Learning to drive.

[under the ivy]

Fab to hear @loobyscoobydoo Make sure you download the DVSA theory test app as that really helped me. Don’t be scared of national speed limit roads! It’s good your instructor is letting you tackle them so soon on your lessons!

———

I’m just back from a lesson. 6 weeks until my test! Feeling quietly confident as I dealt with some d*ckheads on the road today and I managed to keep in control of the car and safe to other road users e.g someone decided to switch lanes without signalling so had to break harsh and drop back. My instructor said that’s what the examiner looks for so I feel happy.

Hope everyone is doing OK x

 

[Thank(space)you]

My lesson today went so well today. My instructor didn't have any comments to make

 

[Dramabyname]

Thank you all so much for your positive advice. Just finished my lesson now and I feel so good! We spent the majority of the time on a small car park and ended up on a quiet road getting into 2nd gear and pulling up. It seems crazy the amount of things you need to be doing but I know it will all come in time.
Worryingly she doesn’t know if a test date will become available this year as she said a lot of larger companies which offer intensive courses are block booking them as soon as the times become available making it harder for those doing weekly lessons but I’m sure as more restrictions are lifted the more tests will become available.

 

[loobyscoobydoo]

So my first lesson back after 2+ years went really well! I even drove myself home at the end. I just did a loop repeatedly around the local University and a main road, so a few roundabouts here and there. I really enjoyed it actually and my new instructor seems really patient and reassuring. No major issues just need to get used to doing all the mirror checking smooth gear changing keeping in lane and gathering speed more quickly etc, all stuff that comes with time. Next week we'll be going on some national speed limit roads, the grandma in me is terrified really pleased with my instructor, he did a full debrief at the end of my lesson and talked me through what I need to work on and what the next lesson will look like. I felt really good about things afterwards too, with my old instructor I always felt a bit upset and anxious after my lessons.

I've rebooked my theory test for mid October. There's about an 18 week delay for practical tests where I am, so as soon as theory is done I'll book a practical test.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I've had about 12 double lessons, passed my theory well but I hate my lessons I get so anxious, can't sleep etc etc... My instructor is ex army and if I make a mistake, not even a dangerous one, she will say 'WHY did you do that?' in a real attitude and the lesson doesn't carry on until I provide a suitable answer - sometimes I don't know why .
The whole experience is feeling a bit soul destroying and being close to the age of 40, mum of 2 and recently also redundant I could do with not feeling like I do... I don't know if I should switch to automatic or even instructor or just ride it out

Definitely get rid of the instructor! You’re paying them for a service, you shouldn’t be treated that way. I ditched my first instructor because of his attitude and my next instructor was really nice and it helped me massively. The more on edge you feel the more you will make mistakes. Change the instructor!

 

[FishCustard]

I was all ready for my test tomorrow and they’ve gone and cancelled it. Giving me the closest date of the 3/12. Absolutely gutted.

 

[judsmum]

Oh I feel for you so much! It took me years to pass my test- had about ten instructors! In fact one I had, one lesson we never even got off the driveway! Iv had all sorts. And Iv always hated driving! I could never seem to get my head around it. Iv been passed about 6 years now, but I was 29 I think when I passed. I used to dread my lessons, I used to panic the night before and I would try and think of excuses to make. I would get all sweaty when I was actually learning and I never even felt comfy. I remember the day I passed my test, I think my mum gave me some sort of sleeping tablet to relax me!! I mean who does that!???but I was in such a state, however it worked! I did pass! Ever since I can’t say my love of driving has increased, because it hasn’t. Iv accepted I will never enjoy driving, but i do enjoy the freedom it gives me. To not have to ask people to take me places is amazing. One bit of advice though is you don’t have to drive anywhere that makes you uncomfy. Even now I will always take the route that I find easier, even if it takes me longer. And don’t let other drivers bully you into going faster etc. I also hate parking! And I try and get what I call ‘drive throughs’ Spaces where I can pull forward basically! So I don’t have to reverse out! Oh I’m terrible when I write it down, but I’m also proud. Because learning to drive was a chain around my neck for years! No one thought I would pass, and people used to tease me with how long it took! But I did it! You will get there, I really do sympathise with you. When you pass, you will find it so freeing and you say you will just go to work and back but I’m sure you will slowly find abit more confidence to go here and there. Just take your time and do what feels ok to you! But I’m in your club and I hear every word you say! Good luck!!!! Xx

you know what, thank you for this. It’s so nice to hear this from someone who isn’t trying to belittle me! I am getting sick to death of people around me dismissing my anxiety as though it is nothing. I get heart palpitations, sweats, I feel as though I can’t breathe properly and it absorbs my every thought. I don’t care if this sounds dramatic because it’s how I feel. All anyone says is ‘just think how much easier thy bigs will be when you pass’..... Yeah, I’m aware of that love or else I wouldn’t be putting myself through it I don’t want to pass on Thursday so I can drive in my own, I want to pass on Thursday so I don’t have to do it again. I feel sick and I really don’t know what to do to make myself feel better.

 

[Lalla]

Also, I would recommend booking an early morning test as the roads will be quieter than middle of the day.

It definitely depends where you live - round here the roads are bedlam until about 9.30 with all the commuters and parents doing school runs...and again from 2.30-3.30, and 4pm onwards. I found the quietest times was 11-12ish, had all my tests around that time.

Have just remembered what happened many years ago to a girl I knew - her test was first thing, about 9am. She drove out of the test centre, onto the main road and straight into a huge traffic jam. Water main had burst or something like that and traffic was gridlocked. This was in the days when tests were about 25 mins long. Basically they sat in almost stationary traffic for 20 mins, finally got to the nearest side road (still within sight of the test centre), he got her to turn down it, do a 3 point turn, back up to the junction, and then back to the test centre! She pased - and after that we all prayed for traffic jams on the day of our tests

 

[jawidjanqndn]

Lesson 3 and I have just gone to town and drove back on a scary main road at 60! So proud of myself with how well I’m picking it up. Im such an anxious person so I was honestly expecting to quit after the first lesson

 

[LadyB65]

Please tell me it’s normal to have a shit lesson a week before your test right at the start of my lesson today I was approaching the roundabouts far too fast I dunno what was going on lol. Then my manoeuvres weren’t as good as normal so now I’m dreading my test next week it’s really put me on a downer even though it shouldnt

As others have said, do not let this get you down at all. I was out of control on the lesson the hour before my test, I just fell apart. Me and my driving instructor had a break and a good chat, and I managed to calm myself down and passed my test with 3 minor errors. I only passed a month ago, and I love driving now, but I used to dread my lessons and try and think of every excuse not to go. I was a very nervous driver, i over thought everything. My driving instructor used to say that my driving was perfect when we were on the way back to my house and I knew where I was going without him giving me instructions, but as soon as he gave me an instruction I would crumble and do things in the wrong order, or try and do things too fast and mess them up. On my test, I probably sounded like a right weirdo but as soon as I got an instruction, I would repeat it and then talk myself through it, sometimes in my head and sometimes out loud.

To anyone else who is struggling with particular things, tell your instructor and ask for a lesson solely dedicated to that, I used to panic at roundabouts, so we spent a whole lesson doing roundabouts and how best to approach them. I also hated bay parking, weirdly driving forward into a space did not come easily to me, so we spent a whole lesson on that.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to find an instructor who understands you and how to deal with your problem areas, my previous instructor wasn’t so helpful, and used to make me feel a bit stupid for not ‘getting it’ - I took 2 tests 6 years ago and failed both, and i thought it had put me off driving for life. So I was really surprised when I started lessons in December 2019 and I could still drive, and really just needed to brush up on skills and combat the areas I had problems in. Covid meant many delays, but eventually I got a test and passed.

Sorry for the essay, but the last thing I’ll say is don’t give up, I honestly can’t believe how much more freedom I have, even just nipping to the shops by myself if my other half is out is amazing. You just need to find the way of learning that works for you, as it’s different for everyone! Happy driving guys, I know you can all pass if I can!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I have three lessons next week before my test and my sister has taken me out twice. Still don’t even feel in the ball park of prepared.

If I don’t pass this time my theory expires- should I sell my car and give up or hope I can renew my theory at some point?

Don’t give up!!!!!!

stop viewing the test as “the test” - it’s just another trip out in the car. You’ve done it before. You can drive that car, you can follow instructions and you can follow the road signs when required. Take your time, breathe, do your manoeuvres when asked - you’ve done them all before, you know how to do them.
Just dial it all down a notch. It’s not the end of the world ok? I promise.
I stalled the car twice on my test - twice and in the middle of a roundabout- I wanted to cry/get out of the car! But I didn’t- I sat for a second, then got the car going again and carried on. I was told to watch my speed twice as I was speeding..... I thought I’d completely fucked it, thought I’d failed but no I had passed and he said to me the reason I passed was that when I stalled the car, I didn’t loose control- I did what you do to correct it and got on with it.
just drive the car - that’s all. Don’t put any other pressure on yourself. If you pass that’s awesome but if you don’t pass, the world will still turn, just book another test!!!!

 

[Thank(space)you]

My driving test is coming up and I'm actually really excited

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I genuinely just don't know when to steer or when I do it's too late according to my driving instructor. He also takes over a lot so I don't have time to think but he said I need to think quicker. :/ I was driving in the middle of the road a few times last week and about to go into a parked car at one point because I genuinely just can't tell when to steer so I understand where he is coming from. I didn't realise how often you have to steer either and that it is small, gentle steers the majority of the time. I must come across as so stupid!

Right - when you get in the car today, before you start the car - tell your instructor that you are really struggling with steering and ask that you spend today’s lesson just focusing on that, ask if he can take you somewhere like an empty car park or somewhere you can practise moving the car around to get you used to how the car responds to you moving the wheel. It probably also that your not used to the dimensions of the car so your not aware where the car body is in relation to the road or what’s on the road, but again this is something that takes practice and you’ll need to ask your instructor to let you practice this if your not sure.

I agree. I didn’t start having lessons until I was 22, because up until that point, I was terrified of even being a passenger in a car and I was always adamant I didn’t want to drive.

I had around six months worth of lessons with my first instructor and I had to stop, my anxiety wasn’t getting any better and while my driving was okay, I didn’t feel like my confidence was making any progress.

I found a new instructor pretty soon after and had lessons for nearly another year and I still struggled with confidence, but I got better.

I had my first driving test a year and a half after I first started lessons and I failed my test because the examiner took me on a slip road and I hadn’t done slip roads in any of my lessons…. I kind of felt cheated as the examiner actually said I was a brilliant driver and he was sad to fail me…

Fast forward to a month later, I took my second test and passed. When I first bought my car, the confidence didn’t come straight away and I had to drive with my partner in the passenger seat the first few times, but that was almost two years ago now and I’m confident and enjoying driving now.

it will happen, believe in yourselves!

Agree with all of this.

driving is a skill that takes time to learn, and actually you only really start learning to drive after you’ve passed the test and are out on your own in your own car. I think it’s just getting hours down driving as much as you can, I never had a car or my own or access to another car to learn in ontop of my lessons but i think that would have helped

 

[HoGi]

I laugh at people who insist manual is the best. They clearly have not been in these auto cars lately!

100% this.

When they say they like to be in control or autos aren't as fun to drive, I just roll my eyes. We are driving the streets of Essex not at Le Mans

 

[Belulah]

I’ve just had my final lesson before my test!
@kenbarlow You will get there! I bet your mum doesn’t think it went nearly as badly as you do!

 

[nightfeedz]

My test is first thing tomorrow. I am trying so hard to be positive and breathe! I want to pass so much. Hope everyone else is getting on well with lessons and tests.

 

[Everybody]

There are quite a few of us on here who learnt auto.

Don't let anyone tell you it isn't proper driving or is a bad choice. Once you pass you will have sooooo much more freedom than not driving. And so what you have to buy an auto? When the ban on new petrol/diesel cars is introduced and every new car will be electric they will all be auto

I know a lot of people who can drive manuals but only drive auto. My husband said he will never buy another manual.

You do what is best for you

Eta typos

Thanks everyone!! I’m going to continue with automatic. I’ve adhd and dyspraxia so I need to literally dedicate eveyrhing to having my eyes on the road!!! I tried to do manual once and literally cried because my coordination is awful. I had really bad panic attacks and this was 3 years ago now. Unfortunately it took a lot of confidence from me. I live in a city so it’s not essential - but I need to for my own sake, as will move eventually.

people saying it’s a bad choice- they all live in the countryside. I live in the middle of a city filled with angry people!!

I booked my theory test for first week in December as well.Thanks for the encouragement

 

[Belulah]

Just waiting for my lesson… my hair is in a ponytail so I hope my instructor sees me check my mirrors!

Did it work?

I’m very proud of myself drove from Norfolk to Kent and back again. Conquered the M25 and Dartford tunnel! First time driving on a motorway- and I only had my two year old for company!

 

[under the ivy]

Got my first automatic lesson today, nervous

I know I can drive, I’ve driven a manual car before and overtook a bus on one of my lessons. I’m with a new instructor so I just hope everything goes well!

 

[under the ivy]

My theory has been cancelled and my lessons have been cancelled too.
I’m going to change instructors though - not told anyone this but he’s made a few sexual comments which I brushed aside but it was affecting my learning. He was asking if I was single, said I was attractive (how can he tell when I’m wearing a mask) and I once said ‘what are we going to do today’ and he went ‘there’s lots of things I’d like to do with you’ . Decided to look for a female instructor and resume in the new year. So annoying!