Jason Arday

[ChastityDingle]

Because virtually everything he says is nonsensical bollox it’s easy to gloss over the finer points and practicalities of some of it. How on earth would this even work?

Spoiler: Long Mither

He’s meant to be giving a lecture to these good-hearted simple-souled PE students on, I dunno, VO2 max, which he’s doing by pontificating at great length on a scene from Rocky IV and The Marvelous Music of The Northwest (TM)’s The Verve’s (Richard Ashcroft’s Band)’s Bittersweet Symphony.

An awed-and-inspired white working class student shyly pipes up asking the exotic creature before her for clarification on calculating VO2 max, to which Jase responds “Why thank you Sarah Elaine, for asking I, Jason Arday, that question. As my mother Giff always says, it is like watching my mother Giff’s mother, (my gran)’s enormous pillar candle burning itself out between Christmas and New Year. And how were your Frosties this morning? Anyway, enough about you. Let’s listen to Orinoco Flow while I inspire you all with more fascinating true stories about me and my fascinating true life. Did you know I still have the towel the snooker cue manufacturers gave me back when I was a teen football and snooker prodigy who had very recently learned to speak in complete inspirational sentences and (also inspirational) bon mots but still couldn’t read or write and used to bunk off school for 6 hours a day every day without anyone knowing to go to Riley’s Clapham (by getting on the number 77 bus outside my school and getting off the number 77 bus outside Riley’s Clapham)?”

Then they all clap and cheer and resolve that thanks to the inspiring presence and words of he, Jason Arday, never will they phone up the Liverpool police when they see a Black man entering a Liverpool house using his Liverpool front door key. If indeed they should ever in their lifetime bear witness such a curious and rare-r than Halley’s Comet event.

Jason exits stage right to catch his daily National Express coach from Liverpool One Bus Station (Canning Place) back to London Victoria Coach Station and from there walking to Victoria Station, getting on the Victoria Line train to Stockwell, getting off the Victoria Line train at Stockwell, changing to the Northern Line at Stockwell and catching a Northern Line train from Stockwell to Clapham South.

I'd like a little more detail please. When he got home, and went to wash his hands after the journey, did he turn on the hot tap or cold tap first? Was there soap - stuff that you use to wash your hands, it comes in bars or in bottles with a squeezey lid that you press to release the soap - and if so, what brand? Details, people. Details are important.

 

[Daisy Uncle]

Indeed.

Although in this case the reason he didn’t remember his thesis is because he didn’t write most of it.

this is the reason, if, a big if, the benign pituitary tumour happened it wasn't at that point in his fabulist career.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

View attachment 4088836
Jason's PhD advisor.

He’s the one Jase threw under the bus in that interview he did with The Times, claiming ‘inadequate supervision’ was the reason his PhD was rife with plagiarism. (IIRC correctly he also claims there or elsewhere they barely met?)

“Inadequate supervision” is not quite the way he tells it in his book tho.

His ghostwriter must have misunderstood.

 

[ChastityDingle]

Hang on a minute: he thanks an editor at S&S for taking a chance on "a complete unknown" but we just been through pages and pages (and pages and pages and pages) of entire battalions of random people bowing down to him in the streets, clapping and cheering as he makes his humble way through the day, and going out of their way to catch a glimpse of his mystical being. So, as wise ol' Oprah would say: what is the truth? The Messiah or a very naughty [unknown] boy?

But you see he is 'a private person who finds it very uncomfortable to talk about himself'...

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

He’s the one Jase threw under the bus in that interview he did with The Times, claiming ‘inadequate supervision’ was the reason his PhD was rife with plagiarism. (IIRC correctly he also claims there or elsewhere they barely met?)
View attachment 4088851

“Inadequate supervision” is not quite the way he tells it in his book. View attachment 4088858

Ngl, if someone called me Big Phil I'd let the fucker fail on purpose

 

[Tabitha D]

Because virtually everything he says is nonsensical bollox it’s easy to gloss over the finer points and practicalities of some of it. How on earth would this even work?

Spoiler: Long Mither

He’s meant to be giving a lecture to these good-hearted simple-souled PE students on, I dunno, VO2 max, which he’s doing by pontificating at great length on a scene from Rocky IV and The Marvelous Music of The Northwest (TM)’s The Verve’s (Richard Ashcroft’s Band)’s Bittersweet Symphony.

An awed-and-inspired white working class student shyly pipes up asking the exotic creature before her for clarification on calculating VO2 max, to which Jase responds “Why thank you Sarah Elaine, for asking I, Jason Arday, that question. As my mother Giff always says, it is like watching my mother Giff’s mother, (my gran)’s enormous pillar candle burning itself out between Christmas and New Year. And how were your Frosties this morning? Anyway, enough about you. Let’s listen to Orinoco Flow while I inspire you all with more fascinating true stories about me and my fascinating true life. Did you know I still have the towel the snooker cue manufacturers gave me back when I was a teen football and snooker prodigy who had very recently learned to speak in complete inspirational sentences and (also inspirational) bon mots but still couldn’t read or write and used to bunk off school for 6 hours a day every day without anyone knowing to go to Riley’s Clapham (by getting on the number 77 bus outside my school and getting off the number 77 bus outside Riley’s Clapham)?”

Then they all clap and cheer and resolve that thanks to the inspiring presence and words of he, Jason Arday, never will they phone up the Liverpool police when they see a Black man entering a Liverpool house using his Liverpool front door key. If indeed they should ever in their lifetime bear witness such a curious and rare-r than Halley’s Comet event.

Jason exits stage right to catch his daily National Express coach from Liverpool One Bus Station (Canning Place) back to London Victoria Coach Station and from there walking to Victoria Station, getting on the Victoria Line train to Stockwell, getting off the Victoria Line train at Stockwell, changing to the Northern Line at Stockwell and catching a Northern Line train from Stockwell to Clapham South.

Superb!

 

[Daisy Uncle]

The first part, is it possible he's stolen and ramped up the actual early life story of Benjamin Zephaniah.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Does Jase mention the time he stood as a Labour candidate in Croydon council elections In his autobiography? He wasn’t elected

Nope, not a whiff. Not mentioned at all.

That’s while he was at Roehampton, so he decided to duck his Roehampton students over by not knowing a thing about the subject matter, not being the least interested in teaching them, and spending all his time on self-promotion and running for office.

Rather than bleeping them over by not knowing a thing about the subject matter, not being the least interested in teaching them and spending all his time on self-promotion and commuting from London to their institutions in Liverpool, Leeds and Glasgow.

 

[PaddyDomino]

The first part, is it possible he's stolen and ramped up the actual early life story of Benjamin Zephaniah.View attachment 4088866

Yes, I thought that too!

 

[Tabitha D]

He's so humble and self-effacing, isn't he?

 

[TrashleenMoron]

The first part, is it possible he's stolen and ramped up the actual early life story of Benjamin Zephaniah.View attachment 4088866

I really liked Benjamin Zephaniah, and it never occurred to me that that charlatan robbed part of his life just further his grift.

 

[Tabitha D]

Nope, not a whiff. Not mentioned at all.

That’s while he was at Roehampton, so he decided to duck his Roehampton students over by not knowing a thing about the subject matter, not being the least interested in teaching them, and spending all his time on self-promotion and running for office.

Rather than bleeping them over by not knowing a thing about the subject matter, not being the least interested in teaching them and spending all his time on self-promotion and commuting from London to their institutions in Liverpool, Leeds and Glasgow.

You’d think he’d mention something like standing for election because that would be quite a significant event in your life and shows you harbour political ambitions.
I reckon he left it out because (1) it actually appears to be true, and (2) he lost, which somewhat goes against the portrayal of himself in his book as someone who is adored and worshipped by everyone he meets. If he had been elected with a landslide majority and carried aloft by cheering, weeping crowds, it would have been a different story.

 

[Tabitha D]

There were single parents on my degree, masters and PGCE courses. Not a single one of them ever brought their children to a lecture, let alone a picnic.

I’ve not looked it up but I am pretty sure this would not be allowed, for reasons like health & safety, responsibility for children, and rules about the duty to provide a suitable learning environment.

 

[TrashleenMoron]

I’ve not looked it up but I am pretty sure this would not be allowed, for reasons like health & safety, responsibility for children, and rules about the duty to provide a suitable learning environment.

Safeguarding, insurance...

 

[catsandsoup]

I’ve not looked it up but I am pretty sure this would not be allowed, for reasons like health & safety, responsibility for children, and rules about the duty to provide a suitable learning environment.

A woman on my course asked, this was ten years ago, and they put that to paid right away. Used to bring the baby to the uni library, too. The baby was fine, but she had two kids also aged 8 and 10, they used to sit there playing loudly on their iPads, til the library brought in health and safety restrictions... It's a shame, really, because we had a small uni, and probably could have made it work, but there's always someone who takes the piss and ruins it for everyone. (Probably Giff bringing a full three course meal and all her faeces smearing brood, if her life story wasn't entirely fictionalized...)

 

[FrumpyCat]

You’d think he’d mention something like standing for election because that would be quite a significant event in your life and shows you harbour political ambitions.
I reckon he left it out because (1) it actually appears to be true, and (2) he lost, which somewhat goes against the portrayal of himself in his book as someone who is adored and worshipped by everyone he meets. If he had been elected with a landslide majority and carried aloft by cheering, weeping crowds, it would have been a different story.

To be fair, Labour had no hope of winning any seats so they would have just wanted any name to put on the ballot paper. Anyone reasonably sentient would have done, this is really common.

Like the time Jack was going to stand for the NHA party (after, iirc, Labour told her to duck off) but didn't for 'reasons'.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

There were single parents on my degree, masters and PGCE courses. Not a single one of them ever brought their children to a lecture, let alone a picnic.

The whole picnic in the lecture theatre thing genuinely reads to me like he’s just rewatched Witness, a 1985 romantic crime thriller film directed by Peter Weir, starring Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis, Lucas Haas and many others, that appeared frequently on my mother Giff’s large educational television set. (Lesson: be grateful for the simple things in life. And don’t go into grain silos.) and plagiarized changed barn building into a social work lecture in a 1990s Brunel lecture theatre and the hardworking honest Pennsylvania Amish into hardworking honest mature-student-mothers-bettering-themselves and their well-behaved cheery 16 year old illiterate-yet-precociously-loquacious children.

*ETA: I fear I may have spent too many hours reading this fool’s dreadful literary efforts.

 

[FourSeasonSoupObsessive]

He’s the one Jase threw under the bus in that interview he did with The Times, claiming ‘inadequate supervision’ was the reason his PhD was rife with plagiarism. (IIRC correctly he also claims there or elsewhere they barely met?)
View attachment 4088851

“Inadequate supervision” is not quite the way he tells it in his book tho. View attachment 4088858His ghostwriter must have misunderstood.

No good deed going unpunished for Big Phil there, eh. Arday said that the deficiencies in his PhD were ‘errors in citation’, and blamed ‘inadequate supervision’ for that. I’m struggling to see how Phil or any other supervisor could do anything other than say “learn how to cite properly and be rigorous and accurate when you’re doing it”. He’s not going to help, is he? That’s all on you, Jase. In my masters, we got a couple of lectures on how to do it, and then turned out into the world to get on with it.

I mean, it doesn’t matter because none of it’s true, he ducked it because he’s not a clever guy, but I do at least prefer my lies to be somewhat plausible.

Dream roster of new Tatlers: Big Phil, Debs, Eve(?) the editor/co-writer, any of his students, a mole from Carter Ruck, Sandro, Jason’s brother. Would love to hear the tea piping hot from source.

 

[The Skeptical Gerbil]

If he ever becomes single again he should get together with well know failed les and grifter Jack Monroe, together they would be unsloppable.

 

[chelseag]

As much as I’m thoroughly enjoying this fabulously funny and well researched thread, the reality of student debt, unscrupulous HMO student landlords and the tit show that Higher education has become made me quite sad for those lovely and hopeful A level students this week. I hope the Cambridge elite who enabled this delusion choke on their roast swan and asparagus at high table (ok maybe they don’t eat swans, but Arday said he has the Kings most special permission to do so)