Mental Health Days & Work

[hrh89]

I had a bad breakdown last year, went to the doctors and was signed off for two weeks, my work begrudgingly accepted it but i was still hassled every other day asking if i was “well yet“ or if i knew when i was coming back, even though they had my form from the doctors. When i went back after the two weeks my managers response (who was SO horrible) was “put a smile on your face and try to cheer up or you can just leave today if you want, we need happy people in this company” i did leave a while after that.

that’s completely disgusting. How awful for you. If you are signed off by a doctor they should not be contacting you. I would say a quick check in nearer the end of your sick leave just to see where you are in terms of returning to work, but for the rest of the time you should be left alone.

bet that manager wouldn’t want to be treated the way they treated you if they went through something similar. Some people are so cold and uncaring. I hope you’re in a better place now.

 

[Youcantsitwithus]

I have gone from polar opposites. In my previous job my boss once told me to take a paracetamol for a panic attack and pull myself together. I went through a period of severe anxiety and they still continued to call me outside of hours and on the weekends, I don’t work there now for obvious reasons but it was terrible. They actually made my anxiety worse.
I now work for a company that it’s totally remote and within reason flexible hours, Im, sick pay, I’m not allowed work emails on my phone and they actively promote good mental health and have full policies on how they will support us if we need it.

- also it’s not an MLM I get asked this a lot it’s a completely normal company but everyone works from home or wherever they want but just not in an office.

 

[QueenDecember]

I have gone from polar opposites. In my previous job my boss once told me to take a paracetamol for a panic attack and pull myself together. I went through a period of severe anxiety and they still continued to call me outside of hours and on the weekends, I don’t work there now for obvious reasons but it was terrible. They actually made my anxiety worse.
I now work for a company that it’s totally remote and within reason flexible hours, Im, sick pay, I’m not allowed work emails on my phone and they actively promote good mental health and have full policies on how they will support us if we need it.

- also it’s not an MLM I get asked this a lot it’s a completely normal company but everyone works from home or wherever they want but just not in an office.

So glad you’re at a better employer now!

Where I currently work, I enjoy my job itself but leadership and culture is horrible at things like this. Mental health for one but even physical health. If you miss work or even work from home for any reason, the management makes you feel like a criminal. Right now one of my coworkers is battling cancer and understandably misses work and works flex hours. The way they talk about him behind his back is appalling.

All of this is playing into why I’m currently looking for a new job. I’m being selective in what I apply for and pay close attention during interviews for red flags. A positive work culture is #1 on my list of musts for my next role. I’m a very hard and dedicated worker - but don’t want to leave one toxic environment for another.

 

[Lucy102]

that’s completely disgusting. How awful for you. If you are signed off by a doctor they should not be contacting you. I would say a quick check in nearer the end of your sick leave just to see where you are in terms of returning to work, but for the rest of the time you should be left alone.

bet that manager wouldn’t want to be treated the way they treated you if they went through something similar. Some people are so cold and uncaring. I hope you’re in a better place now.

I had members of staff messaging me who didn't and shouldn’t have know why i was off in the first place, as far as they were concerned i was just on holiday or off. I know they were trying to be nice and ‘check in’ but it must have meant my manager had told everyone the reason why i was off. Which i really didn't appreciate and made me worse cause i was worried about everyone talking about me. I found out that there was a few that were saying things behind my back (manager included) thank you, i am getting there slowly.

in this day we live in where mental heath is more openly talked about, i was shocked that my workplace were less than understanding about it and all they really cared about was replacing me, before i’d even left.

 

[Youre a wizard Harry]

I work for a small company (10 employees) and was signed off last year for two weeks due to anxiety. I managed to hide my problems quite well so it was a shock to everyone, but my job is difficult and I work hard, management were great and basically said do what you need to do. I was so so scared of telling my boss I’d been signed off (I didn’t go to the GP asking to be signed off so- I went because I was struggling in general, so I didn’t really have time to think about how I would tell him)
However, some colleagues were not so great. I found out that when I was off, one person said they didn’t believe in mental health problems. comments like that are one of the reasons why people suffer in silence.

 

[Loveadessert]

I work in mental health the work load is unsustainable and the support from line managers is minimal .They are seldom present. Many different professionals have left due to burnout. Staff who have highlighted problems have been labelled trouble makers or negative

 

[Spencerskates]

I went to the doctors yesterday in the hope of being signed off as I really can’t cope at the minute but the doctor said because I’m not actively suicidal it’s not a concern for him. I’m so sad and feel really let down.

 

[MaxieMoo]

I went to the doctors yesterday in the hope of being signed off as I really can’t cope at the minute but the doctor said because I’m not actively suicidal it’s not a concern for him. I’m so sad and feel really let down.

Sorry you are feeling like that. Could you self certify for a few days then arrange to see a different Dr? What kind of unsupported attitude is that. Such a shame you experienced that.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I went to the doctors yesterday in the hope of being signed off as I really can’t cope at the minute but the doctor said because I’m not actively suicidal it’s not a concern for him. I’m so sad and feel really let down.

Oh bloody hell that is awful. He sounds appalling. I'm sure you can't be bothered at all but you are well within your rights to put in a complaint I should think. You don't have to be suicidal to need time off do you?
So sorry you are feeling like this.

 

[Spencerskates]

Sorry you are feeling like that. Could you self certify for a few days then arrange to see a different Dr? What kind of unsupported attitude is that. Such a shame you experienced that.

Oh bloody hell that is awful. He sounds appalling. I'm sure you can't be bothered at all but you are well within your rights to put in a complaint I should think. You don't have to be suicidal to need time off do you?
So sorry you are feeling like this.

Hope I’ve done the quotes right!
Thank you both for the support, I could self certify but I feel like I’m not being taken seriously anyway and that won’t help even more if it’s just my word rather than my doctor. There’s been a few people that I work with who have felt the same and been signed off so I just feel like it’s being dismissed.
Sorry to rant here, I don’t really feel like I’ve got any friends to talk to about it as I feel like they’re getting fed up with it anyway.

 

[MaxieMoo]

It can be such a lonely place when you are feeling low and unable to cope. It doesn't help not having that support mechanism around you to talk about stuff. I think sometimes just talking about stuff is helpful. Just getting things off your chest. I'm sorry you are going through this. You know we are always tattling about on this site if you need to talk about stuff. X

 

[hrh89]

I went to the doctors yesterday in the hope of being signed off as I really can’t cope at the minute but the doctor said because I’m not actively suicidal it’s not a concern for him. I’m so sad and feel really let down.

that’s awful. If you feel you cannot cope with attending work then they should agree. No one knows how you feel apart from you. You had the courage to go and admit you are struggling and they basically threw it back in your face. I’m so sorry. You were brave and strong to go in the first place. I would ask to see another doctor. Much love to you

Hope I’ve done the quotes right!
Thank you both for the support, I could self certify but I feel like I’m not being taken seriously anyway and that won’t help even more if it’s just my word rather than my doctor. There’s been a few people that I work with who have felt the same and been signed off so I just feel like it’s being dismissed.
Sorry to rant here, I don’t really feel like I’ve got any friends to talk to about it as I feel like they’re getting fed up with it anyway.

I am in a similar head space and if you want to talk feel free to pm me. If not that’s fine too, but just an ear if you need it x

 

[Annim]

I have never had an employer who would had dealt well with my mental health issues. One employer sent me a nasty email when I was pregnant and was sent to therapy by my GP. I also had to go to see my mw more often because of issues in my pregnancy. In the email I was told I have to arrange my mw and therapy appointments outside work time. H&S team recommended me to work from home but my boss told me I have to be in the office everyday. I was 8 months pregnant and could hardly fit between my car seat and the steering wheel.

In another job I had to fight for years to get any help with anxiety and stress that certain tasks at work were giving me.

I haven't had any issues with my mental health in my current job, but I'm hoping they will be a bit better with dealing with it. I've only been there for 6 months.

 

[Jelly Bean]

All I would say is keep a diary of any interaction you have with HR, doctors, managers. Record times, dates, a brief outline of events. If you ever have to fight for your rights instead of a woolly vague recollection that can be dismissed an accurate record is a very powerful thing.
And keep all correspondence.

 

[Trixabellee9393]

I struggle with my mental health too. Which makes it hard to do well at work although I just carry on most days absolutely exhausted. I went through an awful period of insomnia in 2018 and over around four months ended up having about seven days off work because of lack of sleep. The first night I would go in even if I hadn’t slept a wink an the girls were horrible to me and said why wasn’t I in my usual hyper jokey mood even tho they knew why... on the second day sometimes I got like four hours but still went in but if it got to a third night of barely anything like 2/3 hours I physically couldn’t go in and I was teased for it and the but of many jokes. It’s horrible when colleagues and employers can’t see the struggle. They literally took the mic like I was ringing in sick because I just felt lazy. I came in on days when I really shouldn’t have. I have left now as I got really depressed towards the end of last year. I felt so weak and drained I could barely pick my tea up without my arm killing. Knew it was time for a mental health break. So I gave myself a month out of work. Still struggle as I have for the past 6/7 years with anxiety and depression but man have I recovered on sleep.Sorry that your work isn’t being nice I truly know how it feels

 

[KateESJ]

My last job was awful.
They gave me a week paid time off and I had to take unpaid time off after that and they text me about 10 days after saying they were understaffed and practically begged me to come in. Thankfully there's new leave rights for bereaved parents and if they lose a child under 18 (I don't think there should be an age on it, but it's a start), then they're entitled to two weeks paid leave.

I have two jobs now and neither are great so while I haven't asked at all about MH time off, I know they wouldn't give it to me. I was triggered at work once into one of my PTSD panic attacks and they told me to sit outside for 5 minutes and shake it off.

 

[Zobodone]

I had a nervous breakdown last week due to stress and also I’m diagnosed with some mental health disorders. I just went to work and pretended all was ok. I’m still suffering now but if I even have so much as a day off for something I get made to feel so guilty. Last time it was “oh we were so busy, you choose the right day to have a day off!” and little digs like that. I had a panic attack in front of my boss last week and it was, get a coffee made and then go do *whatever job I had to do next* There’s no one else to do my job so I’m made to feel like absolute crap as getting cover is a hit and miss. I’m sat dreading going in today again because I’m struggling to even leave the house let alone be around lots of people. I know it’s wrong to feel like that in a company but when you’ve bills to pay as a single mother on a part time income only - it’s a case of keep your gob shut and crack on

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I work for an employer that has done a lot, centrally, regarding mental health and supporting staff such as setting up self referral for counselling and sharing stories of other staff with mental health issues. They are doing a lot to raise awareness, acceptance and understanding of these issues but my direct manager is not at all sensitive or approachable. I could never tell my manager that I was struggling as they are very judgemental and unhelpful. A colleague has approached the manager to ask for support on an issue that was causing them stress and was told it was their own fault for being too soft.

 

[working9-5]

My experience is that employers like to be seen to be supporting mental health but when it comes down to it they couldn’t give a toss.

 

[Calmyourtitsdown]

I’m really sad to read, how people have been treated by the NHS as an employer around mental health.
I am happy to report that my experience is completely different. The trust that I work for, provides a course of counselling, provided in work hours, with a referral from your line manager. I feel supported; I have been asked several times by my manager and colleague/friend who’s a team leader, if I need any time off or adjustment to my hours, anything they can do etc.
This is worlds away from previous treatment from employers. But then the last time I was suffering this acutely, was 10+ years ago, so maybe giving the benefit of a doubt, they may be better now.
Though again, still Health & Social Care settings...
Once I acknowledged that I was struggling again, one of the most important things for me, was that it did not effect my work. Thankfully so far it hasn’t, and I plan for it to stay that way.