MOD & FOD #19 Slymon’s too sexy for the gram, too sexy for the gram, Tenerife and Japaaaan.

[CyanideKiss]

I remember listening to an interview the FODs gave a while back, where Slymon admitted that Gimmie was uninterested in sex. I'm not bloody surprised!

Watching videos of him bedecked in fairy lights, or waggling those stupid dog ears, my vagina slams shut like a medieval portcullis.

 

[Tothemoonandback]

The irony of FOD commenting on ManversusBaby’s post about Harry protecting his families privacy

I’m no royalist whatsoever but FOD describing the Queen as “getting her knickers in a twist” (purely based on his own speculation) shows deeply ingrained misogyny I’m afraid. I thought he was all about ‘raising 4 strong women’ ? How would he feel if one of his daughter’s concerns were brushed off by a man as her being “hysterical” and “getting their knickers in a twist” “calm down dear” etc etc. Pathetic bloke.

 

[Twinkle]

You’re welcome

 

[Cabbagepatch]

I'm starting to get a little confused by the steadiness of the decline in followers. Hundreds are unfollowing daily, even on days when he does not post. For example, almost 300 unfollowed on 6th January, when he hadn't posted for a week and this would have been the first day back at work/school for a lot of people (so I wouldn't have thought a big day for people doing an instagram cull when they've already had the holidays). What was tipping people over the edge about FOD on that day? Is it possible that some of it is attributable to instagram cleaning out bots and fake accounts?

Possibly. And maybe some of the none UK “Where’s Clemmie?” followers have googled her and found out what happened and now realise they’ve been sold a lie.

There’s a great come back idea. A series of “Where’s Clemmie?” books where you have to search the scene, a festival, a cool east London bar, busy aligning herself with celebrities, or just having some well deserved “me time“. You have to find old school “Mother” sweatshirt and fringe MOD and then fringe in clip, an ill fitting smock dress and an ugly boot MOD. Extra points it you can find FOD trying to electrocute himself with fairy lights all for the LOL’s.

 

[Sven]

Chanandler Bong, your content’s all wrong!

There’s my terrible submission haha

 

[Rosieee]

It’s so over for them. It looks like they decided to finally stop showing the kids faces and they have nothing without that. Dancing with Christmas lights on and perving on cheerleaders won’t bring on the big old #ad revenues. It’s just a matter of time for him to decide how long can he loose his dignity for trying to hang in there. It’s so funny because I’m going back to work from maternity leave soon and I’m feeling much better this time around. Last maternity leave I felt like a failure following these instamums, like my life was shite not having my own house, the holidays and the time or money to go out with my fabulous friends. Now 2 years later I feel grand knowing this was all fake and free so of course I couldn’t afford it and also that my kids are safe from the internet and that our “normal” life is the best thing you can offer them. Thank you Tattle for the eye opener and thank you the OD for your wonderful self sabotage skills !

 

[HouseRed]

Thanks, guys. Love me some Right Said Fred or Right SOD FOD

 

[skronkywildcat]

MOD/FOD #20 - Followers dropping, boots sopping, shop bopping, the man's a fucking salad.

(nothing rhymes with salad).

 

[FrannyGallops]

Too far, Simon. Too far I don’t think his followers need a lecture on how to talk about sex to their kids.

‘Daddy, what’s a bellend?’

‘You’re looking at one, kids’

 

[Stupidis]

Exactly.

 

[skronkywildcat]

What's next?

A). A really forced thing about how both twins 'want the blue one' - Simon rolling his eyes and asking the camera "why can't they share!???"
B). A detective drama based on the loss of a cuddly toy - Simon in trilby and Trenchcoat/Simon shining angle poise lamp in twin's face "When did you last see Bun-Bun".
C). A visit to a wildlife park. Simon doing animal impressions to unimpressed twins. Simon sitting in cafe with twins with giant ice-creams. "You pay good money to take them to interesting places and all the want is AN ICE CREAM" - [mugging/shrugging to camera].

VOTE NOW!!

 

[GreyWolf]

It’s not mumsnet baby name thread I’m not fussed what anyone wants to call their kids. I like all their names, know 2 Frederica’s and have no issues with people abbreviating their names.... I don’t really like people using their kids to make money though.

 

[houseofhoop]

I couldn’t agree more...

 

[Bizziebody]

Love boy names on girls. Freddie is a great name for a girl.

Yes , I like Elizabeth for a boy too, it's just so metro sexual.

 

[Rosieee]

Mother pukka putting the final nail in the coffin

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

You’d think now they’re potentially just down to his income that he’d know better than to post that he’s bored during a working day.

If he is still a consultant working agency side his clients will be billed by the hour for him, at director level for a big firm that’s easily over £500 p/h. If I was a SMB owner, or even a stakeholder in a mega biz, seeing our director of XYZ who’s billed for 8 hours today doing that I’d flip my shit. You have to be SO careful with what you put on socials anyway because clients can be bellends about anything, much less saying you were on their call dressed like a fucking illuminated clown.

 

[VarmaFarger]

Off topic but what does it mean when someone follows you on here? Had someone who’s never posted follow me

Oooh, I don't think I have any followers on here. Where can I buy some?

 

[WhittlingIhopMonkey]

What's even sadder is thinking about the fact you just KNOW he went to the supermarket JUST to buy hot dogs just for that picture, chuckling away to himself thinking 'THISLL BE FUNNY COS A WEINER IS JUST LIKE A WILLY, TEE HEE! IM MAD ME. MAD!'

Then How many takes he had to do practising his stupid mock scared faces ('IMAGINE THAT SAUSAGE WAS MY WILLY GUYS! NOOOOOOOO! LOL!' ), the instructions he had to give his DD to play along, the thought of him scrolling through that photographic detritus trying pick the most WACKY photo to tweak and then upload? Must've taken hours

Honestly how did Clemmie conceive any kids with him, never mind 4. He is about as sexy as Fozzy Bear ('WACCA WACCA, IM IMPLYING CHOPPING A WILLY OFF! WACCA WACCA!')

 

[Wolf359]

Maybe they’re protecting the dog’s privacy???

 

[Curio]

I think he might have had an influence on that Telegraph article - because there’s a grammatical error in it.