Mrs Hinch #417 - Oi oi shoppers, it’s 1k a hit, so I dragged sofa out to wash her bum bum innit
(Had to edit to fit)
Winning thread title by @deelicious
(Winning thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guysshhh
)
It was Mr and Mrs Hinch’s third wedding anniversary today. Three loooooong years of wedded bliss and that meant the pair of them were posting all day on Instagram to share their lurve with their fans... yes it was a day off for Sophie’s PND, anxiety and “struggles.”
Sophie marked the occasion by posting a photo of herself as the gypsy bride which only featured a slither of Jamie’s arm and a video of herself with Jamie talking about how wonderful she is. The best selling author then shared the moving words “Always Happy Anniversary Mr Hinch I Love You” which seemed to make a lot of mentally unstable people cry.
Jamie went all out for his ickle Princess Soph, prizing her off the sofa and throwing her into the audi that they didn’t buy, he whisked her off for a surprise night in a posh £1k a night hotel. Henry had gone off to a dog sitter and Ron and Len had been put behind the sofa so they were free for the night and they couldn’t wait to make the most of it.
During the drive Jamie was horrified to see Soph clean her sunglasses with her sock but this is a woman who dusted the bedside tables with his dirty undies. The socks were a step up. She also spent the journey reading messages from her fans and uploading photo montages of the kids such was the level of scintillating conversation from her beloved hubby.
One can only imagine the collective shudder that went through the staff and fellow guests when Wayne and Waynetta arrived. Soph was dressed up in style for her romantic break. Unfortunately the style she chose was that of a 15 year old chav on a date night at Wimpy. The old faithful Victoria’s Secrets trackie was on along with a pair of old slipper socks and a messy plait made up of some hair extensions and super noodles in case she fancied a snack later.
She needn’t have worried though as Jamie, ever the gent, had arranged for all her favourites to be in the room waiting for her, Ribena, Mugshots and even CHOCOLIT!
He really knows how to treat a laydeeeee.
After the sad realisation that his wedding waistcoat has shrunk in the wash *cough* Jamie was also clad in his best nylon trackie bottoms. Don’t run too fast up those stairs James you might singe your balls.
Jamie had really gone to town on Soph’s credit card and had booked a beautiful suite.
The bathroom was a revelation to them, two sinks seeming to be the highlight of Soph’s day, keen to keep it on brand as always she’ll have whipped her minky out to shine them up before the evening is over,
The bathroom was the gift that kept on giving with a huge shower that “could fit four of us in ‘ere” and a TV on the wall.
Little old Soph had never seen anything as posh as the bidet before..
“It’s for washing your bum bum innit” her charming host revealed.
Soph was also shocked to find a manky old bird in the living room fortunately it was a stuffed pheasant and Jamie hadn’t invited Freda Fiddle Fingers along.
Back in the bedroom and Jamie didn’t want to sleep in the rose petal strewn bed which is good as Soph probably doesn’t want him to either. There’s more chemistry going on in Sophie’s under sink cupboard.
He’s half child minder half David Brent and she’s like a bored school girl waiting to finish the date so she can text her mates and tell them what a prick he is.
Jamie then had the hotel staff in stitches after he was called to see if everything was satisfactory with the room and to find out if they wanted turn down service.
“Tern dan servuss me old mucker, I ‘ope I won’t be terned dan after this” oh god.
Outside there was worrying news that there’s a hot tub on their balcony and we can but prey they lose internet access this evening just in case Jamie can tempt her out from behind the lamp and into the tub..
They lay on sun loungers in the freezing cold munching mugshots and crisps as a tender exchange between the pair took place...
“Love you darlin’...”
“Woo hoo hoo hooo”
It felt intrusive to witness such an intimate moment.
Whilst sunbathing Soph revealed it feels like ages since they’ve been abroad. 18 months to be precise Soph and you’re still not abroad you silly mare, but when you go remember to take an extra suitcase for the mugshots because they don’t serve those in Paris either.
And now for a game of Spot The Difference. The winner gets a years supply of Mug Shots and the loser gets a weekend away with Jamie.
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
(Had to edit to fit)
Winning thread title by @deelicious
(Winning thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guysshhh
) It was Mr and Mrs Hinch’s third wedding anniversary today. Three loooooong years of wedded bliss and that meant the pair of them were posting all day on Instagram to share their lurve with their fans... yes it was a day off for Sophie’s PND, anxiety and “struggles.”
Sophie marked the occasion by posting a photo of herself as the gypsy bride which only featured a slither of Jamie’s arm and a video of herself with Jamie talking about how wonderful she is. The best selling author then shared the moving words “Always Happy Anniversary Mr Hinch I Love You” which seemed to make a lot of mentally unstable people cry.
Jamie went all out for his ickle Princess Soph, prizing her off the sofa and throwing her into the audi that they didn’t buy, he whisked her off for a surprise night in a posh £1k a night hotel. Henry had gone off to a dog sitter and Ron and Len had been put behind the sofa so they were free for the night and they couldn’t wait to make the most of it.
During the drive Jamie was horrified to see Soph clean her sunglasses with her sock but this is a woman who dusted the bedside tables with his dirty undies. The socks were a step up. She also spent the journey reading messages from her fans and uploading photo montages of the kids such was the level of scintillating conversation from her beloved hubby.
One can only imagine the collective shudder that went through the staff and fellow guests when Wayne and Waynetta arrived. Soph was dressed up in style for her romantic break. Unfortunately the style she chose was that of a 15 year old chav on a date night at Wimpy. The old faithful Victoria’s Secrets trackie was on along with a pair of old slipper socks and a messy plait made up of some hair extensions and super noodles in case she fancied a snack later.
She needn’t have worried though as Jamie, ever the gent, had arranged for all her favourites to be in the room waiting for her, Ribena, Mugshots and even CHOCOLIT!
He really knows how to treat a laydeeeee.
After the sad realisation that his wedding waistcoat has shrunk in the wash *cough* Jamie was also clad in his best nylon trackie bottoms. Don’t run too fast up those stairs James you might singe your balls.
Jamie had really gone to town on Soph’s credit card and had booked a beautiful suite.
The bathroom was a revelation to them, two sinks seeming to be the highlight of Soph’s day, keen to keep it on brand as always she’ll have whipped her minky out to shine them up before the evening is over,
The bathroom was the gift that kept on giving with a huge shower that “could fit four of us in ‘ere” and a TV on the wall.
Little old Soph had never seen anything as posh as the bidet before..
“It’s for washing your bum bum innit” her charming host revealed.
Soph was also shocked to find a manky old bird in the living room fortunately it was a stuffed pheasant and Jamie hadn’t invited Freda Fiddle Fingers along.
Back in the bedroom and Jamie didn’t want to sleep in the rose petal strewn bed which is good as Soph probably doesn’t want him to either. There’s more chemistry going on in Sophie’s under sink cupboard.
He’s half child minder half David Brent and she’s like a bored school girl waiting to finish the date so she can text her mates and tell them what a prick he is.
Jamie then had the hotel staff in stitches after he was called to see if everything was satisfactory with the room and to find out if they wanted turn down service.
“Tern dan servuss me old mucker, I ‘ope I won’t be terned dan after this” oh god.
Outside there was worrying news that there’s a hot tub on their balcony and we can but prey they lose internet access this evening just in case Jamie can tempt her out from behind the lamp and into the tub..
They lay on sun loungers in the freezing cold munching mugshots and crisps as a tender exchange between the pair took place...
“Love you darlin’...”
“Woo hoo hoo hooo”
It felt intrusive to witness such an intimate moment.
Whilst sunbathing Soph revealed it feels like ages since they’ve been abroad. 18 months to be precise Soph and you’re still not abroad you silly mare, but when you go remember to take an extra suitcase for the mugshots because they don’t serve those in Paris either.
And now for a game of Spot The Difference. The winner gets a years supply of Mug Shots and the loser gets a weekend away with Jamie.
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
I dunno yano I think mad ma would be more Wendy Richard Kelly’s mum having a scrap with Madge 
Manky old bird.. Ffs I have literally just pissed myself 
