Joe Wicks #14 Sir Joe of Gin Tons, M(assive) B(ell) E(nd)

[louderforthecheapseats]

Bit of for you. My OH used to go to school with one of the guys involved with Soccer Aid so asked him to find out why Burpee Jesus isn’t there….basically other celebs said they wouldn’t play again if he was there. Was an embarrassment, running about on his phone filming everything and trying to get selfies. Then he got really pissed. Was also really braggy with all the freebies they got which they ask them to keep a lid on as even although they’re all freebies it still for charity so don’t want people thinking they’re money is going towards that

 

[JayRad]

What he isn’t showing us is the lunchbox getting sent back home after nursery with a note from the teacher saying ‘Marley ate his sandwich and fruit but left the olives and cucumber. He said he doesn’t like them and his dad is a nob’

 

[StephenTJackson]

I'm launching a new workout programme, Tattlers get a 20% discount with the code WICKSISAPRICK20, it's called LIIT. Low Intensity Interval Training.

You leave your snacks upstairs, and you stay downstairs. Everytime you want a snack, you have to walk upstairs to get them. And you can only take one snack at a time.

Other LIIT workout techniques can be found in my exclusive new workout programme.

 

[Brummiebird]

Can anyone summarise the documentary? Does he have any of the things we amateur diagnosed him with? Bipolar? NPD? Orthorexia? Depression? All of them?

I’m certain something will be revealed but sadly it won’t be his blindingly obvious condition of attention seeking cuntitis.

 

[AaronPurrSir]

He’s looked at some pictures about it. He’s now a fucking climate change scientist/expert. New book incoming.

Green in 15

 

[AFlyOnYourWall]

Bet he loves a finger up the bum

 

[keepyourpeace]

Is this our next thread title?

Can I request that we add “The floppy haired twat” to the end of it please

joe wicks #15 The floppy haired twat. He didn't get the record? Oh how very sad.

As a thread title suggestion

 

[MaryPoppinsHandbag]

Fuck off are they movie snacks!! Burpee Jesus please just give the kids some crisps or sweeties like a normal parent.

 

[Brummiebird]

This is Joe Wicks we are talking about, he’ll listen to a podcast and be a expert pilot by the end of it. He’s flying that plane to Australia himself with Indie as Co Pilot.
Marley will be in economy wearing a tutu with a bag of sprouts and a manky old banana for snacks.

 

[Brummiebird]

I wonder what Rosie’s parents think.

“Free holiday, wahey! and that squeaky voiced prick ain’t coming. Winning at life!”

 

[Eeeww David!]

Fuck off are they movie snacks!! Burpee Jesus please just give the kids some crisps or sweeties like a normal parent.

My dad had hard skin on his feet that looked more appetising than those parsnips.

 

[Tui]

Wtf is this sanctimonious bellend trying to preach to everyone about now ? Casually mentioning he's better than you because he doesn't drink tea or coffee. And why bring calories into it? Tea and coffee are hardly calorific drinks! A simple "no I don't drink tea or coffee" would have done. But noo Joe has to use it as an excuse to preach about his superior lifestyle choices.
I wonder if he applies his liquid calories logic when he's knocking back the gin-tons?

I am generally very suspicious of people who don’t drink tea or coffee.

 

[Asparagus123]

I haven’t watched the documentary but I’m wondering if Indie will do a documentary when she’s older about the over explore of her child hood on social media
“My dad sold my childhood to sell his weight loss plan “
Including taking pictures of me when I had soiled my knickers when I was only 2 years old
He also made me eat left over dinners the next day and sent me to bed hungry
I was only allowed my breakfast which was mainly keto style food when I had counted all the chia seeds

 

[Dr_dhoom]

I thought he didn’t count calories?

Also utter bullshit from him, how many times has he posted himself drinking fruit juice, smoothies, protein drinks etc (to say nothing of the booze). I suppose those are calorie free are they??

I honestly don’t understand how he gets away with preaching about behaviours and lifestyle habits to sell his crappy fitness “product” that he doesn’t even do himself.
“You just need to do my hiit workouts” and then he does mostly strength work and hires personal coaches (and why does a so called fitness expert need to hire a coach anyway?)

“I don’t drink calories” but drinks calories

“Healthy food choices” has disordered and unhealthy eating habits

“Don’t waste time on social media” literally addicted to social media

“Be consistent and hit your goals” is definitely not consistent and fails at almost every goal he sets

I could go on.

 

[Erzxo]

Do you think his parents ever look at him and think 'what the fuck have we raised?!'

That documentary was so painful to watch.

ETA: He was banging on the other day that he doesn't touch tea or coffee. Just got to the bit in the documentary where he's like I drink 3 double espresso's at 6pm.

 

[Bluesoul88]

Joe Wicks is the master of fakery .. and trying to appear perfect from behind a screen. He loves showing us inside Marley's lunchbox because what he's really trying to say to his followers is "I'm the perfect Dad who only ever feeds my child the highest quality nutritious food and I want all you peasants to feel bad that your kid's lunches aren't as middle class as mine and you all probably feed your less than perfect children processed crap for lunch. Something I would NEVER do. Meanwhile I will stuff my sanctimonious chops with brownies, marmalade on toast and neck copious amounts of gin tons in the comfort of my glorious mansion, because I'm a massive hypocritical smug bellend".

 

[Bubblemamaa22]

I take pens and colouring books, a lot of parents do, he acts like he invented it. My 3 year old scribbles for 10 mins then gets bored, so we take all sorts, small toys, Netflix, food, playing eye spy, looking out the window. Children of that age get bored very quickly.
Agree it’s the pushing the writing practice again, I’m surprised she’s not writing full sentences by now

I would have thought they'd be releasing her dissertation any day...

1001 Ways My Dad is a Conceited Wanker, with analysis.

 

[keepyourpeace]

He reminds me of a poundland Russel brand now

 

[Somersetvibes]

I remain convinced that he's a cunt

 

[Raquencha]

Rosie probably has a secret stash of fish fingers and waffles hidden in freezer which she whips out every time he’s away