All those online early tweets paint a very clear picture of a person that I'd thought for a long time Pallo was: A kid who has always been a 'wannabe.'
He wanted to be a star in school but he was too little, unathletic and not very academically gifted, to be kind. He tried to fit in but couldn't or was rejected by most of his peers, at least those he wanted to be like, the 'cool kids,' the jocks and the leaders in his school and area. They were people the community noticed and admired. He wasn't one of them. He was slight and somewhat frail, probably the butt of jokes and lots of barbs from those kids he wanted to be like. He was the center of attention at home, but outside of that bubble, he was a nobody. ___ Like many in that stage of life, "He'd show them." He would find a way to outshine them all.
So online he went, and there he acted out his fantasies, posted his fantasies. There he could be the person he always wanted to be, a strong presence who had strong opinions and he could now state them. Sadly, many if not most of those opinions and ideas (*some, admittedly, were interesting, introspective and reflective) were anti social, bigoted and very off putting. And they undoubtedly were brought from and cultivated at home. There were the racial slights, the homophobic jokes, the misogynistic slurs ___ much perhaps attributed to adolescence ___ but he was already in his early 20s by then, out of college, so age was no excuse. He should have known better, should have acted out better.
Then, voila, he found Disney. Here was a new avenue and, by gosh and by golly, it worked___ for a while. He went to Disney training. He got his 'dream job' of pretend and make believe. ___ But then things changed and he got an idea to begin a vlogging career. (Bad choice!) His channel was growing early; he was a new fresh face; the fan count grew. He found approval, attention and he was a 'star' after all. Then it went downhill. He didn't have the wherewithal, neither the people skills or the intellect or the drive to keep things moving forward. He dumped out bullshit and misinformation, supplemented it with thirstbait and outright lies. He created a fantasy Disney / travel House of Cards that worked pretty well for a while, and it's now all falling down. And he has no one to blame but himself. He's too thick headed and entitled now to change. He's always had someone to bail him out and tell him how 'special' he is, and he expects that to continue. He's now leeched onto a few more enablers, Lora, Casey, to add to his family enablers, but has managed to turn off any others, who might have been true friends, with his grift and lies. He has few if any real friends. He relies on his ego boost from YT 'fans' who feed that ego and there he can also delete anyone who is critical of or negative to him. The whole process is self defeating, emotionally and psychologically, and he will remain that backward, lonely kid who wanted to be accepted but had no skill set to be and was too lazy to try, but now he's growing older and the desperation is showing.
People such as this usually take one of two main roads: They finally hit a psychological 'wall' and begin to face reality (families often intervene to help) and try to dig themselves out of the hole they have dug ____ OR ____ They hold on even tighter to the fantasy self they've chosen, this feels good oftentimes, and that they've convinced themselves is the only way to success, to the top, and they ignore good advice from anyone who doesn't tell them what they want to hear. Often they cope with a lot of drugs and alcohol. I fear Pallo will take the latter path. It seems inevitable.
And that's muh' TED talk this morning.
Thanks for listening.