Melanie Murphy #17 The first woman ever to have ever been pregnant. Ever.

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Eileen.G999

Well-known member
Secrets77 said:
Yup and she won't even be able to blame alcohol for her bad behaviour this time

So we used an app to track sleep and feeds pretty much right away for wake windows etc. It made my life so much easier and could plan around her naps etc as she got older. It was scary accurate as well with regards to wake windows, so it would suggest a nap at a certain time as baby would likely be tired and sure enough bang on cue she was out like a light 🤣 loved it. I think as a scared first time mum during the pandemic with very little help (me not Mel as she had an entire team of help) it helped me stay sane tbh.
I genuinely don't know how she's going to cope with two small children and renovations. She wants to be pregnant because its all about her and an excuse to be lazy but the reality that comes afterwards she's not thought of at all.
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Which app did u use ?
 
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9961

Chatty Member
Catsme said:
I never thought I’d say this, but I actually…feel so bad for her? In terms of idealising life after a traumatic childhood, I relate.

My early early adulthood was very traumatic too, and it definitely pushed me back in terms of development. I went a bit crazy for a while I think, trying to control every aspect of my envisioned life. When it wasn’t how I pictured, I spiralled into “depression” (in quotes because I don’t know if it was officially depression or just a response to epic stress). Eventually I had to sit with myself and accept that life isn’t always a good time, is rarely a fairytale, and face up to reality.

I’m not perfect by any means, but I do think that Mel would feel better if she took some ownership of her situation, acknowledge that it can be a bit shit, but life doesn’t always fit the emotional safe space you’ve imagined it to be.
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What was traumatic about her early adulthood?
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
rattleprattle said:
How can you not be dismissive when she lies about every little aspect of her medical history?



Or maybe they haven’t? Maybe they don’t spend their days looking for biased information to support the idea that “authority figures” are out to get them. Maybe they are thankful for the wonderful midwives and wonderful doctors that helped them in their journey to bring their healthy happy babies into the world. Maybe they are thankful for the blood transfusion that saved their lives? Maybe they are thankful that someone was there with the training and expertise to recognise that something was wrong and to provide the care necessary to prevent irreparable harm?
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Maybe they are or maybe they have life long issues from the unnecessary episiotomy preformed on them without their consent or maybe they have PTSD from their unnecessary c section or from the doctors doing unnecessary procedures to their body without their consent/advising them of what they are doing or maybe they needed that blood transfusion because of the pph that was caused by the unnecessary interventions the doctors did to the person without advising them that a pph can be a side effect to these interventions. But hey looks like the majority of women on here are happy with the sub par care they are receiving in the maternity system.
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
monga said:
Why do you think their mortality rate is so high !Could it be because there’s so much poverty in certain state’s that a lot of women can’t afford maternity care until they’re actually giving birth and a lot of conditions are left untreated ..again it’s the baby’s size will determine the birth not the woman .
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That plays a factor yes but they believe the rising c section rates and rise in diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and obesity play a factor. Prenatal care plays a big part too in the outcome of labor. Also under NICE guidelines babies size is not a valid reason to induce labor or recommend c section as ultrasounds can be off by up to 2 pounds.
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
monga said:
Woman do have the choice not to seek medical intervention throughout their pregnancy and the risks that involves, it’s a bit of a stretch to say the medical profession are carrying out violence when there’s always more than one healthcare practitioner present to supervise the others for various reasons .
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I am aware that there is usually more than one medical peofessional in the room but I have read accounts of nurse, midwives not speaking up when the doctor is doing a procedure they did not seek consent for and the above doctors midwives I mentioned have accounts of this aswell as the patients account. I also am aware of women who have wild pregnancies and freebirths which are risky but its their choice.
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
rattleprattle said:
No they should just ignore the advice of a medical professional assessing their situation in real time in favour of some stuff they’ve read on the internet.
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They can assess the situation themselves or their doctor or midwife could present them with all the facts/risks to the procedure so they can give informed consent (but unfortunately that does not happen all the time)
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
Dianne said:
I had such a similar labour experience to Melanie it’s actually weird. Baby the same weight, length of labour, trial forceps and almost a c-section until a random dr appeared and pulled my baby out. It was an awful experience and I still feel trauma from it because it went on for so long and was so far from what I expected. I was also on the labour ward for most of it lying on my back or side which was fucking shit.

When I went to theatre I remember quickly signing something (literally don’t know what I signed 😂) and lay there trying not to have a panic attack. I ended up with an episiotomy and I didn’t even realise until I saw the horror in the toilets mirror later in the day.

My point in all this is that I actually hated my labour and was confused by things that happened. But at the end of the day I went to theatre because the dr was concerned for my baby’s life and there was no other way of getting him out. It’s just the way it is. And it’s just the way it was for her.
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Maybe but what she is trying to say and what i am saying is that interventions have a time and place and that she believes and I agree with her that her intervention was unnecessary. But that's Irelands maternity system where the policies and procedures are not evidence based.
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
monga said:
If you’re so invested in research you’ll know the placenta has a certain lifespan after 42 weeks it starts to deteriorate that’s why most doctors are keen to deliver before that.. Gestational diabetes leads to massive babies that’s why the C section rate in the state’s is so high, the levels of obesity alone can be life threatening especially in pregnancy.
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Actually there is no conclusive studies done showing the placenta deterioting after 42 weeks. Also the risk of stillbirth only slightly increases between 40 to 42 and does not continue to increase. Also gestional diabetes can lead to slightly larger babies but the main concern is pre eclampsia which can be life threatening. Obsesity can lead to GD and Pre eclampsia which have their risks.

monga said:
I’m sure there are bad doctors like every other profession but it’s rare or else they’d be out of a job, there are patient advocate services for exactly that reason you can complain at any time if there’s anything you’re unhappy with.
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A 1 in 5 statistic to me personally means it is quite common and I'm sure these people lodge complaints but it's still happening. I'm sure there are good doctors but a 1 in 5 statistic shows there is something wrong with the system.
 
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caracal

Member
Dearreader said:
TW- BDD.

Not even two weeks ago she was saying on an IG post how she was suffering from prenatal depression and body dysmorphia and literally *two small weeks later* she's cured from prenatal depression and dancing around in her underwear..quick turnaround . Now I don't know anyone with BDD who would feel confident to literally dance around like that or have such a quick turnaround with their body and with the thoughts that constantly eat away at you that comes with having BDD.
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To be fair, the qualifier for a depressive episode is that it lasts *at least two weeks*, so it's possible. Especially because it sounded like she'd felt that way for a while when she told the internet? And the body posi stuff always seemed to help her with her BDD–tbh I'm glad to see it.
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
monga said:
You’re talking like the child is a piece of meat I’m sure the majority of mothers would rather have an intervention as a bad outcome , you’re 💯 Melanie that’s exactly her thinking…
www.reuters.com

Longer pregnancy tied to higher risk of stillbirth, newborn death

Pregnant women who continue to carry their babies after they reach full term have a higher risk of stillbirth and newborn deaths than mothers who deliver by 37 weeks' gestation, a recent study suggests.
www.reuters.com www.reuters.com
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It is the mother choice though and if she makes that choice that is on her. Just so you are aware the current statistic for stillbirths is 2 to 3 for every 1000 births between 37 to 42 weeks and after 42 weeks it jumps to 4 to 7 per 1000. Also due dates are not expiration dates and can be wrong.
 
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AnnoyedHobbit

Member
rattleprattle said:
Aims Ireland is not an unbiased source of information. It is placing women and their obstetric professionals at two ends of an adversarial pole.
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Thats your view but Aims Ireland have studies and research to back up the information they present on their website and the information they present is factual information.