Lockdown Babies

[watermelon sugar]

Hi!

I don't know if this is the right place to put this thread but I thought I'd give it a go anyway.

Just thought it would be nice for people who have had lockdown babies to talk? Share their experiences etc.

I had my first baby a couple of weeks before lockdown started so I was extremely lucky I had my boyfriend with my the whole hospital stay while I got induced.
The things I've found the hardest are:
I got completely fobbed off when I had my baby, no midwife checked my tummy and I ended up with a womb infection and quite ill
Didn't get my final appointment with my midwife and I haven't seen my HV since the baby was first born
He hasn't been weighed since he was 3 months old. Only cos I managed to persuade my HV to drop the scales off on my doorstep!
My family live nowhere near me and have only seen my baby a handful of times. He is so shy because the only people he really sees are me and my boyfriend, when he does see my family he is really shy and not himself. He is very clingy with me because of this!

My little guy is 9 months now, I find it insane that all of his life hes been in lockdown more or less! I'd have loved to have gone to some baby clubs but there's none on in my area January I think they start


Hope this threads a good idea

 

[Rosie878]

I had my second baby in October, 7 weeks ago.

The hardest thing was attending the 12 week scan alone having had a missed miscarriage a few months before. I was so scared and wanted my partner there with me.

The maternity support worker trying tohelp me breastfeed in full PPE. Pretty much impossible.

only going out to shops - no baby groups or cafes and nowhere has feeding facilities.

on the positive side my partner is working from home and is developing a lovely bond with the baby. There hasn’t been the pressure to meet people/have loads of guests so I can concentrate on adjusting to having two children gently.

 

[rosieflowers]

Hey,

I had my first baby at the end of June so know how all you ladies feel. I don't want this thread to be a big pity party but I have really hated the fact I had my first baby this year, although she is the best best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm completely obsessed

I just feel like I spent the whole of Covid from March to June so so stressed about what rules would be in place and whether anyone would get to meet baby so I really didn't get to enjoy pregnancy.

We have missed out on so much, from the trivial stuff like shopping for prams and baby bits, to last days out/ baby showers/ last holiday pre baby, to the more serious stuff like partners at scans, baby groups, antenatal classes etc. Baby's first christmas will be crap! Have missed out on so many opportunities to dress my beautiful baby up and show her off to friends and family.

We were also supposed to get married in May (baby was a surprise!) whicj has now been postponed indefinitely, so that will all be completely different.

For me it's been the emotional side, there's been so much angst around can/ will people meet baby, should they?!, everything being a compromise and feeling guilty and anxious all the time. I know all this is first world problems too which contributes to the guilt.

As a first time mum I also feel robbed as even if you have a second it won't be the same as you'll be so busy with two. You'll never get the pre baby time or the mum, dad and first baby time (without Covid) back.

Sorry for the pity party. I'm sure as you all know it is so so bittersweet as these babies are the best thing that has ever happened to you, but at the worst time/in the worst year

So much sympathy and empathy with you ladies! When are you guys going back to work? I will be going back sometime in April/ May depending on how long we can afford.

 

[Dexy]

I had my baby end of August, he’s now 14weeks old.

Last year I had a miscarriage that turned out to a partial molar pregnancy.
It was the scariest time of my life. I’d never heard of it until it happened to me. Worse still is you are suppose to be notified almost immediately if it is a molar pregnancy to have strict monitoring. Cells can turn cancerous if they don’t remove it all. My results letter got left in a tray for four months before the hospital realised and I had a random letter asking for me to return for a consultation. Administrative error they said. Got the shock of my life when they explained it had been a partial molar and all this time I had been walking around, assuming I was fine and trying for another baby which I shouldn’t of been doing! Thankfully an emergency blood test showed I was all ok and they had got it all. To say it messed me up would be an understatement. When I got pregnant again my husband and I were petrified. Thankfully he got to attend the early scan and the 12 week scan with me. 20 weeks scan had to attend on my own. I can’t even explain how scared I was. The sonographer was so understanding and asked me if I’d prefer her to chat through it or be quiet. I said chat and she was absolutely incredible at every stage, reassuring me my baby was healthy. She was only meant to give me one photo and gave me six haha.
I was classed as high risk and was induced but labour went very well. Quick and straight forward thankfully and now have my little bubs, who is four months old.
The pandemic on top has took its toll on my mental health. I feel anxious all the time lately. My husband is at work constantly as he was off all over summer lockdown and they have their own construction business so they are having to make up for it. I feel lonely and my mat leave has been wasted.

 

[MakeDamnSure]

I had a baby in august 2019, he was only 6 months old when the pandemic started and just getting to the age where I thought we would start being able to have fun days out, start swimming lessons etc. He is now 16 months old, he has never been to a baby group, hardly knows any of his grandparents and has had to get used to people wearing masks etc. The last months of my maternity were spent in lockdown. He had always been a bit clingy but lockdown has just intensified that as he doesn’t have any strong bonds with anyone else. His life has been so different to that of his older brothers and it has been so sad. Even though it has been hard I feel fortunate to not have had to go through pregnancy and then have a newborn with very little support and I take my hat off to anyone who has gone through this!

 

[watermelon sugar]

It's affected me a lot being a first time Mum with all this

Like I said I was very lucky to have my boyfriend with me when I was induced & gave birth! But all the other bits like - he works a lot and we've not had visitors, I'm alone a lot of the time with the baby with nothing breaking the day down. No baby classes or clubs. Baby hasn't met many people. He is SO shy and clingy. It's been really hard!! Harder than others think

I'd love to know how much he weighs. I have no idea his weight, or height or what centile he is on.

I feel like im just winging it and I know a lot of people say that is what most parents do but it just feels like a struggle a lot of the time

Wish things would go back to normal!

 

[Fishnips]

Can I join in? My baby was actually born in December 2019. I am SO grateful that my (although awful) partner was there during induction and early labour, and that I had midwife appointments etc as usual. I really am. I can't even begin to imagine how nerve wracking and upsetting it could be to go to scans, induction, appointments etc alone. Not only for mum's, but their partners, too.

We've still missed out on a lot and it upsets me so much. I really don't wish to discount anybody's experience who actually had a baby in lockdown, right before or who is pregnant now.

I was not the "mum type" before falling pregnant, but as soon as I did, my baby was (and is) my absolute everything and I so wanted to do the swim lessons, baby massage, sensory classes, play groups, soft play, zoos, farms, etc. And I've never had the chance. I struggled a lot with breastfeeding to start with and having a couple weeks of support at a local group was such a relief and I will forever be grateful to those women, but then it was all taken away and suddenly I felt so incredibly alone. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time which didn't help with the loneliness and I felt like I had nothing and nobody for support. But just as my little one came into herself and started responding to other people and other babies at group, everything got shut down. There's local groups for lockdown babies but we don't qualify because she was 12 weeks by the time we went into lockdown.

I really hope this post isn't taken badly. My heart hurts for everybody who has "real" lockdown babies. It really does. Though I wasn't going through the maternity restrictions, my heart broke for everybody who ws, and though I know it "had" to happen, it angers me so incredibly much. I just don't really know where else to turn. My friend's with older children don't really understand, and repeatedly tell me there's still pools open etc but I'm terrified of unnecessarily exposing my baby to anything.

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Had my second baby at beginning of Feb so just before it all kicked off. I’m finding it hard now more than I did during full lockdown, he’s 10 months so he definitely wants to be exploring more and out and about and seeing different and new things. We’re in tier 3 so very limited to what we can do, I feel like he’s so bored of seeing the same 3 faces every day!

Having HV/paediatrician checks over the phone has been hard as I find it hard to articulate if anything is wrong - not one single person has asked me how I am (I had severe PND with my eldest) Luckily, I am fine, but my heart goes out to every 1st/2nd/3rd etc time mum who is really struggling through this year. It’s so so tough.

I’ve tried to dissociate from the guilty feeling of him not meeting half my family/only meeting friends + family once or twice this year as it’s too much to handle but the comments I get from everyone just do my nut in! Like yes I know you’ve only met him once, dunno if you’ve realised but there’s a global pandemic going on!!

I do have to count my blessings though as my partner has been at home for 90% of the year furloughed so we’ve had more time as a family than we’ll ever get again. Sending love to you all xxx

 

[derbyshiregirl]

I had my baby in May so full on lockdown baby. I was already in hospital when I went into labour as I had pre-eclampsia.

I was stuck in a ward with other women mooing like a cow without my husband there to look after me, and he was there only two hours before she was born. He then left four hours later.
The problem was we had to stay in hospital for three more nights and were told it may be another week. However I couldn’t take my baby off the ward to see my husband so he missed out on all that time with her and I was exhausted with no help, no visitors.

I feel like my maternity leave has been wasted and I go back to work shortly. I don’t live near friends so wanted to go to classes, coffee mornings etc to meet other mums but haven’t been able to do that. I think the only saving grace is that she is my first baby so at least I can’t compare it to a previous experience.

 

[ajm93]

Another baby born just before lockdown, so luckily could have husband with me as I was in for 5 days with a failed induction ending in csection.
It's my second baby and it's been so sad to have missed all the little things I did with my first, I'm sad for first time mums who haven't had that experience at all, but also sad I won't have another chance as this is definitely my last.
On the plus side she's had a lot more time with her dad as he is WFH, and I felt a lot less pressure to be up and about doing things, but it's just so sad that so many of her family barely know her

My boyfriend was furloughed so he got to spend way more time with our little girl than he otherwise would have. Probably the only silver lining from all of this.

 

[IncognitHoe]

It's affected me a lot being a first time Mum with all this

Like I said I was very lucky to have my boyfriend with me when I was induced & gave birth! But all the other bits like - he works a lot and we've not had visitors, I'm alone a lot of the time with the baby with nothing breaking the day down. No baby classes or clubs. Baby hasn't met many people. He is SO shy and clingy. It's been really hard!! Harder than others think

I'd love to know how much he weighs. I have no idea his weight, or height or what centile he is on.

I feel like im just winging it and I know a lot of people say that is what most parents do but it just feels like a struggle a lot of the time

Wish things would go back to normal!

if you have a set of scales, you could weigh yourself then weigh yourself again with baby in your arms? Take your first measurement and the weight of you weighing yourself with baby to find out how much baby weighs? I don’t own scales even as a PT I think it can be unhealthy to be fixated on numbers but as long as you’re feeling good within yourself that’s all that matters sod the number but it might be a good way to find out how babies doing? Just an idea hope you’re both doing well

I’m having a baby due next year and rather nervous about it! Not enjoying how everything is this time round as it’s my second, it’s very isolating indeed! Lots of love and blessings to all you mumas xxx

 

[Dexy]

Oh that is so awful, I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like! Glad all is well with you and baba though! Motherhood can be really lonely but even more so in this situation where you can’t meet up with friends/family or go to baby groups.

I’m an anxiety sufferer too, it’s horrible isn’t it. Just that constant uneasy feeling. Things will get better though, even though it might not feel like it at the moment

It is. I’m an anxious person who overthinks at the best of times. Usually I have a full diary and keep myself busy. I have many friends and a healthy social life. I’m always taking my little boy out to places too. I love having plans in place as a healthy distraction, so this lockdown for me is mentally exhausting. I can literally be ok and then think myself depressed.

 

[MissRabbit]

My sister had her second baby at the end of 2019. She feels sad that the first year of his life was so different to his big brother's with not being able to go to classes, swimming, etc. She also feels she has been cheated out of her maternity leave, with not being able to go out, see her friends or pop in to see the grandparents.

I must say he is one happy baby though. Lockdown does not seem to affect him from an emotional and developmental point of view. Also a silver lining is his dad got to spend an extra three months with him due to being on furlough.

Sending so much love to everyone. It is easy for people to say the good outweighs the bad, but parenthood can be challenging enough without a pandemic and lockdown thrown into the mix

 

[Carrie2019]

My boyfriend was furloughed so he got to spend way more time with our little girl than he otherwise would have. Probably the only silver lining from all of this.

That’s true - that is the silver lining.
My husband has been working from home since March and I’m so grateful he’s been here every day with us. It’s been lovely actually xx

 

[Bobbleowl90]

I had my first baby December 2019.

I had such plans for my maternity - mainly to meet other mums and get some new friends. We’ve managed a few play groups but nothing much where we’ve actually made any friendships this was the biggest thing for me.

We have been abroad though, to the seaside, the zoo, to different parts of the UK. People do comment on how much we do, so that makes me feel a bit good because I do want to cram as much in as possible. My little one is really sociable and isn’t shy at all - it’s just me who feels really lonely as I have shit friends and really thought this was my chance to meet new people.

I go back to work in a fortnight.

 

[Jdottt13]

Had my second baby at the end of august. 12 week scan was end of feb so partner attended that but had to attend 20 weeks scan alone which was strange finding out we were having a boy before my partner even knowing haha. Had a straightforward birth in the birthing centre went in alone (partner dropped me off outside then I told him to park up and wait for me to ring) this was around 6:30am (woke at 5am to strong contractions and waters breaking.) Midwife watched me have a contraction and realised I wouldn’t be much longer lool so told me to get my partner in ASAP! Luckily he got a parking space easy as by time he got into the room we had the pool running already, Baby was born at 7:06am My partner was told he could stay 5-6 hours after birth as id probably be going home then anyway. Had his newborn checks and was something they just wanted to recheck in a few hours after that but they kindly let my partner stay those extra few hours which I was so grateful for (and so lucky!) went home around 5pm..
Thankfully restrictions at that point weren’t so tight meaning we could have visitors, so my mum etc. But actually also quite nice because we weren’t inundated with family just turning up lol swings & roundabouts I feel like he’s going to be quite clingy with me as he’s not used to seeing people - lockdown life is all he’s ever known! But definitely the best thing to come out of a year like no other

 

[ajm93]

Sounds just like my little monkey.
Yeah I think nursery will be great for them at this age and it's nice for them to be able to socialise given the circumstances. My LO did a few afternoons at nursery and she had a blast. Unfortunately my ex made me quit work and I've not found a new job yet so it had to stop as the fees were crippling me but she'll definitely be going back once I'm working again. How do you find your little one is with leaving you?

Ah I’m so glad you’re out of that situation - your ex sounds horrendous!

The fees are insane aren’t they.
She’s fine leaving me tbh. I mean, if I’m with her and I leave the room for even two seconds she moans but if I ever leave the house (to go to the shop or for work when I did my KIT days for example) she’s absolutely fine. She did a settle at her nursery just before Christmas and she was absolutely fine too! No tears - well not when leaving me but she was crying when I went to pick her up! She was only there for two hours and she was out of her normal routine so was tired and they were just settling the other littleuns for their naps when it was time for her to leave. They said she was great though and that she just got on with playing and they reckon she’ll be fine when she starts there properly.

I’m kinda dreading her going though even though I know she will more than likely love it and it will do her some good to have a change of scenery and people, I’m going to miss her so much! Especially as I’ll be working from home so she won’t be around the house during the day, it’ll probably feel easier on the days where I’ll be in the office as I felt fine when I went in for my KIT days.

I just can’t believe how fast the last 12 months have gone - especially as lockdown 1 seemed to draaag

 

[Uninfluenced]

Another baby born just before lockdown, so luckily could have husband with me as I was in for 5 days with a failed induction ending in csection.
It's my second baby and it's been so sad to have missed all the little things I did with my first, I'm sad for first time mums who haven't had that experience at all, but also sad I won't have another chance as this is definitely my last.
On the plus side she's had a lot more time with her dad as he is WFH, and I felt a lot less pressure to be up and about doing things, but it's just so sad that so many of her family barely know her

 

[ajm93]

Can I join in? My baby was actually born in December 2019. I am SO grateful that my (although awful) partner was there during induction and early labour, and that I had midwife appointments etc as usual. I really am. I can't even begin to imagine how nerve wracking and upsetting it could be to go to scans, induction, appointments etc alone. Not only for mum's, but their partners, too.

We've still missed out on a lot and it upsets me so much. I really don't wish to discount anybody's experience who actually had a baby in lockdown, right before or who is pregnant now.

I was not the "mum type" before falling pregnant, but as soon as I did, my baby was (and is) my absolute everything and I so wanted to do the swim lessons, baby massage, sensory classes, play groups, soft play, zoos, farms, etc. And I've never had the chance. I struggled a lot with breastfeeding to start with and having a couple weeks of support at a local group was such a relief and I will forever be grateful to those women, but then it was all taken away and suddenly I felt so incredibly alone. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time which didn't help with the loneliness and I felt like I had nothing and nobody for support. But just as my little one came into herself and started responding to other people and other babies at group, everything got shut down. There's local groups for lockdown babies but we don't qualify because she was 12 weeks by the time we went into lockdown.

I really hope this post isn't taken badly. My heart hurts for everybody who has "real" lockdown babies. It really does. Though I wasn't going through the maternity restrictions, my heart broke for everybody who ws, and though I know it "had" to happen, it angers me so incredibly much. I just don't really know where else to turn. My friend's with older children don't really understand, and repeatedly tell me there's still pools open etc but I'm terrified of unnecessarily exposing my baby to anything.

Another December 2019 baby here . I totally get what you mean, it’s been hard stuck in the house and not being able to go to groups etc. Sorry to hear that your partner was awful are you ok now? X

 

[ajm93]

I had my baby end of August, he’s now 14weeks old.

Last year I had a miscarriage that turned out to a partial molar pregnancy.
It was the scariest time of my life. I’d never heard of it until it happened to me. Worse still is you are suppose to be notified almost immediately if it is a molar pregnancy to have strict monitoring. Cells can turn cancerous if they don’t remove it all. My results letter got left in a tray for four months before the hospital realised and I had a random letter asking for me to return for a consultation. Administrative error they said. Got the shock of my life when they explained it had been a partial molar and all this time I had been walking around, assuming I was fine and trying for another baby which I shouldn’t of been doing! Thankfully an emergency blood test showed I was all ok and they had got it all. To say it messed me up would be an understatement. When I got pregnant again my husband and I were petrified. Thankfully he got to attend the early scan and the 12 week scan with me. 20 weeks scan had to attend on my own. I can’t even explain how scared I was. The sonographer was so understanding and asked me if I’d prefer her to chat through it or be quiet. I said chat and she was absolutely incredible at every stage, reassuring me my baby was healthy. She was only meant to give me one photo and gave me six haha.
I was classed as high risk and was induced but labour went very well. Quick and straight forward thankfully and now have my little bubs, who is four months old.
The pandemic on top has took its toll on my mental health. I feel anxious all the time lately. My husband is at work constantly as he was off all over summer lockdown and they have their own construction business so they are having to make up for it. I feel lonely and my mat leave has been wasted.

Oh that is so awful, I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like! Glad all is well with you and baba though! Motherhood can be really lonely but even more so in this situation where you can’t meet up with friends/family or go to baby groups.

I’m an anxiety sufferer too, it’s horrible isn’t it. Just that constant uneasy feeling. Things will get better though, even though it might not feel like it at the moment