Ok, this week's pod run down.
AFP is in the background, so is Albert, lovely to be discussing all this stuff in front of them...
Starts off shouting, says they are wearing their trackies (so nothing has really changed on she can wear what she likes eh) Mentions her bald pussy, but means Frog the cat
The live tour gets flogged to death the whole way through, by the time they do that so much would of happened in their lives. KFP describes SFP as Alan Carr's missus and SFP says well her name is Dame Edna on TATTLE
Hi Soph. KFP immediately wants to know what her name is
She needs a sunbed
Always has nails done
Wants to lighten her hair, shall she go back blonde?
Pod tour will be on her birthday one of the days, so then starts begging for people to bring her presents, it would be like Christmas, as she got FUCK ALL for Christmas.
Said to people coming to the meet and greet make sure you get your nails done as she is obsessed with that and hair colour, makeup.
Wants to go on This morning to promote the tour, SFP says they should do a media tour. Over 18's only due to the content. AFP shouts over, KFP shouts back telling her to shut up (Charming)
AFP is getting her IOW house rendered, new kitchen, new windows (which we already knew from Willow) sounds like AFP is in a wheelchair a lot now, she is getting a stairlift in IOW house, KFP scoffs at her buying a house with stairs when she struggles to get from the motorhome into the MM, she's staying in BOTH. IOW is a 'fresh start'
Then talks about that £1 book SFP bought KFP the Secret....New year, new start, keeping positive. SFP is teaching KFP to read the book (??) She can't meditate, as her brain is too active or concentrate on one thing, she reads out a passage about law of attraction, it is about a mountain of debt (oh the irony) KFP says nothing afterwards. LOL.
Then says about the double numbers on her phone again
Sounds like KFP hasn't been to SFP's new house yet.
New beginnings, things are changing, myself, ALL ABOUT ME, self care, loving, family & work.
So much shit has happened, so much still to deal with, staying positive, still having weekly therapy (yeah yeah)
Her therapist she seen for ages (must mean Alan) she likes that they write everything done (you don't say
)
AFP is doing exercises in background making a noise, KFP shouts over "sad woman" and "go and bounce on dad, ride him like a pony" Manifest getting her leg over.
She's had a lot of stress lately, being strong, she's alive, healthy, got good support, family and now good friends.
Been to see her horse Wallis (must be first time in ages)
Starts on Love Island, she likes Jake Cornish (watch out Jake) mentions a fanny flutter. She's checking them all out, quite likes Anton too (wonder if that's because Anton said he likes her)
KFP not married, or engaged, she's single, been there done it, worn the t-shirt 3 times. Hates being single.
Then talks about 24 hours in Police custody, Albert walks in. Made Princess & Ed watch an episode, must of been a long time ago that happened.
If you can't handle your drink, don't drink and if you can't control yourself, don't go out....maybe she she take her OWN advice
AFP takes Albert out to see guinea pigs and hamster.
Back to LI and talks about Hannah's boobs, KFP doesn't comprehend how big Phil and Grant actually are.
KFP tries to get SFP to get Turkey teeth, filler, says she is just joking.
Then the end questions. (One about a woman with a 10 year old with autism etc)
Talks about Harvey, had him for a week, she's exhausted, he wakes at 4am, but if she gets in the bed with him he falls asleep holding his hand, but he snores, so she's knackered, then I have to takes him to work and stuff.
He has 1 year left at college, but could stay until he is 25, it's all about statementing, she has looked at a place up the road, but it's independent living and Harvey is too baby to live there so wants advice. Harvey had transport and a nurse or carer for the journey when he went to school, the Government helps (shame you don't pay your taxes!)
One of the viewer questions is about a woman says her husband wants to lick her bum hole. AFP walks in, KFP says Amy doesn't look shocked so must of done it, reels off a load of names she calls the bum hole, says he needs to get in the nappy position, legs in air, wash his bum as it will smell a bit poo-ey, but says why does he suddenly want this? Mentions something about her getting married after 5 weeks (always has to have a dig)
Then starts slagging off her ex mother in laws. One smelt her perfume and tried on her rings, one bought her some sexy underwear for her hen night, hates interfering MILs.
Thank god it ended