Lisa My_solo_journey_to_Mom #11 50 Shades of Pancakes

[#obsssessed]

I’m shook lads I had a Lisa solo mom parking incident today!! When I returned to my car someone had parked behind me so close I couldn’t open my boot to put in the buggy!! I didn’t know what to do!! So I opened my sunroof and just fucked my baby in and she landed right in the car seat then I tied the buggy to my roof rack and off I sped while shooting daggers at the driver behind me still sitting in his car!!

 

[brandambassador]

Well I think ye are a bit harsh. I’ve followed Lisa’s advice & Ive done great. My 2 year old has put on 3 stone over the summer, I’m banned from Tesco & Aldi car parks & my house is filthy.

 

[submarinedream]

Lisa always wants to be centre of attention and special Lisa. First it was her fertility journey alone, then solo mom to twins. It soon turned out nobody really cared all that much and she’s just a regular single mum with 2 kids. Now she’s doing this sleep shit thinking she’ll be super special Lisa the sleep whisperer.

also I don’t have twins so maybe I’m wrong but it feels a bit cruel to separate twins at that age for a nights sleep. It’s not like they’ve been up every night for months on end.

I’d nearly make a burner account and say my names pippa and I’m looking sleep training advice on how to get my 34 year old to drop her morning nap.

 

[Darkside]

Rub of the skirting for the smokey eye

 

[Folklikeme]

Lisa : And then when your tired yourself go back to bed with them for a nap.

Client: but Lisa I can't, I've other kids, I have a house to clean, food to prepare washing to do. Bills to pay. Shopping to. I need to shower

Lisa: well , sure what works for wan might not work for the next wan.

 

[CheesyMarmite]

The girls had rusks last week....she shared that on stories.
Fecking liar!

Also.....sliced meats are processed Lisa! Unless you have killed, cooked and sliced the animal yourself, then it will have been processed in a factory with added salts and water....soz to burst your bubble haha

Edit - babybels are processed you bloody knob!

 

[zuricruise]

Long time lurker first time poster. Anyone else find it hilarious she is lecturing parents on portion control and kids being full, when she is the size of a house. I’d be mortified talking about feeding my kids healthy this and that, shaming people who buy packet veggie sticks when watermelon is just as easy and looking like that slob. How does she not address the fact her life style is that of a couch potato chicken wrap eating slob all while lecturing parents on kids eating and sleeping! Omg she drives me nuts

 

[Icannot]

I've unfollowed. Can't cope with looking at her anymore, and her trying to jusifty her shite. On the beg now tagging Neil and redfm

Like an instahun, she will say “I was saying to de mudder it’s just wan of de tings that’s just not spoken about enough Neil. If I can only help wan person get their twineses , wan by wan into the car … “

 

[davo2001]

The whole fakeness and "oh I better make sure the camera angle is right for this" really pisses me off.

 

[shesnotalltherexoxo]

The only reason she's so upset about the parking is because she's the size of a small bungalow and she can't fit.


Would do her no harm to park further away and walk a bit.

I've 2 under 2.5 and pregnant with twins... I park as far away as I can. No one parks near me, plenty of space with buggies/trolleys, little traffic and no pressure on my huge arse to get in and out.


If she had an ounce of cop on at all

I've no sympathy for the slobby mess though. She really seems like a horrible creature.

 

[LoveTheGossIre]

She’s a horrible bitch tho to broadcast her parents house to all and sundry, my own family home is old and run down and manky in parts but no way I’d be living there like an overgrown teenager letting my baby crawl round the dirt and secondly no way I’d show the entire internet the worst parts of the home. We can all pretend to be immaculate home owners on here but I’m quite sure we don’t all live in new build show homes, my parents certainly don’t. I dunno how her brother and sister let this all be broadcast

 

[brandambassador]

Why is everyone posting here today? Are ye not down for your morning mom nap? My 2 year old doesn’t nap anymore but I go for 3 hours each morning from 10-1 and he fends for himself. I mean we have a microwave and airfryer so he’s well set up x

 

[miss_americana]

She’s made me livid today with her fucking high and mighty no processed snacks and oh you don’t need to take a pouch with you attitude. My baby has baby snacks and yes sometimes we order her stuff from the kids menu or she shares mine but she also has pouches for convenience and as getting one of those is often cheaper than a kids meal. We went to a Lebanese restaurant on Sunday and she had a pouch as everything would have been too salty for her anyway. She needs to stop preaching like she’s some kind of parenting guru. I won’t let her make me feel crap but some mums would see this and would do.
Long live Kiddlicious and Ella’s kitchen and pouches. I’d prefer them than giving my baby a beef burger

 

[Darkside]

She needs a ride

 

[Gooseyloo]

How bad are those baby crisps?? The carrot and tomato puffs? I feel like I give my LG (9mnths) an awful lot! Now she'd only have 2-4 pieces at a time but should they be like a once a week thing?? She gets plenty of fruit and veg so I figure I've wiggle room when it comes to those crisps

They're fine. You do not need to be doubting yourself cos of something Lisa the parenting oracle has said. They're better than processed deli meats and cheese.

 

[Lilll88]

Yup lisa I woke up tired today after two 12 hour shifts the previous day and now facing two 12 hour night shifts and up since 6 am this morning with my little boy. My husband left for work at 5.45 this morning I will meet him this eve @work to pass our baby over to him,do my night shift , meet him again in morning to bring baby home stay up until 10 am when my mum can take him and get some sleep before I'm back in at 7pm again. So if you're looking here for sympathy because you're tired you certainly won't get it from insta. Lazy slob come back to us when you're living in the real world

 

[wineandcrackers]

These girls will detest pancakes when they’re older, Pancake Tuesday will give them ptsd

 

[Kodi]

New thread title suggestion : Nap routine followed to a T, don't kiss the babies, they might get RSV.

 

[girl1980]

Thread #12 suggestion: Weaning expert and sleep guru or just a lazy, work-shy mum of two?

 

[GossPots]

I don’t give my kids anything processed…..
Processed flatbreads, processed sauce, also full of salt. Fuck them a wispa and be done with it