Lockdown Babies

[ajm93]

I had my baby end of August, he’s now 14weeks old.

Last year I had a miscarriage that turned out to a partial molar pregnancy.
It was the scariest time of my life. I’d never heard of it until it happened to me. Worse still is you are suppose to be notified almost immediately if it is a molar pregnancy to have strict monitoring. Cells can turn cancerous if they don’t remove it all. My results letter got left in a tray for four months before the hospital realised and I had a random letter asking for me to return for a consultation. Administrative error they said. Got the shock of my life when they explained it had been a partial molar and all this time I had been walking around, assuming I was fine and trying for another baby which I shouldn’t of been doing! Thankfully an emergency blood test showed I was all ok and they had got it all. To say it messed me up would be an understatement. When I got pregnant again my husband and I were petrified. Thankfully he got to attend the early scan and the 12 week scan with me. 20 weeks scan had to attend on my own. I can’t even explain how scared I was. The sonographer was so understanding and asked me if I’d prefer her to chat through it or be quiet. I said chat and she was absolutely incredible at every stage, reassuring me my baby was healthy. She was only meant to give me one photo and gave me six haha.
I was classed as high risk and was induced but labour went very well. Quick and straight forward thankfully and now have my little bubs, who is four months old.
The pandemic on top has took its toll on my mental health. I feel anxious all the time lately. My husband is at work constantly as he was off all over summer lockdown and they have their own construction business so they are having to make up for it. I feel lonely and my mat leave has been wasted.

Oh that is so awful, I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like! Glad all is well with you and baba though! Motherhood can be really lonely but even more so in this situation where you can’t meet up with friends/family or go to baby groups.

I’m an anxiety sufferer too, it’s horrible isn’t it. Just that constant uneasy feeling. Things will get better though, even though it might not feel like it at the moment

 

[MissRabbit]

My sister had her second baby at the end of 2019. She feels sad that the first year of his life was so different to his big brother's with not being able to go to classes, swimming, etc. She also feels she has been cheated out of her maternity leave, with not being able to go out, see her friends or pop in to see the grandparents.

I must say he is one happy baby though. Lockdown does not seem to affect him from an emotional and developmental point of view. Also a silver lining is his dad got to spend an extra three months with him due to being on furlough.

Sending so much love to everyone. It is easy for people to say the good outweighs the bad, but parenthood can be challenging enough without a pandemic and lockdown thrown into the mix

 

[Dexy]

Oh that is so awful, I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like! Glad all is well with you and baba though! Motherhood can be really lonely but even more so in this situation where you can’t meet up with friends/family or go to baby groups.

I’m an anxiety sufferer too, it’s horrible isn’t it. Just that constant uneasy feeling. Things will get better though, even though it might not feel like it at the moment

It is. I’m an anxious person who overthinks at the best of times. Usually I have a full diary and keep myself busy. I have many friends and a healthy social life. I’m always taking my little boy out to places too. I love having plans in place as a healthy distraction, so this lockdown for me is mentally exhausting. I can literally be ok and then think myself depressed.

 

[Loveitme]

Hello , I had a lockdown baby in May and got pregnant in the second lockdown last month so due in august .I’ve had two hospital stays with my baby during lockdown one then again in lockdown 2.

 

[Fishnips]

Can I join in? My baby was actually born in December 2019. I am SO grateful that my (although awful) partner was there during induction and early labour, and that I had midwife appointments etc as usual. I really am. I can't even begin to imagine how nerve wracking and upsetting it could be to go to scans, induction, appointments etc alone. Not only for mum's, but their partners, too.

We've still missed out on a lot and it upsets me so much. I really don't wish to discount anybody's experience who actually had a baby in lockdown, right before or who is pregnant now.

I was not the "mum type" before falling pregnant, but as soon as I did, my baby was (and is) my absolute everything and I so wanted to do the swim lessons, baby massage, sensory classes, play groups, soft play, zoos, farms, etc. And I've never had the chance. I struggled a lot with breastfeeding to start with and having a couple weeks of support at a local group was such a relief and I will forever be grateful to those women, but then it was all taken away and suddenly I felt so incredibly alone. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time which didn't help with the loneliness and I felt like I had nothing and nobody for support. But just as my little one came into herself and started responding to other people and other babies at group, everything got shut down. There's local groups for lockdown babies but we don't qualify because she was 12 weeks by the time we went into lockdown.

I really hope this post isn't taken badly. My heart hurts for everybody who has "real" lockdown babies. It really does. Though I wasn't going through the maternity restrictions, my heart broke for everybody who ws, and though I know it "had" to happen, it angers me so incredibly much. I just don't really know where else to turn. My friend's with older children don't really understand, and repeatedly tell me there's still pools open etc but I'm terrified of unnecessarily exposing my baby to anything.

 

[ajm93]

Can I join in? My baby was actually born in December 2019. I am SO grateful that my (although awful) partner was there during induction and early labour, and that I had midwife appointments etc as usual. I really am. I can't even begin to imagine how nerve wracking and upsetting it could be to go to scans, induction, appointments etc alone. Not only for mum's, but their partners, too.

We've still missed out on a lot and it upsets me so much. I really don't wish to discount anybody's experience who actually had a baby in lockdown, right before or who is pregnant now.

I was not the "mum type" before falling pregnant, but as soon as I did, my baby was (and is) my absolute everything and I so wanted to do the swim lessons, baby massage, sensory classes, play groups, soft play, zoos, farms, etc. And I've never had the chance. I struggled a lot with breastfeeding to start with and having a couple weeks of support at a local group was such a relief and I will forever be grateful to those women, but then it was all taken away and suddenly I felt so incredibly alone. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time which didn't help with the loneliness and I felt like I had nothing and nobody for support. But just as my little one came into herself and started responding to other people and other babies at group, everything got shut down. There's local groups for lockdown babies but we don't qualify because she was 12 weeks by the time we went into lockdown.

I really hope this post isn't taken badly. My heart hurts for everybody who has "real" lockdown babies. It really does. Though I wasn't going through the maternity restrictions, my heart broke for everybody who ws, and though I know it "had" to happen, it angers me so incredibly much. I just don't really know where else to turn. My friend's with older children don't really understand, and repeatedly tell me there's still pools open etc but I'm terrified of unnecessarily exposing my baby to anything.

Another December 2019 baby here . I totally get what you mean, it’s been hard stuck in the house and not being able to go to groups etc. Sorry to hear that your partner was awful are you ok now? X

 

[Fishnips]

Another December 2019 baby here . I totally get what you mean, it’s been hard stuck in the house and not being able to go to groups etc. Sorry to hear that your partner was awful are you ok now? X

I've split from him now. He's very good with her and his other kids, so whilst still very much trying to maintain control over me, I cant fault him as a dad which is what is most important to me. She's very much content with him and does have a weekly overnight with him which she seems to really enjoy. I built a home with him and left with nothing which has been really hard but we will get there eventually! I don't have support from any family and I don't have many friends either but I have a couple of really solid friends so I'm definitely in a much better place than I was!

Have you been keeping busy? I pop her in the carrier and go for a good walk most days but she isn't walking yet and is increasingly frustrated at being restricted to a carrier/buggy which I'm finding difficult!

 

[ajm93]

I've split from him now. He's very good with her and his other kids, so whilst still very much trying to maintain control over me, I cant fault him as a dad which is what is most important to me. She's very much content with him and does have a weekly overnight with him which she seems to really enjoy. I built a home with him and left with nothing which has been really hard but we will get there eventually! I don't have support from any family and I don't have many friends either but I have a couple of really solid friends so I'm definitely in a much better place than I was!

Have you been keeping busy? I pop her in the carrier and go for a good walk most days but she isn't walking yet and is increasingly frustrated at being restricted to a carrier/buggy which I'm finding difficult!

Ah you’re doing the best thing for you which is the main thing and at least he does still have a relationship with your daughter. Glad to hear you’re in a better place now!

Yeah it’s really hard especially with the colder weather! My little one isn’t walking yet either but she’s trying to climb EVERYTHING which keeps me on my toes ha. She doesn’t like being in the pram much either! I’m back at work in the new year so she will be off to nursery, I think she’ll enjoy the change of scenery and new people to interact with tbh, she must be sick of me by now haha

 

[Fishnips]

Yeah it’s really hard especially with the colder weather! My little one isn’t walking yet either but she’s trying to climb EVERYTHING which keeps me on my toes ha. She doesn’t like being in the pram much either! I’m back at work in the new year so she will be off to nursery, I think she’ll enjoy the change of scenery and new people to interact with tbh, she must be sick of me by now haha

Sounds just like my little monkey.
Yeah I think nursery will be great for them at this age and it's nice for them to be able to socialise given the circumstances. My LO did a few afternoons at nursery and she had a blast. Unfortunately my ex made me quit work and I've not found a new job yet so it had to stop as the fees were crippling me but she'll definitely be going back once I'm working again. How do you find your little one is with leaving you?

 

[ajm93]

Sounds just like my little monkey.
Yeah I think nursery will be great for them at this age and it's nice for them to be able to socialise given the circumstances. My LO did a few afternoons at nursery and she had a blast. Unfortunately my ex made me quit work and I've not found a new job yet so it had to stop as the fees were crippling me but she'll definitely be going back once I'm working again. How do you find your little one is with leaving you?

Ah I’m so glad you’re out of that situation - your ex sounds horrendous!

The fees are insane aren’t they.
She’s fine leaving me tbh. I mean, if I’m with her and I leave the room for even two seconds she moans but if I ever leave the house (to go to the shop or for work when I did my KIT days for example) she’s absolutely fine. She did a settle at her nursery just before Christmas and she was absolutely fine too! No tears - well not when leaving me but she was crying when I went to pick her up! She was only there for two hours and she was out of her normal routine so was tired and they were just settling the other littleuns for their naps when it was time for her to leave. They said she was great though and that she just got on with playing and they reckon she’ll be fine when she starts there properly.

I’m kinda dreading her going though even though I know she will more than likely love it and it will do her some good to have a change of scenery and people, I’m going to miss her so much! Especially as I’ll be working from home so she won’t be around the house during the day, it’ll probably feel easier on the days where I’ll be in the office as I felt fine when I went in for my KIT days.

I just can’t believe how fast the last 12 months have gone - especially as lockdown 1 seemed to draaag

 

[derbyshiregirl]

I had my baby in May so full on lockdown baby. I was already in hospital when I went into labour as I had pre-eclampsia.

I was stuck in a ward with other women mooing like a cow without my husband there to look after me, and he was there only two hours before she was born. He then left four hours later.
The problem was we had to stay in hospital for three more nights and were told it may be another week. However I couldn’t take my baby off the ward to see my husband so he missed out on all that time with her and I was exhausted with no help, no visitors.

I feel like my maternity leave has been wasted and I go back to work shortly. I don’t live near friends so wanted to go to classes, coffee mornings etc to meet other mums but haven’t been able to do that. I think the only saving grace is that she is my first baby so at least I can’t compare it to a previous experience.

 

[CherryBakewell]

I had my baby in June and have really struggled with the lockdown restrictions. I had to be induced as I had pre eclampsia, spent four days in hospital on my own, my husband obviously couldn’t be there with me it was really horrible. I was so looking forward to classes and meeting other mums (I’m the first of my friends to have a baby) and obviously that hasn’t happened. I honestly feel so lonely and isolated. I love my son but it’s so bloody hard just now

 

[Bobbleowl90]

I had my first baby December 2019.

I had such plans for my maternity - mainly to meet other mums and get some new friends. We’ve managed a few play groups but nothing much where we’ve actually made any friendships this was the biggest thing for me.

We have been abroad though, to the seaside, the zoo, to different parts of the UK. People do comment on how much we do, so that makes me feel a bit good because I do want to cram as much in as possible. My little one is really sociable and isn’t shy at all - it’s just me who feels really lonely as I have tit friends and really thought this was my chance to meet new people.

I go back to work in a fortnight.