if he’s made his decision they you just have to let him go. Neither of them deserve the love and companionship that you gave them, esp your husband. Your love and your life deserves to be shared with someone else, someone who would never do that and who will treat you with all the love and respect you deserve. I know you aren’t even thinking about another relationship now, but your love is truly wasted. Don’t live this life with half measures, you should be totally happy and spend it with good people. So let them both go and just realise that they aren’t meant for you. Other friends and other people are far more worthy of you, and this has shown this to you. Yes it’s in a an awful way, but at least you now and aren’t living a lie. I think you just have to feel how you feel now. Allow yourself to have bad days and know that it’s ok to have these feelings. Scream and shout and cry, but then also know that better times are coming. You will get over this and it will leave you scarred and hurt but you will. You can build Abilene life again with people who reciprocate that love and friendship.I have amazinggggg friends and family they have been truly Incredible I’m so lucky. I wouldn’t-be getting through this right now if it wasn’t for them.. thank god.
She is manipulative and a total princess, she’s changed over the last 6 months to suit him.. all of a sudden her hobbies and likes changed into his... and he has fallen for it.
He said to me there is no going back, I wanted to forgive him and move on... I got married I didn’t want to give up I wanted to fight for it and I know how hard that will have been.
he doesn’t want me at all now he wants her
she’s also been having an affair with another married man who’s got kids, since her divorce she’s been so bitter. Going after anyone and everything to fill the void of her unhappiness.
I keep asking him “why her and why now” it makes no sense. She saw what we had and wanted that for herself so she took it.
I was happy in my relationship and I thought he was too, he’s now saying he fell out of love with me but didn’t want to say it and then had an affair. It doesn’t make sense, the rug has been pulled from under me completely blind sighted
Always know your worth, always. They’ve shown themselves to you and that’s that.
Surround yourself with good people and get your strength up for now. It all sounds cliche but it’s what you need to do.
If you do continue to struggle in a years time, maybe go and talk to someone, all is not lost even though it may seem it now.
The one thing I do know is that in time they will regret it and realise how they treated you and what they lost. And it will be the day they see you totally happy.
Good luck and much love. Xx
I still havent come to a decision with my situation, and I know now how easy it is to give advice from the outside looking in - but what he did was awful, to have sex with someone else is bad enough, but when youre pregnant!? And having the mistress there around you too. Gosh. Im so sorry!
My OH has been a serial cheater all his adult life. I think its pretty rare that a cheater wont do it again
Your situation is obviously more complicated given there's a child involved, but seriously he sounds like a scumbag and I would be seriously questioning whether you want to stay with him. If you forgive him he is likely to do it again, because he will have got away with it!
I am so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.
These things make us feel so lonely and really wreck havoc on our confidence. We blame ourselves thinking what else we could have done or what we could change to make him want us. Unfortunately, a lot of men self sabotage in a big way. They’ll be in loving marriages, secure and happy and will end up cheating on a woman who gave everything to their relationship. These men are deeply unhappy.
And it’s this reason that you should not accept someone who has betrayed you and hurt you like this. I’m happy to see he’s going to see a counsellor but he’s managed to hide this from you while you needed him the most and that’s the biggest betrayal of all. The only way you’ll know he can change is when he decides to work on himself. But I have to say, most men WILL instead choose to fill that time with other women so they don’t have to acknowledge the pain they’ve caused you or what’s going on inside them, but let him live with that regret because believe me, in time it will come.
At least give yourself time to focus on yourself and your baby before considering the relationship again. He needs to know that you won’t stand for this again and unfortunately that takes pain, loneliness and patience.
I’m in this stage myself of letting go of a man who hurt me to my core and every day is a struggle but it will lead to a stronger me one day. Don’t let this man take you for granted.
A year and a half later… hello everyone!
This might seem a bit strange but I wanted to come back and say thank you and update you.
when I posted this nearly 2 years ago (wow) I didn’t think aski my strangers online would help and I remember how desperate sad I was writing that. Reading it again now just made me cry and all your lovely comments.
I wanted to come back and to anyone who’s going through heartbreak to know that there is light and things do get better!
I’m divorced, I found a new career and I am happier truly then ever ever before. I’ve dated loads and loved every minute of it and best of all I’ve met a lovely new man and we’re going away together this week.
Divorce is hard, breakups are hard, relationships are hard work but seriously you got to pick yourself up you can totally get him through it! If I can you can too..I tried therapy it wasn’t for me but I’m glad I tired. I leaned on my amazingggggg friends and family and were closer than ever.
Thank you again to this small corner of the Internet for your lovely words back then, I’ve been back here a fair few times to re read and give my head a wobble.
Ans because some of you might be curious… yes my ex husband and ex best friend are still together and still friendless after everyone else walking away. Don’t get me wrong I sometimes sit and wish they weren’t and it will always hurt that they are because let’s be honest who wants them to be happy?
Gals thank you again
This might seem a bit strange but I wanted to come back and say thank you and update you.
when I posted this nearly 2 years ago (wow) I didn’t think aski my strangers online would help and I remember how desperate sad I was writing that. Reading it again now just made me cry and all your lovely comments.
I wanted to come back and to anyone who’s going through heartbreak to know that there is light and things do get better!
I’m divorced, I found a new career and I am happier truly then ever ever before. I’ve dated loads and loved every minute of it and best of all I’ve met a lovely new man and we’re going away together this week.
Divorce is hard, breakups are hard, relationships are hard work but seriously you got to pick yourself up you can totally get him through it! If I can you can too..I tried therapy it wasn’t for me but I’m glad I tired. I leaned on my amazingggggg friends and family and were closer than ever.
Thank you again to this small corner of the Internet for your lovely words back then, I’ve been back here a fair few times to re read and give my head a wobble.
Ans because some of you might be curious… yes my ex husband and ex best friend are still together and still friendless after everyone else walking away. Don’t get me wrong I sometimes sit and wish they weren’t and it will always hurt that they are because let’s be honest who wants them to be happy?
Gals thank you again
A year and a half later… hello everyone!
This might seem a bit strange but I wanted to come back and say thank you and update you.
when I posted this nearly 2 years ago (wow) I didn’t think asking strangers online would help and I remember how desperate sad I was writing that. Reading it again now just made me cry and all your lovely comments.
I wanted to come back and to anyone who’s going through heartbreak to know that there is light and things do get better!
I’m divorced, I found a new career and I am happier truly then ever ever before. I’ve dated loads and loved every minute of it and best of all I’ve met a lovely new man and we’re going away together this week.
Divorce is hard, breakups are hard, relationships are hard work but seriously you got to pick yourself up you can totally get him through it! If I can you can too..I tried therapy it wasn’t for me but I’m glad I tired. I leaned on my amazingggggg friends and family and were closer than ever.
Thank you again to this small corner of the Internet for your lovely words back then, I’ve been back here a fair few times to re read and give my head a wobble.
Ans because some of you might be curious… yes my ex husband and ex best friend are still together and still friendless after everyone else walking away. Don’t get me wrong I sometimes sit and wish they weren’t and it will always hurt that they are because let’s be honest who wants them to be happy?
Gals thank you again
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This is wonderful to read. I'm so glad you have found happiness again and are enjoying life. Enjoy every second xxxxxA year and a half later… hello everyone!
This might seem a bit strange but I wanted to come back and say thank you and update you.
when I posted this nearly 2 years ago (wow) I didn’t think aski my strangers online would help and I remember how desperate sad I was writing that. Reading it again now just made me cry and all your lovely comments.
I wanted to come back and to anyone who’s going through heartbreak to know that there is light and things do get better!
I’m divorced, I found a new career and I am happier truly then ever ever before. I’ve dated loads and loved every minute of it and best of all I’ve met a lovely new man and we’re going away together this week.
Divorce is hard, breakups are hard, relationships are hard work but seriously you got to pick yourself up you can totally get him through it! If I can you can too..I tried therapy it wasn’t for me but I’m glad I tired. I leaned on my amazingggggg friends and family and were closer than ever.
Thank you again to this small corner of the Internet for your lovely words back then, I’ve been back here a fair few times to re read and give my head a wobble.
Ans because some of you might be curious… yes my ex husband and ex best friend are still together and still friendless after everyone else walking away. Don’t get me wrong I sometimes sit and wish they weren’t and it will always hurt that they are because let’s be honest who wants them to be happy?
Gals thank you again
I didn’t want to sound cheesy or annoying but it’s sometimes nice to know that things can work out for the best
even through the darkest times!
Marvelous news . XA year and a half later… hello everyone!
This might seem a bit strange but I wanted to come back and say thank you and update you.
when I posted this nearly 2 years ago (wow) I didn’t think aski my strangers online would help and I remember how desperate sad I was writing that. Reading it again now just made me cry and all your lovely comments.
I wanted to come back and to anyone who’s going through heartbreak to know that there is light and things do get better!
I’m divorced, I found a new career and I am happier truly then ever ever before. I’ve dated loads and loved every minute of it and best of all I’ve met a lovely new man and we’re going away together this week.
Divorce is hard, breakups are hard, relationships are hard work but seriously you got to pick yourself up you can totally get him through it! If I can you can too..I tried therapy it wasn’t for me but I’m glad I tired. I leaned on my amazingggggg friends and family and were closer than ever.
Thank you again to this small corner of the Internet for your lovely words back then, I’ve been back here a fair few times to re read and give my head a wobble.
Ans because some of you might be curious… yes my ex husband and ex best friend are still together and still friendless after everyone else walking away. Don’t get me wrong I sometimes sit and wish they weren’t and it will always hurt that they are because let’s be honest who wants them to be happy?
Gals thank you again