Money related - Home Deposit - Bank of Mum and Dad/ self-earned/ inheritance

[Mememememe]

I get what you mean. I think is okay when people get help from their parents. The issue I have is when people think the rest of us did not work as 'hard' or as 'aspired' as them.
A 10k help is still massive, I know people are saying quit the avocado/ fancy coffee but that is such a tiny proportion of spending VS what we needed to save

It ALL adds up though. You need to spend a good day/weekend fully evaluating all your finances.
Everything. From the bills to the coffees.
Change suppliers, change insurances, make sure everything that you Must pay for comes out of the bank on the day you are paid. Have soeeate bank account for things like food.. Clothes etc ( monzo is great you can have pots and separate all your money so you can see where it belongs. Eg I put 350 a month in my grocery pot so I know I have my food paid for already)

 

[Bubble And Squeak]

My gran left me and my brother her bank account balance which we split! I have spent some but have kept 30k and also adding my own savings to this. My boyfriend’s dad has been saving for him since he was born and said he will match what I have in my bank. I don’t think I’ll spend anymore than 80-100k which we will put a 50% deposit down and keep the rest for furniture, decorating and anything else that may need done, we will be first time buyers - not looking to buy for another 3 years though

 

[Meh]

Saved every penny of our own. Both our parents are not well off so a gift or loan was never a question.

Bought our place in last 10 years. A modest 3 bed end terrace but the back garden looks exclusively onto a golf course (don’t worry; it’s not St Andrews ). 5% deposit was on offer at the time but not shared equity (thankfully!) Love our little place and by time we are planning to sell we will only have about £40k left on the mortgage. Money from the sale and our savings will allow us to buy our final/dream place.

Best bit of advice? Don’t overly stretch yourself on your first place. We took a place that 1 of us could cover bills/mortgage for in event of job loss or redundancy. I nearly sweated buckets when I seen the AIP offer from Halifax willing to lend us over £300k on my old (previously quite shit wage) realise £300k is NOTHING to most house buyers down South but in Scotland (Central Scotland especially) that’s McMansion material

 

[Lumpfish]

couldn’t agree more with this... I struggle very much to be happy for my friends who were given everything from their parents... I know it’s not their fault but they truly need to put their hands together and thank the lord that they had such a helping hand

Thanks for saying this! I struggle with these feelings too but then feel bad for being bitter! I think it’s more that the people I know act self made when it’s all their parents money so that’s what’s annoying!

 

[GiftedNotFree]

I've never told anyone this (IRL)- but here's my story.
I bought my detached house in 2015. On my own.
It was £153k.
I paid in cash.
All my own money- I didn't have (and refused) a penny from anyone. If that makes me sound smug and superior, read on.....

I'd lived all my life at home with my mother. She had chronic post-natal depression with me, so much so that my dad walked out, she had blamed me for it and since that age I had been the "man of the house" (I'm male BTW). I was never "allowed" to go on a holiday, buy clothes, even buy food for myself as it would send her into a depressed state. But I put up with it as it was all I'd ever known.
Had my first nervous breakdown at 17. Went to Uni (local as I wasn't "allowed" to move out) and got a job. After a few years I had a decent salary (£45k at one point, less now). I literally had no life though- no friends, nothing to spend money on (I remember buying a £4 kebab one night on my way back from work and mum crying as I had "no idea about money"- I was paying her rent and food costs, didn't sped any other money).
If I wanted clothes I was expected to buy them from a charity shop. I was a manager at work and expected to wear suits/ smart clothes.

Anyway- after having another breakdown in 2015 (a bad one- I ended up in A&E after seriously suicidal thoughts and exhaustion) I decided that I would move out. It had never been discussed, and I was 36 at this point. My entire life was about what my mother wanted. The counsellors I had after my breakdown described it as domestic/emotional abuse.

So long story short- yes, I saved enough money over 10 years to buy a house outright, but my God it cost me a lot. And I wish I'd have moved out 20 years earlier and struggled.

. Wow, you’ve been through so much but also achieved so much! You should feel proud about overcoming such horrendous obstacles. Resilience is such a wonderful thing to have and you will have it in spades! Hopefully you’ve found some peace now.

 

[TheMeg]

I love threads like this and reading other peoples experiences. I would be a first time buyer going it alone and it terrifies me. I have a good deposit that has taken me YEARS to save but I still live with parents and am 39! I’m just so scared to take the plunge and do it on my own.

 

[Be creative]

I’m in Scotland (central) and bought my first house last year at 30 (got the keys the day after my 30th birthday... happy birthday me lol).

It’s a 1 bed and a box and I paid £120k. Where I live is super expensive, so I made a compromise on size for location.

My dad died in 2014 and I got 10k from his estate at the beginning of 2015. I then continued to build on that for the next 3 years, on and off, no regular big amounts until the last year or so where I put £900 per month into my savings.

Stayed with mum the whole time and luckily she asked for no dig money until the last year or so. So all I had was my phone and car payments (which did clear in 2018) and whatever I chose to spend.

i put a 20k deposit down and had about 10k left in my savings to do/buy what I wanted to for the house. I work in a lawyers so my legal fees only cost me £300 which I know I’m really lucky with.

I started saving again anywhere from £300-£500 a month depending on what I can spare, and now have 6.5k in my savings whilst I’m building them up again.

My best friend got gifted 50 grand from her dad “just because” when she was 18 for her first flat, and now lives in a house worth 270k. Green eyes get me sometimes, but at the end of the day, I’m proud I saved the rest on top of my dads money all by myself without a handout and have learned the benefits to being savvy with money now.

spreadsheets and a constant review of your bank account are your best friends when saving

 

[Freebies_come2me]

Oh absolutely the total number sounds scary and I think too many negative articles on house prices actually stop people saving! I know so many people on good incomes who say "whats the point in saving, I'll never be able to afford to buy" and I'm like !!! you earn twice as much as me, if I can save you can!
Start with the 50/30/20 ratio and tweak it slightly according to your actual situation and go from there. You guys have a pretty big income, once you work out your budget you will be flying!

Thank you for this, I think despite what people say shit about tattle life like we are a bunch of losers lol! Coming here, makes you realised that sometimes you can do things that you thought you can't

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

We are up north so houses are a lot cheaper. We both worked and saved to buy our place. Our mortgage payment was half what our rent was for a very similar house when we first moved in, 4 years later our mortgage payment is really quite low. Deposit was £13k.

Things were more difficult as we had a child in childcare while we were saving. We lived with a Parent for 12 months but we only had one v average income at the time (£24k) Once we were both working, we had rent to pay and a full time child care place.

For us it was just about cutting back, no nights out, no takeaways, doing a meal plan and doing a weekly shop at Aldi or Lidl. Buying stuff 2nd hand for our child. It was worth the hardship though as now ironically our income is a lot higher and our house outgoings less.

I will say though we were used to living frugally, when we had our first child, we survived only due to tax credits. I had moved country to live with my partner and subsequently quit my job then found out I was expecting, my OH was still in uni. So I’ve gone through periods where I didn’t eat to feed my child. So I feel so grateful now to be where we are and both lucky to have stable secure jobs.

 

[Pixipoppy]

I am always curious too! I’ve been saving for about 3 years and have just under £7k saved, my partner has about £3k - My parents are going to lend us £10k for a deposit when the time comes. We will probably do help to buy unless 5/10% mortgages come back soon. Prices of older houses in our area we have looked at were £180k - £220k but they would need quite a bit of work doing to them. We’re some of the last of our friendship group to get on the ladder, most of the others either had generous donations from parents or had some sort of inheritance.

 

[kev1974]

It just fascinates me, the houses in my area cost 550k at least, a 10% deposit is 55k and that is without stamp duty etc. How do people afford it, and how much do they actually need to earn per month.

We are earning 90k annually combined, I don't see how we can ever save up 55k at least

This is not realistic (i know), on insta, I constantly see people buy a house, reno, host wedding and go honeymoon, in the span of 2 years, how the fuck do you afford that. I need some tips haha!

The future is bleak

Well you will have to look at what exactly you're managing to burn through £90k a year on, whilst also considering if the £550k area is where you really need to be and can you start with a place a bit cheaper in a lesser area down the road a bit I guess!

 

[Anon879]

I’ve lived in London all my life. Moved out of home when I was 24 and rented privately until I bought my own place when I was 31.

I needed around £28k for deposit and fees, and I saved it all myself while renting. I have a large 1 bed in a small purpose built block (2 floors) in Zone 3 London making my commute under 40 mins (including walking time). I paid £240k for it.

Please don’t believe buying in London is impossible or that all entry level properties are small and crappy conversions. There are some absolute gems out there but you have to be patient and willing to compromise. Ideally I would have had a second bedroom, but I sacrificed that to be in a small and private development in the ideal location.

Don’t get me wrong I’m very aware that this has all been aided by a very healthy salary (from saving to now it has ranged from £44k-£65k) but I will caveat that I never went to university, because in my industry graduates do get significantly better packages than those without (my first salary was £12k vs a grad at £21k despite the roles being pretty much identical). I’ve worked my butt off to earn that salary and to having my own home.

It’s all boiled down to wanting it hard enough, if I’m being completely honest.

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

I live in Eaat London,born here,I lived with mum and dad in Council property,nooo way could they ever afford their own home both were factory workers,when I met husband were renting flat,then 100%mortgages was introduced this was back early eighties ,So we got this One bedroom flat,ideal paid £17.950.then the interest rate went sky high to 15%..then we had negative equity,anyway ‘89 me and OH split,I stayed in flat,I’m still soddin here Been here yonks,property prices now sky high.

 

[Happy35]

I gifted my son his deposit, have told him it’s an advance if his inheritance.

I saved my own deposit years ago and bought a 2 bed that was falling to bits, my son has been able to buy a new build semi. I only have 1 child and didn’t want him to struggle, he is really grateful and knows he has been lucky.

 

[Lumpfish]

Love this thread! I am constantly on RightMove looking for houses and then wondering how people ever afford them! Crazy prices in my area minimum 400k for a run down 3 bed in a bad area

 

[Mickybrowneyes]

I bought my London flat in 2000. No help from my parents towards it. Saved like a bastard for years beforehand barely going out, then to actually buy it had to max out several credit cards and then probably 5 years of living frugally until I got back on top of them. These days they ask you about credit card debt so you can't do that so easily (luckily). I remember that I paid an extra £1000 on the flat (which the owner kindly let me pay 3 months later) for all the crappy furniture in it that he'd been renting it out with. Wasn't until about 2016 that I finally got a new bed frame and new sofa.

Apart from being able to borrow a little extra on credit cards back then, it was just as hard a battle for us to buy something in 2000 as it is for people today. You just have to stop buying £3.50 artisan coffees several times a day and do without the fancy but pricey gins in the pub every weekend!

I love reading these types of stories, thank you for giving me hope that I can do it on my ownxx

 

[Mooordgirl]

I've never told anyone this (IRL)- but here's my story.
I bought my detached house in 2015. On my own.
It was £153k.
I paid in cash.
All my own money- I didn't have (and refused) a penny from anyone. If that makes me sound smug and superior, read on.....

I'd lived all my life at home with my mother. She had chronic post-natal depression with me, so much so that my dad walked out, she had blamed me for it and since that age I had been the "man of the house" (I'm male BTW). I was never "allowed" to go on a holiday, buy clothes, even buy food for myself as it would send her into a depressed state. But I put up with it as it was all I'd ever known.
Had my first nervous breakdown at 17. Went to Uni (local as I wasn't "allowed" to move out) and got a job. After a few years I had a decent salary (£45k at one point, less now). I literally had no life though- no friends, nothing to spend money on (I remember buying a £4 kebab one night on my way back from work and mum crying as I had "no idea about money"- I was paying her rent and food costs, didn't sped any other money).
If I wanted clothes I was expected to buy them from a charity shop. I was a manager at work and expected to wear suits/ smart clothes.

Anyway- after having another breakdown in 2015 (a bad one- I ended up in A&E after seriously suicidal thoughts and exhaustion) I decided that I would move out. It had never been discussed, and I was 36 at this point. My entire life was about what my mother wanted. The counsellors I had after my breakdown described it as domestic/emotional abuse.

So long story short- yes, I saved enough money over 10 years to buy a house outright, but my God it cost me a lot. And I wish I'd have moved out 20 years earlier and struggled.

Thats really tough - I hope you've found happiness

 

[Titntat]

I got some inheritance money - 15k.
At 21 Put 15k down on my first house in 2013 (95k) 2 bed terrace all done up (there was abit of a crash in the market. Pervious owners brought it in 2011 for £115k and spent a fortune gutting it. It was risky for us as my partner was on a apprenticeship and I was on a 0 hours contract.

Sold it in 2013 for £115k. So we used the 20k, 18k we had in the house (deposit and mortgage we had paid off) and 12k savings we had. We put 40k down on this house in 2013. Paid £190 for it. We've spent about 15k on it and just had it valued at £240k.

If we hadn't had the inheritance we wouldn't have been able to buy our first house. So we would probably still be in a starter property. We took some risks but it all paid off.

We are up north in a nice area near the peak district. Its only 3 bedrooms (all double( but we don't need any more, a big plot of land with a double garage. Superb schools and its amazing for the kids being that close to nature. I don't know how people do it in London, I'd have to sell a child and a kidney.

Not planning on moving until the kids have moved out, it will be a one bed so they can't come back and no sleepovers for grandkids

 

[Ineedmorecoffee]

We were lucky to live in the days of 100% mortgages when we bought our first home in 2001. 2 bed semi for £52k.

DH did have about £10k from the sale of his house with his ex, but I had nothing to put in so he kept the cash and we both went in as equals on the house.

We’ve only moved once since then and only to a modest 3 bed. However we are self employed with no pensions and have invested elsewhere. I love our home and in just over 3 years it will be entirely ours and no one can take it away.

 

[Gggshh]

We saved 16k together over a couple of years whilst renting. We live on south coast. However the house we bought needed new roof and new windows so MIL gifted us/paid for this before we completed- it was her old house! We would never have been able to do it without this help!