Joanne Marie Cronin #5 Boobs around waist, no fashion taste, now anti-waste, seems a bit spaced

[Jox]

Casa Cronin, 7pm
mammy (on crutches) heaves towards Jojo’s room calling “Joanne, Joanne darling, your 4 in 1 has arrived, I paid for it and tipped it out like a sandcastle, the way you like”
She struggles to Jojo’s bedroom door, hesitates, then knocks, “sweetheart, dinner”
Joanne replies: GO AWAY IM MANIFESTING
Mammy returns to the living room, looks at the Christmas decorations and sighs. It’s August.
Daddy C asks is Jojo still masterbating and is there a chance she will go blind.
He was hoping she would get a job soon.

 

[Erinslife]

Excuses for JoCro and her no-show:

I was taking down the Christmas Decorations.

I became lodged under a mound of dirty clothing that hasn’t been touched since Mammy went into Hospital. Daddy had to call the fire-brigade to get me out.

I was on skype to my very real, very beautiful boyfriend who is based in the Alps.

I had one too many pieces of raw chicken lastnight and spent the last hour glued to the toilet.

My clock fell off the wall and broke and I didn’t know it was 7pm.

I was out for a walk and was mistaken for Molly- Mae, I spent the last 3 hours signing autographs.

 

[ChuckleSister]

Manchester lads. If I hear about that friggin place one more time Fantastic place, but that's irrelevant.

This is incredibly accurate example of Joanne's inability to set action into motion. Manchester is hardly New York. Its not deep in the heart of the Amazonian jungle.

Do up a CV (maybe leave out the bit about 3 degrees for now),apply for jobs, get in on a house share, get a €50 aerlingus one-way 40 mins flight Cork to Manchester.
No Manifestation needed. Just a pinch of logic and an ounce of forward thinking.
You can rub every bloody crystal within 10 mile radius, but until you actually get off your arse and do something about it, you only have yourself to blame for not being where you want to be.
The same attitude and commitment is ringing through for these ever post-poned 'Lives'. Empty promises on the ever growing long finger.

Frustrated because this is the umpteenth time she's mentioned moving there and still sitting at home, flicking her bean beneath that rancid purple rag. She's not 23.

But oh yes, I just remembered, you don't get half as many benefits in the UK. And they don't do a 4 in 1. And not merely enough ski instructors...

Hmmm..perhaps she's better off where she is after all.

 

[BigMavis]

I refuse to believe shes not taking the piss. The make up! The lipstick on her teeth! The seafood starter! Seriously?

 

[ChuckleSister]

Promise breaker, Covid Faker, Benefit Taker, Professional Masquerader... here's some more JoCro Caper

 

[Erinslife]

Suggestion:

‘JoCro the no-show, stopped turning up for her lives is it any surprise’

 

[Emg85]

The Joanne Marie Cronin Drinking Game

Take a shot every time she says one of the following words/phrases (warning: you will be off your tits by the end of any one of her instagram lives).

Hiiiieee evereeeeone
Soooo
Ehm
Definitely
Amazing weekend
Today I want to talk about
What I've learned
I love being me
Daily basis
Important
Self love
As I always say

 

[Emg85]

Recap: 30 year old jobless woman lives at home with mammy and daddy, no friends to speak of, thrives on positive comments from strangers that appear to be paid followers of her accounts, has aspirations to be a full time fashion influencer/life coach despite her lack of talent/qualifications or any discernable fashion sense. Has to take a break every two days or so due to the rigours of taking pictures and videos of herself, prone to lashing out on tiktok when she reads tattle comments taking the piss out of her. Posts meandering live videos where even she seems confused about what she is talking about, general fantasist not living on the same planet as the rest of us.

 

[babynice]

“Goodbye Christmas 2021, you’ve been amazing”

And her mam fell and broke her hip a few days ago??

 

[Bonbon76]

Thread title suggestion:

JoJo's a no show, crystals a no go, tinsel so lairy it's staying till February

 

[Bonbon76]

Yay! It's ThursFriTomorrowday

 

[Emg85]

Is she seriously trying to suggest that 101 years ago people in this country WEREN'T Irish? It's no wonder you failed your politics and history exams. Go home Joanne, you're drunk. Idiot.

 

[judgyjudgy]

This one is blowing my mind this week! I wasn’t aware we had British routes Irish people don’t have British ROOTS you bellend.
also didn’t realise we were only invaded so they could bring us the likes of Tesco

 

[BigMavis]

Oh ok. We're bringing the feet back!

 

[#obsssessed]

Her lipstick reminds me of Mrs Doyle from Father Ted on a day out

 

[Emg85]

Someone's been reading tattle today! Hi Joanne, you've just admitted that you're a lazy shite and there's no reason why you can't work, what a loser.

 

[Havinagawk]

Just going to leave this here!

 

[Erinslife]

So Einstein herself reckons people ‘troll’ her because she has something they only wish they could have.
What would that be then Joanne, your job, your style, your strong moral compass, your intelligence, your 3 degrees, your wide selection of supportive bras, your impressive work ethic, your ability to make an outstanding homemade boomerang….. oh, wait, you don’t have any of those things.

 

[Havinagawk]

I'm calling it! Time of death 19:11!

 

[You better werk]

Her latest reel...none of those outfits are remotely like the eras she's trying to do