Mrs Hinch #488 Free the Maldon 3

[Andioooop]

Meanwhile at Faux Farm, Raymond took matters into his own 2 toed fut & stole the tranquilliser, forced the closest lookalike (Fiddle) into the sylvanian sized stable hoping Veruca wouldn’t notice & planned a swift escape to @fannysjohnny ‘s house:

 

[Pollyanna263]

Mrs Hinch #488 Free the Maldon 3

Winning thread title by @Lisav
Winning thread titles taken from page 30 onwards
Keep them short and sweet, and swear-free

Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies


Today on ‘Gepetto’s Workshop’, Daddy and Veruca showcased a brand new hut (the one on the list with the art grass…?), and installed a slow feeder for ‘the boyz’. Can’t be much slower than she’s managing to do this reveal.

While we tattlers don’t claim to be alpaca experts, we’re pretty certain that there isn’t enough space for them to be appropriately housed and happy. If our worries about astroturf are correct, Soph’s going to have to employ a full time vet. Or read a book and do it herself.

We are pretty expert on Soph, though, and all agree that she is fucking delusional and her mum should have said no a bit more when she was a child.

Assuming the Hinchliffes are now fully enjoying Lodge Life, we’re still waiting for the tour and room updates. I mean, you’d make sure your children’s bedrooms were furnished and you had a working kitchen before you got livestock, right?!

Maybe the overnight-in-one-room rota also includes alpaca care. Safe to assume Sophie ‘tend Rose is not an active participant, with her Amazon wellies (swipe up huns) and the seat her daddy made her for when she gets tired
Weepy Gepetto also made a pallet stand for Soph’s farmer things, and glory hole to spy on Fiddle and Father Jim the boyz. Anyone would think it’s a prison cell, rather than a fully functional farm… Here’s another book for you Sophie

Will tomorrow be the day? Or is she waiting for the weather to match the pre-records? Sorry to say Soph, January isn’t very good at looking like October.

One final thought from Royoioi, Rodney and Raymond, as they practise their lines for the big reveal

Fiddle / mad ma / Freda - Sophie’s mum
Weeping Al / tiny tears / Gepetto - Sophie’s dad
Inch / Janine / James / Jimbobnojobtinyknob - Jamie
Veruca Salt - Sophie
SS - Stacey, Soph’s ‘tend friend
Crunky snacks - what we apparently eat

 

[Pollyanna263]

I can’t wait until Roland Rat and his pals come to stay

He already lives there

 

[dumdums83]

 

[mingeandbracket]

'Like a kid in a sweetshop'..... Don't get used to it luv, soon you'll just be a cunt in a shed full of shit. ATV

 

[Doratheexplorer]

Sooo how long do we think she’s actually been in this house? Sorry if it’s been mentioned, I have young children and don’t have time to keep up with the threads.

I wonder if her siblings ever get fucked off how much her parents do for her. She’s a millionaire but relies on them heavily for the kids, now her dads doing all the jobs on the house too. I bet they don’t see half as much as them as she does and I know that would really bother me.

 

[beegee]

I have been lurking for sooo long on this thread, i can see my last reply was in 2019, I'm feeling brave but annoyed today haha.. but its literally like ground hog day watching her get obsessed with something, going 100mph then dropping it and moving onto the next thing.
Does anyone else remember agesssss ago when she bought that pissing sewing machine cos she wanted to make things for before Ronnie was born (and she made that creepy teddy?) but then we never saw it again? (Probs went to the tip with all the other tat she buys) Thats how long ive been getting annoyed with her but the frustrating thing is now we are in the realms of live animals and its so sad to think the alpaccas will be another fad and then just discarded when she discovers they aren't "farm animal people" and will just have another baby or something to try and compete with someone else
And I also agree with what someone else said, how long is she going to drip feed her sheep little clips? Surely they are getting annoyed with the secrets and cryptic angles etc
Anyway rant over, back to sidelines ATV xxx

 

[Andioooop]

 

[Nevermindbekind]

I’m a garden designer and that definitely looks like astroturf in the last picture. No way could you build that shed on a lawn in winter and have it so perfect straight after the build. It would be a trampled muddy mess.
Also why the binoculars? Is she going to use them the wrong way round to try and make the poor Alpacas appear to have more room.
3 alpacas should have about half an acre (so say half a football pitch). This is wrong on so many levels

 

[Louisec19]

It’s literally a hat mum got for me, a seat dad made for me, a table dad made for me, a hatch dad made for me. Me, me fucking me. If that was me, I’d be having things made for the kids, she’s so self obsessed, she actually is a joke and she says a R’s little face, he loves animals - he’s not involved, he’s not being properly shown anything and he honestly looks like he couldn’t care less, just wants to go and play with toys and have his parents attention. She’s going so over the top, it’s almost unbelievable.

 

[Cat87]

Millionaire trying to appeal and relate by telling followers she just loooooved eating her dinner off a cardboard box table. While sitting in her million pound house.

Nice try!

 

[Bettygee]

That’s better

 

[mingeandbracket]

 

[lulu_234]

Long time lurker, first time poster!
I tried resisting, but failed - as the owner of a little pony and a horse I have some things to say in no particular order:
The woodchip put down inside the cell seem to be down on the grass rather than concrete or grass mats. That's going to get pretty boggy soon and as the shelter is bolted on a brick (not sure of the correct words) 'foundation' it's not like it can be easily moved around.
The hay feeder is tiny - would barely fit a slice of hay in, and as it's wood (they're usually made of thin metal) I imagine it will soon be chewed!
The shelter has a lot of exposed wood 'edges' - no metal trim, just inviting nibbling if the animals get bored.
I do believe that's a conifer hedge behind the shelter - conifer is poisonous to horses, so imagine it would be to ruminants too.
The cute Victorian lights on the outside are inviting being chewed/damaged - wouldn't usually be used around livestock.
Alpacas are tricky animals - susceptible to disease like any other so need experienced keepers. They need their teeth and toes regularly maintained - and also clipping each year. Also if she's planning on walking them, she will be needing to train them and get in practice...
I'll be brutally honest, I can't see her being the type of person to pull on her wellies and coat and muck them out in the pouring rain, in the depths of winter. Let alone keep them healthy the rest of the year!!
A few bunnies would be much nicer step into animal ownership

 

[lurkio21]

It’s irritating me so much that all she’s gone on and on about is those pissing alpacas in a shed only fit for that dog and her Dads workshop.

People may not like SS, but when she moved into her cottage, she told us straight away about the little play house / Christmas grotto for Rex and it was such a joy to see how excited she and her children were to get involved in making it their own. Same with their bedrooms, we saw that her eldest wanted to be close to each other and we saw the process of how they wanted it decorated etc and it really was nice to see her children so happy.

We’ve had a glimpse of a treehouse and a hint of what she’ll do in Ron’s room. No progress, no updates, not even a mention on Lennies room. If she wants to stay relatable, let’s see this? She’s supposed to be a cleaning account / home if she wants to go down that route so nobody gives a duck (keeping that typo for the bants) about what animals she can exploit for more tend likes.

If people want to see a farm, we’ll watch Jeremy Clarkson and the awesome Kaleb.

 

[ScrambledBegs]

Slightly off topic and without sounding like a weirdo , I am having a really rubbish couple of weeks and you nusty trolls have really lifted my spirits. I just wanted to say im fankooo . Off to have a cool bath as mum says that helps .

 

[Aunt Lydia]

Thread suggestion.

Mrs Hinch #489
My Dad made… My Mum said…
Ray, Rod & Roy will be cramped in the shed.

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

Right, bare with me Tattlers. Hoping I've worked this out right and it makes sense! Ever since @Blackdog quoted my post on the last thread about how she keeps gaining more and more ridiculous amounts of new followers each day, Blackdog said the actual numbers don't tally up right.
My head has been blown to smithereens tonight having a look in to this!!!! The sad thing is, is I was too thick to even realise the numbers weren't right haha. And something so simple to boot! But for any others like me who didn't know this:
So, over the period of Sat - Mon (yesterday) Hinch "gained" 13,946 new followers. If you add the green numbers up, that's the total.
However, the numbers at the side that shows her followers in the millions, actually shows a gain of only 9,120 followers. So in actual fact she is loosing a good few thousand followers a day. Within those 3 days she has lost 4,826. Which bizarrely works out the same as the top number from Saturday. .
It fries your brain working this out!!!!! I'm crap at maths as I stated earlier but thanks to Blackdog, I now know St Sopha is loosing fans.
The worst part is she is still gaining.
This has given me a headache now.
If anyone thinks this is not right or doesn't tally up, please correct me.

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

I reckon, if it's true they got the keys at the end of October: any building/decorating work was started then, if not before and finished by the middle of December. They were in and the alpacas arrived in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

I think even sooner. Aug 23rd, Jamie was already missing in action for a while and she posted about his “projects.”

 

[AllieBee]

I bet she thinks that shed is going to stay pristine and smelling of wood. Got to break it to you hinch. That's going to stink of piss and shit in no time, it will soak into the wood and that hut you built is going to really stink.