Living with an ex

[Viewer1901]

Okay - here goes nothing.

I’m 95% sure my other half and I are done. Like I feel nothing anymore and I’m not even overly upset about it. Call me heartless if you must I’m just done.

The issue is that she moved from a large city to live with me in my house. Can’t leave work until august and can’t commute from any family / friends houses so we’re going to have to stick it out together until then.

Does anyone have any tips? its just awkward at the moment and I don’t know what to do.

 

[cheapwetham]

Does she know that you're done? It's kind of hard to tell from your post whether you are officially over or it's just how you feel right now.

I lived with my ex husband for 5 months after we split up. It sucked at first, then we kind of reached a weird balance of just being ok. Then when he finally moved out it went downhill again - to be honest, you just kind of suck it up after the initial weirdness and just get on with it. Set some boundaries, make sure you have your own spaces, and communicate as best you can.

 

[Viewer1901]

Does she know that you're done? It's kind of hard to tell from your post whether you are officially over or it's just how you feel right now.

I lived with my ex husband for 5 months after we split up. It sucked at first, then we kind of reached a weird balance of just being ok. Then when he finally moved out it went downhill again - to be honest, you just kind of suck it up after the initial weirdness and just get on with it. Set some boundaries, make sure you have your own spaces, and communicate as best you can.

yeah she knows - it’s still all very raw but we’re looking through plans and options etc etc!

thanks for the reply!

 

[Kim Mild]

I think when a couple live together, it does take time to physically find somewhere else to live etc . My ex took ages to move out when we split( I think he was an 'unflusable').

You have my sympathy. It's a horrible situation to be in .

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Okay - here goes nothing.

I’m 95% sure my other half and I are done. Like I feel nothing anymore and I’m not even overly upset about it. Call me heartless if you must I’m just done.

The issue is that she moved from a large city to live with me in my house. Can’t leave work until august and can’t commute from any family / friends houses so we’re going to have to stick it out together until then.

Does anyone have any tips? its just awkward at the moment and I don’t know what to do.

can she not move out and look for her own place to live?

Can you be physically separate within the house - I.e can you sleep in separate bedrooms? Can you work it out so that you both have space so that for example you aren’t in each others way trying to use the bathroom in the morning or whatever? How are things between the two of you, are you civil and able to still talk or is it awkward and frosty?

first off id make sure there’s an end date in mind for her to move out, make it clear that you expect her to have moved out by a specific date and stick to it -she’s an adult and her living arrangements are up to her to figure out, so don’t let it drag on and on.
Are you financially tied to her? Do you have joint bank accounts etc? If so, get these shut down ASAP. Start to separate any of your possessions and make arrangements to pay her for anything you may want to keep after she leaves and vice versa. Does she pay her share of bills/food shopping etc? You’ll need to figure out between you how that’s going to work now - again, make a plan and stick to it.
I’d say that you should also make it clear that it’s your house so you don’t want her bringing anyone else back or anything like that.

Other than that, I guess just try to stay out of each others way? It’s your house so I’d say it’s her that needs to think more about that than you?

 

[rebremm99]

My ex moved to my country to live with me, and when I broke up with him he refused to leave for another 3 months. Honestly it was hell, the sight of him annoyed me so much that I ended up moving out and back in with my parents for the last of it, even though it was my house. If you can’t live separately in the house I’d recommend one of you temporarily moving out.

 

[Monkeybum]

I lived with my ex for a year after we split up whilst we sorted the house out. I moved into the spare room, and we barely saw each other as we're both working. It kind of worked but I felt that year wasn't really living as always felt like I had to explain myself to him and couldn't meet anyone else

 

[alwayslurkin]

I had to live with my ex and he would keep coming into my room, crying about some message I sent him months ago and "what changed"

Emotionally draining doesn't come close, but it does end. Just focus on that end date