Long-term relationships in your 20s

[Ellzbellz2020]

Started speaking to my partner when I was 17 and he was 19 - didn’t meet until 3 months later when I was 18 but I knew of him due to him being a couple years above me at school. Still together nearly 4 years on (now 21 and 23) I honestly think getting to know him over those three months is why our relationship became a ‘serious’ longterm one as neither of us rushed into it without knowing each other pretty well.

we try to travel as much as poss we’d just been to Mexico before the pandemic hit and we go on holiday with his extended family twice a year. It works out really nicely as I’ve kinda just ‘fitted’ into his family and his cousin has become my best friend. But he also goes on his boys holidays which I don’t mind as I really think balance is key.

im finishing uni this summer ( I got to my city’s uni so still live at home which was the plan even before I met him) and he’s a qualified sparky so we’re hoping to move in together within the next two years as we’ve both been saving for the past few years. We’re also pretty much the same on when we want to get engaged, married and start a family but we also both recognise that we’re still so young and have so much time yet. I think it also helps that my best friend is his best friends girlfriend so we all spend a lot of time together part of a big group of about 10 which works really nicely as although we’re at the same events it doesn’t mean we’re stuck to each other’s side.


I honestly think the key to a young but serious relationship is communication and being close to their family. I know I could go to his parents about anything - his mums like my bestfriend and I know he could go to mine as well.
I know he’s the one so I’m not bothered that I missed out on going out and having ‘fun’ during my late teens. Ive never once doubted being with him and seeing his brothers both break up with their girlfriends these past few months have cemented it even more

 

[Giggling Squid]

We’ve been together since I was 24 and he was 27. He had moved to the UK for a couple of years work experience after being made redundant in NI. We’ve travelled a fair bit, no kids, no marriage (yet?). We moved in together after 9 months, and rented until early 2020 when we bought our first home. I’m now 33 and he’s still here.... oops. The plan was always to buy a house before we thought about getting married, as we both believe that that’s a bigger, and more important commitment than marriage. Just waiting on a ring now

I don’t think I was that young, and I don’t think I missed out on anything. I met the best person in the world, and I wouldn’t change a thing

 

[BreastfeedingForHours]

We met at 22-24 and after a few months together I found out I was pregnant. We moved in together, he started his phd and I finished uni, baby arrived. A couple of tough years followed, adjusting couple and life and work with a baby. Bur we found our feet, started moving around the globe following his and my career, now have been together 15 years and have two more babies. We stopped moving when our second arrived.
many people assume and tell us we missed everything in life, but as the years go by I notice it happens less and less. Come 35~ all our friends more or less seem to want a family and kids and I have found, to my big surprise, it’s not really that being older makes it easier. I feel lucky I have found a person I still love this much and grew up next to them, living such an adventure. I tend to think you just roll with whatever life throws at you, better to have remorses than regrets.

 

[RobinsNest]

My husband and I met first day of uni. Were friends for the first year and started dating at 19. Got married at 24. Bought a house a few years later. First child at 28. Now in our mid 30s. Coming up to our 10th wedding anniversary.

We moved in together after we left uni, it was out of convenience rather than anything romantic. We travelled a fair bit together, but not as much as I'd have liked. Pre-child we travelled separately too- I like hot holidays with beaches for surfing and mountains to climb. He like cooler climates with lots of museums and things to learn. So we'd go with our own friends and it was good for us to have that time away and things to talk about when we got back. I wish I'd travelled more, but I think it was more limited by finance than being with my partner.

Some things are rough. You fall into habits and taking each other for granted. It takes effort to keep things interesting. It's definitely not fresh and exciting like it was for the first couple of years, but then neither are we. Some things have been limited by being together- like job opportunities. We work in vastly different industries so that limited where each of us could live and find work. There's been a lot of compromises.

But it's been nice having someone to share life with- we've learned how to adult together. There's always been back up when we've wanted to move across the country or start a new job. There's also something quite nice about not having to deal with before times. I've had friends really like a partner then find something huge that happened before they got together- exes, children etc, that we've never had to worry about. And now we're in our 30s, we can concentrate on ourselves with more money and someone to support us than alot of our friends. A combined income has been really helpful for getting on the property ladder. We're starting our own businesses now our daughter is at school.

I think it's helped that we have the same mindset in that, this really is IT. We've grown up enough together to know each other better than we know ourselves. I know most people will say things like "Oh yeah, I trust my partner, I know them", but I think your 20s are your most challenging age. You change the most, you have a lot of things to learn and navigate. If you see someone grow throughout that, I think you really do know them. So when we have a challenge or an argument, our approach is, we have to get through this, how to we fix OUR problem?

 

[Trey93]

Met when I was 19 & he was 22. Engaged and moved in together a couple of years later, 10 years later and we have 3 kids.

I don’t feel I missed out, we went on lots of holidays together and still went on nights out although neither of us are big on that. Being in a long term relationship is tough whenever you do it, there are always hard times no matter what age you are.

I wouldn’t change it, I don’t think my life would have been any better if I’d met him 10 years later.

 

[A1400]

I’m still quite young and newly in my relationship but the book called “the defining decade” is incredible! It’s geared towards young people in their twenties I really enjoyed the read, it touched on family, friends, work, love life etc it’s very interesting x