Jack Monroe #418 Jack's the only person not all up in her niche

[jenny2603]

I was tempted to simply reply Jack but then I saw a response that stopped me in my tracks.

Jack is an arschgeige. Jack is an ass violin.

 

[Geetbo]

It's just such obvious bollocks isn't it. I mean, when I was 21 my main hobbies were vodka and cock, not old fashioned furniture.

 

[Yel]

clicks photoshop microsoft paint 3D

AI has come so far these days you can say "Jack monroe having lunch in Venice with Nigella Lawson" and get a photorealistic result

Or in Paris

Or in the Carribbean

I'm so sorry , I'll stop now

 

[BlendedSlop]

I'd love to believe that Patreon are about to yeet her off their platform (God, imagine the howling and wailing if her single most lucrative grift stream ran dry overnight), but I'd personally take "Claire from Harrogate" with a large pinch of homemade orange peel and dried herb bath salts.

Also, found this while I was looking for something else, and...lol

 

[jenny2603]

Earning £40k p/a whilst pregnant but barely two years later is destitute because SB ate, shat and destroyed all the money? What a poisonous lying, weasel she is. God forbid she should take responsibility for blowing a fortune on branded goods and a fancy flat because she's a pathetic, insecure little snob. She'll be blaming that poor child for stealing the Patreon and Teemill money next.

 

[That Forensic Man]

‘No backstage access’ is making me chuckle.
Bet Honk was FEWMIN that she couldn’t get a selfie with them!

There's a 'personal photograph with counting crows' included but it's asterisked, no explanation of what the asterisk means though (no povs?)
I found the set list for anyone who gives a shit

Spoiler: Original

 

[hiyaaaacath]

I'd love to believe that Patreon are about to yeet her off their platform (God, imagine the howling and wailing if her single most lucrative grift stream ran dry overnight), but I'd personally take "Claire from Harrogate" with a large pinch of homemade orange peel and dried herb bath salts.

Also, found this while I was looking for something else, and...lol

View attachment 1664623

Just HOW shit at your job are you if you’re working 17 hour days and still can’t afford shower gel. Babe, I strongly (gently) suggest a career change. You’re just not very good at whatever it is that you do.

 

[Geetbo]

To be fair, we have made 418 threads about her so far

I don’t know about everyone else but the canal is the draw for me rather than Jack. She’s just the bit of grit around which the pearl has grown.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Just to go back to the Patreon squig post - she is replying to a TT post and tags jack in. She clearly thinks jack works with/for them

View attachment 1668964

Hang, on - the Trussell Trust are running an appeal to ask people to donate cash rather than food?

This is the organisation who had a £39m surplus left from £57m income at the end of the most recent year for which they've published accounts. Now, obviously, as responsible charity, they'll want to put aside some money to smooth out short-term fluctuations in income and expenses - but they're not an investment fund, and they're not looking to make a profit.

So why are they asking for more cash when they've already got more than they're able to spend?

 

[Captainmouse]

No doubt about that but obviously she can’t get the boobage right then. Not that she gets anything right in that respect!

exactly! This is supposedly the same person

 

[jenny2603]

Ngl I'm 31 and have no idea what a CHESTERFIELD SOFA is. Send educationos.

One of these.

Now the canal have a chesterfield. GET FUCKED JACK.

 

[overdueanadventure]

I was a little sad that Jack did not win the Pink News award, as I had this in preparation.

I'm somewhat dubious about this. Patreon are adamant that any issues between patron and creator are exactly that, issues between the patron and creator, and if you want a refund you have to take it up with them.

They may suspend an account if there are sufficient complaints and/or card chargebacks (as they're bearing the cost of those chargebacks at the moment), but I doubt they'd tell a random complainer that the creator's account was being closed "soon".

View attachment 1664598

Yeah, seems unlikely.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

The one in her picture has a smooth seat tho?

That’s the price for the smooth seat one. The pic just doesn’t change no matter what colour/wood/seat option you choose to put in- see, even if you put a light cream plain seat, that same wine-ish colour tufted one stays in the pic. I used the plain seat option to get the costings for hers and a couple of different finishes that look like hers.

They don’t call me Nancy Drew for nothing. Well, they don’t call me Nancy Drew at all, LITERALLY speaking. But if they DID call me Nancy Drew, they wouldn’t be calling me it for nothing.

 

[Smeghead]

Like two peas in a pod Tories with unfunny stories

 

[Auntyanchïoade]

Currently on holiday in Jamaica (such a Frau that I am currently catching up on Jack rather than going for the on offer holiday Vodka and cock) but as one of the resident canal Rail expert's (Train Driver) toot toot, just want to reiterate, you cannot be locked on a train and forgotten for more than a possible few minutes. All empty coaching stock is walked through and physically checked by rail crew before departing for depot or sidings, without exception. Any one "trapped" would be politely let off from the nearest door. Sorry to be a pedant but this recurring lie grates my corned beef.

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Owen Jones (Probably not a murderer*)

*Canal joke after confusion arose due to identical initials to OJ Simpson, who might be a murderer.

Slightly off topic but I've met that snarky little shite Jones (in a work capacity) several times. Understandable if him and Monroe are friends. Unbearable ballsack of a man. Also a narc. Also has the personality and sense of humour of a damp cornflake.

 

[SarcasticEllis]

I don't understand what you'd use them for even with a lid? In fact I'd go so far as to say they're more useful without a lid (tee light holder, ashtray, lil water dish for a smol animal, paddling pool for a dollhouse) than with one??

Gu supporter here! If you use squeezy tubes for cleanser etc then when it’s running low, cut open and scoop out the remainder (more than you’d think) into a pot such as a Gu one.
Join me tomorrow for a nifty way to turn sanitary towels into spa-like slippers.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Looking back, for someone with her for such a short space of time, poor wealthy Old Harold was pretty long suffering. Picking her up at Southend station with a sweaty backpack of dismembered animal parts, clutching multiple cold soggy McPlants in her grimy mitt and proffering them on him. I bet he still hasn’t got the lingering honk out of his big car.

And that’s not even including the time she called him deliciously ordinary, forced him to buy the same ugly brass mugs and crockery as her, tried to seduce his brother, incessantly called his parents her “outlaws” and in-laws and posted pictures of his mother’s birthday holiday cottage online, twatted about loving herself with an ugly dead pig on her head, forced his family to carry her ridiculous cookery book set around their Bridget Jones-style mini break because=smol disabled pixie, breadcrumbed being knocked up and/or wanting a house to him every five fucking seconds, tricked out a supermarket cake to make it look like a particularly uncomfortable turd to force on his family, posted a pic of his living room online and mocked the (admittedly shit looking) toastie he made her, ruined his holiday to Dordrecht with shopping for junk, drama and histrionics, spent almost every waking moment with her phone glued to her hand arguing with people online, forced him to navigate around her hoarded crap about which he was clearly uncomfortable (because fuckwad told us) oh and wore boilersuits and other clothes and showed off her minging tattoos all of which he supposedly HATED. No wonder he LEFT.

All credit to Jack and her unparalleled self awareness for being stunned at this quite frankly flabbergasting turn of events.
View attachment 1667254

Fucking hell. My username has never felt more appropriate.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I find it so odd she still wears her exs gift, especially as he crushed her so much when he LEFT. As soon as i left my exs their gifted stuff was chairty shopped.

Last time I broke up with someone, I threw the necklace they bought me into the Thames, in a very dramatic Titanic style scene. No way I’d have kept wearing it after he left me with the broken embers of the dreams we’d built, or whatever shit she was on about.

I wouldn’t bother sending a submarine down to retrieve it. I think it was an Elizabeth Duke special.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Inspired by Jack’s daily Twitter bio counter (#thankspaceyoufortheinspoJack)

696 days since Jack last updated her Patreon

272 days since Jack claimed to begin work on the VBI (that was going to “take the weekend”)

260 days since Teemill monies began going to “other charities” with zero updates given

160 days since Jack crowdfunded legal fees for an alleged libel case directly into her personal PayPal account with no evidence of any legal action subsequently taken.

49 days since Jack promised her Patrons an update on the lack of rewards for almost two years and her refusal to address this.

Spoiler: Guest Starring: For One Thread Only

One day since Jack did not win a Pink News award she exhorted her 570,000 Twitter followers to vote for #AWKS

Edited to be FORENSIC and say “almost” two years.