Mrs Hinch #586 Feeling the pinch? Not Mrs Hinch. She'll still gloat, while we've got nowt!
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@Lemonlime67
As always, titles marked with "thread suggestion" or they won't be seen! Short, relevant and swear free please!
After returning from her holiday she was straight into her usual combination of ads brags and attempts to stay relevant and relatable.
She kicked off Saturday with a plinky plonk montage of the menagerie. That content is so samey now I don't even have anything funny left to write about it.
Attempt at quirky farm content complete, next on the list was a brag.
The bland dining room was showcased in all is blandness. Gepettos home made, perma-laid table groaning under all the tat. Brick schlips schlipping sadly. Ghost of the back passage echoing around the room as empty and soulless as Hinch herself.
Farm content and brags done, time to be relatable and wash the holiday washing. In her huge utility corridor hallway area room.
Someone's been on the appletisers with lunch on Saturday as the next story was a mini Gretel rant about HB selling out of a cushion. Don't you know who she is, Sharon at Home Bargains? She's local celebrity, Mrs Hinch the cleaning lady from Instagram! Get those awful pumpkin cushions back in stock now.
Sunday morning she was up to her usual tricks with the tomato puree. I'm not sure about you, but I don't feel like my Sunday is complete until I've made my kids breakfast and then gone off to create some monstrous concoction just for content. What is life without wasting food during a time of extreme financial difficulty for much of your audience?
Sad crumpets made, filmed and promptly chucked in the bin, it was time to cry into her pasta over another influencers pregnancy announcement. Maybe it needed salt?
Suddenly, as if she owns the TARDIS and can travel through space and time, she uploaded a montage of a visit to a local zoo. But wasn't she just crying into her pasta?
Somehow, amongst all the crumpet fingering, pasta crying and zoo visiting, she had time to send herself a message as an excuse to brag about those hideous brick schlips again. And drop the word griege a few more times.
It's the last week of the month so we know what that means - ads incoming!
First up a cleaning reel in which she cleaned an oven that was already clean and snuck around advertising rules by turning the bottle labels away from the camera. The highlight of this reel for me was the labelling of the hob as an "oven top". Best. Selling. Author.
Popped an undeclared affiliate link for an Amazon product in the comments too, because she thinks she so clever.
As if by some predictable magic, it was now time to advertise her one-off, once it's gone it's gone baby range. That's been out for a couple of months now. Bargain bin springs to mind.
She needs to stay relatable so threw in a last minute video of her supposedly playing with Ron. There was a lot wrong here, and too much for a recap. That nose though.
Tuesday was a day for contractual obligations. A montage to remind us of her god-awful cuntalyptus odour and a trip to ASDA to greenwash P&Gs products.
Wait ASDA? Not Tesco? Is someone feeling bitter about the end of a contract?
Ads done, quirky content to be relatable was on the list. In a frankly bizarre and white quite surreal story, she gurned and fidgeted away while putting on a full face of makeup to nip out for milk and "yogs".
A brief brag and beg about the fifth bedroom and she was done.
Finally, despite avian flu guidelines being tightened in her area on Tuesday, Wednesday morning she was up and manhandling a chicken for content. Ohhhh DEFRAAAAA....
Dogpie refers to our main character, Sophie-Rose of Maldonia who added Rose in her teens.
Acorn Manzz is Sophie's smaller than average husband.
Ma Barker is the on hand babysitter, bitty offerer and husband fiddler.
Gepetto hasn't been seen in a while again, taking some time off I hope.
Wiki is the pink button at the top, thread 500 has most of the answers and even more questions.
don't thinkyour millions of bots will be buying new sofas anytime soon either 
