Yorkshiretea123
Chatty Member
New Thread = My ice cream brings all the trolls to the yard, me mates garden..... is better than yours.
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QueenBarb2
VIP Member
Fucking gogglesView attachment 231878Fuck me that’s more than what I took for a 10 night stay in Spain
Why’s her head going underwater the fucking pleb.
AT SWIMMING:
*THM pushes the Leisure Centres door open struggling with 3 bags of shit she doesn’t need and kicks OHD’s car seat through the entrance”
NANNY HAYES: *sat in the car reads the sign on the outside of the door* WHAT? NO SPECTATORS? OH BLOOMIN HELL I WANTED TO WATCH THIS SPECIAL MOMENT OF MY SHOVEL HANDED DARLING, NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN A BABY SCREAM THROUGH A BABY SWIM LESSON BEFORE THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING NOOOOOOOOOOO *cries softly into her own shoulder*
THM: *rolling her tiny eyes* MUM SHUT UP HONESTLY IT DOESNT MATTER JUST STAY IN THE FUCKIN CAR MMKAY.
NANNY HAYES: ALRIGHT MY HEAVY HANDED ANGEL *wipes her nose on her sleeve*
THM: *walks through door* HIIII IVE GOT OLIFFFF FOR SWIMMING LESSONS MMMKAY?
RECEPTION: HIYA, WHAT NAME IS IT?
THM: OLIVE HAZE DER DELO, IM SURE YOULL KNOW MY NAME I AM A WELL KNOWN GLOBAL MUM AND MUA *checks her insta insights*
RECEPTION: *screws face up* THE NAME ON THE BOOKING IS KATE? *points* CHANGING ROOMS ARE THAT WAY, DO YOU NEED A HAND OR YOU OK??
THM: YEAH HONESTLY SO MANY PEOPLE WHERE ASKING ME TO DO A LIST MMKAY SO IVE ENDED UP JUST BRINGING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING MMMKAY. ILL TAG HERE SO IT HELPS YOUR BUSINESS *holds her phone out at the Reception girl*
RECEPTION: ITS JUST COUNCIL RUN HERE SO NOT SURE HOW THAT'LL HELP. HERE GIVE ME YOUR TINY UNNECESSARY DESIGNER BAG AND ILL GET THE CAR SEAT FOR YOU
*THM heads into the changing room to get OHD ready for her swimming lesson*
THM: AWW YE OK? *unclipping OHD out of the car seat
OHD: I FINK SO MOMMA, MY SKIN IS ATTACHING TO THIS SEAT IM IN IT THAT MUCH DOW.
THM: OK SO IVE GOT MY GOGGLES, SOME WHISPERING ANGEL IN A FLASK MMMKAy, SOME GOGGLES FOR YOU, A TEDDY BEAR, AN AGE 3 TUTU AND A STRAW HAT MMKAY
OHD: MMKAY?
THM: IVE GOT SOME ANDREX, A NAPPY THAT WILL GO ALL MUSHY AND HEAVY THE MINUTE WE GET IN THE WATER MMKAY. MY BURBERRY SWIM COSTUME AND IVE EVEN STUFFED MAX INTO A BAG..
OHD: MMKAY MOMMA, WHAT ELSE
THM: AND IVE ALSO GOT MMKAY, YOUR FIRST SCUBA DIVING OUTFIT COMPLETE WITH BESPOKE AIR TANK AND SNORKEL. MMKAYYYY. I WAS GONNA BRING YOUR BURBERRY TO MATCH BUT I AM HV SAID TO PUT YOU IN A FULL SUIT MMKAY
OHD: *rolls eyes*
*THM and OHD head into the main pool, she steps down into the pool and lets out a massive fart that echo’s throughout the whole building. She looks around as if it wasn’t here and wades over time the other mums covering OHD’s face at all times incase anyone sees her face*
THM: *talking loudly so other Mums can hear* YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS BAD WORLD MMMKAY
OHD: IM FREEZING MOMMA
*The bag that Max is in suddenly busts open and Max comes legging it out doing laps around the pool*
MAX: WOOF!!! WHERE THE FUCK AM I WOOF?
OTHER MUMS: *gasp* A DOG!!!!
LIFE GUARD: SOMEONE TRY AND GET HIM DOES THIS BELONG TO ANYONE
THM: MAXIIIIII MMKAY. GO BACK TO YOUR BAG MMKAY. SORRY I THOUGHT I COULD BRING HIM BUT WHEN I SAW NO SPECTATORS I JUST PUT HIM IN A BAG
MAX: *rolls eyes* OK SEE YA IN A BIT *walks off calmly to the changing rooms and zips himself back up in the duffle bag
*The class begins and THM is going the extra mile doing the dance moves for all the nursery rhymes and suddenly her slab back rips open her Burberry swimming costume*
OTHER MUMS: *gasp at the tearing sounds and start gossiping amongst themselves*
THM: OH NO.. *her long nipples are nearly touching another Momma’s leg under the water* SORRY MMKAY I NEED TO GET OUT *trying to get out, cover herself and hide OHD*
*she slips and slides all along the pool back to the changing room crying hysterically at the fact her costume ripped and is down to her knees now*
THM: LETS GET CHANGED AND GET OUTSIDE TO NANNY MMMKAY
OHD: *screaming* IM SO COLD
MAX: *unzips himself and starts to help calm the situation down, he grabs a nappy and puts it on the cold Bub*
THM: YOU SORT OHD OUT AND ILL JUST GO DO SOME GLAM AT THE MIRROR MMMKAY
*1 hour later they emerge and get into the car*
NANNY HAYES: HOW WAS IT MY MONEY MAD MUSHROOM NOSED DIAMOND? AWW LOOK AT OLIF.
THM: SHH MUM ONE MINUTE IVE ONLY JUST GOT IN THE CAR MMKAY!! IM JUST GOING TO POST ON INSTA NOW TO TELL EVERYONE HOW IT WENT JUST DRIVE US HOME MMKAY
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QueenBarb2
VIP Member
TODAY GOING FOR SUNDAY ROAST:
*THM is in the walk in living room flopping all over the marble island like a seal that’s been made to do too many tricks in Knowsley Safari Park*
DELO: FUCK SAKE KATE CANT BELIEVE WE ARE EATING OUT AGAIN GERL, BET ITS COSTING YOU A BOMB *checks his WhatsApp with his wandering eye and quickly blocks whoever is messaging him*
THM: HONEST TO GOD I WILL PUT YA BACK IN THAT SHED MMMMKAY? NOW SHURRUP IM DOING ME GLAM *farts as she turns round to put OHD on top of the marble island*
*Delo walks off and sits with max on that tiny green sofa, he looks round and wonders when the cleaners are coming back because there’s orange finger marks and yesterday’s fish all over the place*
THM: SO GUYZZ AV JUST COME ON TO DO A QUICK GLAM, SO YA SLAP THIS FOUNDATION ALL OVER YA FACE AS THICK AS YA CAN MMMKAY.. ILL TELL YOU NOW WHAT IM GONNA USE MMKAY, IVE USED—-
*next story appears with her make up finished*
SO NOW JUST MY LIP GLOSS DAT I TRIED TO KEEP FROM YA ALL FOR A DAY BUT ITS JUST A CHEAP £1 GLOSS AND NO ONE WAS ARSED MMMKAY.. THERE YA GO, OLIV IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS UGLY WEEERRLLLDDD MMKAY.
OHD: *looks around as she can feel the heat of the ring light on her highlighted hair* IYA MOMMA
THM: AWW YE OK?
knock knock knock
*Delo legs it to the door and it’s big bad Chez*
CHEZ: *looks Delo up and down* ALRIGHT LAD
DELO: ALRIGHT LAD.
CHEZ: SHE IN ERE YEAH? *points at the walk in living room dragging her shark behind her*
THM: CHEZ IYA HUN. MMKAY.. YOU ARE 40!!!!
CHEZ: I AM 40? AND WHAT? COME PLAY WIV THE BIG GERLS!! *plugs her shark in and hovers her finger over the power button*
THM: AM JUST GOING OUT MMKAY CHEZ... THANKS FOR THEM SNIDE D&G SHOES THEYLL FIT HER IN 2 YEARS THEY ARE MY FAVE *spinning round on the spot trying to throw her hair choice extensions in last minute
OHD: THANKS FOR ME WEBS AUNTIE CHEZ *covers her own face*
CHEZ: AWW NO PROBLEM OLIV. IM JUST GONNA DO SOME HOOVER LINES FOR YA KATE HUN WHILE YOUR OUT
DELO: YOU READY KATE? ALL YA FAMILY THAT YOU DONT POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA ANYMORE ARE WAITING GERL *scowls at Chez and she scowls back*
THM: LETS GO IM DYING FOR MORE WINE ITS BEEN 5 HOURS SINCE IVE HAD A DRINK MMKAAAY *throws hideous hat on and throws OHD over her shoulder*
*THM is in the walk in living room flopping all over the marble island like a seal that’s been made to do too many tricks in Knowsley Safari Park*
DELO: FUCK SAKE KATE CANT BELIEVE WE ARE EATING OUT AGAIN GERL, BET ITS COSTING YOU A BOMB *checks his WhatsApp with his wandering eye and quickly blocks whoever is messaging him*
THM: HONEST TO GOD I WILL PUT YA BACK IN THAT SHED MMMMKAY? NOW SHURRUP IM DOING ME GLAM *farts as she turns round to put OHD on top of the marble island*
*Delo walks off and sits with max on that tiny green sofa, he looks round and wonders when the cleaners are coming back because there’s orange finger marks and yesterday’s fish all over the place*
THM: SO GUYZZ AV JUST COME ON TO DO A QUICK GLAM, SO YA SLAP THIS FOUNDATION ALL OVER YA FACE AS THICK AS YA CAN MMMKAY.. ILL TELL YOU NOW WHAT IM GONNA USE MMKAY, IVE USED—-
*next story appears with her make up finished*
SO NOW JUST MY LIP GLOSS DAT I TRIED TO KEEP FROM YA ALL FOR A DAY BUT ITS JUST A CHEAP £1 GLOSS AND NO ONE WAS ARSED MMMKAY.. THERE YA GO, OLIV IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS UGLY WEEERRLLLDDD MMKAY.
OHD: *looks around as she can feel the heat of the ring light on her highlighted hair* IYA MOMMA
THM: AWW YE OK?
knock knock knock
*Delo legs it to the door and it’s big bad Chez*
CHEZ: *looks Delo up and down* ALRIGHT LAD
DELO: ALRIGHT LAD.
CHEZ: SHE IN ERE YEAH? *points at the walk in living room dragging her shark behind her*
THM: CHEZ IYA HUN. MMKAY.. YOU ARE 40!!!!
CHEZ: I AM 40? AND WHAT? COME PLAY WIV THE BIG GERLS!! *plugs her shark in and hovers her finger over the power button*
THM: AM JUST GOING OUT MMKAY CHEZ... THANKS FOR THEM SNIDE D&G SHOES THEYLL FIT HER IN 2 YEARS THEY ARE MY FAVE *spinning round on the spot trying to throw her hair choice extensions in last minute
OHD: THANKS FOR ME WEBS AUNTIE CHEZ *covers her own face*
CHEZ: AWW NO PROBLEM OLIV. IM JUST GONNA DO SOME HOOVER LINES FOR YA KATE HUN WHILE YOUR OUT
DELO: YOU READY KATE? ALL YA FAMILY THAT YOU DONT POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA ANYMORE ARE WAITING GERL *scowls at Chez and she scowls back*
THM: LETS GO IM DYING FOR MORE WINE ITS BEEN 5 HOURS SINCE IVE HAD A DRINK MMKAAAY *throws hideous hat on and throws OHD over her shoulder*
Hereforthegossss
VIP Member
Is Keith Lemon coming round to film Through the Keyhole ?? Who lives in house like this ??? Let's do a round up of the clues.........
1. The living room is a Dressing Room
2. A pantry full of truffle products
3. 17 breast pumps on the marble island
4. A bomb shelter/shed/Daddy's Dog house in the garden.
5. A Farrow and Ball painted nursery with clothes for a 5 year old and an adult sized cowboy hat...
6. A men's beige Mac and snazzy men's scarf
7. A bedroom night light that resembles a tent at creamfields
Back to the studio !!
1. The living room is a Dressing Room
2. A pantry full of truffle products
3. 17 breast pumps on the marble island
4. A bomb shelter/shed/Daddy's Dog house in the garden.
5. A Farrow and Ball painted nursery with clothes for a 5 year old and an adult sized cowboy hat...
6. A men's beige Mac and snazzy men's scarf
7. A bedroom night light that resembles a tent at creamfields
Back to the studio !!
gizmo
Active member
Not Savers I’m afraid! Not sure when she was there but it was around 10 years ago I worked with her. Can’t give too much away as there wasn’t many of us and I don’t fancy her bouncing down my drive swinging the car seat.Welcome! Please come and spill the tea
I completely forgot about her when she left until I seen her name here and it took me a few weeks to catch up. Only here really to see if anyone could enlighten me on why she now spends her days editing her daughters hair to look like Shirley off Eastenders. So dreamy.
Lurkymclurkinson1
VIP Member
New thread suggestion:
Kate Hayes #30 Truffalos trying to be 'relatable'. She doesn't read here, but that's debatable
Kate Hayes #30 Truffalos trying to be 'relatable'. She doesn't read here, but that's debatable
Quarrantinemadness
VIP Member
I don’t know what all you mums of this world ever moan about
I mean KHM has shown that childbirth and caring for ones offspring is simply a dream!
Didn’t even notice Trolive come out
She sleeps all day and night, never cries, came out with a full head of foils, knew her fashion from day dot and is even picking out her fave outfits and accessories.
KHM is running about the Wirral, no bleeding or pain whatsoever, multi tasking, making ryvita lunches, going to get mates garden for a photo shoot, AND she’s even got MUM STYLE
How many of you universal credit people have got MUM STYLE.
You lot ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
I mean KHM has shown that childbirth and caring for ones offspring is simply a dream!
Didn’t even notice Trolive come out
She sleeps all day and night, never cries, came out with a full head of foils, knew her fashion from day dot and is even picking out her fave outfits and accessories.
KHM is running about the Wirral, no bleeding or pain whatsoever, multi tasking, making ryvita lunches, going to get mates garden for a photo shoot, AND she’s even got MUM STYLE
How many of you universal credit people have got MUM STYLE.
You lot ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
Charlie Farlie
VIP Member
I’m a story teller & my story must be told. 
Wonse upon a tyme u was a litle tini babba Nd mumy and Dady KHM HAYES Delamere luvd yuu so much it made mamy cri Nd cri.
We wonted two show yuu the world so we neva eva staid at home. Our bestist trip waz wen we visitd ourr frends bak gardenn.
Oh Olif it waz so hugge yuu luved it soo. I had my favrite hat on and dady tuke our picter.
It waz a magik gardenn as it made mamy luke amasing Nd 3 stone liter...
Until nxt munth Olif Hazel on owa nxt jurney.
Much luve from yor mamy KHM HAZE-DELAMERE Xxxxxxxxxxx
Wonse upon a tyme u was a litle tini babba Nd mumy and Dady KHM HAYES Delamere luvd yuu so much it made mamy cri Nd cri.
We wonted two show yuu the world so we neva eva staid at home. Our bestist trip waz wen we visitd ourr frends bak gardenn.
Oh Olif it waz so hugge yuu luved it soo. I had my favrite hat on and dady tuke our picter.
It waz a magik gardenn as it made mamy luke amasing Nd 3 stone liter...
Until nxt munth Olif Hazel on owa nxt jurney.
Much luve from yor mamy KHM HAZE-DELAMERE Xxxxxxxxxxx
basketcase123
Active member
Hi all,
the girl Hollie who commented isn’t friends with Kate. She went to my school- that’s her familys farm and they own/run the cafe together
it’s on the way to thurstaston beach x
the girl Hollie who commented isn’t friends with Kate. She went to my school- that’s her familys farm and they own/run the cafe together
it’s on the way to thurstaston beach x
QueenBarb2
VIP Member
Nooo I’ve seen it all now.
She’s a bad fucking dickhead!!!!!
Doesn’t her old Rangie have a lock/unlock interior button.. minute she presses that the alarm will stop???? Or is she just really that fuckin thick
SAT ON HER FUCKIN PHONE POSTING HER STUPID FACE TO STRANGERS ONLINE INSTEAD OF CLIMBING INTO THE BACK AND JUST LETTING THE BABY KNOW SHES THERE
OR TRY WHACK HER ON YA LONG NIPPED TYRE TIT YOU NONBREASTFEEDING MUMLITASKLING DICKHEAD.
“OHD hates its in the car”
SHES A FUCKING MONTH OLD AND SHES BEEN IN THAT CAR SEAT MORE THAN IN A HUMANS ARMS!!!!!!
She’s a bad fucking dickhead!!!!!
Doesn’t her old Rangie have a lock/unlock interior button.. minute she presses that the alarm will stop???? Or is she just really that fuckin thick
SAT ON HER FUCKIN PHONE POSTING HER STUPID FACE TO STRANGERS ONLINE INSTEAD OF CLIMBING INTO THE BACK AND JUST LETTING THE BABY KNOW SHES THERE
OR TRY WHACK HER ON YA LONG NIPPED TYRE TIT YOU NONBREASTFEEDING MUMLITASKLING DICKHEAD.
“OHD hates its in the car”
SHES A FUCKING MONTH OLD AND SHES BEEN IN THAT CAR SEAT MORE THAN IN A HUMANS ARMS!!!!!!
Letmetellya
Chatty Member
Can you imagine olive looking back on her baby pictures “here’s you next to a backpack” “here’s you on the grazing table” “there you are in the pampers grass”
Brooke Davis
VIP Member
Attachments
Perfectsmile01
VIP Member
Yellowsocks
Active member
how ironic that THM retweeted this
cheshirelady75
Well-known member
Just thought I would post my small goldfish pond in case anyone wants a quick pic