Jack Monroe #247 A ragtag group of nerd volunteers

[Flash123]

oh Chris!

 

[LavaFlake]

How it started vs how it's going (same squiggle)

 

[Veronicaaa]

With the shaky voice, grainy camera quality and stark white background, this interview has the look and feel of a hostage victim being forced to read out their kidnapper's demands.

I'm going straight to hell

ETA I *will* delete this.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Scene - bedroom, shitty bungalow

Jack is whispering nasally sweet nothings into her sentient mirror in between news slots. She's interrupted by SB skipping into the room merrily, holding a dinner plate.

"Mamapapa, look at my burger bun. For shame, I can only count seven seeds. Does this mean the price of sesame seeds has increased and Big Sesame are trying to kill the poor?"

Jack manages to look away from the mirror for an ephemera of a moment.

"SB, I'm so proud of you! You've clearly been listening to all the very important interviews I'm doing. This is what we call 'cutting through' in current affairs journalism."

"Well, actually mamapapa, you've been so preoccupied with your self-promotion and things recently, I thought this might get your attention for a bit."

"Never mind about that, I'm BUSY. This should get me at least a few hundred likes and maybe even a new Patron or two. Give me the bun."

"But mamapapa, I haven't finished eating yet. Don't be beastly to me."

"It'll only be the work of a moment. Mama's doing VERY IMPORTANT THINGS. Now stop being difficult or there'll be no bollock and eyelid sausages for you tomorrow."

SB sighs and reluctantly hands over the remainder of his dinner. Jack spends roughly fifteen minutes taking photos of the offending bun from various angles and experimenting with different lighting levels. SB shifts from one foot to the other, wondering whether to go and fetch his conversation starter cards in a vain attempt at getting his mother's attention.

"I'm going to be a while, son. Now fuck off and go play with your spinning top. I'll buy you a dinosaur biscuit tomorrow, and if you keep quiet for the rest of the evening I won't even take a bite out of it first."

SB wearily turns and shuffles out of the room, leaving Jack staring at the seeded bun with a rare glint in her shark eyes. An idea begins to maraud around her maverick puppy brain.

"Hmm, sesame allergy. Haven't used that one before."

She starts furiously typing a tweet:
Have had to cancel all my scheduled appearances for the foreseeable future as I've suddenly come out in SEVERE hives and my throat feels like it's closing up. Don't suggest any remedies as I SHAN'T be listening to them. But if I can't do any paid work for a while, how am I going to put my heating on?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

View attachment 1018230View attachment 1018231View attachment 1018232

She is NOT fucking trans!

Fuck the fuck off you, awful self-centred, attention seeking, compulsive lying narc. Why is no one seeing through her bullshit?!

ARGH! I hate her.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

This has probably already been said, but it's great how Jack's "severe burnout" and multiple other ailments all disappear when there's tv and radio gigs to be had.

 

[Boyo]

 

[LavaFlake]

It's very refreshing that the majority of comments on Twitter are negative. Just goes to show beyond the bumlicking FBPE brigade there is some common sense. I could have kept scrolling and screenshotting but here are just the first few.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Darlings I am immeasurably disappointed I missed a live Jack cooking segment but I had to go and get my hair cut. I went for the reverse mohawk. Toni & Guy are going to post it on their Instagram later.

I'd been finding this whole thing quite amusing but now it's reached the tipping point and I'm getting increasingly annoyed. The fact that all these prominent people are sucking up to Jack thinking she's single-handedly solved a national crisis in under a week based on FABRICATED data is both completely mind-blowing and a sad indictment of this country's education system. My only consolation, as a massive bitch, is that she looks every one of her 43 years

 

[Veronicaaa]

This has been in the works since last November, fellow fact lovers.

Transformation of consumer price statistics - Office for National Statistics

Our plans to transform UK consumer price statistics by including new improved data sources and developing our methods and systems for production from 2023.

www.ons.gov.uk

 

[Malkiavelli]

View attachment 1018189

Average UK house price: 269,349
Shoeburyness average house price: 361, 050

Thorpe Bay: 585,145

It's truly disgusting how she's attempting to paint the picture of living in some run-down, destitute town for her poverty cosplay.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack Monroe tweets -
JACK MONROE
JACK MONROE
JACK MONROE
JACK MONROE
Oh and did I mention - JACK MONROE

 

[NitheringMinny]

Hi actual supermarket worker here off the top of my head the wages for a colleague are about £10 per hour ,my company will go up to £10.50 in march (I'm in London btw) will be less outside Aldi/Lidl pay between 10.75 and 11.55 but tbh you're expected to work HARD..the issue for supermarket colleagues is not the money but the contract hours ,full time 35 hours + contracts don't exist these days except in rare occurances,most contracts will be between 12-30 hours per week as like most supermarkets we employ a lot of young folk so uni/college takes priority ....but nice to see Slopzilla getting the wrong end of the stick as usual .

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[kachoochoo]

HOW ARE PEOPLE SO THICK???

sorry for shouting, i just cannot deal with this shit

normal, usually intelligent people, some of whom i admire(d) greatly, seriously think that the ONS has changed their methods within a week due to a series of showerthought tweets by a 2 bit blogger? and ordinary squigs think she should be crowned queen or something? and they all think she lives in a tiny, draughty house, living off toothpaste + stock cubes?

ok then... *screams forever*

 

[Skyfall]

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

tbf, there's not much critical thought on so many topics esp the lefty media. They enjoy whatever crap is said to make an opposing side look bad even if it's a load of hot air.

There will be many of these blue ticks retweeting and comments that will not give another thought about this, they're just going with a flow cause others are retweeting so don't want to be seen as ignoring it

100% true. Many years ago, when everyone was still on FB, a friend posted a quote along the lines of "Love is love, gay rights matter" attributed to pope Francis. It obviously wasn't said by the Pope, but when I softly, gently pointed this out in response saying that the Catholic Church is still very much homophobic, my friend's FB friends all jumped on me telling ne to pipe down, it's a lovely quote, who made me the hall monitor, etc.

I tried to call explain misinformation spreading online. No one listened. I knew then all was lost. And now I'm here, with you lot, instead.

 

[MsGilmore]

I'm not an avid follower of Jack, but I do think that poverty has become part of her identity. She seems to revert back to being the poor single mum on benefits, but nobody questions what she does with the money that she does earn. I would imagine that This Morning pay a decent fee, but she still seems to struggle. Surely she would invest any money that she does make from times like this for rainy days! But if she lets go of the poverty identity, she would probably lose income.

This post seems out of place in a thread with a lot of in-jokes that I don't understand! But I just find Jack a complete contradiction.

 

[skronkywildcat]

*Looks up from writing Chris Giles and Steve Dresser fanfic*

What now?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

So pleased you said this…. Was pretty shocked to see her use

Well let's face it, she's the Rachel Dolezal of poverty. Never actually experienced it, thinks she knows everything.