Rebeca reminds me a lot of my own mother, which is sad and makes me want to hug the girls.
Rebecca will tell herself she’s an amazing mother. She will genuinely delude herself into believing it. Her lack of connection with her kids - it causes real psychological harm (I would know). Having a distant, self involved, immature, immotionally stunted, neglectful mother is horrendous. It’s eerie seeing how similar she is.
My mother hated doing chores too. She had the mentality of a teenager and resented doing any housework. She’d get stroppy the way Rebecca comes across now. She was a stay at home mum and still insisted on having a cleaner even when we were all at school, not unlike Rebecca.
my mother was also addicted to spend spend spend the way Rebecca does. Countless new clothing, things for the house etc. Growing up I thought she was just bored, or really terrible at managing money. Now I’m in my 30s and a bit wiser, I see that behaviour for what it was; my mother was filling a void in her life. She had no sense of self, no direction, no real joy or passion in life. The highs of buying and surrounding herself with new things was the only way she figured out how to fill that void. It’s a coping mechanism she passed on to me and it’s taken my years to start to overcome a lot of the unhealthy mindsets and behaviours I inherited from my mother, not to mention the poor self esteem.
Rebecca is still young enough to change. She can start to connect and care for the girls more if she tries. She could come off social media. She could get a part time job/volunteer and start really finding out about what makes her feel fulfilled. She could start being a bit more self aware and reflective, maybe even go to therapy. I *really* hope she does.
because if she keeps going the way she is, the girls will grow up to have low self esteem, a catalogue of issues and they’ll have a distant relationship with her. At that point, all Rebecca will have is a life with a man she doesn’t even like that much, and whatever is left of her insta audience.