Laura Jane Williams #2 Say Please! And put your tongue away.

[majestic26]

God, I hate being that person defending someone on Tattle but I feel like people are making a lot of assumptions with probably 10% of the information. If an adoption agency has deemed Laura to be a fit parent (with rules as ridiculous as losing weight to become a candidate) then I think we should give the benefit of the doubt. She will have had to prove things like income and security, she's also got parents living close by who can offer support, she lives somewhere where the cost of living is likely quite low.

There are parents making do in far worse situations. There are kids out there with far more bleak outlooks. There are far worse things than a parent who's a bit pompous and had an annoying voice on Instagram stories.

Like I said, hate to be the one to defend someone on Tattle, and there's so much about Laura that winds me up, I think her career has grown far above the level of her talent, and I find her conceited and pretentious and a whole manner of irritating things. She's made big mistakes in the name of being creative on social, the horrendous outfit posts a prime example.

But adopting a kid (and not a fashionable baby but a fully-formed kid with baggage) you know what - fair play to her.

 

[Lanavalentine]

New thread for our favourite writer who changes her Instagram Bio more than her socks. Currently it declares she writes love stories for “cynics and dreamers”. Weird, I thought she wrote cheap rip-off romances that sell for 99p on Kindle?!

Laura is currently manically posting Instagram Stories about being a writer, after having one of her many quiet phases. She doesn’t share as heavily as she used to but still loves to poke her tongue out as much as possible on the internet.

No, she never adopted a child and seems unable to decide if she wants kids or not. Despite that, she is a parenting expert and heavily judges mothers who do not do what she expects.

Discuss away!
(Should we create a Wiki for her? I don’t want to lose the “seed” blog post, the BLM outfit post or anything of that nature!!)

Just to get us started, reposting the insane, infamous “give me your seed” blog post. Thanks @Milly Moo!

Laura Jane Williams's Blog - Fabio - September 11, 2017 00:23

I look at you sometimes, and I think: give me your seed. I look at you and I think, give me your seed. Plant yourself inside of me and grow and gro...

web.archive.org

 

[Bette Lunch]

 

[AfroCircus]

Something popped into my head today.

I remember a few years ago her writing a post about sitting by a pool and looking at mothers, imagining her ~future child~.

Which is fine. But it was along the lines of

'i imagine she is pregnant with him now. Or he is just being born. And he's out there waiting for me." And getting her usual tongue sticking out narcissistic self over it.

Yes, Laura. Don't worry about the incredible trauma both the mother and child are about to enter. The chaos that occurs in situations like that. The pain both will endure.

Just think of entitled self.

 

[majestic26]

WHHHHAAAATTTTT?! Guys I’m so confused by it all! I feel VERY sorry for the poor kid if she has managed to adopt - she clearly has some pretty intense mental health issues.

People with mental health issues can still be good parents, and as I've mentioned above, the child is likely to live a better life with Laura than in the care system waiting around to be adopted.

I find Laura very pretentious and cringe and a bit flighty, but I think adopting a child is a really honourable thing and we shouldn't knock it.

 

[Lanavalentine]

She’s doing it on purpose this is actually really funny. We all said she wasn’t adopting because she stopped talking about it, so now she’s subtly trying to prove the “haters” wrong. I take back any credit I gave her for keeping quiet - she’s not keeping quiet at all. Proving Tattle wrong is more important than her adopted child’s privacy!

I have a theory - what if she was originally turned down from adopting not just because of her weight, but because of her social media presence and sharing of every moment of her life?

She definitely very abruptly scrubbed her Instagram, and then took several long social media breaks. Changed her entire social media output in general. To me, it would make sense if she did all that to re-apply and was thus successful the second time around.

 

[Cloak]

Maybe she should buy a neck brace emblazoned with “I am a mother now”, that would solve two of her most burning problems



*to clarify, the problem is not her chin itself, it’s her running out of creative ways to hide it — her ish, not mine

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

So on her website it says that our stop has the tv rights bought & she’s a parent View attachment 1328398

‘Novels’ always makes me laugh. Embrace your status as an airport paperback, love.

 

[Kirstyy]

She’s back out of hibernation with a new bloody book to flog!

Can’t wait for the incessant promo that will now ensue

 

[Bette Lunch]

OK so I know this thread is as dead as her books, but I gotta laugh. She's begging for reviews because her book is tanking. No press picked it up. People won't touch her. Even her own publisher is burying her among their preferred authors and the one post they do reshare is from an anonymous "Reader review". And they're making her bring out a Christmas book. Dime a dozen.

 

[Milly Moo]

That’s one strange mother. Whether you adopt/foster/step-parent/have kids of your own, not many mothers I know are “writing” in hotel bars at 11.27 on a Saturday brunchtime, then drinking pina coladas with mates. On top of all her non-child friendly activities/self-indulgence/drinking/lying in bed eating in recent weeks. Quite troubling if she has become a mother like she says. She doesn’t seem able to stick at anything.

 

[Lanavalentine]

So much to unpack here. Money-making scam courses are back, oh christ. DON’T DO IT SHE’S A CON ARTIST (at least she’s not claiming they’ll get paid features out of it this time). The “cute” tea drinking faces are just… not cute. Bipolar accents again. Talking about herself in the third person. And there’s a lotttt of justification as to why she can’t hold down a relationship.

I was just coming to see if anyone else had commented!

She’s really defensive about not having a relationship. Of course it is a totally valid choice to not settle down and/or have kids, but everything Laura shares makes it clear she is trying to deflect the fact she hasn’t settled down with kids by now. She lacks any authenticity, especially because she always puts it across by sharing someone else’s words and claiming they resonated with her.

The eye fucking herself with a cup of tea is disturbing, and her eyebrows and facial expressions age her by about 20 years.

You can definitely see a pattern where if she gets a tiny bit of “success” by her own measure (sells a couple of courses, gets noticed by someone more successful etc) then she gets a bit manic on Instagram with the selfies. I think she thinks it’s a really good way of “connecting” with her followers (she IS an expert on social media engagement, after all!) but ultimately it just looks very narcissistic and bizarre, especially when she lays relatively low the rest of the time.

 

[AfroCircus]

Look what I found in my local charity shop.

Didn't this just come out?

20p for charity well spent. Will report back anything amusing.

 

[Lanavalentine]

It’s not even just the seed bit that gets me.

“We look good together” ok, narcissist.

“ethical non-monogamy” right so dating multiple men/sleeping around? Why does she have to make it sound more fancy and intellectual than it is?

The whole “I didn’t settle” narrative really annoys me because if her first boyfriend hadn’t cheated then they’d be married with kids now?!

 

[erahme]

The goodwill has run out for sure. The mags realised her books were lousy and the author pals realised she was a thief.

Style is so frumpy. I’m all about the plus size but she gives us big girls a bad name in those sacks/rollnecks/beige gilets. And the straw hat? So ten years ago and so lazy.

Industry insiders say this book is DREADFUL too and she can’t get to the end of her contract quick enough. And those stories of excited fans are lols (one is her publicist). With her following, I’d have expected better.

Her press is going from bad to worse. That’s why she’s pushing “all the interviews” on her stories like she’s doing a movie junket when actually they have very poor reach. Will be an interesting week watching her sweat. I predict cinnamon buns in bed by Wednesday…

Her publicist has been declining press unless they have a certain amount of reach and/or a certain type of following. As I was told by a book blogger who reached out to interview her and has a social reach of over a million across socials that they were declined.

 

[Lanavalentine]

Any reviews of the new book yet?

From what I’ve seen, she hasn’t had nearly as much of a publicity push on this one. I think all the goodwill from the mags she’s worked with and the literary types she’s “pals” with has fizzled out a bit.

Got to say, with her manic, close-up Stories I am reminded of her old Instagram Stories when she attempted to claim herself a skin care expert and was going on and on about looking so much younger than her age and that using a jade roller was the secret and that a plastic surgeon agreed etc…oh, to have that level of confidence in myself!

For the record I don’t think she looks awful, but I do think she looks older than she is, although that’s as much to do with the way she carries herself, her mannerisms and her frumpy, shapeless sack style (SORRY). I don’t want to sound like I’m critical of women looking and getting older, but Laura has always struck me as someone who appears older than their years (and not in a “full of wisdom” way). I think we’re actually the same age but I don’t relate to her or her style at all.

She really reminds me of the 40+, middle class mums I’ve seen outside the local private school, actually. They all wear shapeless linen sacks and straw hats, have weird loud voices and talk about themselves in the third person.

 

[Bette Lunch]

She adopted a boy like a year or two ago but her publisher says she all over the place and clearly KLinging on to being a mom and being a "novelist".

 

[username3000]

Just got a newsletter from her where she drops the news that she’s ‘a mother’ mid sentence before spending the whole email talking about the feminism of romance novels

 

[Bette Lunch]

Girl gotta tell us how to parent when she eats in bed all day, nips to London to catch up with friends (she has friends?!), eats real wanky kid-unfriendly dinners, then goes home to work all weekend #shitmomlife

 

[Lanavalentine]

More drinking, more justifying it and pretending not to, calling it just a “little drink”… I’m telling you, she’s on a very slippery slope. Wine seems to be her only friend.