Lockdown Babies

watermelon sugar · Dec 10, 2020

Hi!

I don't know if this is the right place to put this thread but I thought I'd give it a go anyway.

Just thought it would be nice for people who have had lockdown babies to talk? Share their experiences etc.

I had my first baby a couple of weeks before lockdown started so I was extremely lucky I had my boyfriend with my the whole hospital stay while I got induced.
The things I've found the hardest are:
I got completely fobbed off when I had my baby, no midwife checked my tummy and I ended up with a womb infection and quite ill
Didn't get my final appointment with my midwife and I haven't seen my HV since the baby was first born
He hasn't been weighed since he was 3 months old. Only cos I managed to persuade my HV to drop the scales off on my doorstep!
My family live nowhere near me and have only seen my baby a handful of times. He is so shy because the only people he really sees are me and my boyfriend, when he does see my family he is really shy and not himself. He is very clingy with me because of this!

My little guy is 9 months now, I find it insane that all of his life hes been in lockdown more or less! I'd have loved to have gone to some baby clubs but there's none on in my area

January I think they start

Hope this threads a good idea

Kim Mild · Dec 11, 2020

I had a baby at the start of the year . Haven't seen the health visitor since 6 week check and have no idea of baby 's weight or which centile they follow.
I have a toddler and a teenager, too so baby can interact with them . They have never met another baby.

britishbunny · Dec 11, 2020

I had a little boy in March. I think this is a fabulous idea!

FakeSmile · Dec 11, 2020

I find this thread really interesting - I’m due my 3rd baby in 3 weeks time and it’s going to be such a different experience to when I had my first 2, 3 and 1 years ago.

Jdottt13 · Dec 11, 2020

Had my second baby at the end of august. 12 week scan was end of feb so partner attended that but had to attend 20 weeks scan alone which was strange finding out we were having a boy before my partner even knowing haha. Had a straightforward birth in the birthing centre went in alone (partner dropped me off outside then I told him to park up and wait for me to ring) this was around 6:30am (woke at 5am to strong contractions and waters breaking.) Midwife watched me have a contraction and realised I wouldn’t be much longer lool so told me to get my partner in ASAP! Luckily he got a parking space easy as by time he got into the room we had the pool running already, Baby was born at 7:06am

My partner was told he could stay 5-6 hours after birth as id probably be going home then anyway. Had his newborn checks and was something they just wanted to recheck in a few hours after that but they kindly let my partner stay those extra few hours which I was so grateful for

(and so lucky!) went home around 5pm..
Thankfully restrictions at that point weren’t so tight meaning we could have visitors, so my mum etc. But actually also quite nice because we weren’t inundated with family just turning up lol swings & roundabouts

I feel like he’s going to be quite clingy with me as he’s not used to seeing people - lockdown life is all he’s ever known! But definitely the best thing to come out of a year like no other

Devondoll · Dec 11, 2020

I had my third baby on fathers day in June. I was induced and had to go in alone for it, i went in Saturday 8am and didn't have baby until Sunday 8pm. Hubby wasn't allowed in until I was in active labour. Thankfully they told me to ring him when they took me to break my waters as my last baby arrived quite quickly. I had baby in the evening and they were in no rush to send him home, I ended up telling him to go as I wanted to sleep (gone midnight!). I haven't seen a health visitor at all, and he hasn't been weighed since 6 weeks. I'm so grateful for the new bubble rules as now my mum can come over freely. Baby hates masks though, he won't crack a smile or interact with anyone (including me) if we have a mask on.

Carrie2019 · Dec 14, 2020

Aww great thread!
My baby was born end of may so middle of lockdown. Crazy he’s nearly 7 months and hasn’t met soooo many people yet.

HoneyBee29 · Dec 14, 2020

I’m pregnant with my first and due March 2021. I was luckily allowed my partner at all my scans and due to being low risk have only had to have 2 scans. Honestly kudos to any woman who had to give birth over lockdowns or attend apps alone I’m sure it was very difficult. I’m just worried about what the hospital situation is gonna be like by March it makes me a lot more anxious about labour

ajm93 · Dec 14, 2020

I had my first baby at the very end of 2019, so like you I feel very lucky that I could have my boyfriend in with me for everything, especially as my waters unexpectedly went around this time last year at 36wks but wasn’t induced until 10 days later and then spent a week in hospital after the birth. The first few months were fine but it has been very odd since March, there are still people my daughter hasn’t met yet or seen much of and of course no baby classes etc. She starts nursery soon, which I know will be good for her and she will love being around the other littleuns her own age but I don’t know how she will take to it at first.

Uninfluenced · Dec 14, 2020

Another baby born just before lockdown, so luckily could have husband with me as I was in for 5 days with a failed induction ending in csection.
It's my second baby and it's been so sad to have missed all the little things I did with my first, I'm sad for first time mums who haven't had that experience at all, but also sad I won't have another chance as this is definitely my last.
On the plus side she's had a lot more time with her dad as he is WFH, and I felt a lot less pressure to be up and about doing things, but it's just so sad that so many of her family barely know her

watermelon sugar · Dec 14, 2020

It's affected me a lot being a first time Mum with all this

Like I said I was very lucky to have my boyfriend with me when I was induced & gave birth! But all the other bits like - he works a lot and we've not had visitors, I'm alone a lot of the time with the baby with nothing breaking the day down. No baby classes or clubs. Baby hasn't met many people. He is SO shy and clingy. It's been really hard!! Harder than others think

I'd love to know how much he weighs. I have no idea his weight, or height or what centile he is on.

I feel like im just winging it and I know a lot of people say that is what most parents do but it just feels like a struggle a lot of the time

Wish things would go back to normal!

ajm93 · Dec 14, 2020

Uninfluenced said:
Another baby born just before lockdown, so luckily could have husband with me as I was in for 5 days with a failed induction ending in csection.
It's my second baby and it's been so sad to have missed all the little things I did with my first, I'm sad for first time mums who haven't had that experience at all, but also sad I won't have another chance as this is definitely my last.
On the plus side she's had a lot more time with her dad as he is WFH, and I felt a lot less pressure to be up and about doing things, but it's just so sad that so many of her family barely know her

My boyfriend was furloughed so he got to spend way more time with our little girl than he otherwise would have. Probably the only silver lining from all of this.

Carrie2019 · Dec 14, 2020

ajm93 said:
My boyfriend was furloughed so he got to spend way more time with our little girl than he otherwise would have. Probably the only silver lining from all of this.

That’s true - that is the silver lining.
My husband has been working from home since March and I’m so grateful he’s been here every day with us. It’s been lovely actually xx

Sailorontheseasea · Dec 14, 2020

Had my second baby at beginning of Feb so just before it all kicked off. I’m finding it hard now more than I did during full lockdown, he’s 10 months so he definitely wants to be exploring more and out and about and seeing different and new things. We’re in tier 3 so very limited to what we can do, I feel like he’s so bored of seeing the same 3 faces every day!

Having HV/paediatrician checks over the phone has been hard as I find it hard to articulate if anything is wrong - not one single person has asked me how I am (I had severe PND with my eldest) Luckily, I am fine, but my heart goes out to every 1st/2nd/3rd etc time mum who is really struggling through this year. It’s so so tough.

I’ve tried to dissociate from the guilty feeling of him not meeting half my family/only meeting friends + family once or twice this year as it’s too much to handle but the comments I get from everyone just do my nut in! Like yes I know you’ve only met him once, dunno if you’ve realised but there’s a global pandemic going on!!

I do have to count my blessings though as my partner has been at home for 90% of the year furloughed so we’ve had more time as a family than we’ll ever get again. Sending love to you all xxx

rosieflowers · Dec 14, 2020

Hey,

I had my first baby at the end of June so know how all you ladies feel. I don't want this thread to be a big pity party but I have really hated the fact I had my first baby this year, although she is the best best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm completely obsessed

I just feel like I spent the whole of Covid from March to June so so stressed about what rules would be in place and whether anyone would get to meet baby so I really didn't get to enjoy pregnancy.

We have missed out on so much, from the trivial stuff like shopping for prams and baby bits, to last days out/ baby showers/ last holiday pre baby, to the more serious stuff like partners at scans, baby groups, antenatal classes etc. Baby's first christmas will be crap! Have missed out on so many opportunities to dress my beautiful baby up and show her off to friends and family.

We were also supposed to get married in May (baby was a surprise!) whicj has now been postponed indefinitely, so that will all be completely different.

For me it's been the emotional side, there's been so much angst around can/ will people meet baby, should they?!, everything being a compromise and feeling guilty and anxious all the time. I know all this is first world problems too which contributes to the guilt.

As a first time mum I also feel robbed as even if you have a second it won't be the same as you'll be so busy with two. You'll never get the pre baby time or the mum, dad and first baby time (without Covid) back.

Sorry for the pity party. I'm sure as you all know it is so so bittersweet as these babies are the best thing that has ever happened to you, but at the worst time/in the worst year

So much sympathy and empathy with you ladies! When are you guys going back to work? I will be going back sometime in April/ May depending on how long we can afford.

ajm93 · Dec 15, 2020

rosieflowers said:
Hey,

I had my first baby at the end of June so know how all you ladies feel. I don't want this thread to be a big pity party but I have really hated the fact I had my first baby this year, although she is the best best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm completely obsessed

I just feel like I spent the whole of Covid from March to June so so stressed about what rules would be in place and whether anyone would get to meet baby so I really didn't get to enjoy pregnancy.

We have missed out on so much, from the trivial stuff like shopping for prams and baby bits, to last days out/ baby showers/ last holiday pre baby, to the more serious stuff like partners at scans, baby groups, antenatal classes etc. Baby's first christmas will be crap! Have missed out on so many opportunities to dress my beautiful baby up and show her off to friends and family.

We were also supposed to get married in May (baby was a surprise!) whicj has now been postponed indefinitely, so that will all be completely different.

For me it's been the emotional side, there's been so much angst around can/ will people meet baby, should they?!, everything being a compromise and feeling guilty and anxious all the time. I know all this is first world problems too which contributes to the guilt.

As a first time mum I also feel robbed as even if you have a second it won't be the same as you'll be so busy with two. You'll never get the pre baby time or the mum, dad and first baby time (without Covid) back.

Sorry for the pity party. I'm sure as you all know it is so so bittersweet as these babies are the best thing that has ever happened to you, but at the worst time/in the worst year

So much sympathy and empathy with you ladies! When are you guys going back to work? I will be going back sometime in April/ May depending on how long we can afford.

Don’t apologise. You’re well within your rights to feel the way you do. This isn’t how any of us planned this year to be and it’s so frustrating and even upsetting. Thankfully our babies are too young to remember this year and so won’t know that they didn’t spend X amount of time with certain family members or friends and there will be plenty of opportunities to make amazing memories that they will remember in the future xx

I’m back at work in a few weeks at the start of Jan

but will be working from home for the most part. Was originally only taking 9 months leave but decided to take my full entitlement when the pandemic hit, didn’t feel right going back this year x

MakeDamnSure · Dec 15, 2020

I had a baby in august 2019, he was only 6 months old when the pandemic started and just getting to the age where I thought we would start being able to have fun days out, start swimming lessons etc. He is now 16 months old, he has never been to a baby group, hardly knows any of his grandparents and has had to get used to people wearing masks etc. The last months of my maternity were spent in lockdown. He had always been a bit clingy but lockdown has just intensified that as he doesn’t have any strong bonds with anyone else. His life has been so different to that of his older brothers and it has been so sad. Even though it has been hard I feel fortunate to not have had to go through pregnancy and then have a newborn with very little support and I take my hat off to anyone who has gone through this!

IncognitHoe · Dec 16, 2020

Megan29220 said:
It's affected me a lot being a first time Mum with all this

Like I said I was very lucky to have my boyfriend with me when I was induced & gave birth! But all the other bits like - he works a lot and we've not had visitors, I'm alone a lot of the time with the baby with nothing breaking the day down. No baby classes or clubs. Baby hasn't met many people. He is SO shy and clingy. It's been really hard!! Harder than others think

I'd love to know how much he weighs. I have no idea his weight, or height or what centile he is on.

I feel like im just winging it and I know a lot of people say that is what most parents do but it just feels like a struggle a lot of the time

Wish things would go back to normal!

if you have a set of scales, you could weigh yourself then weigh yourself again with baby in your arms? Take your first measurement and the weight of you weighing yourself with baby to find out how much baby weighs? I don’t own scales even as a PT

I think it can be unhealthy to be fixated on numbers but as long as you’re feeling good within yourself that’s all that matters

sod the number but it might be a good way to find out how babies doing? Just an idea

hope you’re both doing well

I’m having a baby due next year and rather nervous about it! Not enjoying how everything is this time round as it’s my second, it’s very isolating indeed! Lots of love and blessings to all you mumas

xxx

Rosie878 · Dec 16, 2020

I had my second baby in October, 7 weeks ago.

The hardest thing was attending the 12 week scan alone having had a missed miscarriage a few months before. I was so scared and wanted my partner there with me.

The maternity support worker trying tohelp me breastfeed in full PPE. Pretty much impossible.

only going out to shops - no baby groups or cafes and nowhere has feeding facilities.

on the positive side my partner is working from home and is developing a lovely bond with the baby. There hasn’t been the pressure to meet people/have loads of guests so I can concentrate on adjusting to having two children gently.

Dexy · Dec 16, 2020

I had my baby end of August, he’s now 14weeks old.

Last year I had a miscarriage that turned out to a partial molar pregnancy.
It was the scariest time of my life. I’d never heard of it until it happened to me. Worse still is you are suppose to be notified almost immediately if it is a molar pregnancy to have strict monitoring. Cells can turn cancerous if they don’t remove it all. My results letter got left in a tray for four months before the hospital realised and I had a random letter asking for me to return for a consultation. Administrative error they said. Got the shock of my life when they explained it had been a partial molar and all this time I had been walking around, assuming I was fine and trying for another baby which I shouldn’t of been doing! Thankfully an emergency blood test showed I was all ok and they had got it all. To say it messed me up would be an understatement. When I got pregnant again my husband and I were petrified. Thankfully he got to attend the early scan and the 12 week scan with me. 20 weeks scan had to attend on my own. I can’t even explain how scared I was. The sonographer was so understanding and asked me if I’d prefer her to chat through it or be quiet. I said chat and she was absolutely incredible at every stage, reassuring me my baby was healthy. She was only meant to give me one photo and gave me six haha.
I was classed as high risk and was induced but labour went very well. Quick and straight forward thankfully and now have my little bubs, who is four months old.
The pandemic on top has took its toll on my mental health. I feel anxious all the time lately. My husband is at work constantly as he was off all over summer lockdown and they have their own construction business so they are having to make up for it. I feel lonely and my mat leave has been wasted.