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Have you told next door and has everyone closed their windows?

bit of a scary incident tonight, someone banging on the door :/
 
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Did he reply? Did you have dinner, I need to know!! X
 
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‘Hopefully mine realise they have a job to do soon cos atm they be chilling’

discussing pregnancy breasts with my pregnant bestie... hers are huge and I haven’t grown one cup size & I’m half way through
 
Lads.. I won. I found the the twirl orange, orange fingers, orange giant buttons AND orange dairy milk.. the tescos in [my area] is superior.

Group chat with my colleagues, we're obsessed with orange flavoured cadburys things lol
 
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Have you been rained off today or are you alright to go? Well jealous if you get to spend the day in bed
 
Bit embarrassed by this one but my last text was
“ see that cunt she wants to fucking start I’ll rip her fucking throat out , who the fuck does she thinks she is and I’ll have any cunt that wants to back her up too “
Started a new department today all she did was moan at me .. ever since she walked through the door . AND she has the audacity to phone the other department asking for my old manager for my working practices ... I’ve been in that job for MAAAAAAAANY years Don’t EVER question me
She doesn’t realise that people will tell me this stuff as she’s a bastard apparently but I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt until she did this within the first hour of my being there and someone told me she’d been on the phone

I was livid and if I didn’t have bills to pay I’d have walked
 
'I don't give a holy about the queues in screwfix and gregg's. Get back here and look after these twins so I can have a shower'
 
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Are you going to get time today? If not, let me know and I don't mind sorting it for you
 
‘I will put the potatoes in around 4.30ish’

Lads.. I won. I found the the twirl orange, orange fingers, orange giant buttons AND orange dairy milk.. the tescos in [my area] is superior.

Group chat with my colleagues, we're obsessed with orange flavoured cadburys things lol
My husband would love to be on this group chat. Orange Cadbury rocks!
 
"Has Shitty McShitface moved his shit yet?"

To my daughter who is at uni and has one housemate that left chicken out for 3 days to fester. The other housemates told him to clear it up in a group chat and he ignored them.
 
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That's because you've heard there's been three new Taylor Swift albums since you were last in my car isn't it? Yes that's fine xxx

This was to my dad who said he'll drive us when we go to football next week
 
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