Lauren Goodger #68 A thread title now is not fun, let's leave her to sell the drama to The Sun

[Notredamn]

We can see the evidence of domestic violence and there is no minimising to be done. That’s my opinion and it won’t change. I rip the piss out of Lauren something chronic but I’m not having the mental gymnastics of some to excuse the fucking state of her eye.
Maybe the domestic abuse went two ways, but from what we can SEE is that at a minimum, it has gone one way. Whatever the circumstances are, whatever role she has or has not played, we can see violence written on her face. It’s unacceptable.

 

[Pom Bear]

A bald eagle is on the look out - someone has stolen his wings

POM do the honours if you will … please

Loooool just made xx

 

[smellyfootballboots]

Twice the fat fuck it once was. Looks as though Lauren Goodger is turning in to Lauren Goodyear, with more spare tyres than Quick Fix. Bet the tubby fat fucker has a Dunkin Donuts platinum card. Probably the black eye is from running in to the donut shop door.

This is really off. What is she, 5 weeks out from having given birth? I hope if you've ever had children you was back in your size 4's within days? Most of us aren't.

 

[TheDarkling]

I’d hazard a guess and say that I’m probably the same size as Loz, although I’m more 5’1, certainly not as statuesque at BYG’s 5’7 ().
Yer my diet during Covid went to shit, eat out to help out? No way, Eating in and fuck being thin was my motto. So as you could imagine after 24 months of being a faithful patron of Uber Eats and Deliveroo, I was feeling a bit sad for myself and wearing very baggy clothes akin to Homer Simpson’s MuMu.

Change started to happ when some of my friends wanted to do an Abba night, and go as a dressed up 4some, all colour matching with matching wigs. They did not live by my motto of “fuck being thin” during lockdown, and actually had the audacity to lose weight over the course of lockdown, so all three of them looking bloody gorgeous, with me, Mrs Penguin in the back. But what really took the piss was when they were deciding on outfits, and handed me a pair of white lycra ‘near on’ transparent flares and a similarly white transparent fluted sleeve top… I protested, said I’ll pick something else out, but no, they wanted us all to look the same… So I tried it on, breaking into a sweat getting the nylon nightmare material over my thighs, bum and hips and over my belly… came out of the changing room, faced them first…

And I could see 4 faces staring back at me in sheer horror. 3 of my friends, and one poor unsuspecting woman who had unfortunately wondered in to the changing room at the time of the great reveal.

Clocking myself in the mirror. I saw my worse nightmare. Not only were my nips on show to all and sundry, the white material really not dulling the colour of my areola’s, but my minge well and truly gobbling up the material that had been yanked so far deep into it I’m sure I could taste the material at the back of my throat. Capturing my side view, I caught glimpse of what can only be described as a sideway white tictac. I dashed back into the changing room, attempted to pull the material off me, only to find that my ass was also hungry and refusing to let go over the material.

we did not go as a 4some to ABBA night…

So how our BYG has managed to leave the house in her white get up really flummox’s me. She can’t be comfortable in it, or as others have said, maybe she does have dysmorphia

 

[gloriouscheesecake]

Twice the fat fuck it once was. Looks as though Lauren Goodger is turning in to Lauren Goodyear, with more spare tyres than Quick Fix. Bet the tubby fat fucker has a Dunkin Donuts platinum card. Probably the black eye is from running in to the donut shop door.

This is a bit much

 

[MrsEms]

Fuckin hell, I have someone I really hate, I mean really despise. Though if they ever have the kind of shit loz is having now I wouldn't be able to be so horrid. Call me a pearl clutcher any day, it's better than being an arsehole

 

[Clickbait]

Just as we thought things couldn’t really get much worse for BYG a story appeared in The Sun (on 5 August) that stated she had been taken to hospital (by a friend) in the early hours of Thursday morning with serious facial injuries allegedly caused by Chaz, who was arrested, questioned, and released on bail on Friday morning.

Lauren Goodger in hospital after 'attack' by boyfriend Charles Drury

EX-Towie star Lauren Goodger’s boyfriend was arrested for allegedly assaulting her after their baby’s funeral. Lauren, 35, was taken to hospital with serious facial injuries at around 1am on Thursd…

www.thesun.co.uk

There was, as usual, some confusion created from this story and the reporting in other publications:
• Why would ‘a source’ need to add in “Lauren did not drink after the funeral and was trying her best to hold it together”?
• Would she have been expected to return the next day for x-rays of the damage?
• Why was the claim she had a shattered eye socket removed from the article?
• Who on earth would describe 18 stone 8 pounds Chaz as a “muscular fitness fanatic”?!
• Was Loz also bailed after the incident? Suggested in: https://uk.news.yahoo.com/towie-star-lauren-goodger-partner-034539066.html

A formal statement was made by the Metropolitan Police:
“Police were called at 00.37 on Thursday, August 4, to reports of an altercation at a residential address in Upminster, Essex.

Officers attended.“At the scene a woman, aged 30s, was found with facial injuries. A man, aged 25, was arrested on suspicion of assault.

He was taken to an East London police station and subsequently bailed pending further inquiries. Inquiries continue.”

This is the only factual, credited and non-emotive information we have so far.

BYG was laying low and no comment has been made on IG by either party. We have had some comments via sources relating to how Loz is feeling, and her friend Lauryn Goodman who claimed she was “unrecognisable” in images she had shared with her:

Lauren Goodger is 'unrecognisable' after 'attack'

Lauren Goodger is 'unrecognisable' following an alleged attack which led to the arrest of her boyfriend Charles Drury on their day of their baby's funeral.

www.dailymail.co.uk

The Sun again got the exclusive of a staged pap walk with Lauren showing off a black eye:

Lauren Goodger reveals black eye & bruised face after boyfriend's arrest

LAUREN Goodger was yesterday seen in public for the first time since she was allegedly attacked after her baby’s funeral. The Towie star, 35, was spotted with a serious black eye — more than a week…

www.thesun.co.uk

We await more concrete facts - will Chaz be charged, will that decision trigger a formal statement by either side, will we find out exactly what happened?

If you are new to the Lauren Goodger threads you may find a quick scroll through the Wiki helpful if you don’t understand the terminology used by regular posters.

 

[Notredamn]

I don't know the facts.

For example - what if she swung at him, he turned to avoid her and she ran in to his elbow or shoulder? Same bruise. That's attempted violence but from loz.

What if she was cuddling laorse, who was playing, swung her head back and clipped loz in the face? Same bruise. Complete accident.

Or of course Charlie could be entirely to blame.
Or both of them.

I'm just trying to say there are so many variables.

Yes, as PP has just pointed out, you get the odd psycho woman but these are statistically very low, thank fuck!
This is no accident such as walked into a door/tripped into an elbow/dog tripped her up/Larose twatted her by mistake. The police were called. They had reason to make an arrest. Due process dictates the police can't do this without basis. I highly doubt Big Loz sat down and thought, ' hmmm my day's been a bit boring, I know, I'll spice it up by making up a lie, wasting police time and putting myself in jeopardy of prosecution, and do it all in the public eye when appearances mean everything to me haha what a laugh it will be!' .....she'd just buried her kid! I'm going with the most likely and logical school of thought on this one.

 

[Pom Bear]

Absolutely brilliant Pom I love your photos, cheers me right up

Thank you very much and that's lovely to hear how much they cheer you up Love Pom xx

Loz's eyebrows! x

I then realised the latest fashion now is to have marker pen eyebrows, the bigger the better....

So I got mine done ..

Looooooool

This has made my day after a crap time at work!

Glad to make you feel better Love Pom xx

 

[And_that's_okay!]

What the fuck are those eyebrows I can’t cope with the fucking state of her & that romper cutting her in half

She looks like Oswold Cobblepot in that outfit.

 

[lavendervase]

I can’t get over how well and happy she looks in those reels.
You can actually see she was genuinely in love with Jake so I’ve no doubt her grief is real and she’s still grieving her own child too.
She has absolutely ruined herself, she wanted the happily ever after so badly and look what she’s ended up with.
Lauren needs proper help, she has so many issues and just seems to be surrounded by enablers or men that physically and emotionally batter her. It’s awful. Poor Larose.

 

[Crowbag]

I wouldn't even say it fits lol

The crotch gathers are impressive.
Not camel toe, more a sort of camels meeting at a waterhole.

Oh, i think I'll squeeze myself into this white outfit that shows every dimple, lump and bump.
And for good measure I'd like the fabric to be all scrunch(ied)ed up all around the fanny area.
And ideally I'd like the outfit to be made from as many manmade fibres as possible so that I'll sweat. And I'd like it to cling rather than drape. And ride up my arse with every step.

 

[Clickbait]

Coming up to needing a new thread which is quite miraculous. My thread suggestion: Lauren Goodger #69 Time to put down your phone and walk away, instead take Larose to the park to play

 

[Rubez2812]

#66 Lozza’s ex Jakey is dead, she went to his funeral dressed as an unmade bed

 

[Lollyy]

I actually feel a little sorry for her she seems really sad in the latest pics and has really let herself go (expected after everything she has been through) but it’s sad she looks like half the person she was and I hope she gets the help she needs and her self esteem back

 

[TeddiK]

Appreciate everyone has quite rightly held back on Lauren after all she’s gone through recently but sorry - posting that video consisting on photos of her looking skinny with yet another ex who treated her like shit and cheated on her - with the soundtrack of “I’d give my all to have just one more night with you.” When they’d both moved on with multiple partners since and had children is very very weird and inappropriate to say the least.

 

[Jembelle]

I think she looks completely different to the picture in the paper the other day and she looks half that size today. Also about the outfit It looks like it’s creased because she was sitting. She also has just been beaten up by her partner. Regards her being a grief thief. The woman just lost her daughter a few weeks ago and then her ex and obviously his family thought enough of her to invite her to his funeral. How the woman is still standing I’ll never know.

 

[HeCannitSeeMan]

I mean this is the most neutral way possible I don’t mean to offend any “ethnicity” or whatever this is -
So report if you want, (I’m on a 2 bar of 3G coverage high right now- basically invincible ) I’m convinced Essex is mostly comprised of a settled but very deep core of traveller community. The morals and aspirations of this Essex faction are so similar, like education is minimal, the aspirational to gain a fortune from crime or stocks and to boast of that and even be caught, is a badge of honour to be worn with pride by the wife. But they’re not slappers- they either get shit on for tens of thousands by sheiks or are super picky from the latest line up of 5ft 10 d&g clad crims. It’s bizarre- they’ve all shared the same secretions in these circles if funeral goers and insta is to be believed

 

[Bubblepink]

Thread title suggestion :

Lauren Goodger #69 making jakes funeral about skinny old me whilst ch’arg charges fans 25p

 

[Pom Bear]

Some old pics from last year I thought I'd share again x