Eleanor Abernathy
VIP Member
And the carnival goes on..
The toe-eyed cabbage continued with her mission to try and convince her 16 year old minions and a couple of bots that cow’s milk is not the best thing for her daughter despite literally every health professional on the planet and probably on all of the other planets recommending it. Apparently her and the panelling pinhead don’t have it in the house because it’s bad for you and plant-based alternatives are so much better for you and your calorie deficit. She then shared (without a hint a irony) a list of foods she is willing to give to Baby Bespoke, three of which list their main ingredient as fucking cow’s milk. Kate love, I know you don’t read here but when you do, OLIVE
NEEDS COW MILK if for nothing else but to straighten her wonton-shaped spine out after spending the majority of her formative months folded in half in the car seat.
It’s Wednesday, it’s 5am so that must mean it’s time to GET UP AND GET IT DONE! Arl flipper feet took herself off on an early morning clomp and tromp around the Wirral before attending a 6am class at the gym becoming the only human being alive to have ever done this if her stories were anything to go by. She truly is an inspiration to us all and her daily determination will surely set each of us off on the right foot every day..
It’s Thursday, it’s 5am so that must mean it’s time to… Kate? Kate? Are you up? Did you miss your alarm? Maybe tomorrow, eh?
It’s Friday, it’s 5am so that must mean.. Erm? Are we just going to start again on Monday then?
We found out that the manufacturers of her Ali Express specials are as good at spelling as Professor Make Up as eagle-eyed Tattler @Noseyscouser82 spotted a bit of a cock up on the Tanning APPLICATON Mitt. We wait with baited breath to see the new items in her range including her new Foundaton Bruh, Contur Stic, Eyesadw Palet, and the jewel of the collection, the Fak Tane.
Olive proved once again she is pretty much feral because she kicks off if she’s not allowed to brush her almost 5 teeth. I’ll let you into a secret, Kate, she’s kicking off because she’s seen those Mah-Jong tiles you’ve got masquerading as teeth and is absolutely terrified that it’s a result of your bad brushing. She’d quite frankly rather brush her teeth herself than end up with a mouth of blank scrabble pieces.
She managed to wangle her way into a free Maya Jama promotional event via the sheer power of knowing how to create an Eventbrite account and spelling her name right. For some reason she decided going dressed as Winston Churchill up top and Lance Armstrong below the waist was the right way to go, much to the bemusement of every other member of the general public who had also registered for the free Maya Jama promotional event. Her tongue also got an airing during the meet and greet part of the evening - possibly to detract from the bedpan hat, or maybe she’d just troughed all the salt and vinegar crisps and it had gotten too big for her mouth?
Fear not working mums, ZSM, Big Momma of the Century is here to help with some groundbreaking, Take-a-Break Magazine worthy tips for those of you who are finding it hard to juggle one day of work a week and taking non-filtered photos of yourself in the corridor mirror with looking after Mensa’s youngest ever Spanish speaking member. Are you ready for this? It. Will. Change. Your. Life. If you have to leave the house before 10 in the morning and straighten your kids hair before you leave, then YOU SHOULD GET YOUR BAGS READY THE NIGHT BEFORE! Generations of working mothers could have saved themselves the trauma of trying to get ready in the morning if only they’d had the wisdom and knowledge of Miss K Makeup bestowed upon them. What a tragedy.
Another wedding, another slightly startled bride with a phone shoved in her face and trying not to cry at the fact she’s paid good money to look like a bird of prey has been handed a mascara wand and trained to hover and poke in the vicinity of her eyeballs. ZSM went well prepared though with her Homie B’s plastic lunchbag and matching drink bottle holder full of her scabby brushes and a couple of palettes. Beautiful pale skin and red hair? Not on my watch declared the Wirral’s 72nd most popular MUA.
More non-dairy promotion as Olive had her first ice-cream (
this face because why not?) Kate must see not giving Baby Bespoke cow’s milk in the same way that she believes she’s in a calorie deficit - if she says it, then it’s definitely true, regardless of the cocktails, eating out every night, gifted brownies, and the 14 avocados a day.
The absolute ultimate irony occurred when she shared a post declaring that she loves hearing any advice and options from her fellow Mommas. What she neglected to add to that post was while she may ask for advice and opinions, she will only welcome those that are the same as hers. Disagree with her taking her kid abroad in the middle of a pandemic? Hulk smash!
Think she’s wrong about the cow’s milk? Miss Piggy Hiiiyah!
Dare to correct her on a blusher colour? TROLL!!!
Remember folks, only those who ignore covid rules, beg for free stuff, leave their baby unattended with a dog, and think it’s ok to drink when pregnant will make it through unblocked.
As always, Read the Wiki..
The toe-eyed cabbage continued with her mission to try and convince her 16 year old minions and a couple of bots that cow’s milk is not the best thing for her daughter despite literally every health professional on the planet and probably on all of the other planets recommending it. Apparently her and the panelling pinhead don’t have it in the house because it’s bad for you and plant-based alternatives are so much better for you and your calorie deficit. She then shared (without a hint a irony) a list of foods she is willing to give to Baby Bespoke, three of which list their main ingredient as fucking cow’s milk. Kate love, I know you don’t read here but when you do, OLIVE
NEEDS COW MILK if for nothing else but to straighten her wonton-shaped spine out after spending the majority of her formative months folded in half in the car seat. It’s Wednesday, it’s 5am so that must mean it’s time to GET UP AND GET IT DONE! Arl flipper feet took herself off on an early morning clomp and tromp around the Wirral before attending a 6am class at the gym becoming the only human being alive to have ever done this if her stories were anything to go by. She truly is an inspiration to us all and her daily determination will surely set each of us off on the right foot every day..
It’s Thursday, it’s 5am so that must mean it’s time to… Kate? Kate? Are you up? Did you miss your alarm? Maybe tomorrow, eh?
It’s Friday, it’s 5am so that must mean.. Erm? Are we just going to start again on Monday then?
We found out that the manufacturers of her Ali Express specials are as good at spelling as Professor Make Up as eagle-eyed Tattler @Noseyscouser82 spotted a bit of a cock up on the Tanning APPLICATON Mitt. We wait with baited breath to see the new items in her range including her new Foundaton Bruh, Contur Stic, Eyesadw Palet, and the jewel of the collection, the Fak Tane.
Olive proved once again she is pretty much feral because she kicks off if she’s not allowed to brush her almost 5 teeth. I’ll let you into a secret, Kate, she’s kicking off because she’s seen those Mah-Jong tiles you’ve got masquerading as teeth and is absolutely terrified that it’s a result of your bad brushing. She’d quite frankly rather brush her teeth herself than end up with a mouth of blank scrabble pieces.
She managed to wangle her way into a free Maya Jama promotional event via the sheer power of knowing how to create an Eventbrite account and spelling her name right. For some reason she decided going dressed as Winston Churchill up top and Lance Armstrong below the waist was the right way to go, much to the bemusement of every other member of the general public who had also registered for the free Maya Jama promotional event. Her tongue also got an airing during the meet and greet part of the evening - possibly to detract from the bedpan hat, or maybe she’d just troughed all the salt and vinegar crisps and it had gotten too big for her mouth?
Fear not working mums, ZSM, Big Momma of the Century is here to help with some groundbreaking, Take-a-Break Magazine worthy tips for those of you who are finding it hard to juggle one day of work a week and taking non-filtered photos of yourself in the corridor mirror with looking after Mensa’s youngest ever Spanish speaking member. Are you ready for this? It. Will. Change. Your. Life. If you have to leave the house before 10 in the morning and straighten your kids hair before you leave, then YOU SHOULD GET YOUR BAGS READY THE NIGHT BEFORE! Generations of working mothers could have saved themselves the trauma of trying to get ready in the morning if only they’d had the wisdom and knowledge of Miss K Makeup bestowed upon them. What a tragedy.
Another wedding, another slightly startled bride with a phone shoved in her face and trying not to cry at the fact she’s paid good money to look like a bird of prey has been handed a mascara wand and trained to hover and poke in the vicinity of her eyeballs. ZSM went well prepared though with her Homie B’s plastic lunchbag and matching drink bottle holder full of her scabby brushes and a couple of palettes. Beautiful pale skin and red hair? Not on my watch declared the Wirral’s 72nd most popular MUA.
More non-dairy promotion as Olive had her first ice-cream (
this face because why not?) Kate must see not giving Baby Bespoke cow’s milk in the same way that she believes she’s in a calorie deficit - if she says it, then it’s definitely true, regardless of the cocktails, eating out every night, gifted brownies, and the 14 avocados a day. The absolute ultimate irony occurred when she shared a post declaring that she loves hearing any advice and options from her fellow Mommas. What she neglected to add to that post was while she may ask for advice and opinions, she will only welcome those that are the same as hers. Disagree with her taking her kid abroad in the middle of a pandemic? Hulk smash!
Think she’s wrong about the cow’s milk? Miss Piggy Hiiiyah!
Dare to correct her on a blusher colour? TROLL!!!
Remember folks, only those who ignore covid rules, beg for free stuff, leave their baby unattended with a dog, and think it’s ok to drink when pregnant will make it through unblocked.
As always, Read the Wiki..
like she’s some fucking superstar
I’m from a working class Liverpool family none of that shite impresses me. Anyone can say anything here. My house is worth 1.2m and I ride a solid gold horse
we've had a family member pass away, everyone is absolutely heartbroken and lost. Funeral was a couple of days ago. I'm just dipping in and out for now until I can join in properly again. Love to you all 
