Mumsnet #85 you’re not a sex cow

[Cinnabun]

Yes, yes you are.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Yes, yes you are.

Do neither of them own a phone?

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Strap in lads, plenty of but what does it meeeeaaannnn replies

But this was my favourite. OK Barbara, you sit there staring intently at someone, like a bleeping deranged wombat

 

[FunnyFuneral]

I’m the proud owner of dark grey plastic rattan furniture and a hot tub.

I have 4 rattan chairs, 2 dark grey and 2 light grey and a little light grey drinks table to match the light grey chairs. I never sit out though as I live in the shadows

 

[nobotoxta]

The proposal one is mental. My first head husband found out that he'd get a tax break if we got married so simply told me to call the register office; second (and rather perfect current) and I, decided that we might as well while we were at his brothers wedding

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Strap in lads, plenty of but what does it meeeeaaannnn replies

View attachment 3985792

But this was my favourite. OK Barbara, you sit there staring intently at someone, like a bleeping deranged wombat
View attachment 3985791

Many years ago during a parking argument outside my in laws house (all MN boxes ticked) my then brother in law was having a dispute with a very angry woman. My DIrishMIL (r.i.p Marguerite/Rita) and I were spectating from the front room window, and she said.......
"Jaysus would you look at her, she has a face like a madman's a"
I've never seen one but tbf it was an accurate description lol

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I’m the proud owner of dark grey plastic rattan furniture and a hot tub.

Same. Or ‘chavvy sex pond’, as MN like to call them.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I’ve got grey plastic rattan chairs. I bought them from Aldi.

I’ll go out later and set fire to me and them. I’m so ashamed i thought they or I were acceptable human beings

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

I’m back from Prom Day and despite taking my flask and homemade sandwiches, we succumbed to the lure of spicy fried chicken and ice cold lager instead. The kids had chips and ice cream and I have self reported to social services and the Dcoroner. Outing but can you see me?

View attachment 3985616

I assume you're the one on the top of the crane having been lifted off the beach because you're so obese. Is the dcoroner aware you were consuming alcohol whilst in charge of kids?

 

[Millie2023]

There's a thread where OP is asking if council houses with long gardens should have more council homes built in the gardens.

My friend, who lived in a council house with a massive garden, used to keep her pony in the garden over the winter (she had a stable built at the bottom). I’m not sure WTF mumsnetters would have made of that. Imagine a povo owning a pony <shudder>

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

Yes, yes you are.

I’m undecided if this is a genuinely deranged narcissist or a genius rage-bait troll.

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

It’s a whole thing where people are, apparently ‘orchids’ (tender, rare, delicate, beautiful if given the right environment) or ‘dandelions’ (common, hardy, will do well anywhere). It’s the latest iteration of what was once called ‘indigo children’, aka ‘mummy wants a label for her most special, not like other children, sensitive flower’.

If I ever met anyone who claimed to have an ‘indigo child’ I’d slap them about the head until my arm fell off.

You haven’t got a ‘special child’, you utter fuckwit. You just failed spectacularly at raising your offspring.

 

[GirlWithThePearlEarhole]

It's apparently the very well known term for a child that is sensitive.

I thought it was something to do with the child having special testicles. . Like the Orchid Charity for testicular cancer and orchid being the medical prefix for all things testicular ie orchidectomy, orchidopexy.

 

[Iamthebosun]

My friend, who lived in a council house with a massive garden, used to keep her pony in the garden over the winter (she had a stable built at the bottom). I’m not sure WTF mumsnetters would have made of that. Imagine a povo owning a pony <shudder>

They'd probably be alright with it if she ate the pony rather than freeloading off of food banks like other council house fatties do.

 

[girlinbrum]

"Face like an armpit" for thread title.

 

[lilykestrel]

Saw this and thought of you all

Best styled with a voluminous sack dress

 

[HoneyNed]

The proposal one is mental. My first head husband found out that he'd get a tax break if we got married so simply told me to call the register office; second (and rather perfect current) and I, decided that we might as well while we were at his brothers wedding

Oh god, that reminded me of the time I asked my son when he was about 10, if he wanted to get married one day, and he said "well I would, but only for the tax break". He's autistic if you couldn't tell but also strapping!! And that's what counts!

 

[HoneyNed]

The thread "What's the worst thing you've ever done" keeps notifying me of new posts after I watched it, I'm too scared to read the replies because I've done so many bad things, I literally don't know which is the worst, and I know I'd be ripped to shreds if I confessed most

 

[HoneyNed]

Report to OFSTED...

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

Saw this and thought of you all

Best styled with a voluminous sack dress

View attachment 3986071

That's quite sweet!!

For a toddler.