Elle Belle
Chatty Member
Lydia Millen #34 Loves a cheese platter, hair in tatters, but out of respect this will be remaining a private matter
- Notice
Elle Belle
Chatty Member
Monday 10th August - Vlog 'Shopping at Chanel, Dior, LV and Fendi. Two New Bags. And New Diamonds' (No shopping involved really. Just begging).
- She's going to London. Not again. This was filmed 57 weeks ago. The trip is 2/3rds pleasure 1/3rd work. 2 words. 1 finger. Lydia, you do the math!
- She's going to her dentist appointment in London. She confirms she's not been wearing her retainers as the last thing she needed was being distracted from vlogging. ABRACADABRA! Nope, you’re still stupid. And still have wonky teeth.
- She's getting her hair colour corrected. Again. The breakage is making her so so sad. She mentions this at least another 3 times during the vlog. Pew! Pew! Pew! That’s the sound of me deflecting her whiny bitching with my happiness shield.
- She's not been in a shop in London since well she can't remember. I do. You sent Cawwee to collect a bag because you had a bad skin day. Lydia, this was totally unnecessary, you're such a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person. Oh I’m sorry, I thought we were having a lying competition for a moment then.
- She states Covid is impacting on her mum, as she is having to do something she doesn't like, now the beauty counter in Tesco is closed. This is about as close to sympathy as it's ever going to get. But still, Earth is full. Go home, Lydia.
- She acknowledged on the hike with Cawwee, she sweated a lot. She body showered, but she didn't wash her hair. Why would you even say that in the same sentence, yet alone put it on the internet? They say you can't fix stupid. I mean you can. It's just illegal in most countries.
- She's wearing a mask in London for everyone else's benefit. Typically she should be ok. When not wearing a mask she does so safely, however. Lydia, you seem to be very well educated on stuff you make up.
- She's wearing a Karen Millen dress, Churches boots and Chanel bag. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- They're at Milton Keynes train station. No stations in Buckinghamshire then, Lydia?
- She takes her mask off in the taxi. Fuck the taxi driver's safety then. She's learning lessons about makeup and masks. She should have brought her whole makeup bag. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you Lydia, how about asshole?
- Cawwee, during lockdown has missed Harrods' coffee beans. Lydia's proud of how bougie her best friend is. Dumb and Dumber both consistently set low expectations and still fail to achieve them.
- She asserts it's a bizarre experience as Bond Street has never been so quiet. Well that's a level of incompetence we've never quite seen before. It's because we're still in a global pandemic, Lydia.
- I actually like the Fendi dress and boots. It's not sage for a start. Just look what you can dress like if you actually pay for things.
- She disheartened that there's no green bag for Lydia. She feels there will be an array of green bags in autumn. She's ahead of the game apparently. You're really not. Your ambition really outweighs your relevant skills.
- She has her hair done. She'll need a 3 further sessions to fully colour correct. They were very patient with her. Were they though? You’re the reason nobody likes you. She refers us back to her in-depth step by step hair guide in the last vlog. She proclaims she gets in the shower and everything. I would watch it again, but it's about as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
- She affirms whenever she gets back home she always checks on her sproots. She can't neglect them. You've been gone a day, Lydia. A frickin day. The spinach is coming in hot. Whenever she waters plants they just appear. It's like they just get bigger. She's basking in the ability of her growing abilities. To be honest you really aren't that awesome like you think you are, Lydia. The correct term is more accurately 'narcissistic sociopath'.
- The flowers next to the Hydrangeas are called candy floss pops apparently. You speak an infinite deal of shit.
- Ali's got his hose out. She's not wearing a bra, she says on camera. Ali's penis is bigger than your whole personality, Lydia.
- She lisps at Lumi who was about to drown herself in the water feature in the fire exit. Sames Lumi.
- She's now talking Ali through a recipe. She literally fangs at him about teaspoon measurements and then shows him how to cut an aubergine. I don't think he meets the height requirement of your fucked up condescending emotional rollercoaster, Lydia.
- She highlights it's one of those days where she looks like a mole. But it's been productive. She's cleaned her dressing room. For the 87th time this week. There are some remarkably dull people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
- She's opening more packages. Some diamonds which pleases her greatly. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
- She's been offered bags from Fendi which she hasn't accepted before. Lies. She then lists 5 that she already has. She tells us she took the mask off for the shoot in the name of work. It just wasn't working with the mask. Shame people's breathing just wasn't working with Covid. I can’t help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your dad had just pulled out.
- She states fashion is a fun thing. She doesn't take it too seriously. Here's the problem. You're an idiot.
- She's working with Carolina Herrera. 2 new handbags. I would love to insult you, but that would be beyond your level of intelligence. Let's just say we'll all forget about that advice video you just filmed on buying luxury then.
- Ali rings her as he's pulling out of the drive. This is just his first mandatory check-in really. She acknowledges she lucked out finding someone who makes her laugh. I don't want your husband. No one wants your husband. That is why he is with you.
- She lists everything that makes her happy, strongly emphasising bags and diamonds. She 'loves me things that sparkle'. She highlights she was a paying customer before working with them. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.
- Ali rang to see if she would like a naughty dinner. It's pizza. Standard. She talks with her mouth full. Again. Standard. Table manners are free, Lydia. You wish you was as thin as my patience RN.
- She's opening up more antiquey art frames. She doesn't know if she likes something so dramatic. You are the epitome of dramatic, Lydia. Do yourself a favour and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case. Always.
- She tried to read one chapter of her book but fell asleep. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
- She's going to London. Not again. This was filmed 57 weeks ago. The trip is 2/3rds pleasure 1/3rd work. 2 words. 1 finger. Lydia, you do the math!
- She's going to her dentist appointment in London. She confirms she's not been wearing her retainers as the last thing she needed was being distracted from vlogging. ABRACADABRA! Nope, you’re still stupid. And still have wonky teeth.
- She's getting her hair colour corrected. Again. The breakage is making her so so sad. She mentions this at least another 3 times during the vlog. Pew! Pew! Pew! That’s the sound of me deflecting her whiny bitching with my happiness shield.
- She's not been in a shop in London since well she can't remember. I do. You sent Cawwee to collect a bag because you had a bad skin day. Lydia, this was totally unnecessary, you're such a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person. Oh I’m sorry, I thought we were having a lying competition for a moment then.
- She states Covid is impacting on her mum, as she is having to do something she doesn't like, now the beauty counter in Tesco is closed. This is about as close to sympathy as it's ever going to get. But still, Earth is full. Go home, Lydia.
- She acknowledged on the hike with Cawwee, she sweated a lot. She body showered, but she didn't wash her hair. Why would you even say that in the same sentence, yet alone put it on the internet? They say you can't fix stupid. I mean you can. It's just illegal in most countries.
- She's wearing a mask in London for everyone else's benefit. Typically she should be ok. When not wearing a mask she does so safely, however. Lydia, you seem to be very well educated on stuff you make up.
- She's wearing a Karen Millen dress, Churches boots and Chanel bag. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- They're at Milton Keynes train station. No stations in Buckinghamshire then, Lydia?
- She takes her mask off in the taxi. Fuck the taxi driver's safety then. She's learning lessons about makeup and masks. She should have brought her whole makeup bag. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you Lydia, how about asshole?
- Cawwee, during lockdown has missed Harrods' coffee beans. Lydia's proud of how bougie her best friend is. Dumb and Dumber both consistently set low expectations and still fail to achieve them.
- She asserts it's a bizarre experience as Bond Street has never been so quiet. Well that's a level of incompetence we've never quite seen before. It's because we're still in a global pandemic, Lydia.
- I actually like the Fendi dress and boots. It's not sage for a start. Just look what you can dress like if you actually pay for things.
- She disheartened that there's no green bag for Lydia. She feels there will be an array of green bags in autumn. She's ahead of the game apparently. You're really not. Your ambition really outweighs your relevant skills.
- She has her hair done. She'll need a 3 further sessions to fully colour correct. They were very patient with her. Were they though? You’re the reason nobody likes you. She refers us back to her in-depth step by step hair guide in the last vlog. She proclaims she gets in the shower and everything. I would watch it again, but it's about as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
- She affirms whenever she gets back home she always checks on her sproots. She can't neglect them. You've been gone a day, Lydia. A frickin day. The spinach is coming in hot. Whenever she waters plants they just appear. It's like they just get bigger. She's basking in the ability of her growing abilities. To be honest you really aren't that awesome like you think you are, Lydia. The correct term is more accurately 'narcissistic sociopath'.
- The flowers next to the Hydrangeas are called candy floss pops apparently. You speak an infinite deal of shit.
- Ali's got his hose out. She's not wearing a bra, she says on camera. Ali's penis is bigger than your whole personality, Lydia.
- She lisps at Lumi who was about to drown herself in the water feature in the fire exit. Sames Lumi.
- She's now talking Ali through a recipe. She literally fangs at him about teaspoon measurements and then shows him how to cut an aubergine. I don't think he meets the height requirement of your fucked up condescending emotional rollercoaster, Lydia.
- She highlights it's one of those days where she looks like a mole. But it's been productive. She's cleaned her dressing room. For the 87th time this week. There are some remarkably dull people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
- She's opening more packages. Some diamonds which pleases her greatly. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
- She's been offered bags from Fendi which she hasn't accepted before. Lies. She then lists 5 that she already has. She tells us she took the mask off for the shoot in the name of work. It just wasn't working with the mask. Shame people's breathing just wasn't working with Covid. I can’t help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your dad had just pulled out.
- She states fashion is a fun thing. She doesn't take it too seriously. Here's the problem. You're an idiot.
- She's working with Carolina Herrera. 2 new handbags. I would love to insult you, but that would be beyond your level of intelligence. Let's just say we'll all forget about that advice video you just filmed on buying luxury then.
- Ali rings her as he's pulling out of the drive. This is just his first mandatory check-in really. She acknowledges she lucked out finding someone who makes her laugh. I don't want your husband. No one wants your husband. That is why he is with you.
- She lists everything that makes her happy, strongly emphasising bags and diamonds. She 'loves me things that sparkle'. She highlights she was a paying customer before working with them. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.
- Ali rang to see if she would like a naughty dinner. It's pizza. Standard. She talks with her mouth full. Again. Standard. Table manners are free, Lydia. You wish you was as thin as my patience RN.
- She's opening up more antiquey art frames. She doesn't know if she likes something so dramatic. You are the epitome of dramatic, Lydia. Do yourself a favour and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case. Always.
- She tried to read one chapter of her book but fell asleep. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
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Elle Belle
Chatty Member
Hi Tattlers
So Cawwee, Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum and I all went to the vinyard to celebrate my success. I'm like a best wine did you know? I just get better with age. Glóby has now made national headlines in the Telegraph Stella magazine. It's definitely going to win product of theyear decade now. Depop Dee has been filling up scrapbook after scrapbook with all my awards and fan mail. I'm such a happy little pea. Cawwee says I'm a little ray of pitch black. But why stop there? I've decided Ali's no longer allowed a separate office now. It's going to be a shrine. Dedicated to me.
Now I've made it in the big league, I no longer want to be the leader of the pack. I'm a lone wolf. If I wanted to be surrounded by bitches I'd get a dog. Of course there's always going to be haters. Frow needs a loyalty check. She can go to Italy as many times as she wants, but she'll never be Italian or cultured like me. And as for Louise Thompson, she's entitled to her incorrect opinion. Sage is all the rage. She's so shawt her hair smells like feet. I hope she took notes on my step by step shower routine and then she can have luscious hair just like me, without having to spend 500 notes on that overpriced erm thingy-ma-jig. Who even wants to style their hair with something renown for picking up dirt anyway?
You've probably all seen that the beehive is underway. I was sceptical at first I must admit, but I agreed on two conditions. Firstly that, Ali paints the bees' stripes sage. Yellow isn't really my aesthetic you see. Secondly that, Ali buys me a Hermès bag. There's a 'me' in Hermès, not a Vic or a Amelia or a Leonie, so I don't see why they should have one and not ME. My husband actually had the audacity to say no to both and asked if I was crazy. Crazy people don't know they are crazy. I know I'm crazy therefore I can not be crazy. Anyway, being a dick won't make yours any bigger Ali! But then I realised that the bee keeping will actually provide a good distraction for Depop Dee to Depop all of Ali's belongings so I CAN finally afford my very own Hermès. I'm not as stoopy as I look after all.
All this plotting is ever so tiresome. I've got to go for my seventh nap of the day now. My Doctor told me a lay in a week is way better than any 3 step Clinique. I didn't need a mum after all. Did you know that rabbits jump and they live for 8 years? Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Tortoises do nothing and live for 150 years. So who's the smart slothy now? Maybe I do need to do even less and hire a third personal assistant...to you know glitter over all the bitter. I feel sorry for all those pretentious bitches that are jealous of me. It must be exhausting keeping up all those fake appearances and stressing about all the shit they can't control.
Love Lydia (Who is always happy. Period. Just not when I'm on my period. Or pre-period. Or ever.)
So Cawwee, Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum and I all went to the vinyard to celebrate my success. I'm like a best wine did you know? I just get better with age. Glóby has now made national headlines in the Telegraph Stella magazine. It's definitely going to win product of the
Now I've made it in the big league, I no longer want to be the leader of the pack. I'm a lone wolf. If I wanted to be surrounded by bitches I'd get a dog. Of course there's always going to be haters. Frow needs a loyalty check. She can go to Italy as many times as she wants, but she'll never be Italian or cultured like me. And as for Louise Thompson, she's entitled to her incorrect opinion. Sage is all the rage. She's so shawt her hair smells like feet. I hope she took notes on my step by step shower routine and then she can have luscious hair just like me, without having to spend 500 notes on that overpriced erm thingy-ma-jig. Who even wants to style their hair with something renown for picking up dirt anyway?
You've probably all seen that the beehive is underway. I was sceptical at first I must admit, but I agreed on two conditions. Firstly that, Ali paints the bees' stripes sage. Yellow isn't really my aesthetic you see. Secondly that, Ali buys me a Hermès bag. There's a 'me' in Hermès, not a Vic or a Amelia or a Leonie, so I don't see why they should have one and not ME. My husband actually had the audacity to say no to both and asked if I was crazy. Crazy people don't know they are crazy. I know I'm crazy therefore I can not be crazy. Anyway, being a dick won't make yours any bigger Ali! But then I realised that the bee keeping will actually provide a good distraction for Depop Dee to Depop all of Ali's belongings so I CAN finally afford my very own Hermès. I'm not as stoopy as I look after all.
All this plotting is ever so tiresome. I've got to go for my seventh nap of the day now. My Doctor told me a lay in a week is way better than any 3 step Clinique. I didn't need a mum after all. Did you know that rabbits jump and they live for 8 years? Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Tortoises do nothing and live for 150 years. So who's the smart slothy now? Maybe I do need to do even less and hire a third personal assistant...to you know glitter over all the bitter. I feel sorry for all those pretentious bitches that are jealous of me. It must be exhausting keeping up all those fake appearances and stressing about all the shit they can't control.
Love Lydia (Who is always happy. Period. Just not when I'm on my period. Or pre-period. Or ever.)
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Elle Belle
Chatty Member
Vlog - Thursday 13th August
- She's been crying on the phone to her friend because she misses her. I wonder if it's reciprocal though? Even cats don’t like you, Lydia.
- She shows the workmen her lettuce and sprouts. Do you ever just want to grab someone and say what is wrong with you?
- She's doing 50 million loads of washing apparently. She then asks how does the washing machine start and stop. I wonder how we ever did coin the name Lydiot?
- She's booked a spa trip with Ali, all paid for by themselves, but Cawwee has made them an itinerary. I wonder if there's time in said itinerary for your neurotic bullshit?
- She's had a spruce up of the living room so there'll be no sitting in there tonight. Here, let me spruce the stupid right off of you. Oh wait, it’s not coming off.
- It starts raining so she has to put the outside cushions away. She calls out to Ali to help, he carries on doing the raking and she frustratedly says he's not got a care in the world. Look, don't be a fuckface.
- Ad for Lily Silk. Never seen this done before. Never. She's read up so much on sleeping on silk. She acknowledges once you have slept on ironed or steamed sheets you don't go back. Fuck off Lydia, you don't even steam your clothes.
- She refers back to the Tik Tok video if we want a lot of in-depth information on how she makes her bed. She questions is it 1/2 or a 1/3 of your life you spend in bed. Definitely 1/2 for you, Lydia. This is the first truth she's ever spoke. Who this girl?
- Ali doesn't know she's made the bed, he's in for a surprise apparently. Just a reminder, you're an idiot, a dull idiot.
- She ACTUALLY has an ACTUAL linen cupboard. Please refer to my last comment again. I'd repeat it, but comprehending twice would be beyond the level of your intelligence.
- Josie and Charlie came over at the weekend. RIP Frow and Husband. Thankfully this wasn't filmed or I would feel my own personality turning a dull shade of pigeon.
- She's on her way to meet with a lady who is finishing the bungalow. She found her all by herself on Instagram and has paid in full all by herself. Lauren completely gets her, she can't spend the time she spent on the living room so needs to give it to someone else. She's given her a very detailed brief though so it doesn't go west. Hold on, I’ll go find you a tampon Lydia, for when this all goes wrong. Again.
- She's had ideas for rooms she didn't even think about before. Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated.
- She sees a Range Rover Defender drive by and states that's the car she WANTS. Forgotten we're all in the middle of a recession, Lydia? I'll say it again, you're the reason nobody likes you.
- She's settled on 8 raised beds. She always likes to do things above board. With the exception of Glóby of course, that goes without saying. Good news though she's allowed to have her greenhouse of dreams without planning permission. Breaking news just in: you're an asshole.
- She has a Zoom consultation with a dermatologist. She's been having skin difficulties which have left scaring. Wasn't it last week you was on stories showing us your amazing skin due to a new magical fairy dust unicorn shit game changing cleanser???? #nofilter I have whiplash from all this bullshit.
- She's had an hour long conversation with Amelia. Name drop. Again. Another real friendship. YAWN. I do like Amelia though. For now.
- She didn't have lunch, standard, so she's hank marvin. They're having a cheese board for dinner. The following day's dinner is pasta, butter and cheese. You. Are. Not. Gluten. Intolerant. Lydia. I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
- She cannot break down a cardboard box for recycling due to her puny wrists. Are you naturally this dumb or do you have to put in effort?
- A tit has flown into the bungalow. She lisps at it and it poops. I know if I was a bird who I'd shit on too.
- She highlights it's not often she gets the opportunity to vlog three days of her life. What the fuck??? You mean you choose not to vlog as you need at least five days off to rearrange the linen cupboard and shit.
- She's going to her third salon in the month. She's very nervous so is not taking us with her. She says afterwards it's looking good and she's feeling like herself again for the first time in over a month. A red permanent colour was put on her hair which may come back though. She acknowledges she's that happy she thinks she actually might cry. What's your feelings towards Nicky Lazou's insta post, Lydia? You do have the right to remain silent though, as I understand out of respect it's a private matter, but whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
- She's putting a picture from right move of the house they lost in her scrapbook. I don’t understand your specific kind of stupidity Lydia, but I do admire your total commitment to it.
- She's putting another desk in the spare room for her little space to get away from everything, now Ali has his own office. She corrects this to family office. She does all the taking, he does all giving. Direct quote. She states we all feel sorry for him being married to her. Hold on. Let me add to my list of things to pick up today the world's most smallest violin.
- She's now moaning about being hot and grumpy, but has a cardigan on. In the middle of a heatwave. If your brain exploded Lydia, it wouldn’t even mess up your hair. Red die may though. How's that working out for you???
- She's been crying on the phone to her friend because she misses her. I wonder if it's reciprocal though? Even cats don’t like you, Lydia.
- She shows the workmen her lettuce and sprouts. Do you ever just want to grab someone and say what is wrong with you?
- She's doing 50 million loads of washing apparently. She then asks how does the washing machine start and stop. I wonder how we ever did coin the name Lydiot?
- She's booked a spa trip with Ali, all paid for by themselves, but Cawwee has made them an itinerary. I wonder if there's time in said itinerary for your neurotic bullshit?
- She's had a spruce up of the living room so there'll be no sitting in there tonight. Here, let me spruce the stupid right off of you. Oh wait, it’s not coming off.
- It starts raining so she has to put the outside cushions away. She calls out to Ali to help, he carries on doing the raking and she frustratedly says he's not got a care in the world. Look, don't be a fuckface.
- Ad for Lily Silk. Never seen this done before. Never. She's read up so much on sleeping on silk. She acknowledges once you have slept on ironed or steamed sheets you don't go back. Fuck off Lydia, you don't even steam your clothes.
- She refers back to the Tik Tok video if we want a lot of in-depth information on how she makes her bed. She questions is it 1/2 or a 1/3 of your life you spend in bed. Definitely 1/2 for you, Lydia. This is the first truth she's ever spoke. Who this girl?
- Ali doesn't know she's made the bed, he's in for a surprise apparently. Just a reminder, you're an idiot, a dull idiot.
- She ACTUALLY has an ACTUAL linen cupboard. Please refer to my last comment again. I'd repeat it, but comprehending twice would be beyond the level of your intelligence.
- Josie and Charlie came over at the weekend. RIP Frow and Husband. Thankfully this wasn't filmed or I would feel my own personality turning a dull shade of pigeon.
- She's on her way to meet with a lady who is finishing the bungalow. She found her all by herself on Instagram and has paid in full all by herself. Lauren completely gets her, she can't spend the time she spent on the living room so needs to give it to someone else. She's given her a very detailed brief though so it doesn't go west. Hold on, I’ll go find you a tampon Lydia, for when this all goes wrong. Again.
- She's had ideas for rooms she didn't even think about before. Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated.
- She sees a Range Rover Defender drive by and states that's the car she WANTS. Forgotten we're all in the middle of a recession, Lydia? I'll say it again, you're the reason nobody likes you.
- She's settled on 8 raised beds. She always likes to do things above board. With the exception of Glóby of course, that goes without saying. Good news though she's allowed to have her greenhouse of dreams without planning permission. Breaking news just in: you're an asshole.
- She has a Zoom consultation with a dermatologist. She's been having skin difficulties which have left scaring. Wasn't it last week you was on stories showing us your amazing skin due to a new magical fairy dust unicorn shit game changing cleanser???? #nofilter I have whiplash from all this bullshit.
- She's had an hour long conversation with Amelia. Name drop. Again. Another real friendship. YAWN. I do like Amelia though. For now.
- She didn't have lunch, standard, so she's hank marvin. They're having a cheese board for dinner. The following day's dinner is pasta, butter and cheese. You. Are. Not. Gluten. Intolerant. Lydia. I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
- She cannot break down a cardboard box for recycling due to her puny wrists. Are you naturally this dumb or do you have to put in effort?
- A tit has flown into the bungalow. She lisps at it and it poops. I know if I was a bird who I'd shit on too.
- She highlights it's not often she gets the opportunity to vlog three days of her life. What the fuck??? You mean you choose not to vlog as you need at least five days off to rearrange the linen cupboard and shit.
- She's going to her third salon in the month. She's very nervous so is not taking us with her. She says afterwards it's looking good and she's feeling like herself again for the first time in over a month. A red permanent colour was put on her hair which may come back though. She acknowledges she's that happy she thinks she actually might cry. What's your feelings towards Nicky Lazou's insta post, Lydia? You do have the right to remain silent though, as I understand out of respect it's a private matter, but whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
- She's putting a picture from right move of the house they lost in her scrapbook. I don’t understand your specific kind of stupidity Lydia, but I do admire your total commitment to it.
- She's putting another desk in the spare room for her little space to get away from everything, now Ali has his own office. She corrects this to family office. She does all the taking, he does all giving. Direct quote. She states we all feel sorry for him being married to her. Hold on. Let me add to my list of things to pick up today the world's most smallest violin.
- She's now moaning about being hot and grumpy, but has a cardigan on. In the middle of a heatwave. If your brain exploded Lydia, it wouldn’t even mess up your hair. Red die may though. How's that working out for you???
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Gusber
Chatty Member
Having only today watched the vlog where our Lidl tearfully laments how she wishes she could have told younger Lidl that one day she’d have a heated steering wheel and think nothing of it, I started to think about what I’d tell a younger Gusber.
I’d say, “be patient, Young Gusber. You might be working 15 hour days now, driving around the country to see clients and wearing business suits and heels, presenting to rooms full of architects, whilst always stressing about hitting sales targets and KPIs but fear not!! Fear not, Gusber Girl because by the year 2020 you’ll have a spinal cord injury, with a tear in your sciatic nerve!! You’ll never have to wear high heels again!!! You’ll exist in trainers and other comfy flats that your leg brace will fit into. You’ll spend most of the day (and night) lying flat on your back because you’re not able to sit any longer, so you can be a lazy little moo moo pippiehead for as long as you want!! You’ll end up single and alone because men seem to prize ladies who have legs, a bladder and bowel that work properly, so you’ll always have control of the remote!! You won’t travel nor drive a fancy German engineered car with heated seats and a heated steering wheel anymore but you will have a mobility scooter, so you need never be a pedestrian again!! Instead you’ll whizz past folk, parping on your little scooter horn as you go, with the wind in your hair, which you don’t fry with oil and straighteners or have bleached five times back to back!!
Oh if only I had known what lay ahead for Young Gusber I’D HAVE APPRECIATED TRIPLEFOLD HOW LUCKY AND PRIVILEGED I WAS. I’D HAVE BEEN MORE HUMBLE AND SHOWN EVEN MORE KINDNESS TO THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN I WAS. I‘D HAVE LAID OFF THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RETORTS TO OTHERS BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT DIFFICULTIES ANOTHER HUMAN MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING. But most importantly, I’d have told myself not to buy a single thing because some lazy, over-privileged beggar influencer who pretended to be my best friend whilst eye-fucking themselves in their (gifted) camera recommended I should. I’d have saved hundreds of pounds that would come in very useful, as I’m unable to work. From high flying business woman in suit and heels to a sedentary, broken, depressed benefits scrounger! Please take note and change your ways, Lidl, for we never know what’s around the corner for us and it isn’t always heated steering wheels...
I’d say, “be patient, Young Gusber. You might be working 15 hour days now, driving around the country to see clients and wearing business suits and heels, presenting to rooms full of architects, whilst always stressing about hitting sales targets and KPIs but fear not!! Fear not, Gusber Girl because by the year 2020 you’ll have a spinal cord injury, with a tear in your sciatic nerve!! You’ll never have to wear high heels again!!! You’ll exist in trainers and other comfy flats that your leg brace will fit into. You’ll spend most of the day (and night) lying flat on your back because you’re not able to sit any longer, so you can be a lazy little moo moo pippiehead for as long as you want!! You’ll end up single and alone because men seem to prize ladies who have legs, a bladder and bowel that work properly, so you’ll always have control of the remote!! You won’t travel nor drive a fancy German engineered car with heated seats and a heated steering wheel anymore but you will have a mobility scooter, so you need never be a pedestrian again!! Instead you’ll whizz past folk, parping on your little scooter horn as you go, with the wind in your hair, which you don’t fry with oil and straighteners or have bleached five times back to back!!
Oh if only I had known what lay ahead for Young Gusber I’D HAVE APPRECIATED TRIPLEFOLD HOW LUCKY AND PRIVILEGED I WAS. I’D HAVE BEEN MORE HUMBLE AND SHOWN EVEN MORE KINDNESS TO THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN I WAS. I‘D HAVE LAID OFF THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RETORTS TO OTHERS BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT DIFFICULTIES ANOTHER HUMAN MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING. But most importantly, I’d have told myself not to buy a single thing because some lazy, over-privileged beggar influencer who pretended to be my best friend whilst eye-fucking themselves in their (gifted) camera recommended I should. I’d have saved hundreds of pounds that would come in very useful, as I’m unable to work. From high flying business woman in suit and heels to a sedentary, broken, depressed benefits scrounger! Please take note and change your ways, Lidl, for we never know what’s around the corner for us and it isn’t always heated steering wheels...
Elle Belle
Chatty Member
This. Is. Why. Your. Tattle. Thread. Goes. Off. So. Much!!! Not because we're all jealous trolls. But because you are a patronising and delusional twat waffle. This is all your own doing. You're a victim of your own stupidity and bitterness.
Miscanthus
VIP Member
Lidl has realised that the bottom has dropped out of retail (not her bottom obvs as she doesnt have one) so she's embracing the great outdoors:
Cutting branches off her "European" plum tree to bring inside
Going for astroll hike with BFF Cawwie and foraging for food nicking a broad bean from a farmer's field
Making "large" jars of jam from a teaspoon of blackberries
Growing 'water ' cress on the windowsill (just because cress needs water doesn't make it watercress)
Planning the 'kitchen garden ' out off sight of the kitchen
Marking out raised beds with twigs then deciding she needs landscapers as it's too much like hard work
Whingeing that said landscapers didn't turn up......try paying them
Visiting avinyard wineyard winyard winingyard winingbitch vineyard but only showing herself (hold the bloody wine glass properly!)
Growing 'sproooouuuutlings ' on the windowsill with seeds fromScotland Amazon
Travelling around thecountry Lake District Peak District Cawwie's Mum's house researching greenhouses
Begging for a "Victorian" greenhouse as theshed summerhouse outside office wasn't forthcoming
Accepting free veg deliveries from NHS workers for weeks even though she doesn't like vegetables
Taking the fence down between the "grounds " and their "woodland"
Begging for a wood burning hot tub to put in the woodland
Posing in sunflower barley corn grass (delete as applicable) fields like every other bloody instagrammer
Accepting a huge gifted rose order from David Austin Roses for the 'rose garden '
Getting a beehive because it goes with her "assthetics "
Planting a rose inthe rose garden milk churn with no drainage holes
Watching Ali assemble a planter and painting it sage
Painting everything sage
Wearing aprons. All. The. Time.
Visiting her neighbour Fashion Mumblr (Northamptonshire Buckinghamshire is next to the Cotswolds don't you know) to pick up tips on greenhouse raised beds Fendi dog walking bags floral linen straw bags Aga how to hold a wine glass
Slothing on the recliner outside rather than the sofa inside holding wine glass (by the bowl)
I could go on but losing the will to live and I know far more about her than is healthy!
Cutting branches off her "European" plum tree to bring inside
Going for a
Making "large" jars of jam from a teaspoon of blackberries
Growing 'water ' cress on the windowsill (just because cress needs water doesn't make it watercress)
Planning the 'kitchen garden ' out off sight of the kitchen
Marking out raised beds with twigs then deciding she needs landscapers as it's too much like hard work
Whingeing that said landscapers didn't turn up......try paying them
Visiting a
Growing 'sproooouuuutlings ' on the windowsill with seeds from
Travelling around the
Begging for a "Victorian" greenhouse as the
Accepting free veg deliveries from NHS workers for weeks even though she doesn't like vegetables
Taking the fence down between the "grounds " and their "woodland"
Begging for a wood burning hot tub to put in the woodland
Posing in sunflower barley corn grass (delete as applicable) fields like every other bloody instagrammer
Accepting a huge gifted rose order from David Austin Roses for the 'rose garden '
Getting a beehive because it goes with her "assthetics "
Planting a rose in
Watching Ali assemble a planter and painting it sage
Painting everything sage
Wearing aprons. All. The. Time.
Visiting her neighbour Fashion Mumblr (
Slothing on the recliner outside rather than the sofa inside holding wine glass (by the bowl)
I could go on but losing the will to live and I know far more about her than is healthy!
So she’s got a fendi lilac bag worth £2950, a Messika diamond necklace which is listed at £4000, a Carolina Herrera handbag worth £990, a CH shorts for £310 all for FREE! Yes ladies you read it correct GIFTED ie FREE!! That is over £8000 worth of free shite she’s got for doing no work at all, which as someone mentioned will be depopped sooner or later. It is truly sickening.
Ps- I’m sure there were other free items as well but by this point I had enough. I’m appalled!
Ps- I’m sure there were other free items as well but by this point I had enough. I’m appalled!
CBo
VIP Member
That is 100 percent confirmation. I love how she did that
I agree with you on this. I definitely felt for them losing Lynx, it’s really really sad to lose a pet, especially if you don’t get any closure. But I do think she needs to have a bit of perspective. In lockdown I had a miscarriage, my grandma died, my dog died and my brother has had a breakdown (and he’s 3000 miles away and I can’t get to him). I’m not fishing for sympathy I promise, but she really has no clue about hardship or tragedy and, to be frank, if her cat going missing is the worst thing that’s happened to her then she’s a pretty lucky woman.
Yogaqueen
Member
That’s right! Lydia went to Nicky on the 30th & wasn’t happy so Nicky offered a week before her DD & on her day off to try and rectify it on the 2nd July. Lydia was verbally abusive to the point Nicky’s family stepped in & asked her to leave (hence the no payment) & against Nicky’s advice Lydia then went somewhere else/ continued to use a load of heat on it which is why she has the breakage. Nicky was so upset the midwife told her to stop working immediately. Lydia has no one to blame but her own stupid self but as usual won’t accept any blame or self reflect. Vile creature!
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coconochanel
VIP Member
Lydia hun you will be pleased to know this morning when I washed my hair I took your sound advice and made sure it was throughly wet before I shampooed it and WOW how it lathered up! I mean who'd have thought it? making sure your hair is wet before you put the shampoo on! I didn't use Function of beauty though I used Elvive by Loreal you know the brand you loved when they paid you to say you did. Then I towel dried it and applied some Ouai products. I know what your thinking 'how come that tattle bitch is using Ouai when I used cheap Palmers leave in conditioner?' well thats because I put my hand in my purse and paid for them with my own money SHOCK HORROR a concept your not used to. We do have one thing in common though I didnt dry my hair with the Dyson hairdryer either not because I wont pay for one (like you), I just don't want one. So I used a trusty old £60 Tony & Guy hair dryer and you will be surprised to know my hair didn't resemble a lion's mane after its had an electric shock. 
mindlessness
VIP Member
What an unpleasant thing to happen
Her little baby boy is a cutie!My sleuthing:
- Nicky's due date was July 8th according to IG.
- What was Lydia up to around July 4th? IG indicates it was near the time they drove up to Carrie's Mum's place and the Lake District.
- Nicky is North of Lydia too right?
- On Nicky's IG May 26th there is a post of Lydia showing how the previous colour has grown out and Nicky says 'can't wait to see you soon!'
- Something has definitely been done to Lydia's hair colour wise since May.
- Nicky isn't following Lydia at the moment (but she may never have followed Lydia?) Lydia is following Nicky.
- Lydia didn't upload a video between July 2nd and July 14 ("Im back" video). We all assumed life-crisis thanks to Globy flop.
- On the July 14th video the following comment and response appears:
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romulus
Member
Newbie Alert 
I do not care that she has changed her appearance, has a poor diet, bangs on about her hair, constantly touches her nose, is now a gardening channel, cannot cook, etc
What I do care about is that my 14-year-old niece wants to be an influencer because she can ‘get free stuff and be famous’.
Brand puppets influencers like Lyspia, Frow and Mumbles show our youth that being skinny, pretty, and white has commercial value. Nothing new here I know, but as they do not show any other discernible skills to indicate how they have achieved their status, the assumption is that they are being bribed showered with free goods based on their ability to look good on the gram.
As adults, we are all here to have a combined laugh at the ridiculousness that is Lyspia, because we have life experience and can contextualise the absurdity that isbrand dummy influencer life. I care about young people who believe these idiots influencers and strive to emulate them. Particularly if the product pusher influencer is not showing their true self and portraying a false heightened perfect life. Also, would it kill one of these company minions influencers to educate themselves in sales techniques?
Oh, I also care about her being rude to hairdressers. Not cool.
I do not care that she has changed her appearance, has a poor diet, bangs on about her hair, constantly touches her nose, is now a gardening channel, cannot cook, etc
What I do care about is that my 14-year-old niece wants to be an influencer because she can ‘get free stuff and be famous’.
As adults, we are all here to have a combined laugh at the ridiculousness that is Lyspia, because we have life experience and can contextualise the absurdity that is
Oh, I also care about her being rude to hairdressers. Not cool.
FlipFlop0706
VIP Member
Nicky’s just commented on dates her hair was done and is going to do a video!!!!
Where’s the popcorn!
Where’s the popcorn!
saneinsanity2020
Member
I don't usually comment about people's families but....the way she uses her mother as a pawn to sound relatable is so obnoxious and degrading.
Your mother's experience of working in a supermarket shouldn't be your only experience of how normal working class people have been effected by the pandemic. To state her mothers struggles, then a few minutes later swan off to London to promote excessive and unnecessary spending makes no sense to me.
Your mother's experience of working in a supermarket shouldn't be your only experience of how normal working class people have been effected by the pandemic. To state her mothers struggles, then a few minutes later swan off to London to promote excessive and unnecessary spending makes no sense to me.
Peppypoopar
VIP Member
Hugs sweetieHaving only today watched the vlog where our Lidl tearfully laments how she wishes she could have told younger Lidl that one day she’d have a heated steering wheel and think nothing of it, I started to think about what I’d tell a younger Gusber.
I’d say, “be patient, Young Gusber. You might be working 15 hour days now, driving around the country to see clients and wearing business suits and heels, presenting to rooms full of architects, whilst always stressing about hitting sales targets and KPIs but fear not!! Fear not, Gusber Girl because by the year 2020 you’ll have a spinal cord injury, with a tear in your sciatic nerve!! You’ll never have to wear high heels again!!! You’ll exist in trainers and other comfy flats that your leg brace will fit into. You’ll spend most of the day (and night) lying flat on your back because you’re not able to sit any longer, so you can be a lazy little moo moo pippiehead for as long as you want!! You’ll end up single and alone because men seem to prize ladies who have legs, a bladder and bowel that work properly, so you’ll always have control of the remote!! You won’t travel nor drive a fancy German engineered car with heated seats and a heated steering wheel anymore but you will have a mobility scooter, so you need never be a pedestrian again!! Instead you’ll whizz past folk, parping on your little scooter horn as you go, with the wind in your hair, which you don’t fry with oil and straighteners or have bleached five times back to back!!
Oh if only I had known what lay ahead for Young Gusber I’D HAVE APPRECIATED TRIPLEFOLD HOW LUCKY AND PRIVILEGED I WAS. I’D HAVE BEEN MORE HUMBLE AND SHOWN EVEN MORE KINDNESS TO THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN I WAS. I‘D HAVE LAID OFF THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RETORTS TO OTHERS BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT DIFFICULTIES ANOTHER HUMAN MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING. But most importantly, I’d have told myself not to buy a single thing because some lazy, over-privileged beggar influencer who pretended to be my best friend whilst eye-fucking themselves in their (gifted) camera recommended I should. I’d have saved hundreds of pounds that would come in very useful, as I’m unable to work. From high flying business woman in suit and heels to a sedentary, broken, depressed benefits scrounger! Please take note and change your ways, Lidl, for we never know what’s around the corner for us and it isn’t always heated steering wheels...
I'd tell my younger self to do more in life, travel etc, not just concentrate on getting up at 6am, drive up motorways for a hour and a half to get to work, work hard for 8-9 hours in my office then 1 hour and half journey home, cook dinner, housework, look after my then step daughter, then husband etc etc
Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 28, first flare up at 23. Few years on wheelchair etc, housebound. Again not asking for sympathy, we are the true strong women
Lydia has now idea of how hard life can be and moans about her hair and skin, always on the beg. She's an embarrassment.
Just watched!!
I have a few points to make:
1. pretty sure wearing face masks in taxis is mandatory to stop the spread of droplets.
2. I skipped through most of the shopping part as couldn’t be bothered to listen to her.
3. When she said she had a London ‘back to back’ day, this implies a busy day of meetings. I don’t think dentist, hair and shopping quite qualify that statement. (Over inflated sense of self importance)
4. Seems weird she won’t say what happened to her hair. Do we think she ruined it herself trying to home dye during lockdown? but why not just explain what happened to it? Who even cares. I couldn’t care less about the state of her hair.
5. Look at the size of those raised beds.
She’s going to have a hard time keeping them looking decent next year and for a couple who seems to eat pizza and pasta as thier diet with no veg, god knows what she’s planning on growing. You can’t grow pasta.
4. the wild flowers they obviously sowed them way too late If they are still tiny seedlings Nd a in the ground like that (another sign they have no idea about gardening or even bother to read the packet) those wild flowers will probably not flower as they are too late. That means they won’t self seed for next year either. Lydia will probably moan they were given dud seeds.
5. She said she needed to water her silver birch tree And trotted over with onewatering can. Haha. Again no idea. That watering can of water won’t have even touched the sides. She would need to put the hose there and leave it for about ten minutes to be of any use to the trees roots.
6. She’s so boring.
7. there were about 50 adds in that you tube video.
I have a few points to make:
1. pretty sure wearing face masks in taxis is mandatory to stop the spread of droplets.
2. I skipped through most of the shopping part as couldn’t be bothered to listen to her.
3. When she said she had a London ‘back to back’ day, this implies a busy day of meetings. I don’t think dentist, hair and shopping quite qualify that statement. (Over inflated sense of self importance)
4. Seems weird she won’t say what happened to her hair. Do we think she ruined it herself trying to home dye during lockdown? but why not just explain what happened to it? Who even cares. I couldn’t care less about the state of her hair.
5. Look at the size of those raised beds.
She’s going to have a hard time keeping them looking decent next year and for a couple who seems to eat pizza and pasta as thier diet with no veg, god knows what she’s planning on growing. You can’t grow pasta.4. the wild flowers
they obviously sowed them way too late If they are still tiny seedlings Nd a in the ground like that (another sign they have no idea about gardening or even bother to read the packet) those wild flowers will probably not flower as they are too late. That means they won’t self seed for next year either. Lydia will probably moan they were given dud seeds.5. She said she needed to water her silver birch tree And trotted over with onewatering can. Haha. Again no idea. That watering can of water won’t have even touched the sides. She would need to put the hose there and leave it for about ten minutes to be of any use to the trees roots.
6. She’s so boring.
7. there were about 50 adds in that you tube video.