Mental Health Days & Work

[Fin]

I've experienced both extremes during my time. A corporate organisation I worked for a number of years ago paid for me to have 6 sessions of private counselling to help me on the road to recovery, they treated me really well. On the other hand, a large NHS hospital I worked at a few years ago sent me to Occupational Health, monitored all my sick leave and made me feel I was being constantly watched. It was awful. My parents had both died within just over a year of one another, all our jobs were changed and we had to reapply for our own jobs, I was being bullied by my manager and several colleagues and in the end I had a breakdown and ended up self-harming. You'd think a hospital would show more compassion wouldn't you, but that place was a bed of vipers.

That's really awful, I hope you are in a better place health wise now, I've heard it's not unusual in the NHS workforce ie staff treated badly. I worked for a corporate organisation and they had an in-house counsellor whom we were actively encouraged to see and they treated their staff incredibly well. A colleague's son sadly died while he was out of the country and the company immediately stepped in and did everything in their power to help her, including arranging and paying for flights etc.

 

[Noname12345]

My employer, as an organisation, is dealing with MH issues well. Anxiety is listed as a reason to call in sick. On the other hand, my dept is a bit behind. They (the management) are trying to be understanding and sensitive about the issues, but they are reluctant to allow flexible working or working from home. It's bad, because people could work from home even on 80% of their abilities, but instead they call in sick and get paid for sitting at home, where they could work if they wanted to

 

[working9-5]

My experience is that employers like to be seen to be supporting mental health but when it comes down to it they couldn’t give a toss.

 

[Smallpotato]

I've experienced both extremes during my time. A corporate organisation I worked for a number of years ago paid for me to have 6 sessions of private counselling to help me on the road to recovery, they treated me really well. On the other hand, a large NHS hospital I worked at a few years ago sent me to Occupational Health, monitored all my sick leave and made me feel I was being constantly watched. It was awful. My parents had both died within just over a year of one another, all our jobs were changed and we had to reapply for our own jobs, I was being bullied by my manager and several colleagues and in the end I had a breakdown and ended up self-harming. You'd think a hospital would show more compassion wouldn't you, but that place was a bed of vipers.

I had the same experience as you in the NHS. I had a very bad mental health breakdown and when I explained what was happening, I was told to toughen up.

 

[Lucy102]

that’s completely disgusting. How awful for you. If you are signed off by a doctor they should not be contacting you. I would say a quick check in nearer the end of your sick leave just to see where you are in terms of returning to work, but for the rest of the time you should be left alone.

bet that manager wouldn’t want to be treated the way they treated you if they went through something similar. Some people are so cold and uncaring. I hope you’re in a better place now.

I had members of staff messaging me who didn't and shouldn’t have know why i was off in the first place, as far as they were concerned i was just on holiday or off. I know they were trying to be nice and ‘check in’ but it must have meant my manager had told everyone the reason why i was off. Which i really didn't appreciate and made me worse cause i was worried about everyone talking about me. I found out that there was a few that were saying things behind my back (manager included) thank you, i am getting there slowly.

in this day we live in where mental heath is more openly talked about, i was shocked that my workplace were less than understanding about it and all they really cared about was replacing me, before i’d even left.

 

[Bumblebee]

I currently work for the local authority in a school related environment and while I’ve not had issues I know that they are quite closed to staff having mental health issues. Which is incredibly worrying as one of the things the pupils come to us for is mental health.
When my mental health was at its worst I was working in the NHS as a midwife and it was awful. No help or support, just battling against being warned about disciplinary action for too much time off etc.
My friends husband works for a large USA IT company but here in the UK and they are huge supporter of mental well-being. Rooms for rest and planned but not forced activity such as yoga. Staff gym, healthy snacks for free plus plenty of outdoor space etc. Oh and good pay as well which can be a major factor in some people’s mental well-being.

 

[Mycuppatea]

I've never worked in a job where there was leeway for mental or even physical health issues, largely because i worked for small businesses (where the boss would crawl into work no matter what) or small charities who expected me to want to sacrifice myself on their altar. I struggle with chronic illness and also generalised anxiety and PTSD. The constant stress of forcing myself to go in or face the phone calls and even door knocks by my boss and having colleagues report that they'd seen me buying groceries while I was "supposed to be ill" (hello, who else was going to do it? My fairy godmother?) was awful. But I do understand - a business can't necessarily deal with long term or sporadic, unexpected absences but the way I was treated was frankly abusive.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I went to the doctors yesterday in the hope of being signed off as I really can’t cope at the minute but the doctor said because I’m not actively suicidal it’s not a concern for him. I’m so sad and feel really let down.

Oh bloody hell that is awful. He sounds appalling. I'm sure you can't be bothered at all but you are well within your rights to put in a complaint I should think. You don't have to be suicidal to need time off do you?
So sorry you are feeling like this.

 

[Spencerskates]

Sorry you are feeling like that. Could you self certify for a few days then arrange to see a different Dr? What kind of unsupported attitude is that. Such a shame you experienced that.

Oh bloody hell that is awful. He sounds appalling. I'm sure you can't be bothered at all but you are well within your rights to put in a complaint I should think. You don't have to be suicidal to need time off do you?
So sorry you are feeling like this.

Hope I’ve done the quotes right!
Thank you both for the support, I could self certify but I feel like I’m not being taken seriously anyway and that won’t help even more if it’s just my word rather than my doctor. There’s been a few people that I work with who have felt the same and been signed off so I just feel like it’s being dismissed.
Sorry to rant here, I don’t really feel like I’ve got any friends to talk to about it as I feel like they’re getting fed up with it anyway.

 

[Trixabellee9393]

I struggle with my mental health too. Which makes it hard to do well at work although I just carry on most days absolutely exhausted. I went through an awful period of insomnia in 2018 and over around four months ended up having about seven days off work because of lack of sleep. The first night I would go in even if I hadn’t slept a wink an the girls were horrible to me and said why wasn’t I in my usual hyper jokey mood even tho they knew why... on the second day sometimes I got like four hours but still went in but if it got to a third night of barely anything like 2/3 hours I physically couldn’t go in and I was teased for it and the but of many jokes. It’s horrible when colleagues and employers can’t see the struggle. They literally took the mic like I was ringing in sick because I just felt lazy. I came in on days when I really shouldn’t have. I have left now as I got really depressed towards the end of last year. I felt so weak and drained I could barely pick my tea up without my arm killing. Knew it was time for a mental health break. So I gave myself a month out of work. Still struggle as I have for the past 6/7 years with anxiety and depression but man have I recovered on sleep.Sorry that your work isn’t being nice I truly know how it feels

 

[Laur91]

I just wanted to start this thread to get anyone’s stories about how their workplace have handled mental health or if they’ve not been able to tell their employers etc.

I spoke to my employer today to tell them I needed today and tomorrow off work to deal with my anxiety disorder (which they knew about) which has been massively triggered by stress at home. The response was surprising - initially they didn’t even respond and then when I prompted them they just said ‘all received, thank you’.

my last boss (literally same company just diff department) was the opposite when I told him and spoke to HR to see what he could do to help me and he reassured me not to worry etc.

im tempted to speak to the head of our team on Monday to suggest some mental health training for management as our company offers this but was wondering what your guys experiences were if any?

 

[hrh89]

I went to the doctors yesterday in the hope of being signed off as I really can’t cope at the minute but the doctor said because I’m not actively suicidal it’s not a concern for him. I’m so sad and feel really let down.

that’s awful. If you feel you cannot cope with attending work then they should agree. No one knows how you feel apart from you. You had the courage to go and admit you are struggling and they basically threw it back in your face. I’m so sorry. You were brave and strong to go in the first place. I would ask to see another doctor. Much love to you

Hope I’ve done the quotes right!
Thank you both for the support, I could self certify but I feel like I’m not being taken seriously anyway and that won’t help even more if it’s just my word rather than my doctor. There’s been a few people that I work with who have felt the same and been signed off so I just feel like it’s being dismissed.
Sorry to rant here, I don’t really feel like I’ve got any friends to talk to about it as I feel like they’re getting fed up with it anyway.

I am in a similar head space and if you want to talk feel free to pm me. If not that’s fine too, but just an ear if you need it x

 

[Loveadessert]

I work in mental health the work load is unsustainable and the support from line managers is minimal .They are seldom present. Many different professionals have left due to burnout. Staff who have highlighted problems have been labelled trouble makers or negative

 

[Calmyourtitsdown]

I’m really sad to read, how people have been treated by the NHS as an employer around mental health.
I am happy to report that my experience is completely different. The trust that I work for, provides a course of counselling, provided in work hours, with a referral from your line manager. I feel supported; I have been asked several times by my manager and colleague/friend who’s a team leader, if I need any time off or adjustment to my hours, anything they can do etc.
This is worlds away from previous treatment from employers. But then the last time I was suffering this acutely, was 10+ years ago, so maybe giving the benefit of a doubt, they may be better now.
Though again, still Health & Social Care settings...
Once I acknowledged that I was struggling again, one of the most important things for me, was that it did not effect my work. Thankfully so far it hasn’t, and I plan for it to stay that way.

 

[Jelly Bean]

All I would say is keep a diary of any interaction you have with HR, doctors, managers. Record times, dates, a brief outline of events. If you ever have to fight for your rights instead of a woolly vague recollection that can be dismissed an accurate record is a very powerful thing.
And keep all correspondence.

 

[MaxieMoo]

It can be such a lonely place when you are feeling low and unable to cope. It doesn't help not having that support mechanism around you to talk about stuff. I think sometimes just talking about stuff is helpful. Just getting things off your chest. I'm sorry you are going through this. You know we are always tattling about on this site if you need to talk about stuff. X

 

[KateESJ]

My last job was awful.
They gave me a week paid time off and I had to take unpaid time off after that and they text me about 10 days after saying they were understaffed and practically begged me to come in. Thankfully there's new leave rights for bereaved parents and if they lose a child under 18 (I don't think there should be an age on it, but it's a start), then they're entitled to two weeks paid leave.

I have two jobs now and neither are great so while I haven't asked at all about MH time off, I know they wouldn't give it to me. I was triggered at work once into one of my PTSD panic attacks and they told me to sit outside for 5 minutes and shake it off.

 

[Noname12345]

Because there doesn’t always need to be a ‘well, others have it worse!’ kind of comment. It’s different for everyone and actually a lot of comments on here are positive & saying how much their employers do for them. Just because others have it worse doesn’t mean that it’s still not shit for someone on another level...



that’s really interesting! My employer allows 1 WFH day a week which I utilise and find incredibly helpful but it’s a shame your org doesn’t allow people the chance. Sometimes it’s not about needing to sit at home doing nothing but even just working from home can be beneficial and give our minds a rest from manic offices etc! Hopefully they will work towards that and make it an option in the future.

I genuinely believe remote working is the future for the majority of employers that could utilise it and that are applicable.

It's not my organisation, but my department specifically. I am currently in the process of requesting wfh when I need to. I find office and the commute quite overwhelming at times and my anxiety causes me to have a psychosomatic symptoms

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I work for an employer that has done a lot, centrally, regarding mental health and supporting staff such as setting up self referral for counselling and sharing stories of other staff with mental health issues. They are doing a lot to raise awareness, acceptance and understanding of these issues but my direct manager is not at all sensitive or approachable. I could never tell my manager that I was struggling as they are very judgemental and unhelpful. A colleague has approached the manager to ask for support on an issue that was causing them stress and was told it was their own fault for being too soft.

 

[Annim]

I have never had an employer who would had dealt well with my mental health issues. One employer sent me a nasty email when I was pregnant and was sent to therapy by my GP. I also had to go to see my mw more often because of issues in my pregnancy. In the email I was told I have to arrange my mw and therapy appointments outside work time. H&S team recommended me to work from home but my boss told me I have to be in the office everyday. I was 8 months pregnant and could hardly fit between my car seat and the steering wheel.

In another job I had to fight for years to get any help with anxiety and stress that certain tasks at work were giving me.

I haven't had any issues with my mental health in my current job, but I'm hoping they will be a bit better with dealing with it. I've only been there for 6 months.