Mrs Hinch #208 pre recorded content, pre rolled pastry, nothing she cooks ever looks tasty.

[watermelon sugar]

The Adventures of Ron & Hen...

So this morning at 5am the light shone through the window 'RAAAAHHHHHH' Shouted Ron from his bedroom. 'Uuuuuurgh. You get up, Jaymehhh im going for a fag" jaymehhh jumps out of bed while Sophie pops a fag in her mouth and grabs her phone 'Tattle life' she types into the search bar. 'What have these bastards been saying about me today?'
Off Sophie goes down the stairs and onto her wooden bench while she puffs on her fag. 'Jamies Ronnies favourite is he yeah?' She says, scrolling through Tattle. She stumps out her fag and puts it in the hidden ashtray under her George Foreman.
Sophie goes into the house where Jaymehh is sitting on the couch watching Peppa Pig with Ron on one side of the couch and Hen on the other. 'What the fuck are you doing? Get him behind the sofa. Too much colour in Peppa Pig it isn't grey enough'
Sophie picks up Ron and puts him behind the sofa at 'Ronnies Burgers' Ron snarls her and starts to play with his kitchen.
'Right fatty, stand next to Ron and ill get a pic'
*Sophie takes a picture of Ron and Hen snarling* 'ugh Jaymeh stand behind me and make them look happy'
Jamie gets behind Sophie and smiles at Ron and he smiles *Sophie takes pic*
"Right Henry go for a piss and do whatever you want for the rest of the day. No walks!"
Hen runs out the back door thinking 'thank God I'm away from them pair. Could do with a walk though'
'Right. ALEXA! Play Whitney Houston!'
Ron groans "for fuck sake... not again..." Ron wiggles his bum. "I hope I'm not still doing this when I'm 18"

The end x

 

[Whatsallthis]

Never mind Ron Dons walking, WTF is Jamie wearing? I thought it was boxers at first but now I’m not so sure. He can’t possibly go out in those??

 

[14 bacon rolls]

Thread suggestion:

Papped in poundland, straight onto tattle. Jamie's arse and shorts are having a battle.

 

[legsbumsandtums]

Just leaving this here as a little hint for hinch. Stop being such a greedy twat.

 

[Browniesbxo]

OMG guyszzzz. All I said was stop trying to make Ron & hen happen.

 

[GrabThePopcorn]

In poundland Witham RIGHT NOW! She actually looks I'll in person, she's soooo skinny. Couldn't get a better pic Jamie was like her security guard scanning all around her

 

[CoffeeAndcake]

 

[yummymoon]

I’m glad she made it clear that it was THEIR Ronnie who was still asleep otherwise I might have thought she had Ronnie Wood or Ronnie O’Sullivan or the two Ronnies asleep in the spare room.

 

[14 bacon rolls]

Jesus

 

[Clangers2]

This sounds bad but I am so sick of looking at Ronnie. I am sick at the sight of him. And his slow mo movements. Sick of the smile looking past his mother. No shoes at a farm not t shirt no hat. And FFS cut off those long tufts over his ears when he is bald on top, it don't do him any favours!!
I reckon Ronnie throws major tantrums and she afraid to go against him cause she knows he can't stand her at the best of times. I'm unfollowing cause I can't look at that child again. Fucking Whitney Houston again. Oh god that montage has taken years off me this morning. The way Ronnie pulled Henry's ear yesterday too. So dangerous and mum a mile away fucking videoing him. The whole set up is just too weird for me. The slowed down videos of him just makes him look really slow and behind or something. Ive 2 kids but I am sick at the sight of him. I her content is pathetic is this what people what to see. Who actually gives a fuck I have my own two beautiful babies who love me to fawn over I don't need yours in my puss every day. Rant over I'm done

 

[Eleanor Abernathy]

This may be the pettiest thing I have ever written, but those Fairy doors are meant to go against something so it looks like it’s a little door into a tree or a wall. That’s really annoyed me

 

[Miss Loves-to-gossip]

Book idea:

The very hungry Ronniepillar

On Monday Ron ate one turmeric covered cucumber flower and said to himself ‘FML” whilst some woman filmed him eating it

On Tuesday Ron ate two splodges of something resembling the contents of Hen’s poop bag whilst the camerawoman screeched in his face

On Wednesday Ron ate 3 egg vom parcels and was becoming rather sick of his mummaz crap attempts at cooking

On Thursday Ron ate 4 pieces of dog ham whilst Hen chomped away on some sirloin steak (only the best for mummaz first born son)

On Friday Ron ate 5 pieces of some yoghurt and egg concoction before projectile vomiting all over Hen. Hen just sat there like Scooby-Doo licking it off himself (literally like a pig in muck)

On Saturday Ron ate 6 beef burgers off the George Foreman because mummaz is still trying to pretend she hasn’t got a BBQ after she took the piss out of the NHS by holding a garden party during lockdown

On Sunday Ron climbed down from his high chair and pissed off to Ma Barkers for an Aunt Bessies finest Sunday lllunchh

The End

 

[watermelon sugar]

Thread suggestion - ALEEXXUURR! Please don't play Whitney again, for the love of God.

 

[Fluffyducks]

THREAD SUGGESTION

Ronnie’s now walking without the dead dog, whilst Mr Inch is recording himself pining the bog

 

[Kittykitty]

The next episode of “The adventures of Ron and Hen” is going to include a trip to A&E after Hen mauls Ron’s arm for pulling his ear.

 

[weebee]

I’m sorry but the videos of her son dancing every morning.....think about it, actually break down what’s happening there. Every morning she sets him up, gets the camera ready, plays the song and starts to record. He’s not a performing monkey!

 

[MrsPurchase]

In poundland Witham RIGHT NOW! She actually looks I'll in person, she's soooo skinny. Couldn't get a better pic Jamie was like her security guard scanning all around her

Wow! Well done on the great spot out in the wild. She’s had the extensions Put back in then

 

[watermelon sugar]

The adventures of Ron & Hen Part 2

It was a Thursday morning. The cleaners were in and the Hinch's needed to go somewhere for content and to get out the house while it is deep cleaned.
"Let me search for somewhere shitty so we look like we help the community on Insta." Said soph. "Ah here we go. Marsh Farm!"
"Awrite babe. Let me just nip the bookies and put 200 quid on the worst horse to win."
Jamie nips out in his super tight shorts. Soph noticed she could see his mint imperials through the shorts. She couldn't be bothered to tell him.
"Right let's get you dressed" Soph said picking up Ron.
Soph tried picking up Ron. But suddenly Ron had developed super walking and running powers. He legged it from behind the sofa and up the stairs, because low and behold! There was no stair gate. Up the stairs he went and into one of the 20 bathrooms. He grabbed a bottle of Zoflora and threw it at Hen who had ran up the stairs with him. Soph appeared, flustered. "No! Give it here!"
Ron grabbed hold of the talc that was also in the cupboard. He launched at Soph and she got covered in talc.
"FOR FUCK SAKE!" screamed Soph.
Then Jamie appeared, back from the bookies. "What's going on eyah babe?" He kisses her neck "fuckan hell! What's that on your neck?"
"Fuckin hell! I'm going for a fag" moaned Soph, storming out the bathroom popping a fag in her mouth and opening Tattle on her browser

 

[Sazz1006]

Never mind Ron Dons walking, WTF is Jamie wearing? I thought it was boxers at first but now I’m not so sure. He can’t possibly go out in those??

There’s not a lot going off in those sweatshorts is there ? He’s forgotten to get his spherical shapes out of Zowf’s Louis Vuitton bag

 

[Blackjack2]

Thread Suggestion

Those shorts are tight they don’t half pinch no wonder they call him Mr inch