Cindy Livestream Recap #2
I tried to not repeat anything that was posted in the last recap. I also focused on important stuff instead of the mundane crap.
0:00 - 1:00:00
- Cindy is feeling good today. Within reason. You can only feel so good when your marriage ended less than a week ago.
- Cindy will never get a roommate. She can't live with other people.
- Carvana is still working on registration.
- Cindy is going to open a PO Box tomorrow and she is going to meet a new friend for coffee.
- Cindy does not have an Amazon Wishlist but might make one when she gets her PO Box.
- Cindy thinks mushrooms are therapeutic for her. Psychedelics changed her life.
- Cindy and her friend B are completely platonic life partners. B is married. Cindy isn't really friends with the wife. They just don't hang out together. Cindy doesn't care what people think about that. B is non-negotiable. If any guy she dates can't handle her being friends with B, we can't do it.
- Most of Cindy's income comes from her Life Plus Cindy channel and her Sims website. She has a bunch of various other small things she makes income from like other websites and she used to be a freelance writer and gets some residual income from that. Not very much. Still makes a bit off Sims channel.
- Will she stream on Twitch again? Twitch is more video game focused. Cindy is trying to build something non gaming on Youtube. It's a possibility. She isn't saying she'll never do the Sims again but it would be hard to play a game that is based around marriages and families when she is going what she is going through. She has to heal a little bit before she plays The Sims again. She does want to play it again.
- She wants to play both Paralives and Life By You and will play both of them on her Sims channel.
- There may be a vlog tomorrow. After stream she wants to film. If not Monday, then Tuesday.
- Her family does not live in the same county as her, but surrounding it.
- Her sister might be in the vlogs in the future. Cindy hasn't gone to see her yet. Sister is going through some shit right now.
- Cindy has not talked to Andrew today. She does not plan to talk to Andrew today.
- She misses Gibbons. Yesterday they got a very strongly worded text from the landlord because someone in their building has more than 2 pets. If you have any more pets than that, you can be evicted. They are serious! Cindy doesn't dare try to bring him here because she can't afford to lose her place. But she did find out that he is doing well in his home with his little kitty cat friends. She feels good about that but misses him. No apartments in her area allow 3 pets. He's happy, he's safe and he's good. Sometimes she has to do what she has to do in her life.
- Cindy wasn't ready to get help for her BPD the first time. She went to a therapist once and she wasn't ready. She knew something was wrong with her but you have to really want to change. She wasn't ready the first time. She thought she could handle it on her own. She thought she could figure it out on her own, treat herself and whatever the hell her fucked up mind thinks. She learned that that was not true. She could not do it herself. If you have BPD or any personality disorder, you can delude yourself into thinking you have it under control but you don't. You can completely recover from having BPD and she is going to recover. BPD usually gets better with age but Cindy's got worse, which was probably because of the relationship she was in.
- She isn't desperate to talk to Andrew anymore. She feels good about that. She feels like she is doing much better handling things like that. Much better at handling her emotions. She's learned so much new in therapy. She feels like she is so emotionally stunted, like an 18 year old just starting out.
- Cindy hopes she is helping people by sharing her story. Just because you have BPD doesn't mean you are monster or that you can not have a normal life. Also what it is truly like to end a 15 year marriage.
- She would tell her 20 year old self to get therapy now and if she saw Andrew to run the other way.
- Cindy told audience to stop spamming questions. Either she didn't see it or didn't want to answer it.
- Cindy doesn't know if she wants to have a baby on her own. She would use a surrogate but it is incredibly expensive. It's like $50,000 dollars and she could never afford that. Unless she found a really rich musician to be her next partner.
1:00:00 to 2:00:00
- Cindy would never ask her Sister to have a baby for her because she's already had six babies.
- Buying a house right now is out of the question. She is just going to continue renting. She doesn't want to maintain a house by herself so she is going to stay in this apartment until she dies. [laugh]
- She talked to Andrew yesterday, again. She is not interested in taking him back in her life. She can't see a way forward.
- Dating Cindy deal breakers, childfree, doesn't like to date guys with kids, she doesn't want all that drama. Finding one without kids is really difficult. She doesn't care about money. Wants some sort of stability in life and that they share common interests. Open mind toward music. Not be a lying cheating POS. If there were guys her age with grown children, she'd consider it. Cindy does not want to be a step mother, ex drama. But you never know.
- Cindy says "man this chat, Jesus Christ." She has so many supporters and loves them so much.
- Cindy knows that she is a terrible liar.
- Storytime of first marriage? Maybe she'll do it soon. Rollercoaster of pain and misery and disfunction.
- Has thought about doing a podcast but doesn't know what it would be about. Before this happened she was trying to get Andrew to do a podcast with her because he is witty and funny. Maybe B?
- Cindy's purpose is to get as much happiness out of her life before she dies. That's all she knows.
2:00:00 to 3:00:00
- Andrew and Cindy spent the night on their first date. She doesn't regret it but she won't do it again. It's going to take a long time to get to that point again.
- Everything in her life has a memory of him and she hates it. She won't keep his last name when they divorce. She's never changing it again, for anyone. Cindy will probably have to file for divorce because he won't do it.
- She is out of soap, hair rinse, dish soap and kitchen cleaner. She'll be making those things in a vlog in the coming days.
- She wants to buy some flowers for the house. She bought a new house plant.
- She has a Nintendo Switch and a Playstation and doesn't really play them.
- Doesn't want to talk about her diet. Go look it up for yourself.
Hopefully she’ll come to realize that being on her own is actually a good thing right now.
