Jack Monroe #23 Life would be so much easier if everyone was a chronic optimist.

[GrunkaLunka]

Fucking hell lads, I've made it to the current thread.... Oh shit, you're already up to page 49.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I don’t know the details of the KH case so won’t comment on that but the thing that stands out in my mind is the image of JM walking in or out of court with the aid of a stick. The same JM who lugs 18L of paint in a rucksack, who jumps around of her sofa in satin pj’s (the same sofa she rarely uses because she’s too busy working) and carries a 93kg (?) sideboard by herself.

Sorry M’lord but It just doesn’t add up.

Morning - I feel I need to drop in on this. Apologies for the essay, but it's important to me.

With inflammatory arthritis, you can have periods of remission and relapse if you're lucky. From the many photographs, her hands and feet do look fucked, albeit not in active disease as there is no swelling. One of the common medications, a DMARD called Methotrexate which is still used in much higher doses as a chemotherapy treatment, can and does cause at least some hair loss in many people. Uncontrolled inflammation is now known to affect mood in itself, rather than just as a consequence of being in pain.

It is also possible, particularly if you have periods of remission, to exercise, weight train and do a lot that means whilst you feel absolutely dreadful, you still have a lot of muscle mass and residual strength; you also get very good on posture. Interestingly, a lot of people experience remission shortly after commencing an entirely vegan/plantbased diet, but this doesn't tend to last because if you aren't absolutely 100% wanting to protect/save/whatever animals, it's still bastarding hard to do, it can be very triggering for disordered eating and like it or not, it's very, very difficult to keep vitamin and mineral levels up so you can end up with all sorts of deficiencies, including Vitamin D deficiency, which can mean you end up with something like osteomalacia, low mood and insomnia.

Consistent steroid use, whether oral (yuk), intra-articular injections (yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk) or through intramuscular injections (meh) that Rheumatologists can give you can be like magic energy meds as, within a short time, you feel fucking invincible, but they have hidden costs - they also fuck up your bone density in the long term and, in the short term can trigger hyper behaviour even without ADHD or bipolar as well as the natural human response of 'I can DO STUFF! Let's GO!' where you rush around doing eleven million things at once, eat all the food and become generally insufferable before they wear off or you inevitably damage yourself and crash again. If you add in a likely element of hypermobility (as per dancing), you have unstable joints, additional pain, clumsiness and more bastarding pain even when the joints themselves aren't inflamed.


Of all the stuff Jack gets the side eye from me about, I completely believe the RA. And it is very common for women to be told they have bipolar/depression/it's all in their head when they describe such symptoms as pain, tiredness, insomnia and lack of grip strength, so they acquire a mental health diagnosis or two long before anybody stops and actually books a few blood tests - being persuaded to take some antidepressants when you don't need them, you need something designed to damp down inflammation, is roughly the same as necking a handful of Ecstasy, just without the cool music - everything is too bright, too loud, too disorienting, and you go essentially batshit from lack of sleep and being pilled off your tits. Whilst your hands/feet/back/hip/knee/whatever still all hurt like fuck.

And, of course, when you go back to the GP and tell them this, they first of all double/triple/quadruple your dose for 6-12 months before referring you on to a Psychiatrist, who never, ever thinks of anything other than mental health and how to medicate that. Bingo, bipolar diagnosis. Have some antipsychotics on top of Depakote. Don't read the side effects leaflet where it says that this can increase inflammatory processes in your body, whatever you do. And don't pay any heed to the leaflet on Tramadol where it says that can have exactly the same effect upon you as another handful of bad Es. Because you aren't depressed or bipolar, you have inflammatory arthritis that isn't being treated appropriately whilst they wank about with all this psychoactive shit to confirm their prejudices about women all being hysterical/mental.

If then, because you are naturally very suspicious of any medications, get to see a Rheumatologist who recommends some other medications that have serious side effects like sight loss, liver failure (so you mustn't drink), fatal infections or in the long term, cancer, you might be reluctant to take them. After all, everything else you've been told will work has hurt you. So you decline in favour of pain medication. BIG mistake. You're now chemically dependent on those and they aren't actually all that good at handling the sort of pain you have. Plus the Rheumatology Department discharges you as any GP can prescribe those. You're back to square one, only with mental health diagnoses, a note on your records that you could be exhibiting drug seeking behaviour and no access to say 'actually, I'd like to reconsider those DMARDs now' within under 9 - 12 months (new referral, waiting time, first appointment, return in 3 (knocked back to 5) months with test results, need to repeat tests because they're over 3 months ago, return in 3/5, try this drug and come back in 3, etc, etc.



Even with a pretty much lifelong history of having had inflammatory arthritis, I still encounter medical personnel who don't believe me. Woe betide anybody who says 'So, what makes you think you have something wrong with you?'. And God help the person who says 'Have you considered the possibility that you think you're in pain because you're depressed?'. Or, as you get older 'Have you heard of a condition called Fibromyalgia? It's completely untreatable so we'll diagnose it and discharge you'.

I was first diagnosed at age 6. I'm now 47 and have been on medication that helps a lot for one year. That's all. One year. It has taken over 40 fucking years to get a Psoriatic Arthritis label which now means I have access to stuff that actually helps.


Feeling snappy and sarcastic where that's concerned is an entirely reasonable response.



However - that doesn't give me the right to be a dick to anybody else outside the 'It must all be in your head' brigade. I don't lie, I don't make everything about meeeee (except for this post, obviously), I don't intentionally risk my employment opportunities or spout off publicly about people far more powerful or influential than I am when it has negative effects upon my future employability. I come up with the goods every single time. I'm not late, I'm not absent, I'm not obviously angry. Because I still need a roof over my head, I still need food on the table and I need some sort of financial stability for the future. It's not my fault. But it's happened. So I deal with it, ignore as much as I can, learned some extreme diplomacy and interpersonal skills and I am damn good at my job. I'm also a bloody good musician and technician. And actor.


Staying outwardly calm and getting the job done is the key. I might feel like screaming into the void sometimes, but inconveniently, there is always somebody in the way if I want to. So I don't. Because it's not their fault.

Collapse and hide or moan in private. When it's showtime, you get your shit together and you give the people their show.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

I've been frantically reading through these threads for hours. I really shouldn't cheat and communicate with you in the future when I'm 50 pages behind but I miss you all and I have loved the little messages of support dotted through the pages. Thank you. See you soon

 

[Passive_Aggressive_Lemon]

Hello Jack / Jack’s friend / Jack’s lawyer,

I haven’t given up on you yet. I think with some prep you can vastly improve your next Hellman’s show. It was not a good watch - your anxiety and flustered manner were distracting and uncomfortable. You won’t like hearing that, however you won’t improve unless you listen to constructive criticism.

Here’s my advice for next week’s show:

1. As soon as possible confirm with Hellman’s the theme of the show, what recipes you will cook, the guest, and what Hellman’s products you need to be promoting. Don’t invent a new recipe or go off piste. Pick something you know is popular and appealing.

2. Make a list of ingredients and equipment you need for the recipe. With a checklist. Include every single thing needed - even down to the last teaspoon. Check you have everything, do not assume. This needs to be completed by Sunday eve at the latest.

3. Monday. Set up a new private Instagram account to test your tech and get familiar with using the live function. Add some friends and Hellman’s contacts. Get a good night’s sleep.

4. Tuesday morning. Avoid your social media. You don’t need to be distracted by it all day. If you worked in an office you would not be allowed to tweet constantly. Fulfil any contractural obligations you have for promo before 9am. Then put phone away. Then call your contact at Hellman’s. Check no details have changed and everything is ok at their end.

5. Do at least 2, preferably 3, dummy runs during the morning. Do the whole thing as though you are acting a play and speak it out loud. Mime the cooking so as not to waste ingredients. This should take you 2 to 3 hours and will be invaluable. Ensure you hit the points that Hellman’s want you to make. Did you include their products and mention the benefits of them?

6. Lunchtime. Have a break. Get your outfit ready for the live.

7.check your tech. Using the test Instagram account you set up. Do a live and check you can go live with guests and know exactly which buttons to press. Iron out any issues. Set up tripod. Check camera angles are good. Take photos of set, is there anything in shot that shouldn’t be?

8. Lay out all equipment and ingredients. Use your written checklist. Put everything out in order it will be needed. Cook anything that requires pre-cooking.

9. Run through any parts again that you think need more work. Or do another full dummy run

10. Go for a walk with your kid / have a cuppa / snack / take some time out to relax.

11. Get changed into your outfit. Do a couple of breathing exercises / anything that helps calm your anxiety.

12. Go Live. Do not tell anyone how nervous you are. Smile big.

13. Debrief with team straight afterwards. Listen to feedback.


sorry for long post guys. I just get so frustrated watching and think with some better prep she could do much better. If she’s being paid at least £10k it’s not unreasonable to spend one full day prepping. Her other work needs to be scheduled on other days of the week and Tuesday devoted to Hellman’s.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

What has poverty campaigner, activist, correspondent with the government regularly consulting her Jack done during lockdown?

Compared to a 22 year old Premier League footballer. She is a disgrace. Hanging on the coattails of others for attention when she had the same chance as everyone else to make a difference but unfortunately she couldn’t see past making it all about her.

 

[ChilliBean]

Also

(I know this is old news but I am just catching up on all these threads)

The fact that she is being paid AT LEAST £10k to piss about with some mayonnaise in a shed on instagram live is abhorrent.

I'm a nurse who is currently trying to save for a house deposit and I have been working endless overtime shifts (due to covid as well as my own financial goals) and am still so far off my goal. The fact that she is paid £10k (at least!!!) for so little unskilled work is enough to make me want to tear my hair out and quit my job. Its incredibly frustrating and disheartening to work endless night shifts for essentially a pittance and then she has the cheek to plead poverty on twitter. Something is seriously wrong with influencer/instagram celebrities and something needs to change.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Stop the press hausfraus! @GrunkaLunka has reached thread #20!

 

[BubbleDuck]

She’s baffling. I can understand the reasoning for some of the lies, like those relating to her finances - poverty is her USP, the lies are still wrong but I get it.

This sums up why , like many people here, I went from a follower of JM to doubter .Poverty was the reason she became visible to a wider audience, and yes, at that point it was her USP. But much of her appeal was because she was one of us- a single mum, relying on benefits , financially struggling through circumstances that could befall anyone. Several years on, with numerous published books, brand deals , tv appearances, engagements to several financially stable women ,Groucho membership etc , for her still to be working poverty as her USP is insulting. She could easily have rebranded herself as an inspirational figure - someone who despite the hurdles of financial circumstance, in addition to being a non binary , trans , single parent- was now financially secure, and wanted to use her experiences and new position/privilege to help others. She could have published a book of basic cooking skills- something that many people her generation ( I’m a similar age) may have not been taught at school, with an emphasis on how these basic skills help make a limited budget go further . She could have done a book of child friendly meals, aimed at parents, who like her, were struggling to make food stretch to feed both children and parents. She could have used her profile to promote the importance of nutrition , and how it food can be used alongside medical intervention, to help manage the medical conditions that she reportedly lives with ,etc. Instead, she has made the decision to retain her living in poverty narrative , working ridiculous hours on a living wage,living alone in “shitty” rented accommodation, with no real support or childcare . Like I’ve said here before, when I first started following JM , I was in a similar situation. I still struggle financially at times, but I have a stable home , my kids are always fed without me needing to sell their favourite toys, I work around the limited childcare ( ie school hours, breakfast/homework club, kindness of my children’s friends parents) available to me. I might not have a smeg fridge, expensive knives,nor expensive perfumes or coats. My last weekend trip away might have been to a caravan park in Hastings with the kids, rather than a cheeky trip to wherever it was that JM went to and had to check in/leave ( I forget which ) the expensive knife. A (rare ) meal out might be at my local pub for the earlybird special rather than at the Groucho shouting at Jude Law to sit down so I can see the results for Redcar . I might not be rich or famous, i might not have the blue tick which deems me worthy of a response. But if I was given the choice between my current lifestyle and JM’s , would I still choose mine? Yes, absolutely!

Really? I like the threads here - they respond to JM when they need to, which is most of the time, and rattle on nicely in between.

this is the first thread here that I have actively engaged in, and it’s precisely because of the inbetween rattle . Jack is a chef/cook/food blogger/influencer, a political activist/potential MP, a parent, a pet owner, someone who has a experienced relationship breakdowns. Most, if not all, of the slight tangents we have taken have had a starting point in something Jack has said or done. We have been assigned membership to a cabal Of Hausfrauen by her devoted fanbase .there is a shared interest in food/cats/Cookbooks/a certain chefs forearms/seeds/general Hausfaus activities between us all.its like we are our own little micro community within the chat about JM. We care for, and look out for each other. We share our knowledge. We open up to one another. We challenge each other when needed and take the opportunity to challenge and expand our own knowledge and points of view. We are one big maverick, chaotic,weird little brained online family. Which will be very handy post trial when ms 100% legal success record has taken all our assets and we are forced to share one rented shitty bungalow ,cooking our one daily meal of rinsed beans and grated corned beef on a camping stove that is set up in the bathroom, next to the fridge

 

[Andie_H]

I think you can be someone who has had shit thrown at you as well as a narcissistic cunt at the same time. Yes, some people have been vile to her but she isn't Little Miss Sunshiney Perfect by any means. She's a Venn Diagram all by herself.

Deffo not Little Miss Sunshiney Perfect... more like snarky bint .

 

[Alansbigplate]

Good news folks; @GrunkaLunka made it to thread #21

 

[colouredlines]

*only 0.1% of her life is lived in public*

"SO THERE I WAS, TUCKING MY LABIA INTO 3 PAIRS OF PANTS"

 

[PennyLoafer]

Sorry but what the fuck is she on about? The person literally just said they were looking forward to the content from black creators, they told her to take care. There wasn’t a hint of passive aggression in that Tweet unless you’re paranoid as hell and take offence to literally everything. Her defensive reply isn’t even a reply? It reads like a reply to a completely different message

There's a bit of background to this one. That's the Holly who tackled Jack a few days ago about her shitty performative video and her 'white as mayonnaise' comment. Holly is repeating Jack's pledge back to her, lest she has forgotten. This obviously hit a nerve. Holly has the measure of her.

PS 'I've been busy doing loads of stuff behind the scenes' is exactly what I say to my line manager when I've been doing fuck all.

 

[no-no]

Sorry if already posted, but I LOVE the “patr(e)onising”

 

[busylass]

Jack wears many hats including cook, writer, journalist and activist. She seems to want to focus on being a cook now.

So focus. She said years ago that she wanted to get more comfortable in front of the camera so she did some presenter training. She did some YouTube readings. She's been on This Morning a few times. I don't doubt live TV isn't terrifying but she knows what she's getting herself into. I didn't watch all the facebook live tonight but the bits I saw I felt she was best when she did the Q&A on her own as it was more her comfort zone. She has admitted that she can't cook and talk so why continue. There are so many other foodies who are doing it well and seemingly effortless that Jack should see that the nervous edge is really off-putting. When you're a professional it's not cute or endearing to keep saying you're nervous or not prepared. I'm nervous in my job sometimes but you do it and don't show it. And if it makes you feel like that then change jobs. I really think with a different approach she could really appeal. A prerecorded video cooking one of her recipes and maybe using substitutions? What about setting a £50 budget on a Monday with a shopping list and cooking meals all week - doesn't have to be videos, just a recipe to show how you can use all your food? Use recipes from your books for meals for Monday-Friday. Treat days? Fakeaways? Find the enjoyment of food and cooking it for your family and friends. It doesn't matter if you're not poor now. You don't have to be. You know what it's like and people understand that. Find your strength of which you have many and go with that.

Sorry for the long post. Had to get it out.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Stop the press hausfraus! @GrunkaLunka has reached thread #20!

Come on Grunka, you can do this!

 

[Nonnymouse]

And this is why just as I'm starting to actually feel bad for and hope that mentally she isn't in a really shitty place, I never stay there feeling bad for long because she is such an absolute asshole to her followers who are asking a perfectly legitimate question. She doesn't know what sort of a day that person is having, her being so snarky could really make someone feel bad, so for someone who likes to pose as a MH advocate when it suits her, it really boils my piss to see her acting like that to people.

Yeah but she's a MH advoctae when it suits, then is snarky with no reason
She's a BAME advocate for a monetised video when it suits, but knew nothing about BoT
She;s a bullying advocate when it suits, then horrendously bullies THAT MAN
She's ill when it suits, then is carrying 18l of paint home the next
She wants a TV programme when it suits, then says how nervous she is and is shit

I would suggest that if any of us started a job, did 2 weeks full on, then did it on and off for a few weeks, then once a week and we were still shit, we'd accept we'd made the wrong career choices.

I don't doubt that like most of us she's not in a great mental state right now (I can't remember the last time I slept more than 2-3 hours a night bcos of lying awake worrying) but maybe the people she's snarking at, ignoring, or just plain making fools of aren't either.

She needs to back away from the things she is bad at (social media, tv presenting, sponsored lives) and focus on the stuff she is good at (writing, selling books, columns / 'voxpop' stuff, even interior design) - doing things you;re bad at will only make you feel worse, but the pride in doing something you're good at is priceless.

 

[lipsticktaser]

I used to. Then I met him IRL. He is quite short. Nothing wrong with short blokes but I just imagined him towering over me.
When I say 'met him' I mean I saw him in a pub once when out on a (Slightly boozy) PTA lunchtime meeting. We all just stared at him drooling.....
He seemed lovely as he politely smiled at what could only be described as a drunken group of perimenopausal mums as he left the pub.

Edit to say that even though I've gone off him a bit, I still TOTALLY would though....

I'm 6ft and just can't got over the height thing. Hottest guy in the world could be at my table and I'd be swooning but he stood up and was shorter than me, instant nope. Believe me I've tried. Nothing kills the mood like feeling someones toes hitting your shin mid shag. Can't do it.

 

[lipsticktaser]

Jack wouldn't be able to hack a cooking course or a kitchen. She thinks she's far superior. Could you imagine her working a station? Just grilling salmon for a 16 hour shift.
She just needs to move her cooking and skills beyond washing fucking beans.

I also find it disingenuous how she makes it out like she has done this all on her own. As mentioned up thread she moved in with someone very influential in the food and london scene. It is not an everyman/woman story. She is doing a major disservice to people experiencing poverty. There are people out there living the life she perpetrated and trying desperately to escape it. It is extremely difficult to go from £1 a day to BBC presenter on your own. Most people struggle to get out of poverty on their own. I know I did.
No one would care about if she told the right narrative.
'Nice childhood, fell on hard times. This made me political & interested in food poverty. Wrote a few cook books, done some campaigning. Doing well now (7 books and a few TV shows, don't you know) but still fighting the good fight because I know how quick you can end up in a less that ideal situation.'

My problem with her 'I'm so poor' schtick, if the same as her BLM video. She has no idea. By her using her own voice she becomes a malign influence. She is taking the focus away from people who are experience the problem first hand and their voices are the ones that need to be listened to. I'm sure JM has money issues, we all do. But she has a nice home and has had a lot of work recently. She has experience and could get a 9-5 job if freelance dries up.
I'm sure she has faced prejudice and discrimination but she isn't black. That was not her story to tell, and it didn't even articulate how to be an ally properly.

She obviously has some talent and skill, she wouldn't have got here on her own. But she didn't drag herself up to where she is now. And to make people believe that is keeping them down. We all need help, and there is no weakness in admitting it.

I'm just sick to death of hearing of all the issues and injustice in the world from a white middle class person (of which I'm probably one, as much as I'd loath to admit it. Working class for life!!).
Food is political but she just seems to have a finger in too many pies. Jack of all trades and master of none. Just do one thing and do it well, then add in. She's just a fucking gobshite. Screams about all these issues on twitter and thinks it's enough.
GOSBHITE GOBSHITE GOBSHITE






AND BREATH

 

[Jelly Bean]

I think @GrunkaLunka surely must be on the home straight now.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Shiiiit I just got VIP